TA and SS Follow-up Review Thingy: The Cutie Map · 9:31pm Apr 8th, 2015
Personally, I liked the title, ‘Cutie Markless’ better, but after a nice discussion with someone at the con, I can understand the change. ‘Cutie Markless’ implies the complete absence of cutie marks, which wasn’t necessarily the case. ‘The Cutie Map’ strengthens the theme of the Mane Six following said map and their butt symbols.
Nerd!
I didn’t ask for your input yet, assistant.
I’m not your assistant, I’m co-commentator! It's in my contract.
Yes., yes; must you pull that up for every argument?
Yeah.
Of course. Before we digress too far, perhaps we should do what we came here for.
It’s been eleven long months, Rainbow Rocks notwithstanding, but we’re back with new episodes at last! And with new episodes come new review/follow-up thingies!
For those of you new to this, we basically provide commentary, pointless banter and stupid jokes, with the occasional insightful remarks and nitpicks. Why?
Because we’re bored.
I’m the Alibnocorn! And joining me from Long Road to Friendship is the steadily reforming, still super snarky—
Sunset Shimmer. Welcome to Season 5!
Animation style improving with every season!
Ugh, that thing looks like crystals threw up on a tree and Hasbro shoved a play set into it.
That... is an apt description.
See the difference?
Consistency? What's that? Ah well, baby steps, animators, baby steps.
Update your headcanons, ladies and gentlemen.
Can't wait for a high depth, zoomed in version of this thing. One minute in, and we're already getting a big promise of a ton of world building. Again, brace your headcanons.
They will shatter like glass upon the rocks. And I will laugh as you all desperately cling to your fanfictions like life preservers and weep for your obsolete ideas.
Ain't she a peach?
Spike=Hasbro. Pinkie=you.
Canon crush! The fun thing about seeing the premier with a whole lot of other bronies is you get to see their reactions as well. This was a moment where everyone laughed.
Peer pressure.
Join us... join us... That seems to be the universal theme for this episode. Yeah, strip away the Marxism and Communism and you get 'peer pressure is bad.' Poor Fluttershy.
While the girls are away, Spike will play.
I guess my biggest complaint for this episode is that Spike was written out. Necessary I guess, but it's the season premier! You need all the mane 7 for the premier! The last time he had this little airtime was back in season 2, and even then, at least he did something important.
You know something's wrong if the train nopes outta there.
Ominous sign number one.
Rainbow 'Danger' 'Professionalism' Dash
I get that Dash likes dangerous situations, but I find it odd that she's practically begging for it here. Guess she got just as bored as we did during the hiatus.
I'm sure Maud would be impressed.
I know I am. By all rights, she should be dead. Then again, so should Rainbow by this point in her life.
See? That earth-pony strength is good for something.
Smiling faces.... smiling faces sometiiimes. They don't tell the truth.
Welcome to... well, I'm sure they'll give us the town's name in a sec... right?
Pinkie's the first to be on point this episode.
She's not wrong. No one smile's like that unless they've got something to hide. Or they're crazy. Sometimes both.
Welcome.
If you're not getting major creepy vibes, something is wrong with you. I love friendly greetings as much as the next person, but if everyone is chanting 'welcome' at me, I'd be worried about how close they were to drinking the koolaid.
Yes, true friendship. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.
So either, they're all crazy or they really want to get laid.
I like Double-Diamond because he look a lot like my personal OC. Just give him red eyes and a horn and boom, you have the Albinocorn, aka, Ivory Coat.
We still don't have a name for this place.
Oh yeah. Soon, I'm sure.
Pinkie, still on point.
Seriously, what's the name?
Synonym 2!
I mean, really? It makes sense for me, I'm literally the anti-thesis to Twilight. But come, Starlight Glimmer? If it turns out she was Celestia's student before me, I will flip tables.
