Discovering colored cartoon ponies was one of the best times of my life... how many people get to say that? XD
Thought you could get rid of me that easily, huh? 
Hey, subbies! So yeah, unfortunately for you, I am not, in fact, dead.
So first and foremost, hopefully, you all had/have a fantastic Valentines Day with your special someone today!
I, on the other hand, am enjoying my current bachelor status.
So... subscribers... it's 2017.
Hey-O, subscribers!
Now that most of you are awake and I've seen a butt-load of your "Merry Christmas" blogs, 'bout time I did my own.
I've spent so much time whining about my own petty little problems over the last couple of days when there are people I care about with actual problems. I'm giong to try and stop. I promised myself that even though I've failed myself and dissappointed many people around me, I will do everything in my power to make sure no one else is left alone. It is a horrible feeling that no one else should
Sometimes I look at certain users' stats and... I'm not gonna lie, I get jealous. Not, "I hate this person for being more popular than me". More like, "What am I doing wrong?" kind of jealous. Granted I haven't been very active in groups...
I think I may be a bad person.
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Who is said person?
I get very self-conscious about my online presence myself. "Am I entertaining or merely a distraction? Is my content worth anyone's time other than my own?"
However, of you I've seen nothing that would allude any bad character on your part.
4344165 A lot of people TBH. But I think this thouht came up after seeing that Harmony Pie just hit 600. It feels wrong, but I guess I can only blame myself.
4344170 Well thank you. Although I think my inconsistency and bland userpage may be part of the issue.
4344174
Eh, something like that takes a lot of time and effort. Think of it like this. By getting that far, they must've either followed multiple people or made it their job.
4344174
I believe my issues are multifaceted. None of mine seem very easily remedied.
4344176 She's 14, follows 66 people, and has only been here for just under a year now... I think I'm getting worse.
But then again, she's also published more stories than me and made more blogs, so... IDK anymore.
4344178 I don't even know my problem. I mean, I have a few ideas, but not sure if they're real or just me being overly self-consious.
4344181
Yeah... I got nothing...
4344188 That's where my feelings start. Like I said, it's not that I hate them or envy them or anything, but... I'm just curious. Am I doing something wrong or am I just naturally not very likeable or... IDK.
It seems like you have a slight inferiority complex. Like no matter what you're feeling it just isn't good enough.
4344190
Try doing something everyone may love.
4344192 That's always been the problem TBH. I've always been given high standards as an only child and the oldest on one side of the family. But over the years I've seen Youtubers, child prodigies, success stories, and, of course, writers/people on this site. So when I set goals for myself and see other people just breeze through similar goals without any struggle whatsoever, I feel... inadequet, I guess. It feel horrible, because I'm genuinely happy for people who are successful, especially if they can be so without it getting to their head. But their success always seems to remind me that I still have yet to achieve my own goals, as well as goals expected of me by others, and I feel like I'm lagging behind worse and worse every time.
4344195 I'm very open to suggestions. My only thought recently was to start writing more pony-themed stories than human ones, but I'm not sure if that's the problem.
4344201 Do what I do. Feel proud that they're able to achieve their goals and good that you know that it won't be long until it's your turn.
4344203
May help.
4344205 I try. Guess I can try harder. Because I really don't like jealousy. It feels... It's like the king of feeling that may lead me to do something horrible.
4344206 Well, I already have it in the works. I'll try to focus a bit on that and see if it helps. But honestly, I really wish I didn't care so much.
4344214
...
Are you gonna need help with it?
4344214 You need some more friends as well.
4344215 Considering it'll have OCs, both mine, as well as some others', I might. But if I do, i'll be sure to post a blog asking if I need help. Also, I've written from human perspective my entire life, so I'll also need to make the consious effort to remember, "Hooves and claws, not arms and legs."
