Random Ramblings CXXV · 7:25am Jan 21st, 2017
IN WHICH I DEAL WITH MINOR LOSS
Well, Orangeglow didn't make nearly the impact I hoped it would. I lost a couple of followers over it -- one of whom I assume is my downvote fairy, leaving their nasty red mark without a word before fecking off (of course I've done that too, so who am I to judge?). This is the second story of mine in a row to get basically no reception, which is disappointing to say the least. Is my writing really that boring?
Well, I'm pretty sure my next story will get noticed. I'm working on two right now, and both feature… Depressed Sunset Shimmer!!™, which is apparently the only thing I'm capable of writing. More specifically, during a rather severe downturn a couple of days ago, I started writing a little interlude set between Highs & Lows and Lows & Highs. It might actually be heavier than L&H. In addition, I've FINALLY started the Anon-A-Miss linked story I've had planned for over a year. The prologue is ready to go and I've moved on to character development. It may be slow going because I want to get the pacing just right. You won't see it until I have at least a few chapters ready to go.
And now, as promised, below the jump is the first draft of "Orangeglow", originally just an expanded version of the chapter in "Mayor's Break Time". I think redoing it from scratch was the right move. Y'know what they say: Show Don't Tell. I can bitch about Orangeglow all I want, but the reader won't care unless they SEE him being an ass.
This has not been touched since I abandoned it two weeks ago.
"I… I got here… as fast as I… could," Spike barely said through his laboured breath as he reached the landing on the top floor of City Hall.
Raven, the mayor's personal secretary, was seated at her writing desk as usual, an irritated expression on her face. Clearly she was not having a good day and did not want to be bothered by anyone, especially not the baby dragon standing before her. Fortunately for both of them, Spike wasn't there to see her. Instead, he walked past the desk to Apple Bloom, who was cowering in the corner in front of the closed door to the mayor's office. She looked very much worse for wear – mane dishevelled, eyes baggy and bloodshot, and legs bruised.
"Oh Spike, thank Celestia ya came. Ah'm 'bout at mah wit's end here," Apple Bloom said with a sigh of relief, though in an even thicker accent than normal, likely due to her obvious fatigue.
"What happened to you? You look like you haven't slept in days," said Spike, concerned for his filly friend's well-being.
"Ah haven't," Apple Bloom confirmed. "Couple nights ago, the Mayor called me over and said Ah needed to make mah 'happy juice', as much as Ah could as quick as Ah could. Ah got Sweetie an' Scoots ta help at first but they had ta go home after awhile so Ah've been distillin' ever since. Ah'm exhausted."
Spike nodded tersely as he pursed his lips. "I see. What on earth would she need that much moonshine for?"
"Dunno," Apple Bloom said truthfully, "But Ah tell ya what, Ah cain't do this anymore without some sleep. An' maybe a few extra bits fer mah troubles. Ah came here ta talk ta the mayor but she locked the door an' was cursin' up a real storm. That's why Ah called ya; Ah though ya might could talk some sense into her."
"Well, I'll see what I can do. If she's in a mood, though, I can't promise anything," Spike said as he helped Apple Bloom to stand.
Tentatively, Spike balled his fist and carefully knocked on the closed door labelled "Mayor's Office", tapping out a short rhythm which was the code to let the mayor know it was him. After an interminable two minutes, during which they heard several things in the office crash, accompanied by more cursing, the door slowly opened.
Spike and Apple Bloom were immediately taken aback by the onslaught of smell wafting out of the office. While Apple Bloom was unaffected – as the distiller, she had become used to it – Spike resisted the urge to faint and/or puke.
"What's going on, Mayor?" Spike asked, his tone equal parts concerned and miffed.
"Izz ovverr," Mayor Meyer Mare slurred, dejected.
Apple Bloom and Spike looked at each other, not getting it. "What's that?" Apple Bloom asked.
Mayor Mare oozed out of her chair and carefully but slowly staggered over to them. Once she had closed in to about a yard – the minimum distance from which Spike could stay conscious – she began to speak, at a deliberate pace just to make sure her words were as clear as could be.
"I didn't think she would do it, but she did," the mayor said. "Princess Celestia's gone and made Orangeglow Equestria's new prime minister. He takes the sash today at noon at a big ceremony in Canterlot."
Spike tilted his head at her, not understanding the import. "So?"
"So! Orangeglow is a moron! The worst pony she could've possibly chosen to lead the kingdom!" groused the mayor.
"I dunno 'bout that. I mean, Sweetie Belle's family seems ta like him just fine," Apple Bloom countered with a shrug.
That caused the mayor to roll her eyes so hard she nearly fell over. "Of course they would, because they're Unicorn supremacists. Or greedy. Or just idiots; we all know none of that lot exactly excelled in school."
Apple Bloom barely resisted the urge to kick her financial benefactor in the face. Spike jumped in to deflect. "Mayor, could you please explain?"
"Well," she began, "up to now, the Celestial Senate has always had more than its fair share of members trying to shift the government to favour their race over the other two. Until now, Princess Celestia has been able to play these factions off each other and just rule by herself. But now…"
"Now?" Spike and Apple Bloom prompted.
"Orangeglow is a Unicorn by birth, but he has no real magical talent, so he was always rejected by his peers. That plus his being from Manehattan meant the Canterlot Nobility never wanted to have anything to do with him. Actually, Manehattan itself doesn't want anything to do with him either. Still, he got just enough support from just the right parts of the kingdom that Princess Celestia must have felt he had a mandate to lead her government."
"Does he?" asked Spike.
"Not exactly," the mayor replied. "Personally, I wish our Princess would go back to micromanaging everything like she used to. But, ever since Princess Luna came back, Celestia has been much more amenable to novel ideas. Like that stupid election we had here two years ago."
"But that was Twilight's idea," Spike corrected.
"And I think the idea's a good one! Just… Ponyville wasn't quite ready for it and… the ponies running… kinda stunk," Apple Bloom interjected, at first earnestly but increasingly unsure as she realized what she was saying and to whom.
Mayor Mare rolled her eyes and hiccuped.
Apple Bloom quickly attempted to salvage her hide. "I… I'm sorry, Mayor! I didn't mean that you stunk. Yer probably the best mayor Ponyville's had since… uh… Actually, 'cause you've been mayor since before I was born, I don't really have any other point of reference."
"No, it's okay, Apple Bloom," Mayor Mare assured her. "I do stink. Why do you think I lost the election to Granny bucking Smith? Even my own secretary wishes she hadn't given the job back to me. Face it; my days are numbered."
"Why is that?" Spike wondered aloud.
"I lodged a formal complaint with the palace against Orangeglow because of his stance on relations with the gryphons and dragons – he wants to bring back official discrimination against both – and I know he'll retaliate against me. Most ponies in this town hate me, so I can't count on support. I'm alone on this."
Apple Bloom rubbed her chin in contemplation.
I didn't give it a down vote, was about to though.
Trump being elected is one of the most divisive issues around to write about and nothing destroys friendships quicker then talking about politics or playing Monopoly.
To add to that, I felt it was rather messy and more then a little unclear in where it wanted to go. Admittedly I didn't read it through completely, I got about halfway before I just couldn't stand to finish it.
I do wish you luck with your future writting endevours.
Still a follower,
Lavender.
4390368
That's a fair criticism, and I appreciate your taking the time to tell me. My stories tend to be frontloaded. Honestly, I wasn't sure where I was going with the short until the halfway point where Orangeglow actually appears. I probably could have abridged the conversation at the beginning, especially as it's mostly Celestia spouting Poli-Sci theory.