Let's not be so hasty to cast judgement. I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. Also, Rainbow must have been really bored to be disappointed Starlight wasn't a monster.
Pinkie making her first entry into the best face contest.
I should just say it now, she wins for this episode.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Because we all know what she means by TRUE friendship.
Playing a friendly game of Monopoly. Come on guys, what were you thinking?
Math!
So the village (still not named) is comprised of ponies who have given up there special talents. Willingly or not remains to be seen. Everyone is equal here! Great on paper, impossible to pull off, but hey, maybe is Equestria is different. Let's find out!
Note: when someone says 'tour' it usually means montage or song!
Smiling faces. Smiling faces tell liiiies!
Even the beat of the song has a feel of conformity. Perfect uniform neatness. Everyone march together!
Now if someone could just give us a name.
"We do not compete."
Rainbow cannot compute these words. She's the very symbol of competition.
Seriously, what the freak is the name of this stupid town!?
Obligatory, adorable Fluttershy
Pinkie, still winning.
I should just go through the entire series and make a compilation of all of Pinkie's faces. She really has the best ones. Her and Adagio.
DAMMIT, SOMEONE TELL ME THE NAME!
Ominous sign number two.
So six ponies walk into a village where everyone has the same cutie mark, run by a mare who's name is synonymous with Twilight Sparkle. After singing a song about how great there town is—
But never giving it a flipping name!
—she tells them they can go whenever they like. Can anyone guess the punchline here?
This fashion disgusts Rarity.
It's all the small things Rarity does that reminds me why I like her a lot. Well... I like all of them. Equally, one could say.
Oh, clever.
"I made a funny!"
That comedy is so bad, yet it fits Pinkie to a T. Only she could make a joke that bad and still make me chuckle.
Fun fact: Rebecca Soichet did her voice!
Another time where everyone in the room laughed. Those beats with "We have: muffins..." were perfect. And just look at that face. How can you say no to a muffin from her?
Somewhere in Ponyville, Derpy is about to retch.
Exe. Sugar Bell does not compute.
You have to wonder the extent of Starlight's reprogramming process. Or Sugar Bell's past I guess. The fact that she thinks that you can't disagree about anything in order to be friends suggests that, either Starlight is really good at her job, or Sugar Bell's never had a friend, period.
Also makes you think about how all these ponies came to the conclusion that their cutie marks led to misery. I mean, a baking cutie mark is pretty straight forward. You bake! Not sure how that would lead to such unhappiness that you'd give it up. Now if you're me and your mark is super ambiguous...
I'd like to point out that you can hear Applejack's voice echoing. Not very subtle!
Pudgy Pie
She can eat a whole cake and not gain an ounce. But Twelve muffins and she's a balloon animal.
Those muffins must have been really bad. Wait... shh.... you can hear Derpy wailing from here.
I need an adult!
You know, even with context, this scene can be taken in a number of wrong ways. At it's core though, it's just plain creepy.
Personal space!
Personal space!
Yeah, she's just a little too eager to see cutie marks. Somepony did that to me, they'd be on the ground trying to remember how to breathe.
Ominous sign number three.
You know, it's actually pretty smart of Starlight not to hide the cutie marks away. Having them in plain views helps her visage of wanting to help them. If she locked them in a dark room and told them they'd never see them again, it wouldn't exactly inspire trust.
This is why we don't let you talk, Pinkie.
The thing is, while Pinkie may have spilled the beans, all the ponies were already hiding in the shadows, so it's like, Starlight was going to do this anyway.
Which again brings up the question, how many ponies came here willingly? Forcefully taking away cutie marks seems... counterproductive at this stage in her game.
It's a deceptive engagement!
You and your stupid pop-culture references.
She's been equalized!
Now that Amon Starlight has taken away her bending magic, how will Korra Twilight protect Republic City Equestria?
I'm not even going to ask.
What? They were practically begging for it.
You know, at this point, I would have just decked her in the nose, then took her staff and smacked her around.
