I Habe Cancer B0ss · 10:22pm Jan 24th, 2015
Okay, this post isn't actually making fun of cancer. Cancer is some pretty serious shit, kills millions every year... it's an epidemic that steals far too many peoples' hopes and dreams away before they have a chance to do anything. Cancer is fucking horrific when it strikes.
What I despise is not cancer jokes. Joking about serious matters doesn't make one inherently more or less callous; in a way, it's giggling at the ghosties, which Pinkie thinks is a good thing. Being fucking terrified 24/7 isn't going to help anyone.
That's why things like these are jokes:
One of the most devastating moments in US history and one of the most brutal and genocidal dictators of all time--certainly in recent memory. Yes, jokes exist of both of these, and yes, people can find them funny. Cancer jokes can be funny too, regardless of what your personal reservations may be.
This blog post isn't about jokes, though. It's about when it's not a joke.
Have you guys heard of TgTfProductions? This is one of the shining examples of what happens when it's not a joke... but it's still not true. The whole thing, while it was happening, was pretty heart-wrenching to some... but a few things seemed quite enigmatic, so the mods dug into it and found out he was a fucking liar. He'd lied about having cancer to everyone, as far as can be told from our standpoint. He's made numerous alts trying to be a cyst on the backside of the site and burden everyone with his memory (of being stabbed in the back, not beloved of the people). The most we could possibly hope for is that he forgets who he was and becomes who he wants to be, then decides to force himself back onto the site with no old strings attached, rather than try to ride on his infamy. No one cares when they don't know who you were.
One thing that should be taken incredibly seriously, no matter what, is cancer when it really happens. It's not a joke, it's not a simple thing you can shrug off before moving on with your day, and it's not something you can sympathize with someone about--unless, of course, you have cancer. It is one of the most sobering things anyone can be told, that they are now on a time limit and have only so long to live. It's right up there with death of a loved one and a baby that you want with every fiber of your being miscarrying. It's horrible, and no one can ever possibly understand what someone else is going through when they have cancer.
That, then, begs the question: Why would anyone ever deign it necessary to bring such a thing to FIMFiction? I get that some people don't have much in their personal lives, but... why share that? All that's being gained at that point is undeserved attention. Death happens to everyone; it just doesn't happen on a time limit to most of us. Some die sooner, some die later. Bringing attention to the fact that you have cancer doesn't remedy the issue, nor does it exacerbate it; it just gets people to say, "Holy shit, I wish I could help you, here's an internet hug."
I can understand sharing it with close friends on the site, but trumpeting it to the world isn't going to get you commiseration, closure, or heartfelt confession. You're going to fucking die in a few months. Why aren't you, like, out skydiving, or rock climbing without a harness, or lassoing sharks? Living life before you're gone forever is kind of a thing that people do when they have cancer, before they're bedridden and whatnot.
That, as far as I can tell, is the prerogative of the majority of cancer patients. Once their cancer gets bad enough, they take punch after punch of chemotherapy, spend what small amount of time they have outside of chemo with loved ones and very close friends, and generally don't worry about a fanfiction website. Cancer is not a common thing, even on a site with so many users, and in regards to how common it really is, it's not something to blog to your followers about. It's death staring you right in the face, and the majority of users here are going to be too busy clopping or reading a new chapter of The Chase (or both, if you're reading the lost chapters) to consider their own fragile mortality and how easy it would be for them to get cancer.
There's some illustration of humanity underestimating the likelihood that bad things will happen to them and overestimating the likelihood that bad things will happen to others, known as optimism bias. The people who don't have cancer claiming they have cancer... they're convinced that cancer won't happen to them that they're willing to lie about such a thing for attention. If they actually did get cancer, I can imagine their reaction would be starkly different than what happens when they pretend so people will talk to them.
Wait, where did all this come from? I'm not one to think critically about cancer. It's one of those joke things that I laugh about from time to time, but I don't typically enjoy talking about such a downer.
Enter the blog post which greeted mine eyes this morning. Now, I know reverse looking up based on a few phrases is relatively easy, but for the love of fucking Princess Celestia, don't confront this person if you're that desperate. Let the moderators handle it if it's a problem. You aren't a vigilante.
