Okay, it's almost there, just missing something.

Well, the next chapter is almost ready, its just too short, and I'm missing something. If you want to be terribly disappointed in me, you can check it out here.

As for myself, I probably wont be able to fix it until tomorrow, seeing as how I have work tonight. I'll keep working on it until I have to leave, but don't expect it to be ready before then.

Comments

[PacotheTac0]

I certainly wasn't disappointed. It's a hell of a cliffhanger, though. You left me eager for more, but not disappointed.

[Seirs]

It is short, but not dissapointing at all. Like has been said, nice cliffhanger at the end.
Personally I wouldn't worry about it.

[Starbuck the Pegasus]

You can add more if you want. I certainly won't complain. Hell, you had me sweating after the first paragraph.

[Topaz Moon]

I didn't see anything wrong with it, just like the others said.

[BigLurker]

It looks great, no grammar or spelling issues I'm aware of, but I agree- it's missing something. It's not like the chapter is bad or lacking punch or anything like that. I really liked the scene with 'burning' Spike (good excuse to get Rarity out of the way- pretty sure Ilsk would have just killed her if they had gone in after the gas grenade had cleared). Maybe it's the length, it is a small chapter if you look at length and not actions that go on. Sorry that that isn't very helpful...