To be continued...
This has to be the coolest end transition scene I've ever... seen. Homophones. Anyway, I thought it was really epic in a dun, dun, duuuuun way. A visual cliffhanger if you will.
Part II... NOW!
There's no bathroom in here!
Sitting in a room. Listening to propaganda play with no interruptions. And no bathroom. The brainwashing makes sense now.
Also, that propaganda is hilarious. If you weren't feeling the communism and Marxism vibes before, you better be feeling it now.
Don't you just want to hug her?
I mean, when you think about it, they're practically stripping away their identities. I think this could be filed under 'cruel and unusual punishment.'
"Even tweets don't make sense anymore."
Ha! It's funny 'cause I don't use Twitter.
Her lack of countryisms is secretly a relief for everyone else.
So what we've learned today is that Applejack's cutie mark only makes her good at bucking things and making up country sayings. She may have gotten the short stick here.
Subliminal messaging.
DHX is doing a very good (readmystories) job with their subliminal messaging. It's really the little (readmystories) things that drive it home.
They're also doing well (readmystories) with their foreshadowing. If Meadowbrook (readmystories) and her eight enchanted items don't pop up throughout the season (readmystories) I'll be disappointed.
Peer pressure.
Remember, kids, just say no.
And this is why.
Well, she convinced me. She looks like a brainwashed zombie.
And of course, you'd know what that looks like—OW!
Aiming for the face next time.
Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
I really liked the moral dilemma Fluttershy is put in here. Either sell somebody out for the sake of her mission, or keep her morals and give up the act. I really wished they would have followed through so she had to make that choice.
That little whimper there was adorable.
This pony seems a few buffalo short of a stampede.
Oh, nice one.
Thank you. Threw one out there since Applejack is in dispose.
And if you look to your left... like just tilt your head two inches...
I can't say Fluttershy is very good at stealth, because her entire head is in the window frame! Yet, she must be doing something right. I call hax.
Smiling faces, smiling faces tell liiiiiies. And we've got proof.
Because we're all equal! Some are just more equal than others.
Suuuuspeeeeeciioooous.
So, she doesn't see Fluttershy when she's pressed against the window but the second she inhales, she's on high alert. Reminds me of tales from Skyrim.
Oh God.... the amount of jokes.
If this isn't a meme by the end of the week, I will be vastly disappointed.
Hey, that's the face you make whenever you're talking about ponies to someone else!
That's.... only partly true... yeah...
Wooow... she missed.
That was a great moment for Fluttershy, really showed her taking charge and being bold, and a nice shout out to season 2. Which is why I was so sad when she missed.
Or did she?
If one drop did that, I'm guessing Starlight never comes outside for sprinkler parties or free punch.
Is she mad? She seems mad.
That one line. "I created Harmony." That one line is the reassurance I need that something much bigger was going on here. This was only part of Starlight's plan.
So just how far does the rabbit hole go? We'll find out in due time.
I mean, damn.
TFW Twilight's never been interrupted during a friendship lecture before.
I gotta be honest, I would have loved to be the one to do that. So I have to give some respect to Starlight for totally cutting Twilight off. That face? Priceless.
Let the Rainbow remind you... wait...
It's like a prison break, only with cutie marks.
I thought this was oddly adorable.
Even the little sounds she makes are cute. It's okay Rarity, you tried.
I want them.
Heaven help Equestria if these two and Cheese Sandwich ever get together. While eating sugar.
Slow and steady.
Insult to injury. Rainbow cannot fly fast and is being outrun by land ponies. Starlight's magic doesn't just take your talent away, it makes you godawful at everything. Can't compete if you all suck, right?
A snow pie did that.
What the freak is in those things?
Snow.
... Stop trying to be cute.
Snow's up dude.
Alternatively, Double Diamond used Avalanche.
It's super effective.
I think she's happy.