4344216 One must first have friends before he can seek for more friends.
4344222 You have friends.
4344226 Lemme guess, on here, right?
4344234 Well duh. But not just here. I'm sure you can make friends in the real world as well. You're a nice guy.
Nah, dude. I've had this feeling a bunch of times before, and I don't think I can even count the many instances that happened.
As people told me before, it's perfectly normal.
4344236 Well true. But as for Irl, niceness can only get me so far.
Here's the thing: the way I think makes it easy for me to relate to people, but the way think also makes me a bit hard to relate to... and admitedly a bit annoying to be around sometimes. Trust me, I've tried. If there's someone out there who I can meet and get along with well enough to confidently call them my friend, I still have yet to meet them. The two firends I have; I'm becoming a bit distant, both because of uni and distance. I try to keep in touch, but htey have their own lives too, y'know?
4344253 I guess. But I just personally don't like the feeling. It just feels like one day, something's gonna happen and I'm going to do something bad that I'll regret and it'll all be for something as petty as how many people follow any of my online profiles... which I would dread.
4344261 I understand.
4344222
Again, I can help you with that.
4344267 I'll keep you in mind when I start looking for help.
4344273
Alright
4344265 But hey, for what it's worth, I'll try to stay as patient and positive as possible.
4344264 Again, been there, done that.
What I do is think of what I already have.
4344290 Yeah. I guess over 200 in a year and a half isn't really bad, considering all my inactivity over that time.
*reads stats*
.....yeah.......
4344343 Yeah. It's kinda silly, I know.
4344184 I mean, the majority of my issues seem to stem from my limited time to make new content. I'm not dropping college just so I can edit pony fanfics and audio read more.
4344460 I guess so... I try. It just feels bad.
4344517 Oh yeah. Unless Knighty decides to start paying me for this, I'm not just ready to drop my academics yet.
4344550 Okie.
*slaps you*
YOU HAVE MORE THAN ME
AND YOU SEEM TO VISIT ALL THE DAMN TIME ASDFGHJKL
4344620 *holds face* Ow.
I guess. But, I mean, there are people with more, and by more I mean almost TRIPLE. I mean, hell yeah, I'm greatful for every one of you. I just wonder how some of the people on this site do it? How does one get that many in just under a year?
4344638 Probably intriguing story concepts
Or past experience writing
Or both
4344649 ... One of them is 14.
I mean, I love her fluffy writing, but that seems to be all talent.
4344655 Intriguing story concepts
Or for being super silly/fun/kawii/etc
4344656 It's most likely the second part. I mean, this is her profile pic.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/user/i68s-1480804626-255726-256
Plus, speaking to her... I wish I had a little sister like that.
4344664 Wait, Harmony Pie?
I actually like her stories :3
ikr
She seems like the sister I never had
Because she's unlike the sisters I do have
4344667 Yep. I LOVE her stories!
Ikr? If I could have a sister, she'd be like that.
The second you said "I think I may be a bad person" you proved that you're not a bad person.
4344713 So I've been told, but it still just doesn't feel right. I just wish I didn't care so much.
Oh my goodness. What... did I just find a blog post discussing me?
To Snova, I'm very sorry you feel that way. :( No, you aren't doing anything wrong. And, 200+ is a pretty decent number, too! I think if you keep practicing and writing, you'll go even further! And, I think you're an awesome person, either way. *hugs*
4344930 Oh, no! You weren't meant to see this! Now I feel terrible.
It's not you, it's me. I'm just overly self consious, even over stupid little things like how many people follow my online profile. I just made a reference to you since most of my followers already know you. I really shouldn't care, but I don't know why I do. I don't want you to see this as being anywhere remotely related to you. I really like you! We haven't spoken in a while, but I remember when you were newer and I would see you in group threads and blogs and sometimes we would talk; you're like the little sister I've always wanted.
I'm really, really sorry if I sounded like I was negative towards you. I don't mean to be, I don't want to be. It's just a really bad part of who I am that I wish I could get rid off.