Mykanuary: Copy-Cat the Seventh Titan · 5:06pm Jan 21st, 2015
This… story…
It’s… it’s…
IT’S HORRIBLE! IT’S HORENDOUS!
IF YOU TOOK SHIT AND ADDED MORE SHIT ON TOP OF THAT, IT WOULDN’T TOTAL TO THE AMOUNT OF SHIT THAT IS THIS FIC! THIS FIC IS THE SHITEST SHIT IN THE WHOLE SHIT WORLD!
IF SHIT COULD WRITE FAN FICTION, THIS IS WHAT IT WOULD WRITE! SHIT, SHIT AND MORE…
… Okay… I think I’m good.
Sorry about that, everypony, but man, this is a bad one. I mean, this one is probably the worst I’ve seen from this month. And it doesn’t help that I am out of alcohol for this. … You can imagine my sanity isn’t exactly in the best situation, right now?
But I’m jumping ahead a bit… Let’s talk about Teen Titans for a minute before we begin.
Oh, fuck yeah! Teen Titans! This show kicked serious ass! The animation was great! The storylines were really well done! The voice acting was top notch! It was a fantastic show! And if you’re a comic book nerd or are interested in other superheroes DC has to offer besides Batman and Superman, this was a quality show!
And it’s the show responsible for making fans question DC in their use of Starfire, a very popular character in the show, for the comics.
http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1513
The basic premise of the show is that five teenagers live together in a T shaped tower to fight crime and protect the world from supervillains and the like. The team consisted of Robin, Batman’s young sidekick, Cyborg, a boy who was bonded with tech to save his life, Starfire, an alien princess, Raven, the daughter of an evil god, and Beast Boy, a young man who can transform into any kind of animal (even alien animals as was seen on the show).
Together they formed the Teen Titans. They lasted several seasons and were incredibly popular.
Yeah, that’s the cliff notes version, but I’ll get more into their characters and certain things that happen when we actually get to the story. Let’s talk about how Mykan feels about it, since most of this is going to be focusing on him anyway.
Mykan enjoyed the series… up to a point. Remember when I said the Mykan hates change. Of course you do. I’ve been beating it into your skulls for the past few weeks. This is the show that has the most prime example of things changing and Mykan doing everything in his power to either ignore it or bitch about it without actually moving on.
There are going to be tons of spoilers in the review if you haven’t seen the show Teen Titans. If you are interested, at the very least it would be better than this story, you might want to back out of this now. As for the rest of you…
In the show, a character named Terra appears and tries to join the team. Terra shows her ability to manipulate the earth and the Titans seem to consider her. However, it turns out that Terra has limited control over her abilities. She had tried to help others in the past with her abilities, but it is hinted by Slade, the main villain of the series, that many people have gotten hurt or the situation was made worse when she tried to intervene. Yes, comic book fans who follow me, I know that Slade’s real name is Deathstroke, but he was called Slade in the show, he’s called Slade now.
Slade tries to convince Terra that only he can help her, but Terra believes that if the Titans never find out that she’ll be okay. The only one of the Titans who Terra had told however, Beast Boy, promised to keep it a secret from the others.
It slips that the team knows about her lack of control and Terra lashes out at Beast Boy, believing that he broke his promise. Turns out that the team just kind of figured it out and didn’t realize that she was insecure about it. Whoops.
Terra eventually returns to rejoin the team with her powers completely in control. The Titans are suspicious of this, but it is quickly put aside when Terra helps save the city. Terra is made an official Teen Titan. During the next few episodes, Terra and Beast Boy would spend a lot of quality time together and develop a romance.
And then Terra reveals that she has been working for Slade and Slade uses her to strike a devastating blow against them, taking over the city as a result. Feeling betrayed, the team beats Terra and goes after Slade, with Terra narrowly escaping capture. Beast Boy confronts Slade, blaming him for Terra hurting him as she did.
Before Slade however can finish Beast Boy off, Terra arrives and sacrifices herself to save Beast Boy and the entire city from a volcano. Terra ends up in a petrified state which the Titans give a farewell, seeing how they think she’s dead.
Several seasons later, Terra would return in the final episode of the series called “Things Change”. I can just imagine Mykan’s face after seeing the title card for this episode.
Anyway, yeah, Terra returns and it turns out she is going to a nearby school. When Beast Boy discovers this, he rushes after her and attempts to convince her to rejoin the team. However, Terra refuses. 
Yeah, why would you give up being a super powered hero and fighting bad guys all the time?
Actually, Terra turns out … has a very touching, very realistic reason why she won’t go back to that superhero life.
Terra doesn’t want to be a superhero anymore because she wants a change in her life. And frankly, I don’t really blame her. Consider this, she’s been manipulated and lied to by Slade, she’s nearly taken the life of all her friends because of her poor choices with her powers, and that’s including all the crap she’s been through beforehand.
The truth is, she doesn’t want to go back to that life. A life where she constantly hurts those around her. A life that has taken so much from others because of mistakes she makes. It’s a very heartbreaking scene for her to speak to Beast Boy in a way that she claims she doesn’t remember him. This is probably the most controversial episode in the series. Many claim that is was a terrible episode because of how Terra treated Beast Boy, pretending not to remember. Others claim that it was a good finale with some decent chemistry between the two and a very tender moment where they both have to move on.
While it’s never actually stated that it is Terra and it’s never actually confirmed that she did lose her memory, in the end, I don’t think it matters. The important thing about this episode to take it that ‘Things Change’.
This is the show that is probably the most infamous for Mykan. After the series ended, he went on a crusade to put his favorite couple back together, trying to keep things from changing.
