My First Comission Story Is Up! · 1:12am Mar 26th, 2017
This is either the start of a new writing era for me, or a tragic, failed experiment. We'll know soon, one way or the other.
A big thank you to my patreon supporters, Dawnpaladin and Equestrian Sen! Mr. Sen commissioned a short story from me based around the following premise: "Too much information early on can cause decision paralysis. After ponies invent the internet or something like it, there's so much information about what jobs ponies can do, that many of them don't get their cutie marks until quite late in life."
I struggled quite a bit with that concept. More than I expected. The final result mutated quite a bit from its original conception. But, I think the end result is good.
Thanks, E.S. Hope you enjoy it. 
Drama
When a pony named Ruby Rails is replaced by a mysterious doppleganger, it's up to Twilight to uncover the truth!
But the more she digs, the more she hopes it turns out to be a changeling plot.
Those are some big crotch tits
your hip circles resemble enormous crotchtitties
I did. I largely agree with TD's comments, though you did something with Ruby Rails that I find fascinating. For all Ruby wanted to change, the one thing she couldn't get away from was her name.
Also, I see what you did there regarding the how-to-conclude-stories thing
. I think in this case, too much of the action ended up happening off-screen. The goal is to make the story about defining the thing that drives the main character. The Belonging Herd states that the main character went through that change, but we only get it from the perspective of someone that has gone through the realization already. It's like trying to define a shape by stating just some things on the inside. The failures the main character goes through on route to reaching the conclusion I think are important for defining the outside/non-resolved perspective.
So as a fic, it's okay. As an experiment, I loved it.
4472279
Aha~! It wasn't just me!
4472288
Follow-up to "As an experiment, I loved it".
I see what you were going for, by the way. Ruby Rails is feeling like her role isn't quite as meaningful anymore as it used to be. She decides to do something spontaneous. That thing has lasting consequences for a number of other ponies. One of them decides to write back, and that message itself has lasting consequences for Ruby. Ruby comes to a realization that fundamentally changes how she views herself. That change has a large impact on other ponies like her, including Twilight. The cycle goes on, perhaps becoming more meta with every iteration.
The internet doesn't just throw confusion into the mix. It's the thing that lets ponies like Ruby Rails be catalysts for so much change.
There are probably half a dozen stories you can write in this setting. You chose to write about the one in the middle of it all, and I'm glad you did. There's a ton going on in that vortex. One thing I find really valuable in a story like this is that it's a breeding ground for theories on what stops a story from being as impactful for readers as it is for the writer. There's clearly a large story behind what was written, it is complex, and it contains really good ideas, yet it's incredibly difficult to write about. So what is it that makes that vortex difficult to write about, and what does that say about writing more complex and impactful stories?
I do want to keep exploring these ideas, and I think you're one of the best, if not the best, person to try them out, but I get that present-day humans still have these weird feeling things. I'll try to give future commissions a more sane scope.