Story Reviews » SA Reviews #83 · 11:11pm May 8th, 2016
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
"So who are you?"
"Core. I've been here for years."
Alexmagnet (for it was he!) frowned and shook his head. "Doesn't ring a bell."
"I'm here more than you are!"
"Mmm... nope, still not seeing it."
Across the room, beyond a glass wall, Plum and Ferret watched with concerned expressions as the scene played out. Little could be said, but Plum decided to say it anyway.
"How long?"
"Days," Ferret replied. She put her paws against the glass. "It was all going so well, but now there's this whole delusion that Alex came back, and don't get me started on the flying space tree."
"It was real!" Core flailed against the glass, eyes wide. "I saw it! A man walked on the ceiling! There was a donkey in a suit! We wrote fanfic reviews together!"
"It was a dream," said Plum.
ROUND 83
Tag Along, Do-si-Do, and Thin Mint are the best of friends. Over the years, they’ve done it all as Cookie Cadets - camping, hiking, nature walks, knot tying, athletics, baking, and even getting the rare and misunderstood Community Service badge. But there’s one thing they’ve never managed to do - Win the Equestrian Cookie Cadet Cookie Selling Contest.
But Tag Along has a plan - This year is going to be different.
This year, they’re going after the biggest customer of them all.
Mmm… Thin Mints…
The cookie, not the OC. Gosh, you weirdoes.
So this is a slice of life about totally-not Girl Scouts trying to score the biggest sale of cookies Equestria wide and finally beat those snobby not-Girl Scouts from Baltimare and Fillydelphia and all those other cities. They don’t have anything on them! Not this time. This time, the Cookie Cadets are going to win it and finally earn their Business Filly’s badges—they have to! It’s their last year as Cadets.
And you know what that means. They have to hatch a plan to outsell all the rest, sell to the pony that nopony has ever sold cookies to before, the pony who would buy the most of everypony and ensure they win by a landslide: Princess Celestia herself.
But a princess isn’t the easiest mare to talk to, and their past shenanigans might not sit well with the palace guard. Luckily for them, the Summer Sun Celebration is coming up, and they have the perfect plan to get her one on one.
If you can’t tell, this is one of those stories that leans heavily on cute innocence for its drive and interspersed comedic moments. The writing is strong and well-paced, and the direction is clear from the onset, but with just enough withheld to keep the tension going. And am I allowed to say that these three are adorable? I mean, really, Tag-a-long? Do-Si-Do? Thin Mint? Those names are too perfect.
This was a joy to read, and i was grinning from start to finish.
If I said "this could be an episode" would you call me a hack?
Oh?
Fine.
So what do we have? A trio of fillies, a madcap plan to do thing, a collection of implausible implements and Pinkie Pie. Yes, it's not actually a Cutie Mark Crusaders fic!
That sounded better in my head.
Stories that fill in background and minor characters are always welcome. Stories that fill in minor characters in a way that is both heartwarming and believable are even more welcome. Stories that do all that, add a dash of adventure and work in a message about growing up and separation in a way that is neither trite nor forced, and that flows entirely into the plot so completely that you only notice it afterwards?
Weighing in at around nine-thousand words this is a fairly hefty fic for a one-shot, yet it was one of the quicker reads I've had recently. A combination of tight pacing and likeable, genuinely individual characters made it a worthy read.
When Apple Bloom's nightmares come to life, she must learn that it's OK to admit when you’re scared.
A bedtime story in three parts.
I look at stories like this and I can only think of one word: wow.
How do you write this sort of thing? How do you come up with this? These words? This style? It’s so childlike and beautiful.
Apple Bloom is a brave filly! She is strong, and the storm and the monsters are big and dumb! She doesn’t need Applejack, or a night-light!
Or so she thinks.
The story and its moral are right there in the description, but don’t let the simplicity of that dissuade you from reading. In fact, that’s all the more reason to.
Many of us fondly remember our time as kids and being read stories like Where the Wild Things Are. This is very much that sort of children’s book story—where the protagonist’s imagination runs wild and their bedroom becomes a whole new world to explore and free themselves from the trappings of those four tiny walls. Or, in this case, run from it.
