Teach Me Self-Reflective Blog Posts · 1:57am Aug 21st, 2017
About a year ago, I wrote a little story called Bonitatem Doce Me for a writeoff. It won the gold, to my surprise. After that, I expanded and posted it under the title "Teach Me Goodness." To my even greater surprise, it made the Royal Canterlot Library. It remains my top-rated story, and my favorite thing that I've written for FiMfic over the past year.
Part of that is because of how deeply personal it is.
If you read my RCL interview, you know that I wrote it at something of a turning point in my life, once which influenced both my choice in subject matter and the way I wrote about said subject matter (the prompt, "End of an Era," certainly influenced my choices, too). Put simply, I had to leave behind the teaching profession after being in it for some time, and I was feeling rather emotional about that.
A year and some weeks later, I find myself at another turning point in my life. Tomorrow, I go to a new job in my old profession. And, as a result, I've started considering "TMG" again. I realize that, now more than ever, I identify with Cheerilee in that story.
Except that, unlike Cheerilee, the reality of it all hasn't really hit me yet. I still expect to wake up tomorrow morning at my usual time and go about my usual routine from the past year. Wake up, freshen up, take the day as it comes, crank out some horsewords when I can. I've had months to prepare for this, both professionally and emotionally, and I find myself unprepared. Excited, yes. Confident... mostly. But unprepared.
I've talked a bit about the sequel to "TMG" that I've been working on since last December. I'd hoped to have it done by this month, actually, but I got sucked into the Sunlight Shipping Contest, so the ongoing professional angst of Ms. Cheerilee has gone mostly unattended (I have a fair part of it written; it's just not completed, or even edited). It's my hope that I can have it out by the end of Thanksgiving at the latest. I bring that up because, just as "TMG" was a deeply personal story, this sequel will be too. All the uncertainty I'm talking about, or alluding to, in this post, you'll probably see in there, if and when it's posted.
And we can revisit all of this then. A couple months from now, maybe I can look back on this blog a little differently. But right now, I feel closer to the character that I wrote for that story than I did when I first wrote it, and I think the next few months will only deepen that connection.
Thanks, teach. 
...So what you're saying is that your new job involves putting on a cheerleader outfit?
No man, I get you; most of my stuff is personal too. Anything remotely good, anyway.
One of the hardest things for me lately has been summoning the emotional chutzpah to get back and work on my long-running story about Rarity in a dark AU because it's one where I reach down deep and make myself go back over my own past struggles with what the meanings of life and goodness and hope really are in a world that's fundamentally broken and messed-up. Which sounds lame typing it, but I've been at points where I wasn't sure I could find that goodness and light, and where I just wanted to say screw it to the whole thing. And lately with some of the stuff that's been going on... I'm not re-fighting those battles exactly, it's more like I feel rattled and drained even as I try to live the answers as best I know how.
I wish you the best with the new job!
4642611
Ooh, I hope so. Then show us pictures. Yay Cheerleader outfits!
Build a boat, Posh.
4643030 ...And do what with it?
4643138 ship it, of course.
4643138
Go sailing.
What else do you use a boat for?
4643295 I think 4643145 has the right of it, actually.
4643575
I am Editor Man. My word is law.
One of a number of extremely enjoyable stories. It deserves its perch on the top of the pile. Just one question: Did you mean to write this in the description?
Also featured in the Royale Canteloupe Liberty.
4643690 EEYUP!
4643719 Free the Fruits! Let the vines breathe without the weight of oppressive harvesting! Down with cruel farming methods that steal the children of these innocent plants and sacrifice them to the ravenous hunger of the hippopatriarchy! Errr.... Hippomatriarchy!
Applejack lined up for the first kick of the morning harvest, feeling the crisp air in every hair of her coat and the damp grass underhoof. This was what it meant to be a farmer, and there was nothing in Equestria she liked doing better.
That feeling lasted only until her hooves slammed into the tree trunk, the same way she had bucked trees for years, only this time, the tree screamed.
It was a piercing cry of agony, followed by dozens of pipping little voices from every apple buckets where the fruit of the tree had fallen. It was hard to pick out the individuals from the overwhelming crying and weeping, but she could swear each of the plump red apples was calling out, "Mama! Mama!" while the tree sobbed in the background.
Good thoughts on the new job! It always takes a little time to acclimate, but you'll do well.
4643145
I ship Boaty x Docky. I really want to see them tie the knot.
Hey Poshy-Woshy,
I'm afraid to raise my hand
I have something to ask you
'Cause I want to understand
It's not about teaching
It's about what you can do
Hey Poshy-Woshy,
When will we see that story of you
Hey Poshy-Woshy
Hey Poshy-Woshy
Hey Poshy-Woshy
Where's Teach Me Goodness number two