The Cast of The Quiet Equestrian Get Separated In A Shopping Mall And Have To Find Each Other

Lightning Dust nudged the shopkeeper on the withers. "Pally, I'm looking for this guy called Blueblood, you seen him? Blonde, kinda wimpy, talks prissy? He looks like you asked an eight-year old to draw a hairdresser."

Blueblood caught the mother's eye. "Terribly sorry to bother you, I wondered if you'd seen a friend of mine. She's a teal pegasus by the name of Lightning Dust. Short and very angry, her face looks a little bit like a political cartoon."

"My good--" Trixie slugged the last of her gin and made unfocused eyes at the bartender "--friend, you haven't seen a pair of unicorn twins pass through here have you? They're-- they've got light coats, and... they're annoying, really annoying... dressed like very stupid unicorns, and--yes, I'll have another of the same, thank you--they look like the kind of old-timey rent colts that your great-grandfather would write about in his memoirs."

I went up to the counter mare at the milkshake place. "Yo, have you seen a blue unicorn around here? She's light blue, and she's the Element of Hair Conditioner-- Yeah, her name's Trixie, she told-- Yeah, she tells everypony, it's weird I kn-- TCI Fridays, right, thanks..."

"Hello good sir!"

"Sorry to trouble you, but my brother and I find ourselves in a predicament. See, we're looking for a friend--"

"--colleague--"

"--associate of ours. She's a griffon--"

"--a type of cat-bird--"

"--possibly a bird-cat--"

"--we're not entirely sure on the difference, but--a description? Well, she's got a beak."

"And she's got talons."

"And paws."

"On separate legs."

"Grumpy."

"Surly."

"Occasionally outright disgruntled!"

"Smells like fish sauce."

"Looks like a mug-shot, but everywhere."

"She's a big fan of scowling."

"Ringing any bells?"

Comments

[Skywriter]

This story must stick pretty close to canon.

[Neon Czolgosz]

4363203

There's not a hair's width between them

[djthomp]

#i am writing the next chapter of the quiet equestrian #expect it tomorrow or monday #happy new year

Ooooo.

[Derpmind]

Well, it's not like any of their descriptions are wrong...

[Icy Shake]

It would seem that F&F stumbled upon the least helpful person in the mall... or they need to learn when they've said enough and it's best to shut up. Trixie has the right idea, since even if she can't find two ponies at the bottom of a shotglass, she's helping them find her. And she seems to be having the best time of it.

4363220
Whaaaat?

If true.

[Neon Czolgosz]

4363232

Flim and Flam are incorrect. Gilda smells like vegemite, not fish sauce.

4363240

It's the latter for F&F, likely.

And the tags are correct, should have more of The Quiet Equestrian within the next few days!

[Obsidian]

If True...
4363220

Then... Buahahaha! The Probably Dead classification works!

[Celefin]

Yes! the first good laugh of the new year.
Thanks for that... as usual, the characterizations are spot on. My personal favourite is the

He looks like you asked an eight-year old to draw a hairdresser.

[Neon Czolgosz]

4363275

All of these are inspired by my favorite quote from The Thick Of It:

MALCOLM: ''I'm looking for Oliver Reeder, he looks a bit like a Quentin Blake illustration?''

[Neon Czolgosz]

4363264

I saw that notification pop up not five minutes after I'd finished my planning notes for the next chapter, I shit you not.

[MrNumbers]

"Element of Hair Conditioner" is a clear winner for me, followed by "A mug shot, but everywhere".

They're all pretty damn good though.

I feel like I'm obliged to add in Twilight looking for them:

I'm looking for a group of ponies. Except they might not be in a group, and not all of them are ponies. I- no, I heard myself say it.

Sigh.

In order, I am looking for a pair of ponies that are the physical embodiment of an antagonistic musical number? Like that? They look like they've just tied a pony to a railroad track while singing barbershop?

Okay, still not helpful. Um. The other one looks like you stuck glitter in a tube of toothpaste and a mare decided to use it as a wig? Keeps trying to pull things out of the great and powerful cap? No?

I'm sorry, they're just... they're an interesting sort. Very distinct.

Then there's a griffon. She looks like she tried to rob a liquor store then tried to run away from the Guard through a Hot Topic and it just kind of stuck to her?

Hrrm.

Ah, another mare, this one looks like she dunked her head in a bucket of gel and then instead of brushing it ran in a circle as fast as she could? Looks like she's trying to work out what 80's power ballad would best go with whatever she's doing at any given moment? No? Really? She's not exactly subtle.

Last one. He looks like if a gay man tried to picture the perfect stallion to put on the cover of a trashy romance book for women. Still nothing? I'm very confident about that last description.

[Aragon]

This is the kind of brilliant that makes me feel insecure of my own shit. Amazing, man.

I'm so stealing the concept.

Also, happy new year, ya hunk.

[Obsidian]

4363283 :LOL:

Oddly enough, I've actually had quite a bit of luck using that to 'poke' authors. Granted... doesn't work with so many stories... I miss quite a few awesome stories where the author is still around, but the stories are cancelled in all but name.

[CrystalWaters]

4363253

Gilda smells like vegemite, not fish sauce.

She sounds lovely.
And smells divine.