Why Am I Doing This I'm Not a Real Reviewer (Part 3) · 4:09pm Jul 22nd, 2017

Ah, yes. Back again for part three. If you haven't read the previous blogs in this series, you probably should because you will be lost otherwise.

Part one is here and part two is here.

In any case, here I am, looking over Bride of Discord, a story that's surprisingly good at setting up these two with a dynamic that feels like they'd be much better foes than, ah, lovers.

EBride of Discord

Discord returns and will only relieve Equestria of his havoc in exchange for a bride.

DisneyFanatic23 · 65k words · 1,957 59 · 30k views

Seriously, can we get that? A story where Fluttershy goes on an epic quest to defeat Discord in an AU or something? Or where, instead of being kept in an arrangement that's basically an arranged marriage and being meek all the time because she's Fluttershy instead of an actual good reason, she decides to kick some ass instead? Or use her wits?

I mean really, folk tale heroes could be pretty tricky when they set their mind to it, which was better than any Disney princess, who just sat about and sang. And was blonde.

So, quick little review here. I don't like the Fluttercord dynamic in general or this story at all, but I'm willing to read most ships if they're done well and if a story looks neat enough, etc.

But here's a little list to why I don't like Fluttercord in general:

*It's very forced and pandered so, so much. At first, it was fun to see Fluttershy work on reforming Discord, and I didn't mind the just-ship-them or they're-just-friends thing because it wasn't that big then.

*The 'reformee falls in love with reformer' story isn't very well done.

*I really can't buy Discord falling in love that quickly.

*I think that they'd make great roommates or something - they're totally close - but they don't mesh that well romantically. Discord is too bold and overshadows Fluttershy and Flutters is too gentle for this to work that well.

*There's only so much respect between them and Fluttershy only seems to be able to handle Discord's immaturity so well.

*They aren't equals in any way. There's no balance in their relationship and they don't work together on much.

*They don't even have a few things in common to talk about other than mutual friends... which something that friends usually have in common, when there's nothing else, not significant others.

*The whole thing is based on the 'Beauty and the Beast' gimmick instead of just borrowing a bit from it, that's really the entire thing about them.

*They don't add to one another very well. Character development and anything for them becomes very hindered when their relationship becomes romantic.

And that's it for there! Pretty much the same applies to the version of Fluttercord with the following exceptions:

*This set up is the breeding ground for Stockholm's Syndrome.

*Everything is psychological abuse.

*Discord is creepy af.

*Fluttershy is best described as 'submissive' and not much more. Even around her friends, she displays little to no... anything.

*Discord is also literally viewing her in the same way that an abuser would their victim and has enjoyed smashing her confidence.

*This story goes full steam ahead for the fairy tale feel and it constricts the story so much, even though the writing has great overall pacing and flow, aside from the flawed romantic relationship.

*Because of the former, all the parts of the fairy tale that probably should have been left out or reconsidered was exaggerated and thrown in while the ones that would have been interesting to see got left out.

*TRUE LOVE >:(

Now, onto the next three chapters.

Chapter Seven: Can I please have my Dislestia back?

Quick refresher: Fluttershy has sold herself to Discord and is now being shown her castle-prison.

He carried her to the door and opened it up. Fluttershy's eyes widened at the interior. It was like looking at a drawing by M.C. Escher, with stairs leading to nowhere and doors hanging sideways.

*calm inhale*

THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DESCRIBE THINGS IN HORSE FICTION.

*calm exhale*

Discord has gone from a monstrous creature to a sitcom husband telling how beautiful she is already.

...What did I sign up for?

Fluttershy's room is styled as she likes it because Discord is a creep who has been watching her enough to know what kind of interior design she likes.

...Yeah, am I supposed to be sold on this?

Overwhelmed with it all, Fluttershy fainted in his arms. He summoned a daybed and set her down gently. He gazed in triumph at his prize. So innocent, he thought. Well, we'll soon fix that.

N O P E.

This is an E rated story, and yet there's all these creepy implications just thrown in... umm, no.

Not buying it.

Discord also tells Fluttershy how they'll both be kept here, making chaos and alone for all eternity.