She looks so adorable, but at the same time, I have to imagine that's painful to some degree. Look at her legs! Is that natural?
Animators at it again.
Look at those magic effects! So stunning! Very wow!
Aaaaand Bored.
I was kinda hoping she'd cut Twilight off again. But I guess we need a friendship lecture somewhere in here.
Cheesy joke, everyone laughs. How cliche.
So Starlight escaped. She'll be back. I know she'll be back. Either scattered throughout the season or just for the finale, she'll be back. Hooray for a recurring villain!
And there was much rejoicing!
Well, that's that. We got the long one out of the way.
Yep, and I thought it was a great episode! It's exactly what I wanted after Twilight's Kingdom. There wasn't an epic battle scene or, to Rainbow's lament, an evil monster. It was, at its heart, a clash of two different philosophies, albeit, one of them twisted to fit one's personal agenda. I love epic battles, don't get me wrong; those of you reading Sunset of Time are in for a doozy, but MLP doesn't need a fight every premier and finale. So I'm hoping the ending to this season plays out something like this.
Giving it a 10/10?
Not many episodes get a 10 from me. They'd have to do everything perfect or have me rolling on the floor laughing. This came close though, so I'll give it a 9.5/10. Now onward! We got 24 more episodes to look to!
...We never got the name of that damn place!
And another person I have to disagree with. Honestly, my biggest problem is this never felt like a fight of ideologies, especially since, lets face it, all of the evidence we are given here shows that all this is is brainwashing. It also requires a fuck ton of plot convenience for the second episode, and the consistency goes right out the window constantly, mainly with the equalizing's effect on the mane 6 versus the rest of the town.
But of course, communism be praised I guess. Not in a great mood today, so all I'll say positive is that some of the jokes work making it okay, but it hurts as a story.
HA HA HA! I enjoyed your review! I hope there will be an update on Long Road to Friendship soon. I'm glad you had fun at the convention, too!
>tfw it became a meme almost immediately after the episode
seriously, just look up the tag "i didn't listen" on derpi.
I'll say from the start - for the consistency in the placement of the thrones, they're in the same relative position to each other, just flipped, so it's possible they just entered the room from the opposite door.
A very apt comparison, given that Jonestown was probably one of the inspirations for The Village.
My first thought when watching this was also Legend of Korra, well second. The actual first was Animal Farm.
What I enjoyed about Starlight is how she truly is Twilight's parallel in her own way. While Sunset Shimmer can be seen as a mirror of what Twilight could have been like as Celestia's student, Starlight is very much what Twilight could have been like if she never was Celestia's student at all.
If she never understood the magic of friendship and instead tried to spread harmony with nothing but her brain. Starlight certainly is intelligent, but she completely misses the 'forest for the trees' very much like Twilight can (e.g. "If I can't fix a problem, I'll make one!"). She also, like Twilight, can completely lose her top when things don't go her way. While Twilight never bellowed "QUIET!!!", she did literally catch on fire one time.
And why? because Pinkie wasn't conforming to her world-view. Pinkie's behavior simply wasn't meshing with her viewpoint and she spent the entire episode refusing to accept it until she couldn't ignore it anymore. Sounds quite familiar!
Starlight ultimately was a villain in her own right here and had to be stopped. Would I say she's a terror like Tirek? no, I wouldn't. Time will tell where the writer's go with her but there is ultimately the potential for her to be reformed considering that she's not inherently evil. The problem was simply her worldview and the Magic of Friendship has the tendency to help change that sooner or later.
2961873
You have a Twitter? Where can I find it?
2966341 No, I don't. That was the joke.
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Like this?
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Tactical Stomp inbound
It was super effective
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20150406101236/mlp/images/thumb/a/a2/Pinkie_flattened_by_boulder_S5E1.png/640px-Pinkie_flattened_by_boulder_S5E1.png
Pinkie has joined her family in the afterlife, let us all have a moment of silence.