How To Not Cook Like a Fucktard #2: Spinach Cheddar Potato Biscuits (muffins) · 7:59pm Nov 25th, 2016
For those of you who do not know, I have pretty severe anemia. Because of this, I'm always trying to slip spinach into my recipes. I'll add it to bread, soup, pasta, and so many other stuffs it can get a bit confusin. One thing in particular I make, however, is actually supposed to have spinach in it, and that's my Spinach Cheddar Potato Biscuits.
Before we begin, keep in mind that this recipe makes a LOT of food. That being said, these also refrigerate and freeze very well, and can be popped into the microwave for a minute in order to be re-cooked. Unlike other biscuits, these tend to be a little crumbly on top, then soft and spongy in the middle. Honestly, the texture is often something like a cupcake, which means they're great as a mini-meal on their own. The flavors are simple, mild, and straightforward, and the cook time is minimal.
So here we go.
Prep time <1 hr
Ingredients:
1 large bag fresh spinach (not frozen, loses a lot of the iron)
2 cups Bisquick
1/2 cup self-rising flour (you can also use only self-rising flour or only Bisquick here. You can even try only all-purpose flour, though it won't be as fluffy)
2 cups cheddar cheese (shredded, you can add extra and should if you like it cheesey. Other cheeses are fine too)
1 tbs onion powder (2 is actually great!!)
Generous Pinches of salt, white pepper, paprika
1tbs garlic powder
1/2-1 cup low-fat sour cream (to taste)
2 mashed potatoes
1-2 egg, depending on if you like it dense (More egg means denser)
2 tbsp butter, melted
1/4 cup oil (olive oil is ideal)
1/4 cup milk
Instructions:
1. Blend spinach and sour cream until almost a paste in either food processor or blender. A food processor will give you a chunkier texture, which is nice, and the blender is likely to make it smoother and fluffier.
2. Mix all dry ingredients in bowl.
3. Mix in wet ingredients and spinach sour cream paste until fairly smooth and globulous (no chunks of dry stuff). Adjust ingredients to amount and texture, until thick like a cake batter. If you've never made cake batter, think of it this way: it should pour slowly like honey and still move like a liquid, but it should be thicker than soup, and thicker than egg-nog. If you've never had any of those things, there is something wrong with you.
3B. Okay, I did say this needs 2 mashed potatoes, small Idaho ones if you want specifics, so let me give a brief instruction here. You can boil a potato for about half an hour until you can poke it with a fork and the fork slides all the way through the thing easily. OR you can also throw it in the microwave until it's easy enough to mash. You can take the skin off for this recipe, though that's honestly not needed. Mash the potatoes before you add them in as a wet ingredient.
4. Spoon into muffin tin, in cupcake holders or tin foil. Should be 3/4 full, because the batter will rise. Cupcake holders work the best, but tin foil is fine in a pinch, and gets them a little crispier around the edges.
5. Top with sprinkle of Italian seasonings or anything you'd like across the top. It can even be more cheese!
6. Bake at 350 for about 20 min or until tops begin to get very slightly golden brown. Cool and enjoy.
Recipe makes about 2 dozen.
Holy fuck they're green!
Once you have these, feel free to put a bag of them in the freezer or fridge. In the freezer, they keep pretty much indefinitely from what I've seen, as long as you wipe away any ice clinging to them before reheating. I will say, if you put them in cupcake holders, it's better to peel those off when the biscuit is COLD, rather than if they're warm, so it doesn't stick. These really do try to stick to the cupcake holders. These can then be reheated, one at a time, with 1-2 minutes in the microwave. They're good as a side dish, a meal, or something quick when you don't have time to cook in the morning. Seriously, green cheese and potato breakfast muffins.
BONUS INFO:
-You won't actually taste that much spinach in these, The flavor of the potato or cheese really covers it up, despite the color, though it's still a little there.
-If you're daring, you can add little pieces of bacon to the wet ingredients. The bacon pretty much overwhelms the other ingredients, and cooks in a really nice texture difference. You can also add a splash of whisky for a more bready, sharp flavor. You can even up the spices to a tsp of salt, paprika, white pepper, and Italian seasonings for stronger flavors. Or add black pepper for a spicier taste! Seriously, try adding other stuff, you never know what works!
-Anemia due to low iron can cause fainting, dizziness, confusion, exhaustion, and even loss of appetite. In other words, it's a bitch. I created these biscuits because they are mild, simple, taste salty, and are easy to reheat once they're made. Even when anemic, I can still force myself to eat at least one of these fuckers, which gives me iron and helps with recovery. Basically, I made these for people like me who are anemic and need something simple that'll help with iron levels. It doesn't have all your daily iron or anything, but believe me, it has enough to help you recover when it drops.
-Feeding little kids green muffins is hilarious. They're either terrified or in love with them. There's no middle ground.
-You CAN do this without a muffin tin. When in a pinch, add extra bisquick or flour, until the batter thickens into something more like dough. Then place balls of it on a greased baking sheet and put quickly into the oven an 375. The biscuits will be a little more bready in flavor, and they may spread out weirdly, but it's something you can experiment with, and they're still green.
So, that's all there is to it! And if you hate spinach? Well, see you in another recipe and thank your lucky stars that you're not insanely anemic. Lucky bastards...
Now get cooking!
-Pencil
Shit I love spinach I may have to give this a go
4316990
It makes SO many, so let's hope ya like it.
Why can't you steal other people's blood? Name one reason you can't start sucking blood RIGHT NOW to cure your anemia.
4317004
Who says I don't?
Pity the onions and garlic are powdered, still nice, though :)
Have you tried adding parsley to the mix? Admittedly is more a taste change than anything else.
4317010
I tend not to, but you could! You could also add onions, I just simply cannot have them.
4317013 :) Have done. To be honest, more often have fried them (similar to mead balls, though they do become quite heavy then).
Did you know that when a food says "Iron Fortified", that means there are iron shaving in it?
You could try doing that with these muffins.
I mean, iron shavings do taste better than spinach.
4317017
I love spinach, so whatevs man, you can keep your iron shavings.
4317021 I actually started getting spinach on my Subway sammiches a few years ago, even had a few spinach salads. Personally I don't really taste much of a difference between lettuce salads and spinach salads. Not that I'm trying to taste the difference mind you.
4317005
[Sweating intensifies]
>vampiric writing utensil will never suck your O+ blood
I bet you thought I was gonna say something about it coming from my throbbing penis, DIDN'T YOU?
4317038
Hey man, whatever tickles your pickle.
Fresh spinach is good. That recipe looks good.
I've heard of pernicious anemia related to b vitamin deficiencies
Sounds amazing!
These blogs were the whole reason I followed you.
You're cool too.
I guess.
But these blogs.
I'll probably never even cook anything.
But they're pretty fly, yo.
They make me really happy.
Because.
Don't cook like a fucktard,
Fucktard.
Yeah! Cooking and shit!
Are most of your cooking baking based?
4317753
Nope. I've only posted two so far, it'll take time.
4317754
I'm laughing my old withered ass off over the imperial system measurements you used.
It makes me happy to see the Europeans squirm! >:)
4317754
Any potato dishes that you enjoy?
I like the spinach and kale potato stew that olive garden has. Really reminds of my irishness.