Problem: Discord is presumably immortal. Fluttershy isn't. Just how does he expect that to happen when he will live for thousands of years/forever and Fluttershy won't. This is never explained, and I'd honestly like it to be. Is Discord just naive?

Meanwhile, Twilight talks with the princesses, who have been returned.

This line happens:

"His nature is to corrupt what is orderly, not to inflict pain. Some creatures...are not as evil as they seem."

Really? What's there to suggest this in the context of Discord who is perfectly capable of hurting Fluttershy? Just how is corrupting not likely to cause harm? How much does this Celestia know about Discord?

Are they going to take action or start planning?

No, of course not.

It literally says that they're just gonna pray she's alright.

Which isn't going to do much. The comfort Celestia offers Twilight here isn't effective.

Back in the castle, the talk of a wedding... the prospect of a wedding itself... it's all so forced. Discord is perky and all happy and it's weird as hell while he casually discusses Fluttershy being forced to marry him. His character so far hasn't come across that well. It has nothing to do with him being likable - it's just hard to figure out how I'm supposed to be won over by the relationship and him being well-written, because so far I haven't been sold on either.

Discord is suggesting they get married either: the next month, the next week, and even... the next day...

Urgh.

What?

Oh, oh! That isn't even the last of it, Discord suddenly thinks that she's pretty and is showering her with praise and gosh this is so weird and what even how am I supposed to be sold on this ship? Even Fluttershy finds this off-putting, but in a Shrinking Violet way... even more than usual.

Discord also knows what dress size she is. That's not creepy at all... except it is.

"You know? I was honestly hoping you'd be the one to accept my proposal. It was certainly bold of you to do so." She tensed as he placed his hands on her shoulders. "Don't worry, my dear. I shall make you happy. Don't think of this place as a prison. Think of it as a kingdom, where you are the Queen!"

Wait, what? Not only was this destined to be he wanted her all along despite there being no indication that-

WHAT?!

...Also, this makes things even creepier.

Chapter Eight: This is Still Happening

"Apologies, for I have many subjects. It was very inconsiderate of me not to have rid your head of that creature before. But Fluttershy, your friends worry about you. Has he hurt you? The real Discord?"

This is the explanation for why Luna wasn't helping Fluttershy. Okay. She shows up in her dreams to check on Fluttershy and chats with her a bit. It's actually nice to see a character taking action against Discord and accomplishing something.

"I don't know about that, but...he's taking good care of me, and...he said he'd give me anything I desired."
"What about your freedom?"
"Well..."

A gilded cage is still a cage, Fluttershy.

This story has also been completely ignoring the fact that instead of being 'willing' Fluttershy was clearly coerced into this. Seriously, c'mon this isn't that hard to miss.

When Discord pops in next - and again, only a day after Fluttershy has arrived - he's acting like he's something straight out a family sitcom, and I can nearly hear the laugh tracks at this rate. It isn't even being used as a gag so much as just evidence that he's not supposed to be creepy... only it cycles back to make him seem even creepier.

His already shaky characterization and attitude changed - literally - overnight.

Things quickly devolve into them fighting... which isn't promising because out of all the things they're fighting over, it's the relationship.

Hooray.

"But I am your future husband, so get used to my orders!"
"Well, I'm your future wife, so get used to my complaints!"

This almost feels funny, only the subtext of the whole weird 'marriage' makes it feel creepy.

Discord decides to go see Zecora for advice, and she suggests he be kind to Fluttershy, since forced kindness is a good thing to do.

He rolled his eyes. "Alright, so here's the deal. I hear you're good at giving advice. Am I right?" The zebra nodded absent mindedly. "Well, I need it! And if you tell any pony about this, I'll turn you into an acorn to feed to the squirrels!"

Umm.

How about 'no'?

"But only the love of a mare can make you complete, and to win her heart, you must be sweet."

No.

Goddamnit.

It doesn't work like that.

Chapter Nine: Yep, Only Have One Comment Here

Chapter nine has them out on a date before it's established that Discord has nothing better to do throughout the story other than to spend his spare time stalking Flutters.

And there's this bit here: