Review #13 - Constants, He did what?! , The Pink Little Hatchling · 4:09pm Dec 9th, 2016
Ok, so today I have three to review, they are:
Constants by NorrisThePony
He did what?! by Calming Moon
The Pink Little Hatchling by Ponyess
Constants by NorrisThePony
(Slice of Life)
Twilight was ecstatic when she became the personal protégé of Princess Celestia herself. But even a young filly's excitement and curiosity has its limits, and several months into her tutelage Twilight begins to feel homesick. Princess Celestia does her best to help.
Review
Twilight starts to feel homesick, and Celestia helps her by showing her the sky and saying no matter where she is her and her parents will always have the same sky/ stars/ moon.
This story has very good pacing, which makes it much nicer. It has some places where the punctuation could be better, though, but those are hardly noticeable. It also feels mostly planned out, but there are still a couple of "eh" spots. Also, It could maybe use the "Sad" tag... and a "Cute" one according to the author.
Score: 7/10 Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Personal Thoughts Reading this again to do the review had quite the impact on my feels.
He did what?! by Calming Moon
(Comedy, Random)
When two changelings decided to take a "captive", they learn fast why they were told to avoid him. Thankfully it isn't completely horrible. For the "captive" that is.
Review
Two Changelings capture someone and bring him back to the hive. Turns out it is Discord and man does he wreak havoc to their appearances.
This story has good pacing and would be perfect if it had a sequel. Sadly, it does not yet have a sequel, though. However, it does have several spots where punctuation simply doesn't exist, which is very annoying at times because it takes away from the experience. It does seem planned out, though, so that helps. And the tags it has fit well.
Score: 6/10 Recommendation: Worth Reading if you look past the punctuation.
Personal Thoughts: This is a very good story that simply needs a sequel... but hopefully with better punctuation.
The Pink Little Hatchling by Ponyess
(Alternate Universe, Sad)
Once every blue Moon, a Changeling is hatched, who is not jet black like her sisters. As unusual and shocking as this may be. A Pink Changeling is much rarer than a Black Pony. How a Changeling’s first days are progressing. From the Egg to a new Changeling. How the Nurses treat the young Hatchlings. Is it all you had wished to know, but never dared to ask?
Review
A Changeling hatches and it is pink, it wonders why. It goes to its new room and eats someone.
This story is a relatively short one, and yet feels as though it was drawn out some to meet the word requirement. It does not have many errors in the text, though, which makes it a little better. It does not feel very planned out though, as it has a lot of filler... again leading back to that drawn out for the word requirement. And the tags are ok I guess.
Score: 6/10 Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Personal Thoughts: It is a great idea for a work, it just feels too long.
Thank you for the review. That was my second story on the site, so I'm sorry for the punctuation. I've been working on it though.