Chicken army and discussing a mother's need to strangle her offspring · 5:08pm Feb 5th, 2017
Sore, but full of optimism for a bright, wonderful day, Twilight Sparkle lifted up her glass of apple juice and took a long, unprincessly drink. She had been pummeled and battered the night before by the storm, but she had also had a wonderful time. With her magic being a little unpredictable, she hadn’t been able to just cast a spell to banish the storm, no, she had to go about it the hard way, with muscle and sinew.
She felt better for it.
Rainbow Dash had flown right into the swirling heart of the seething vortex with her, along with an entire wing of brave, fearless pegasus ponies, and together, they dismantled the storm before it did any real damage to the town. Now, today was going to be a beautiful sunshiny day, a perfect day, and Twilight was looking forward to the opening ceremony.
Body jerking, Twilight suffered a shiver of excitement as she thought about the chunks of hail and seeing lightning flash inside of the tornado as it formed. There was a pleasing tension in her guts and the muscles of her stomach tightened. Twilight enjoyed doing battle with storms, and as the years passed, she became more and more in tune with her pegasus pony and earth pony parts.
The parts of her that were a pegasus pony were a scrapper with a need for violence.
Chewing, Rainbow Dash elbowed Twilight and with a knowing wink, she said, “Feels good, don’t it?”
Lowering her glass, Twilight nodded. It did, indeed, feel good. She was bruised, battered, covered in lumps, and she felt great. She looked atrocious though, but she didn’t care. Last night, she had been awesome, even if she had tripped trying to take flight from the window. She would never say it aloud, but this vacation trip was worth it just from fighting the tornado.
“Ceremony starts at high noon and we need to all be there for Twilight,” Applejack said to everypony around the table. “So don’t go getting lost or distracted, or I’m guessing you’ll be getting yourself a lecture from Fluttermom.”
“Applejack—”
“I didn’t mean anything buy it.” Applejack lifted up her hoof and tried to look apologetic as possible.
Sighing, Fluttershy deflated a little bit and hunched over the table. “Oh, I love my little charges so much, I love foalsitting, and I love teaching them about animals, but I need time away from them.” The mare’s eyes narrowed and when she continued, her voice changed, becoming huskier and gritty. “They wear on my last nerve, sometimes, and intentionally try my patience to see if they can get a reaction out of me. Urgh.”
“Spa,” Rarity said, saying as though it was somehow a magical cure all for everything. “You and I are going to the spa so we can sort ourselves out. My nerves are frazzled too.”
“Flutters, every mother needs a break, and I done reckon foalsitters too.” Applejack pushed her empty plate away and leaned over the table to have a better angle to look Fluttershy in the eye. “I love my two little fillies… I do… but I get sick of looking at them sometimes. They wear down my patience something awful. I just get fed up with the little cusses and then I gots to get away from the little cuss-headed pains in my plot before I do something I regret.” Blinking, Applejack ignored the shocked looks on the faces of her friends. “Like now. I’m here, they’re at home, and I can blow off some steam. When I go home once all of this is done, I’ll be a better mom and I won’t constantly be thinking about throttling the little imps or tying them up with some rope.”
“Oh… oh… oh my…” Fluttershy stammered as her ears fell limp against the sides of her face. “You wouldn’t believe some of the thoughts that go through my head when they misbehave. I thought there was something wrong with me.”
“Eenope.” Applejack grabbed the bright orange earthenware pitcher and poured herself another glass of apple juice. “It’s normal to want to strangle the little scamps.”
Closing her eyes, Fluttershy sighed. “Oh, that’s a relief.”
“Do I…” Sumac paused for a moment, looking a bit hesitant, and his ears twitched. He swallowed, then tried again. “Do I make you feel this way?”
“Yes!” said every mare present at the table all at once.
The colt’s mouth fell open.
“Never, ever have I met a more curious foal, not even myself.”
“Twilight, I—”
“Pulling apart things that don’t need no pulling apart to see how they work!”
“Applejack, I can explain—”
“Attempting to weaponise music with Vinyl Scratch,” Rarity said as she stirred her coffee. “All of Ponyville had to get their ears checked.” Looking sour, Rarity clucked her tongue a few times as Fluttershy inhaled.
“Mind controlling a chicken army!”
“Fluttershy, that would’ve worked if I—”
“Hey, credit where credit is due, those chickens did eat a lot of bugs before everything went wrong.”
Every adult present turned and looked at Pinkie Pie. Eyelids and ears twitched. The corners of mouths ticced. Sumac slumped down in his chair and Pinkie Pie, sitting beside him, wrapped a foreleg over his shoulders. In bold defiance, Pinkie Pie stared down her friends with a courageous smile on her muzzle.
“He gets a free pass for the chicken army, that was epic.”
This should be up sometime later today, it has been getting extensive re-writing to make it feel a bit more light-hearted.
This is me to a T. My favourite drink is apple juice. I'll make cartons of it disappear and my friends are always like "wtf dlafrferg"
Kill them first, Sumac, before they get you!
4410352
Umm... Sumac isn't that sort. Sorry.
by
All them noodle incidents...
I thought Vinyl had already weaponized music. maybe I am thinking of other stories where she has a bass canon.. No surprise with Twilight drinking Apple Juice like that almost surprised its not milk.
Kudz these snippets are so fun so many potential Noodle Incidents. i feel sorry for Sumac suddenly finding alot of the mares he's looked up to occasionally wants to strangle him.
4410354 4410352 How about we get Flicker in here other than the fact they aren't rats.
I MUST SEE THE CHICKEN ARMY! I am sure it will be as hilarious as one fic where Discord attacked the Caribou with his Giant Fire Breathing Cock... And I mean the Male chicken kind.
Sumac Apple and The Clucking Contingent. Or maybe Poultry Platoon.
4410354 He is the kind to take their advice, though. He'll eventually come around to being as vile as they are.
4410402
Yeah, sorry, this is not a conversation I'm willing to have.
4410407 Tough. You're the one writing stories about these reprobates, their misadventures, and the slow rot they cause in the people around them.
4410409
Goodbye. We're done.
........... I have had an idea for a fanfic and the finale includes PRincess luna summoning Vinyl Scratch using shadowy magic, and then helping to power the magically fueled music system Vinyl had invented, which had accidentally blasted Celestia through several tents earlier in the story.