Now, I can't guarantee you 100% that this is a falsification. I question the person's motivation to post a blog if it is completely true, but I have my reasons for believing it's false. Reasons like this:
Posting a blog after taking "pills." After a suicide attempt, someone's next idea is to post a blog on FIMFiction about how turrible their life is. Then, 45 minutes later, to post while the EMTs are packing them into an ambulance. Yes, because EMTs would let you text on your phone while you're in imminent danger. Or post a quick blog on your computer letting your followers on a fanfiction site know why you're going to be gone for a little while. I just can't suspend my disbelief hard enough not to be absolutely skeptical.
Oh, you want more?
The bottom blog is, of course, more "I'm fucking dying" talk. Towel on their arm soaked in blood, sitting in a waiting room (which, by the way, would be classified as a fluid spill of some sort and probably not include a person sitting in a waiting room as that puts everyone in the hospital in danger), and they're posting a blog while fighting away dizziness from blood loss. Completely coherent, seemingly unhurried in their words. Because grammar matters.
Then, in the blog directly above, 4 hours after the first blog, they post a blog about themselves. Unexplainable British accent, despite the fact that accent primarily has to do with who spoke around you during language development. Transgender, apparently. Edgy 17-year-old. Protective of friends. Despite the fact that, 4 hours ago, this person was dizzy from blood loss in a hospital that doesn't properly handle fluid spills and releases patients who have lost large amounts of blood hours after they check in, so that those patients can post blogs on fanfiction sites about themselves and their made-up British accents.
I mean, maybe I'm completely mistaken here and this person just got diagnosed with terminal cancer. Proof of such a thing would be cool, but I'm fairly certain there isn't any proof of the cancer, or the hospital bills, or why this hospital hasn't been sued into oblivion due to malpractice lawsuits from everyone in that clinic that has more than a dozen brain cells.
tl;dr Stop lying about cancer. Seriously, what the fuck.
Time to keep watching and waiting.
That's it.
I'm out.
screw this. Last time I gAve a single fuck about someone
>tfw internet
2744690
Ooh, that wasn't the message of my blog post at all!
th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/323/d/7/pinkie_pie_western_dance_dress_by_paperfox92131-d5lhp2f.png
I'm not sure what you're looking for here.
Prefer a lie, maybe? Or angry at the liar? I prefer to share the positive, but this was just eating at me. 
Sorry if I bothered you.
2744728
It's not a question of beforehand and after the fact. It's the toying with the emotions of the now. Like I said about TgTf, I don't care if he's around, he just shouldn't expect a warm reception if we know it's him. He made a lot of people care, then he shat all over their feelings because of his lie. It doesn't feel good.
2744736
You could say that, certainly.
2744748
Hey, just because I got a nose for the truth, that doesn't mean I'm callous. I take careful consideration of what I'm seeing and why, and this hurts somebody. People who feel and care deeply put a lot of emotional investment in things like this, and the sociopath making the claims just cares about being noticed. It's the worst thing to do to someone who cares about their fellow human being.
Lying isn't inherently a bad thing. If it's not hurting anyone, that's all well and good. It's when it hurts someone. And this hurts.
EDIT: Also, you should probably delete that.
2744761 Why would I want to delete it..?
ye
2744817
i c wut u did thar
2744822
:^)
changed my mind after I posted it, didn't want people to think i was looking for sympathy or something. It's personal shit and I'd rather keep it off this website. Cancer jokes are still pretty funny tho
2744824
I understand.
2744826
thanks m80
2744794
I actually made a blog post about suicide a while back... was because I'd been seeing and hearing quite a bit at the time. The popularity seems to ebb and flow.
You mean sheer volume of people talking about attempting and not succeeding? Yeah, it seems pretty glorified as a way to get attention nowadays.
Very few people are so bad at faking it though, and since humans are for the most part naturally trusting, it's very hard to try and say they're lying without feeling like an asshole for the small chance they aren't.
2744991
They have bigger things to consider, like their impending mortality. Not a fanfiction site.
My question at that point is, "Why are you wasting your time making a blog about having cancer?" I just can't imagine someone diagnosed with cancer feeling the compulsion to make a blog post on FIMFiction for people to feel sorry about them.
Maybe I'm putting too much stock into priorities of others. I don't see this site taking precedence over someone's drive to do something with their life. Mostly because I haven't heard about it happening yet.
Cancer claims, though... those seem more frequent, and all too often, shrouded with suspicion. 
2745002 Some people just like sharing facts about their life with the masses. Rainbow Bob shared that he was in a car crash, which is kind of similar. People claim to have cancer to get attention, and unless they're really, really bad at lying(like you example above was), there's no real way to disprove them.
2745008
Crap, I deleted the reply I was making. Let's try this again.
Yeah, you're right, I think. RainbowBob's blog seemed more an explanation of what was going on and why he wasn't very active (with proof) to a site that loves him. Even with that, I didn't approve so much. I feel really bad burdening those who come for entertainment with worry about me and how I'm doing, but I will say that Bob's blog wasn't shameless and I don't hold it against his character.
TgTf was a fairly similar situation, and I hate that he turned out to be an example of the worst in humanity. I can certainly see the ability of users here to not just post blogs for attention, but for their readers.
I guess it's not a hard and fast rule. It's a question of the why, the attitude, and the reasons.
2745057
Thank you for that.
2745120
You watch Filthy Frank?
I love that guy
Yeah, I had the same thoughts when I saw that, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions.
2745699
I try not to jump to conclusions; TgTf just reminded me of the worst that can be found in people, and I am especially skeptical of claims that one has cancer. Until I see enough to convince me that the person is lying, I obviously won't randomly tell people who say such things that they're lying until proven to be telling the truth... but some, it's easy enough to figure out. For the person I illustrated in this blog, it was obvious.
About the same reason why I dislike abuse jokes. Seriously they are not funny they need to stop joking about this crud.
2745990
It all depends on where you want to draw the line. Joking about cancer isn't very tasteful, no, but it can be valuable help in the form of laughter for many.
Giggling at the ghosties can be a great medicine.
If I had cancer, I think I'd want my headstone to say, "Sorry for becoming literal cancer," when it killed me (because I won't survive chemo, I'm a real pussy). It's a joke on the internet, when someone is being a problem, telling them that they are literal cancer. I think... the jokes about me being cancer would help me cope. At least I'd be able to laugh at the thing cutting my life short. I'd rather die remembering the funny than the serious and the sad.
Every once in a while, I run across jokes that make me cover my mouth compulsively. Like, they're so offensive, I cover my mouth, but I'm still laughing. Jokes like this:
dudelol.com/img/this-is-the-first-911-joke-ive-actually-laughed-at.jpg
The majority of the United States still cries over this and doesn't move on. The jokes, to me, are a coping mechanism of sorts. It's no longer the big, scary thing the terrorists intended it to be. It's not so terrible that I can't stand the thought of it. It's become a joke through proliferation of funny pictures on the internet.
Abuse can be the same way, as strange as it sounds.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2c/d7/1e/2cd71e4dd47eccba3d7f8f8ae8025642.jpg
cdn0.dailydot.com/uploaded/images/original/2013/6/3/abuse.png
democraticaudit.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/onlinemisogyny2.jpg
As much as you dislike the jokes, the simple fact that they exist is proof enough that not everyone finds such things as distasteful as you do. We're all different people and we all find different things funny or not funny. Trying to impress our own beliefs on others (for example, I laughed at the first of those three pictures with the chickens, but did not laugh at the other two) isn't an advocation for co-existence, it's a way to try to control the freedom to choose what's funny or not funny that others have. We don't have to share in the humor, but we ought to respect that not everyone thinks like you or I do.
The problem here is not the jokes. The jokes can be medicine all on their own, helping people cope with things that they've never been able to look at in that light before.
The problem is when it isn't a joke. Someone claiming they were abused and lying about it is what I'm talking about. Imagine a friend telling you they've been getting abused by their parents, and you're being supportive and caring of their situation, then you come to find out they were not abused at all. That's backstabbing, man. And that's far worse than a joke.
2744744 no, that's not it. I just...
I always care about everybody on here.
I always try to help evry songle one of you. to be there as a friend when they need me. but I seem to care to much. there is no single day, everyone is happy. understandable though. but still. I wish everyone is happy for just, one single moment. no negative blogs, or complaining. Just, saying how wonderfull their life is. even if it's not much, see the beauty of the small things in life.
this whole thing... I care to much. Caring can help, but it brings a lot of stress with it. I've been dealing with other peoples problems, and once they are solved, they dissapear....
so. I wish I could stop caring. to not give a single living f*** anymore. so I can be happy for once.
this blog didn't tell me that. it pulled the trigger, to say F*** this, for once. I simply can't take any problems, any lies anymore. I always gave people the best, and it cost me my time and effort. my happiness...
what I try to say is, that everyone is sad once in a while. some more then others. some with a good reason, some with a bad reason. and I will always help those who need me. but if it's going this way, I can feel to groups boiling up. one who thinks Demon is lying, one, thinks we should help. and that... breaks friendships. the intention why we're all here.
let us forget our sadness, just for one day. one single day. and be happy and greatfull for what we have. because I am sick of rumours, lies and complainings.
but... who am I?
2748036
This blog post is not my standard caliber of blog. I typically make them in reaction to something I saw or did on this site, a point I'm mulling over and need to get my thoughts out on, and decide it's probably good enough to post a blog about. There's a few things I opt out of the blog with, too, though. 
Well, for your information, I am generally happy most all of the time and do not intend to go away any time soon.
2748457 alright then
"Well, you know the old formula, tragedy = comedy + time..."
Scoots, I've told you my problems, right?
I told you. I don't see the point in broadcasting the fact that 'Oh! I'm dying and want attention and this is a lie 'cause I don't understand that it's insensitive to lie about having these diseases that I don't really know anything about!'
Sure, I have made blogs talking about some things that have happened in my life, but I made those when it wasn't anything to serious and because I don't have anywhere else to say those things. My point is: Some people will tell a total cock-and-bull sob story to draw attention to themselves because they're bored and lonely.
2762114
I know some about your problems. I also know that you don't like to whine about how tough you have it in life. You have self-respect, unlike this person.
OK People who lie about Cancer and whatever else kills people are sick whats next someone tells there followers they got Ebola? ugh this worlds so dumb at times.
Long story short: Some turd, desperate for the meretricious laudations of anonymous yes-men, lies about himself having a terminal illness. And he shouldn't do that.
Well, shit, dude. That's about 1/3 of all blog posts on this site.
2751182
Your statement made me hard. I'm gonna' follow you so fuckin' good, gurl.
2885077 please darling my anus is already baboon red
2885170
Taking you from behind.
I am The Eternal Ketamine Wizard.
2885183 god h8 fags tho
And magic nd wizards
2885187
I am a wizard. You are now a woman. All is well with Yahweh this day.
2885199 that transition was quicker than a bad HiE fic.
2885226
Stop critiquing and take my flesh-flavored dipstick.
2885229 my bagina is too discerning for such a crude dipstick ,milord <<<D
2885246
I've never been shot down by a hermaphroditic troglodyte before. Huh. First time for everything I guess.
2885260 Indeed.
You're smart. I'm assuming you evaluated my depression issues as believable.
3130645
Whenever I hear about something that doesn't sound quite believable, I do what research I can into the issue.
If my results are inconclusive, I usually just ignore the issue at hand.
If my results are positive, meaning the person doesn't appear to be behaving in a manner consistent with their claims (mostly gut instinct on human interaction and how people react to different types of news), then I usually say something about it and do what I can not to make a scene, but still call the liar out on their bullshit. I'll also typically start following the person and add them to my pending banned list; the follow is so I can track if they say anything post-"death" and laugh even harder.
If my results are negative, meaning the person as far as I can tell is behaving in a manner consistent with their claims, then I usually will end up following that person, not adding them to my pending banned list, and try to offer some advice on how to get through whatever difficulties they're experiencing.
3130660 Interesting (and hilarious) technique you have their. I assume I feel into the "negative" category with my "I'm Sorry to Bother You Guys Again" blog.
3130680
I spoke with you about your issues, I do believe; you can safely assume you are in the negative category if that criteria is fulfilled.
3130721 Unrelated to our above comments, let's marvel at some people's twisted perspective of entertainment.
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Bored now.