Fic recs, May 12th! · 12:26pm May 12th, 2017
Kinda cuttin' those blogs close, there. <.< No news today, but you can head below for two really long reviews. That second one, by the way, I read entirely on my phone while walking around town. This is good! I'm getting active again! :D And since it went so well, I think phone walk time will be used to grind through all the novel-plus length fics I've had stacking up over the years. Excelsior. >:V
H: 1 R: 2 C: 2 V: 0 N: 1
Seven Year Twitch by Scarheart
Genre: Random Comedy
Another year, another list that Celestia fails to find her name on.
So there are three things to know about this fic. Number one, it's a meta-comedy about Celestia finding out she's not going to have an episode in season 7, filled with enough referential jokes to choke a cat. This is unfortunate in light of this, which, admittedly, was announced a week after this fic was released, but still, this is the world we live in. Number two, it's another fic about how much Celestia sucks, and I'm tired of those. Number three, it features "Big" Jim Miller as a character. I do not, nor will I ever, condone writing fanfiction about real, living people, especially not show staff. And it's unfortunate, because there are at least a few good jokes in here, but mostly it's a mess of references and off-character humor that I just never found funny.
Not Recommended
Night Guards by Raugos
Reading (part 1) by lieilengi
Genre: Historical Drama
A thousand years ago, when Luna became Nightmare Moon, she had the help of two good friends.
This is an interesting piece, in that it purports to explain why Luna's guards look bat-like, and ends up focusing on explaining a whole lot more than just that. I mean, the answer to the first question is simple and revealed in the first chapter: Nightmare Moon transformed them, done. Rather, this takes a look at what the brief rule of Nightmare Moon looked like, and how a whole bunch of historical canon up through at least Hearth's Warming Eve could have tied together.
But first, the bad stuff: this story is too long. D: Rare was the scene that felt draggy in the moment, but frequently, I would find myself coming out of a scene break with the thought of, "That could have been so much shorter." The problem, if there is a single problem to be blamed, I would chalk up to devotion to detail. I made note of the scene at the start of chapter 6, which involves describing being frozen solid in extreme detail, as indicative of this problem. Also lengthening the story were scenes of characters just standing around talking about stuff until they ran out of things to talk about. (For another example, our protagonists arguing with the spirit of Discord over whether they can kick his statue in the ghoulies. Not a good decision, narrative-wise.)
This may lead into my second problem with the story: I never once found myself excited by it. Toward the end, I was all but dreading every opportunity to launch back into the audiobook. Oh, plenty in this story is interesting: the writing is good, the characters are memorable. But that lack of excitement struck me as a definite downside, and I want to be up-front about it. If you're interested in tackling this story, you'll have to work to get to the good stuff.
With that out of the way, let's talk about what did work. Our protagonists, Hammer and Anvil, are a perfect odd couple: Hammer is stoic, silent and dutiful, while Anvil is chatty, soft-hearted and something of an idiot, likely why he's also fairly brave. Anvil is our POV character for most of the story, and though he sometimes blends into the background (and I grew rather tired of hearing "Hayseed!"), his is a good perspective to see the story from. Their rapport is frequently a highlight of the piece, as is Anvil's insight into Luna's condition. In fact, him being able to see "the real Luna" beneath Nightmare Moon's exterior early on is something that really endeared him to me. Together, they make the decision not to abandon their princess and friend, despite the harm she causes to all of Equestria.
That's definitely one of the more interesting parts of this story: it's from the bad guys' perspective. I mean, the two guards are hardly evil; even Hammer's dutifulness is tempered by pragmatism when things start getting too real. But there's a distinct effort to avoid making Nightmare Moon cartoonishly evil. Heck, there's a distinct effort made to avoid being grim and serious; the first scene occurs mere minutes before we get Nightmare Moons, and Luna is laughing with her friends! That tiny effort at natural humor is likely what helped this not be a slog. And I mean, Luna as Nightmare Moon is delusional, and terribly naive, but if she weren't, she wouldn't have fallen in the first place, would she? So just like the OCs, Luna is written quite well, as is Celestia. Of further note is Celestia's student, Summer Cloud, another tragic figure who's something of a master manipulator in her own right, as well as a love interest for Anvil.
