Raegdan's fight and a view on the "badass" character. · 3:12pm Oct 29th, 2015
So, chapter 4 of my story is out and I got to show Raegdan kicking ass in the arena. It was fun, so very fun, to write and people seemed to enjoy it based on the majority of the comments. Some, maybe you are reading this right now, had difference of opinions and, let's call them that, objections. I want to address some of those, mostly because either I write down the words or I go into a long rant on someone. And texts are easier to ignore than a guy talking your ear out.
Issue one. The brutality of the fight. Did things have to go so far? Well, I think they had to really. It was a fight with real weapons, combatants who had a grudge on Raegdan (a partial reveal on why coming on the next chapter, already written), and a character who tends to go berserk.
Why did everyone involved take things so far? Well, the Solars simply want Raegdan gone but as I said more on that will come later. And Raegdan? Did he go overboard as some argued? He had reasons to, he held back at the beginning and could have been killed for his trouble. But did this justify his end actions? He is our hero after all. He killed a guard and went sadist on the other two AFTER they were either taken out of the fight or took them out that way. Wtf hero? Is this how you are supposed to act? No, it's not, and the reason he did is simple. Raegdan is no hero. He was never meant to be.
He is shown to swagger like a boss, care little about the opinion of others, love his own like a papa wolf and his appearance screams badass. He is covered in bitching scars ffs. Which is one way to look at it. Let's look at it another way. Raegdan is shown to hide his inequalities under the bluster of violence, is afraid to face anyone's judgement, is so terrified of losing what little love he has in his life that he will cross every line to keep it and his body is nothing but a portrayal of his constant, endless failures. He was obviously punished for something terrible judging from his back alone ffs. There. Two different explanations of the same "qualities" of the character. Which one is true? And does it matter?
We judge him from his actions we see right now and if we compare them to those of the guards, apart from escalating first, he did much worse. How easy would he be labeled the villain if he had ridden in the arena on a black chariot, claimed superiority over everyone and proceeded to torture and maim those who challenged him. Pretty far out? Cause in a way, this totally happened. He arrived riding on Luna's metaphorical shoulders, they claimed superiority over the Solars by challenging on three of them and then he did kill, maim and torture. But we claimed him as a hero cause he saved and protected one of our own years ago so we excuse him and call it badassery, not the acts of a disturbed man who can longer control himself. When he walked to the middle of the arena and waved despite the booing, taking in it stride, Rainbow called it bravery cause that's what she projected on his actions. Steadfast would call it an insult and Celestia would call it unemotional. Take a look at his actions since he walked in that arena and try to see him from the other side. You will be surprised.
What about Luna? I am sorry, everyone, but this is not the Night Princess you know from the show. I tagged the story alternate universe and the main reason, though there are others but less important, is her and what happened a thousand years ago. The Luna we know in the show got scorned and decided to force her Night on everyone so they would learn to love it like she did. This Luna... there are a couple of hints in the story even now so if you prefer not to have a small part of it spelled out I will use the spoiler thingy. This Luna decided that she would give everyone a real reason to not like her Night. And she didn't do it with a simple refusal to lower her moon nor did her terror last less than a day. She earned the title of Nightmare Moon.
She and Raegdan understand each other in ways others have no way to, unless they willfully cross lines they are not prepared to cross. They have stared into the abyss of their souls and despite trying to drag themselves out they keep getting pulled back in. They both got lost in their bloodlust, a sideeffect of when you do that they did for so long. When that stallion died and his family cried and wailed, seeing his savage death right in front of them? The thought of caring did not cross their mind. They wanted to sing the little winning cheer they came up with beforehand and by god they would do it.
Truth be told, they have few redeeming qualities as they are. One is that they still love some people at least. Another is that they both know what they are at heart. And they try to change. Try, being the keyword. This is still a story. It needs struggles to keep going, be it Raegdan and Luna physically battling others, battling their own selves, or Celestia and Twilight fighting off the realization of who their loved ones are.
Twilight has seen Raegdan kill and maim and she still stands by him and excuses his actions and justifies them with the pittance of knowledge he has offered. Cause he loves her and she loves him. But, how will this end when Raegdan and Luna push too far? I am unsure, to be honest. I think that if I manage to reach that point, the Twilight in my head will speak up then.
There is going to be a lot of violence, shock and awe in the story as well as more acts of pure badassery. A major reason why this will be (if I get the story right) I don't want to spoil but you might want to read David Gemmel's "Quest for Lost Heroes". There we see an amateur swordsman remove the threat of a large gang of bandits with a single swipe of his sword. It's genius in its understanding of human nature, at least that's how i saw it.
