HazMat Contest Review #1: Constellations · 9:44pm Sep 26th, 2015
Since I've read all the stories and got my notes firmly on a gdoc in front of me, I'm going to launch those reviews I promised tonight. Because I happened to like this one, I decided to start with Constellations.
Constellations is one more story about Luna and Celestia. I've probably seen more of those than I'd have liked to see in a lifetime. People (myself included) are practically drawn to writing about the two in some form of sisterly relationship. It's something so recurring that it's often rather rare for a story to distinguish itself from the teeming mass of like-minded stories.
I felt this story managed to do just that. Not really through clever writing and character interaction (although this certainly isn't bad in the story) but the creative idea and origin of where the stars come from, and what Celestia uses them for. For me especially, that was what made the relatively cookie-cutter idea of Celestia wanting her sister back something that stuck in my mind as something novel and interesting.
Celestia is the star character in this story, though. Twilight (as a filly) didn't capture my interest quite as much, probably because she was more of an observer. Celestia had the motivations of trying to tell stories to her sister, and Celestia was the one who was demanding my attention for, essentially, telling the story. Twilight felt more like a stand-in for me, the reader, and whilst serviceable, I wouldn't have minded a bit more colour to her character. As it stands, the story really was about Celestia, and I feel it still works because she's certainly done justice. The story shows her as more human and tangible early on, and keeps that trend going nicely. It delivers its points cleverly, even if the writing itself was fairly standard.
The story may have very quickly become one with the large amount of stories that paint Celestia and Luna in an almost identical light, but thankfully the story keeps it short, and doesn't overstay its welcome. The novelty of the idea behind the constellations didn't wear off in the time it was given, and that's good.
The reason it didn't place in the contest was mostly because, with only two flashbacks (both short) to its name, we didn't feel it was really as in the spirit of the contest as many other stories, especially ones that went all out to try and deliver convoluted and twisted points of view. As a story, I liked it a fair bit. As a contest entry, it might have made it if some of the other entries had been less ambitious. They were, though, so this story is stuck simply being appreciated only for being creative and intelligent, which isn't a bad thing at all.
Thanks for the review!
Yeah, trying to shoehorn my story into "anachronism" was probably a bit of a stretch, so not particularly surprised at the result (even without taking the quality of the other entries into consideration).
In particular, I'm glad my Celestia worked! I find her a fascinating character, so writing her was kind of nerve-wracking; after all, as you say, 'Celestia misses Luna' isn't the most original of fanfic premises.
Looking forward to the next contest, which I will try to enter with something more appropriate.