The plot is likewise good, for all that the reader will know the broad strokes thereof. There are plenty of surprises, though: not one, but two showdowns between Celestia and NMM, the second even more epic than the first, and a small mystery about some unseasonably cold weather, which Nightmare can't figure out until it's too late. (I was very pleased by that development! Also by the fact that Hammer and Anvil are almost consistently compared to dragons and not bats.) Discord's role is… odd; I had to question the timeline a bit, though I often found myself a little sparse on details, so that might be neither here nor there. There's a lot of good action and some convoluted twists, is what I'm saying.
In all, for all the systemic flaws in this piece, there's plenty of good to balance them out. If you can handle the length, you'll find yourself with a well-earned happy ending. :) Of course, there are a couple bonus chapters, too, which might be worth skipping. The first is about Nightmare Night, and while it wasn't as bad as I'd feared — i.e., "Luna Eclipsed from the guards' perspective" — the tale of Hammer and Anvil going to Ponyville and drinking with Berry Punch and Derpy's brother (Hugh Jelly by another name???) wasn't exactly what I was looking for. The second was about them going to see Minuette since they hadn't brushed their teeth in over a thousand years, and it's so slice-of-lifey after all the drama and adventure that I really had to wonder what the point was. The last is apparently spoilers for another story of Raugos's, and I'll admit I skipped it. c.c I think I was satisfied with the main story, is what I'm saying.
Recommended for Fans of Historical Pieces
Autophobia by Ice Star
Reading by Lotus Moon
Genre: Poem/Historical
I've read a lot of poetry on this site, but I don't think I've seen a long-form free-verse poem like this before. By that alone, this is worth the read. Though with that said, this won't be for everyone. First, the poetic form involves a distinct economy of words, and the reader will need to pay close attention to get everything out of it. Second, it is not kind to any of its characters. Luna is too rebellious for her own good, Star Swirl is surprisingly abusive and domineering, and Celestia is too weak to recognize he's wrong, so she just follows him, to the doom of herself and her sister. But that also means it stands out from the myriad of fics about Celestia being sad because she banished Luna. A couple dives into in-universe prose keep the format from growing stale, and provide some of the most heart-wrenching moments, not to mention a great description of depression. This is, again, not for everyone, but if you're into emotional historical drama, I can't think of a better way to present it.
Recommended
Nope. I'm Done. by RarityEQM
Reading by Scribbler, Gina M and DracKeagan
Genre: Comedy
Life with Twilight and Trixie is hell, and Spike's had about enough.
Reviewers, myself included, will often complain about "one-joke comedies", stories that take a single punchline and drag it out ad infinitum. This piece is how you do a one-joke fic well. It doesn't overstay its welcome, there's plenty of goofy, entertaining magical shenanigans in the background, and the punchline was a lot of fun. I had many a laugh listening to this. :D OH GOD AND I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE THERE WERE PICTURES XD
Recommended
Captured by zoddtheimmortalone
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Genre: Anthro Femdom
Maretropolis's only human resident finds himself kidnapped by its most notorious super ciminal, for 'fun'.
I feel kind of bad. I had to laugh at this story's porno-grade dialogue, but it's about a guy getting raped by anthro Mane-iac until he likes it, and rape isn't funny when it's being done to a guy. :B I mean, it's someone's fetish, but this is just weird as wish-fulfillment goes. I do have to give it credit for at least one thing: "sucked into a comic book" is a completely valid way to get a human character into this situation. Well, and "anthro Mane-iac with big boobs" is kind of totally my thing. c.c; If the rape angle doesn't bother you, this is otherwise just your average clopfic.