I think I textually molested you all long enough. I wanted to write more, take a look at some other fictional badasses and their qualities vs other characters who would not normally considered so but in truth are, but if I do that I might end up with a word count long enough to qualify as the longest chapter I wrote so far. I spoiled things far enough anyway, but considering I am not sure how to integrate some of those point in-story without switching to Raegdan's POV or getting him to monologue for hours I thought I should let those thoughts out.
And please, do not take this as a tantrum against criticism. It is not. Every comment is dear to me, be is a simple "tis awesome", a "you dun goofed" or the posters criticism on how good or bad I did. Especially those last ones. I want to be a better writer, I want each chapter to be better and if I write another story I want it to be much, much better. Hell, I wait for your comments before polishing each chapter so I can have a better idea of what issues I should fix. I have ideas, I want to display some depths but I struggle due to the black hole of my inexperience. But I will keep on trucking.
Thank you for reading, and please, if you have thoughts you want to share, do! I want to read them and think on them. Because that way we learn and grow.
Crimmar.
Everything is not black and white, what someone thinks is good someone else might not think, not all stories have a "good" hero. I think you're trying to say.
I always saw Luna as a badass guardian of the night. While also being insecure around those that she barely knows.
Keep this up because I will definately follow it.
The fight in the arena started as a Tournament, but the Solar Guards turned it into combat. They were not going for a nonlethal win, they were trying to kill. When that happened the only option became to fight(and possibly kill) to survive.
Combat with your life and well-being on the line (or someone else's) is not like a movie/TV fight.
My martial arts instructor from years ago told us the following.
If you're in a fight, you don't hit the assailant and let him backpedal to recover then go at it again. You hit, advance and hit again, and keep the distance closed and keep hitting that assailant until they are physically incapable of hurting you.
Pain will not stop an assailant, damage will. In order to stop an assailant from hurting you, you have to cause damage to their body. Break bones, cut flesh, etc.
My friends who were in the military said if you get into hand to hand combat and you don't kill the bad guy in 3 moves or less, you (and possibly other members of your unit) are going to die. Not necessarily from the guy you're fighting, but because it gives his buddies time to get there to help him kill you.
I think Raegdan is working from the principal that killing blows are the quickest way to end any fight. When it comes to survival and combat, this is the proper attitude to have.
General George S. Patton summed it up best: "The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
Hmm I can understand why you doing this and hell I aprove this. You are trying to picture pony world as difrent. Rgis world is NOT sunshine and rainbows and from to time villaind trying to steal cake. It's normal world maybe not as violent as Earth. Celetsia probably just after her ascension and bansihment of her sister..... cuted out a bit of her political enemies. She might even melowed from that moment but now her sister and crazy uncle of her almost daughter are warking together mighte give her a lot of bad ideas.
Well Myself i prefer Badass Character and this story is what i love right now (100%HONEST
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And i don't Think you overdo with Gore
Celestia has known Raegdan sine Twilight was a filly. She knows what he can do, and things I imagine he did during his stay in Canterlot. The fact that she even lets him outside and around others is incredible. Him being 'Twilight's stepfather/bodyguard' is a flimsy cover at best. Celestia of all ponies should know 'who her loved ones are'. I have my doubts as to whether the Solar guard was the first one Raegdan has killed. If it is so, it is no wonder ponies despise him. He would be seen as a killer given free reign.
>When that stallion died and his family cried and wailed, seeing his savage death right in front of them? The thought of caring did not cross their mind. They wanted to sing the little winning cheer they came up with beforehand and by god they would do it.
>And they try to change. Try, being the keyword.
Yeahhhhh, that's like an alcoholic promising to stop drinking even as he pays for his next bottle of Scotch. So far, their actions could hardly be considered 'trying to change'. That their 'blood lust' rises to the fore so easily is troubling, and once again, one wonders about the perception that Celestia cannot keep her sister and her new pet in line.
I was alright with the actual combat in the arena. It was well justified in the story, fit the characters, and it fit the tone of the story you're trying to tell. That said, there was one part that bothered me:
Luna and Raegdan doing a cheer about how much the solar guard sucks while the family of the stallion he had just killed was screaming in the background.
That wasn't justified brutality. That wasn't badass. That wasn't anything but pure cruelty. I get that the solar guard has always hated Raegdan and Luna's a friendless shut-in, but in that one act they both completely assured that every other pony in Canterlot will hate them as well.
Except for the sociopaths and the truly evil. They'll be fine with it.
I'm withholding judgement on it for now, since there's still room for the consequences of that act to happen in the next chapter, but if you were trying to portray the two of them as anything other than needlessly cruel and downright evil, you blew it with that cheer.