In Her Blood - Followup · 1:18am Oct 7th, 2012
Whew. Okay, the nail-biting time is over, and In Her Blood is out there. First off, thanks so much for the tidal wave of faves and positive comments, it's hugely appreciated. 
Now, I do have a query to put to everyone. In short, it's this; what's wrong with In Her Blood? Now, the comments have almost all been very positive and encouraging at this point, but I can't get past the fact that In Her Blood has picked up more dislikes in its first two hundred views than A Bluebird's Song got in its first 7000, so, clearly, In Her Blood is an inferior piece of writing, with some pretty serious flaws.
Please, and I can't stress this enough, please don't think I'm bemoaning the dislikes. Quite the opposite, in fact. If a lot more people than usual dislike my work, then that's nobody's fault but my own, and is a pretty good indicator that my work isn't as good as it should be at the moment. This blog is not a moan-fest; it's a request for constructive feedback and criticism. A simple dislike tells me nothing other than there's a problem that needs to be addressed, which is admittedly valuable in its own right, whereas a short comment explaining why the story's not very good is worth its weight in gold.
Ultimately, my problem is this: the response to In Her Blood has proven to me that, at present, I'm moving backwards as a writer, which I absolutely don't want. Now, it's possible that whatever's the matter with Chapter 1 was a glitch of some description, and in the later chapters I'll get my act together. But, I would hugely appreciate it if I could be told exactly what's up with Chapter 1, because In Her Blood has already lost me four watchers, and if it continues the way it's going more will doubtless follow.
The second chapter's up, as of about five minutes ago, so obviously I'll have to wait and see how it's received.
Any feedback at this point is hugely appreciated; at this moment, as our mutual friend once said: "I just don't know what went wrong."
Have a Fluttershy: 
~Ardensfax
Well, I didn't even read In Her Blood, but I should probably explain why. The main thing that kept me from reading is that, It didn't interest me, at all. When I read over its details, I couldn't help but say to myself, 'I know it'll be good if I give it some time, but I'm just not interested.' I'm not saying every story needs some big hook to keep me interested, and often times I'm interested in a story simply because of the writing style, not because anything that big is happening. I just couldn't get into it, and that leads me to my other reason, it felt too ambitious. If this were a shorter, maybe 3 or 4 chapter romance story, I probably would have read it, but I just felt to overwhelmed by the concept of getting into a story that felt so.... big. Maybe this isn't hat you were looking for, or hat I'm saying isn't exactly what you were trying to find out, but I just want to help. You are an amazing author sir, and I wish only to try and help by giving my personal opinion.
I think you can chalk up at least a couple dislikes to folks who either don't like Trixie (fairly common, although I like her) or are mad that the protagonist is a side-character (not as likely, but there 'are mane 6 only' people out there).
Of course one group that may have been butt hurt is the people who wanted a direct sequel to Bluebird.
Just to note, don't listen to those people! I think what you're doing is great. And you should only write what you want to write.
A couple possible reasons jump out at me:
The most obvious is that TrixieShy is a far less popular ship than TwiDash. If people started watching you for solely for well-written
then they just won't be interested in this story.
It could also be MSPA Syndrome. When Andrew Hussie started Homestuck, it was at the very granular level of one character exploring his house and coming to term with the 'mechanics' of a game. This slow pace, coming right on top of the epic madcap conclusion to his last comic Problem Sleuth, got a bunch of people pissed off and raging at how MSPA was dead. As it happens, Bluebird is my favorite story on this site, and your next epic started off with a single character in basically a chapter long soliloquy. I can deal with the fact that a good long story often needs a slow buildup, but then, I also didn't dislike In Her Blood...
Probably though, it's all this and more! For my part, I thought it was well-written and enjoyable, and can't wait to see what comes next; can't really ask for too much more than that!
I haven't read chapter two yet (hadn't seen it yet, I usually roll with mature off on my tablet since I bring it to work) but I thought chapter one was really quite good. It was probably just people who don't like Trixie or don't like what you're doing with her character so far or don't like the mature tag or something like that.
I'll be sure to leave a comment on chapter two and let you know if anything jumps out at me.
i dont think any of your follows dislike your story so asking here is a waste
People or dont like trixie or dont like trixshy or just a bunch of trolls,
Have a Fluttershy: //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
I also think the one factor that might make sense would be "heavy sexual content" that is going to appear later on in the story. Some people really dislike clop-fiction or anything strongly hinted at sex. so the dramatic change from a teen to mature story could have netted you some dislike
Some people just like to downvote anything mature. Maybe some people don't like Fluttershy/Trixie? Who really knows? I don't see anything wrong with it.
Well, nothing wrong with this one, if you ask me, I totally mean it. Let me say something. It may be unpleasant for somepony out there - readers and writers both - but that's an undeniable truth. There are somepony who gonna dislike your work without ever reading it. "Oh, Trixie! I hate her! dislike..." Or: "Trixie and Shy - what an awful paring! RainbowShy (RariShy/TwiliShy/Insert-Your-Favourite-Mare-Name-Here-Shy is the best! Dislike!" Et cetera, you've got the point. Not to mention those "purists" who dislikes 18+ fiction in general.
Without. Ever. Reading. It.
Buck them.
I just don't know how many of these "dislikers" spoiled the "Blood" rating - but I'm sure there were some. So, don't you even pay attention to those who dislike your story without explanation. Of course, everypony is free to like or dislike something for some reasons - but it's okay. it's not okay not to care to explain why - and dislike something without even trying to read it!
Better think of those who liked it - and have some patience to see the reaction to the whole story - i know lots of pony do not resd the unfinished works so you'll get the whole picture when they're done reading it from the first chapter to the last. And don't stop, do what you want to and feel free to write and create. Be brave, be strong, be yourself.
One reason the first chapter is heavy to come into is that Trixie is no pony that you like from the beginning. Also you describe her in a way that destroys the viewpoint of I assume most bronies. I believe the dislikes are just a reaction to either Trixie alone, Trixieshy and or mature rating.
I personally love the writing in the second chapter and believe you improved since Bluebird. At least the second chapter was a joy to read again.
The major problem with chapter 1 is that there isn`t a lot of action. It is just Trixie as a character and a bit of her back story, which is very important. If you want to write a story with a character, that has so obvious flaws you need to make her shine in a better light before people will accept her as one of the main characters, It simply needs time to build up a story and some people didn`t get this. ( To rate a story before reaching the second chapter is kind of unfair too, just stop reading if you don`t like it but you can only rate something you finished...)
I wouldn`t think too much about these dislikes, as most of them are either trolls or just just unfair. Their rating has most proably nothing to do with writing and style.
Thanks a lot for the reassurance, guys. You're awesome!
I'm feeling way better about the whole thing now, and I must admit I'm a fair bit happier with chapter 2 as a piece of writing generally.
I know what a lot of you mean about the slow buildup, I must admit it worried me as well, and I considered adding a few more interesting events into chapter one, such as a wolf attack or something along those lines, but in the end it just felt tacked-on for no good reason, so I stuck with the soliloquizing! I guess the M-rating and inclusion of Trixie were always going to knock the rating down a little, so I'm probably being silly.
Next chapter should be up soon enough, at any rate!
Thanks again, everyone!
412685
I like the slow build up that is occurring and feel you don't really need to alter the story at all from were/how it is currently going. I obviously wish there were more chapters now now now but that's about it. : )
Oh, and though for some random reason this story may have caused you to lose a few watchers, it will gain you others as well. I didn't start watching you till reading this after all.