Recommended If You're Into That
Lost Time by bookplayer
Genre: Romance/Time Loops/Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash just wanted her first date with Applejack to get here faster. Next thing she knows, it's fifteen years later, they've been married over a decade, and she's got three kids.
I cannot praise this story highly enough. Ironically, I also probably won't be able to unpack it properly, but let's give it a shot here. First, that premise: holy shit, that's fantastic. No one writes the mane cast quite as well as bookplayer, and this maybe-time-travel setup allowed her to explore the dynamics of relationships and the way time tempers the youthful spirit. This is, as I put it to myself, a very "grown-up" fic: it's very focused on the minutiae of a relationship, the meaning of marriage, the full weight of responsibility that having kids requires of a person. You just do not see people writing fanfics about that, and it's the reason I love this as much as I do. This is what I want to see out of slice of life fics (and this doesn't even have that tag!)
And my god, reading this was really hard sometimes. I mean, you've got this monumental accident that's shattered the lives of a whole bunch of ponies. Absolutely no one is in a good place here. Rainbow has to put up with relationships and unfair expectations she never agreed to; the kids are trying to understand why Mommy is acting weird; her friends, by contrast, are almost amusing with how readily they adjust; I mean, you figure they're seen some shit; and then there's Applejack, trying to hold her family together while keeping up a strong face. She even says at some point that she's lost her wife, and that's more or less entirely true. But this is a story about carrying on after dramatic change, and that's exactly what happens. It's not easy, it's not fair, and no one just up and accepts it immediately, but eventually, they have to, because there's nothing else to be done.
It's worth noting that the time loops thing is kind of a mistag. I mean, it's a tantalizing mystery running underneath all the home-life and relationship stuff, but it's very clearly not the focus of the story. The one criticism I have of this piece is that the explanation is not exactly… one? It was convoluted and leaves me with at least one big question. But again, not the focus.
That said, I know some people are going to turn their noses up at the Romance tag. Those people are foolish; I mean, you have to really want to not read good writing if you're going to pass this story up. I'm talking whipping yourself at night with barbed hooks levels of self-injury, here. This is almost equal parts an exploration of why AJ and Rainbow Dash wouldn't work as a couple as why they would. It does a good job explaining what they see in each other, and moreover, by showing them in an established relationship with large holes left for AJ to stumble around, it demonstrates how they work together as a unit. Okay, to be fair, this may have more appeal for older fans than for the younger sort. I mean, if you're just interested in shipping as a race to a kiss, you may find this a tad disappointing in that regard. But you'll also learn a hell of a lot about what romance should look like, so get yourself educated, son! >:B
Cuz I mean, this is full of adorable foals. :B Who can pass that up? I was floored by all three of AJ and Dash's kids (though I want to know how they had them!) Autumn Leaf is the primary standout, a smart and serious colt on the cusp of getting his cutie mark, held back only by his own sense of inadequacy. He's the one I felt the most for, because it's obvious how much he dotes on his mom, and he's astute enough to know something's wrong with her, if not what. Cider Splash was a bundle of joy, scatterbrained in the way only a five-year-old can be and just smart enough to know how to wheedle more desserts out of both her moms. Orchard Sky, being the baby, tended to just be 'the baby', something needing attention lest he get into trouble on his own (because pegasus foals, yeesh, how do pony parents survive?), but even he comes into his own while bonding with Tank and Spike.
Of course, there's some seriously pleb-tier ships in here I mean Cheerimac and CheesePie who does that The point being, this is a really phenomenal piece, a true tour-de-force of bookplayer's writing ability. If you read one shipfic in your life — and calling this a 'shipfic' is really doing it a disservice — make sure it's this one.
Highly Recommended: Top Fifteen
I'm glad you enjoyed Lost Time so much! I agree that the time loop thing does throw a bit of a wrench in at the end. I'm curious about your question, though.
