Hours Loom Changelog

Alright, lets get this started. It felt weird this week, not having to edit gibberish of an out of touch writer. I managed to edit some stuff from someone who was actually competent. Coincidentally both were my own, so that's always interesting. Spoiler: This contains spoilers. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler warning!

Let's start with the overall -- grammar and spelling were brought up tenfold. No longer did it have to deal with "Blah blah blah." She said. Using the proper commas and dialogue tags has become second nature, thanks to plenty of practice. A big change was the chapter titles, now the hours the events occurred in. They were originally gobbledygook.

Now, the actual story itself, only certain things were specifically changed. Most of the characters died the same way of the original rendition. That exception is Princess Cadance, who I decided to let live and instead just have her completely mutilated. I felt it was a touching scene for the newly added Epilogue chapter.

I should start near the beginning though. One major change also happens to Cadance, where instead of no reasoning for why she disappeared, instead she was knocked out and dragged from the foyer. I also felt I wrote Pinkie better in this edit. When I read the original, I felt she wasn't really in character.

Another change was for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, who became lost in the back of the castle. Originally, they had just followed screaming. I felt this change was necessary to emphasize how large the castle was. Another attempt at that was during Chapter 4, where Shining Armor could "hear screams coming from all directions". There was a lot of screaming going on between 11 PM and 2 AM.

Speaking of Chapter 4, the ending has Rarity staying near Pinkie's corpse. In the original, she walked away still attempting to find her sister. I felt this new rendition was more towards her character, as she would want to mourn the loss of her friend before continuing on. Whether she stayed or went though, she would always be under suspicion by the reader, and so this played more into her character.

In Chapter 5, Twilight sees herself in the flames. This was changed from seeing the masked pony in the flames, as she had never seen who the killer was. This also helped play into her psychosis from seeing so many tragic things. I also added more emphasis on her believing in two killers. But the biggest change to happen to Twilight in this chapter was the stabbing of her wing. I felt that removing one of her wings was something that would be an ever reminder for what had happened, if not just a surprise for the reader.

Of course, that's not all that changed in Chapter 5. The biggest of all was the fact that this chapter originally had the masked pony speaking. In this newly edited version, the killer does not speak. I removed that completely because I felt that took away from the overall creepiness of the mask, and I can always save that idea for later.

Also, last thing for Chapter 5, there was an entirely new scene added. The Rarity and Applejack scene was added to show what every character was doing, and gave way to the changes that were coming in Chapter 6.

Chapter 6, oh boy, Chapter 6. The entirety of Chapter 6 was thrown out and redone. Twilight no longer tried to kill herself, only simply thinking about it. She also witnessed the masked pony leaving the bathroom, so that gave her reasoning to go in there, rather than the attacker forcing her in.

For Rarity and Applejack, the scene to which they believe Shining is the killer, I felt it was the best new scene. It gave perfect reasoning for what Applejack believed, and what Rarity believed. Applejack finding Cadance's body outside was added because Cadance was not shown at all in the story originally, after the foyer scene. The fight she has with Shining was slightly kept, as the original said "She's dead" instead of "She's alive".

The final scene for Chapter 6, where Fluttershy dies, originally had a lot more dialogue. This was because of the masked pony's ability to talk, and I felt it really drew away from the flow of story.

Chapter 7, the final chapter, had specific things changed to fit the story. The masked pony was originally talking to Twilight, drawing her into her bedroom and finding a hair and horn of Cadance. Instead, it was actually Cadance and the masked pony was waiting outside. The slice on the shoulder was, to me, a genius addition. Originally, Twilight just ran away, and instead in this, she gives chase to find a weapon.

The meeting and hanging of Applejack was unchanged, which I felt was a good scene from the original that I wanted to keep. All the evidence accusing Applejack was a bit shifted, but overall the same. Rarity's reveal was much different though - thanks to the knife. I felt the scent of apples and seeing the burnt Scootaloo weren't enough for the accusation of Rarity, but they were enough to investigate the shoulder cut.

The entire explanation between Rarity and Twilight were kept the same, only flushed out and better worded compared to the original. The fight between Rarity and Applejack remained the same for the most part as well, with different nicks here and there. Such as Applejack losing part of her ear.

Then, the ending to the story was almost completely changed. Though Twilight and Applejack are still in carts, waiting to be taken away to the hospital, they now have gas masks and the addition of seeing Cadance in another cart. Rarity still manages to get away, and Luna goes to find the killer. The one big change to this scene is where the killer comes up to Twilight's cart and speaks to her one last time. This part is specifically referencing the movie Phone Booth, I recommend anybody go watch it if you like good movies.

That's pretty much it. I won't go into the Epilogue, other than saying it's there. If you are confused about the ending to the Epilogue, let's just say it's getting set up for this coming October. It'll have been a year since I made the original Hours Loom, and I think it's time for something more. Even though it's not my most popular series, I still quite enjoy writing sadistic, pony killing stories. Maybe that speaks volumes about me, who knows.

Anyways, that's all folks. If you haven't read Hours Loom, and you read all of this... Well, sorry for spoiling? I did warn you? You don't play by the rules, do you? You handsome rogue.

~TheTimeSword