Everything from the perspective to the words themselves captures the spirit of childhood like no other story out there, barring Lucky_Dreams’ other stories. Take this excerpt:
She gripped her blanket, shiver-shaking at a flash of lightning. Two flashes! She grasped tighter. On the third flash, thank the heavens, thank all that was warm and cosy, Applejack returned with a lantern full of fireflies, whose soft light sloshed around in the gloom of the bedroom. “A light for you, sugar cube,” Applejack said, placing the lamp upon the bedside desk. “A light for you in dark places.”
Apple Bloom gulped a second time. “I told you Applejack. I ain’t scared.”
Applejack wasn’t fooled: she understood the language of sisterhood, a language huddled in the spaces between Apple Bloom’s words, visible in the twinkling of her eyes, and present in the touch of the filly’s hoof against her fur. Out loud, Apple Bloom insisted that she wasn’t scared, she swore that she wasn’t frightened. Not her! No way! No way did she need a night-light! What Applejack heard, however, was Thank you, Thank you; then she kissed her little sister on the forehead, a kiss to say, I love you. I love you.
This is how you build a sweet, sincere children’s story. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to write (or you simply enjoy) children’s literature, this (and everything else by Lucky_Dreams) is your one-stop shop.
I was going to start this review with the phrase "Lucky Dreams writes fairy tales", with the firm conviction that what I was about to read was indeed a fairy tale. Except it's not.
It's Alice in Wonderland.
"Now Archonix," you might mumble, as you shuffle your feet and scratch your head beneath your cap. "Archonix, mate, ain't Alice in Wonderland a fairy tale?" To answer that would be needlessly picky, I might say, but let it suffice that a Fairy Story is more toward speculative fiction, whilst this is more towards nonsense.
And now I hear you gasp in shock: nonsense! Why should we read that? Because it's fun, I answer. Because nonsense conveys truth in much the same way as wine, or laughter; it bypasses logic and seeks right to the heart of the matter.
That matter of course being a filly's fear of the dark, or at least that's how it appears at first. By turns marvelous and, frankly, insane, young Applebloom navigates a treacherous ocean, ravenous wildlife and the constant threat of death as she dreams of a way back to home and hearth.
And it all begins with an existential terror: what happens when the sun is put out?
Y'know, for kids!
This is my life now. It's a good life, too: Free food, free schooling and a roof over my head. A future laid out for me. I have everything I need to make the most of this. But then she shows up and makes me question whether I want to or not. She is infuriating, annoying, outlandish, boorish, exquisite.
She reminds me of what I've lost.
She reminds me of home.
A bit of a heavier one for you here, largely out of tone with the others in this round and our only first-person fic. Its also our only [Sad] fic of the lot, though I hesitate to actually call it sad.
The story goes that Octavia somehow got into the human world and was adopted by human parents and sent off to college to study classical music, and somewhere in the midst of that meets Vinyl Scratch. But not everything is as it seems.
The format Quicksear uses—the numerous scene changes this fic boasts—hints at a sort of mystery, if you will, as to what all is going on—less for a puzzling out a mystery than for an ‘is it truly?’ question. It’s not truly a mystery, but it has a similar vibe regarding her fears and just what is going on. I can’t say more than that or risk spoilers, but I can say that it’s certainly effective, despite how confusing it is toward the start of the fic. This one requires some attention to keep things straight.
What this fic boasts most of all is its strength of narration. Like Lucky_Dreams’ Light in Dark Places, also featured in this round, this story digs deep into its perspective. Like, real deep. It takes on an almost memoir-like feel, especially given the mentioned scene transitions. It focuses almost exclusively on the mentality and the emotions of the speaker rather than details of the happenings. It’s interesting to see how much this one conveys without really saying much at all. The ending might feel cliche and isn’t that hard to pick up, but this one is definitely worth the read.
The first time I read this story I found a tale that was satisfying, entertaining and that achieved the writer's stated goal of being emotive. The superficial content is obvious from the tags and the opening phrases: Octavia is lost, she wants her love, and her love is Vinyl. It progresses from there to a satisfying conclusion that – I will admit – left me just a little sniffly by the end. It's a story about hope, and comfort, and finding your place in the world.