As for how they had the foals, I'll spoiler this to protect headcanons of people who like their own. AJ says early on that she had Leaf and Cider, and Dash had Sky, but Dash is their mom, no question. The implication I was going for was that they all had fathers, whether through modern or magical artificial insemination or the old fashioned way, depending on your headcanon of Equestria. Cider and Leaf aren't genetically Dash's, and Sky isn't genetically AJs (at least not directly, you can also headcanon their dads. There are more than enough Apples around to be Sky's father, and at least Cider's father was probably a pegasus) but they were born in AJ and Dash's marriage and AJ and Dash have never considered them anything but both of theirs.
4529533
Ah, okay. Genetics weren't the focus of the story, so not knowing for sure doesn't really impact it one way or another.
Okay, so... What I get from the explanation is that future Dash absolutely wrecks herself in that crash, like, whisk to the skull, she's dead. The only reason she's up walking and talking
and kissingis that the zap apple magic somehow imprinted her mind from fifteen years ago when she was messing with it? And so that gets implanted in what's left of her mind, and that's where she is....Actually, my question was going to be, "Who was dating AJ all that time?" but the answer is Rainbow. I mean, that's basically just a copy-paste job walking around in her body now, yeah? Although I guess then the question becomes "Why was Rainbow acting so different back then?" and that one I can't come up with an adequate answer for. I was expecting, toward the end of the story, for Twilight to send her back to the moment directly after her first crash, and those four days spent fifteen years in the future would tell her what she needs to know to properly woo Applejack. That does leave the question of "Don't tell AJ", but I felt in the moment like maybe Dash was making too big a deal out of it. That said, I can't say the resolution is anything but satisfying, and really follows through on the hard-hitting "there are no easy answers" tack the rest of the story took, so it was a good way to go. :)
4529546
There are three sections that talk about that first date: The first conversation with Twilight, AJ and Dash talking in Yesterday and Today, and Dash's letter to AJ from when she was a Wonderbolt. Putting those together, the picture is that Dash crashed pretty bad that first time around and hung around with AJ, probably banged up. When they went on their date, at first Dash was just trying to get laid, and took her to the hilltop for that purpose. While they were there, Dash started trying to talk herself up, but as the night went on it kind of slipped, and they ended up having a serious conversation about what they wanted in life and why, and and their fears about those things. AJ and Dash both have similar needs and fears underneath: they both need to be seen by other ponies as strong and worthy of respect and their own pride, and as much as they try to project that they're afraid other ponies will see through it. It was when the zap apple sign came -- not on time -- that Dash made her promise that she'd mess up, but she's always come through in the end. So, really, they just had a really good date, let their guards down, and and came to understand a little better what the other needed and see each other in a different light.
If you look at the letter, which would be from after they were married but before the kids, Dash didn't do a 180 there or anything -- she still cheated at Scrabble and blamed the dog when she ate AJ's cookies, and she never told AJ about the zap apples -- but she had a deeper appreciation of AJ that led her to do more to take care of her. (Leaving the Wonderbolts for the family was something else entirely; she wanted the kids so AJ could have a family, intending to stay a Wonderbolt. But a lot of times even people who don't like kids find their own kids are pretty awesome, and when Dash thinks something is pretty awesome she goes all out.)
But i thought OoC humor was one of your favorite things, PP! Now what will I do with my upcoming fic where Celestia keeps taking Twilight out for deep talks on the subjects of friendship and benevolence, only to push her down hills and/or sets of stairs? And then poop on her. From the sky.
4529739
You should definitely do that, though. :B
4529739 ...Speaking as someone who entirely doesn't get the point of OoC humor, I need this fic so bad.
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Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Ouch...the review honestly hurts...
I wish people would understand there is a difference between being nice and being weak. The whole premise was written on Celestia being too nice.
*sigh*
Other than that, I have no problems with your opinion on my story. A lot of what you said is true, though I do believe the upcoming episode is going to be a Starlight episode. Luna and Celestia are just going to be setup pieces for the story.
But, we'll have to actually see the episode to know for sure.
Thank you for the review. It is appreciated!