I don't deny I'm a soft-hearted chap at times.
It was good. It was touching in all the right places, with strong, solid characters and a well-defined conflict. But something niggled at me about this story. Something about the cadence, the timing of its parts, the interplay of past and present. The repetition of certain ideas, certain feelings... so I read it again. Then I counted the sections, and realised that it could be split roughly into four movements that switch between past and present, just as Octavia and Vinyl's music draws from the classical and the modern. Four movements that cycle from slow, to adventurous, to triumphant, back and forth, almost like a dance. It's a pattern that Octavia would have recognised.
Intentionally or not, our author has written a Symphony.
Rainbow Dash gets killed by some jerk in a storm cloud. It's not the best way to start an evening, and things only get more annoying from there. Turns out, that jerk and his pack of hunters want Dash as their prey. It's kind of a bummer. But she's got other ideas, and anyway, what's the worst they can do to her?
Not even death can stop Rainbow Dash from being Rainbow Dash!
So yeah, that’s a thing in this fic: Rainbow Dash dies. It all happens while she and the rest of Ponyville’s pegasi attempt to divert a massive rogue storm on its way to destroying Ponyville. The crazy thing is, it only gets sillier from there.
The storm is no ordinary storm; it is a mass of mythical beasts, led by a great eight-legged pony, Sleipnir. He’s the one that killed her, and therefore the only one that can bring her back to life if beaten in mortal combat.
Luna makes a few appearances (eee!) and, as she is often in the show, is mostly used as a guide of sorts for Rainbow Dash. Why exactly? It’s rather thinly explained, but just roll with it.
While the setup and execution of the story itself is on the weaker side, the great strength of this story comes from its comedy, namely Rainbow Dash being played up to the nth degree as her egotistic, semi-idiotic season-one self. She bounces off the other characters like a racquet ball in a paint can in a paint shaker (sorry, I’m terrible at metaphors). And while the body language is far beyond sparse, the spitfire nature of the character interactions more than smooth over this gripe.
This is not a deep story, but sweet Celestia is it hilarious. It feels like an excuse to write funny Rainbow Dash. But really, what more could you want?
If there's one thing you can rely on Rainbow Dash to deliver, it's pride. She's a giant pride pitcher (except when she's with Big Mac, amirite?) and more than willing to explain and demonstrate why that pride is – mostly – justified.
Now it might be a little difficult for RD to continue to justify that pride when she's dead, but if there's another thing you can rely on Rainbow Dash to deliver, it's a complete disregard for petty little things like circumstances and ongoing vitality.
Faced with both her own mortality and an initially brief, but enlightening encounter with a rather impressive display of mythology, Dash proves once again that she is never one to refuse to rise to a challenge. And also that, while she's not often one to think things through at first, she usually finds her way to a creative and entertaining solution sooner or later.
It was fun, this fic. Anarchic, perhaps? Dash's typical insouciance toward reality, inconvenient facts and listening is turned up to a very hearty eleven, and then sprinkled with sugar and deep fried until it's crisp and sharp as a razor. From beginning to end I laughed. I think you will too.
"... and that's when I woke up. Weirdest dream ever."
"Sure was," CV said, from his place on the ceiling. "As if Alexmagnet would ever come back."
"He's just taking a shower," Core insisted. "That's all!"
CV glanced up, or possibly down, at Arch before turning a skeptical frown on Core. "For a whole year?"
"Hey," Pav cut in, "if a guy needs to feel clean..." he looked up as the treehouse shuddered beneath a gentle impact. "That'll be the intern. I'll go help Raz with the welcome package."
"It's a box," Raz added helpfully. "And also an emergency fluff containment system. You never know how all that time bathing in cosmic radiation has affected those guys."
"They were only up there for an hour," said CV, but Raz didn't respond, having somehow managed to disappear without opening the door.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Staying in a shower for a year would make someone so pruny.
Personally, I'm kind of waiting for Csquared to come back (again). I was doing a blind Nuzlocke run of Pokemon Platinum, and I even named a Ponyta/Rapidash after him (long story. Very long story).