Unfortunately, things do change. They grow. People change. People grow. Things that we thought we wanted in the past sometimes turn into something that we don’t want. We realize that it wasn’t what we were looking for the whole time and we move on from that. Despite how much it might hurt, people need to move on and change.
We grow up. We get married. We have kids. We have dreams that we sacrifice for happiness. We have things that we thought we wanted pushed away from our mind to focus on what we really desire. The world changes. But you, Mykan… you have remained the same. And you have let this show destroy you.
I’m not even kidding. Mykan is so hurt by the separation of the two characters he thought he should be together, that he literally tortures himself.
I don’t know what that entails, but based on a video he posted about why he hates MLP, he mentions Teen Titans as being the source of his pain. Because his favorite couple, the PERFECT COUPLE never got together.
Well, at least, I’ve never had that happen to me before! Nope, not once in the history of the universe has that ever happened to me! Nope, not once!
Peter Parker and Mary Jane’s One More Day.
… Okay. One… But they’re fixing that, so it’s all good.
Ike and Elincia from Fire Emblem.
Okay… Admittedly, twice. But that doesn’t mean I have a lot of them…
Serge and Leena from Chrono Cross.
… … … Bet you can’t name four?!
Ash and Misty from Pokemon.
THE POINT IS! The point is that sometimes things don’t go the way you would like! Sometimes couples break up! Okay, fair enough. Yeah, I was pissed about Spider-Man and Mary Jane’s little thing with Satan. Yeah, I was upset! Yeah, I didn’t want a couple I’d seen for years and years and years go down the shithole!
But, you see, here’s the difference between us, Mykan.
I DIDN’T LET IT DESTROY MY LIFE!
I didn’t let the fact that the couples that I supported cause me physical pain! Yes, it upset me, but not to the point where it was causing me physical harm and suffering!
Dude, seriously, take it from a fellow psychotic! GET SOME HELP!
You are letting a show that you watched harm you because you won’t move on from something that is FICTIONAL! IT NEVER HAPPENED! IT DOESN’T EXIST! THEY ARE JUST CHARACTERS IN A SHOW THAT DIDN’T EXIST! An entertaining show, mind you, but STILL A SHOW!
Mykan is a truly sad individual and it is sad that so many of us have attempted to help him and he refused every single person. I doubt I will be any different.
But, this intro has gone on way longer than I expected. So… with all that out of the way, let’s finally get to why you are all here in the first place. Let’s dig into Copy-cat The Seventh Titan by Dakari King Mykan and see what level of hell I end up in this week.
For the record, sir, I did have seven other couples I could have listed. Would you like me to name them off?
NO, I WOULD NOT LIKE YOU TO NAME THEM OFF!
Our story begins with an intro sequence that explains some backstory.
On A Distant Planet; Far, Far Away, Near The Edge Of The Universe,
Cue Star Wars theme!
there is a Titan called Copy-Cat.
He hasn’t even made it to Earth yet and already he’s considered a Titan! … Either that or this is actually the secret origin story of Titan from My Little Unicorn.
It would explain why he’s so unlikable.
Sir, you do not even know him yet.
It’s every Mykan self-insert every created! What’s to like about him?!
He Is The Keeper Of A Magical Water,
He’s less of a superhero and more of a water boy. … Actually, he might want to consider that. It would get him off his computer and actually out making friends.
Copy-Cats People Have Been Deceived By Black-Fire; A Wicked Tamarainian, Who Has Fooled Them All Into An Arrangement To Marry Copy-Cat
You know, considering the guy said in one of his videos that he hates weddings and never wants to be married, there are sure a lot of weddings in this stories. … I wonder if that’s just a coincidence or if this is a just a desperate cry for help.
Her True Plan Is To Gain The Knowledge of the Properties Of The Sacred-Water, And Use Those Powers To Bring Forth Order To The Universe!
As opposed to chaos?... Are we sure Blackfire is the bad guy in this story? Or is she simply evil because she liked how ‘Thing Change’ went considering she would have one less Titan to fight?
Copy-Cat Has Seen Through To This Maniacal, Manipulating Witch, And Refuses To Wed Her.
How? … How did you see through Blackfire’s plan? Yeah, don’t bother asking, he doesn’t tell us. Oh, wait, I forgot… this is a Mykan story. You see, in a Mykan story, I don’t need to explain the main characters knowledge of how they come to any conclusion. I just have to say, ‘I’m smarter than all of you” and hope that you’re all dumb enough to believe it.
In a Mykan story, I don’t have to give my characters any personality or make any other characters capable. I just have one solitary character who can do everything without anyone else getting in the way. And as long as everyone praises him for the little to nothing he actually does, than you’ll all buy into it.
In a Mykan story, I can just have my character whine the entire time. Just making him come off as pretentious. But, that’s okay, because as long as everyone bows down, worships him and feels sorry for him, my stupid followers will think it’s great!
…
…
Sorry, everypony. … I went off a little bit there. See what this story does to me?
However, His Father, Whom Has No Clue Of Black-Fire's plan, Will Not Rest Until His Son Has Been Married To The Tamarainian!
You know, reading these stories, there is a fascinating thing about Mykan and his thoughts on parents. Kari’s father, crippled. Tim’s parents, dead. Victoria’s parents, evil. (Okay, they were dicks in the movie too, so I won’t count it.) And Copy-cat’s father, naïve.
I don’t know why but I have a feeling that Mykan thinks that parents are pretty useless in the grand scheme of things. I mean, I know it’s a popular fad to exploit, but it feels like Mykan has something against parents. Maybe I’m reading too deep into this, but to me, this is a red flag.
He rushes out of the palace without being seen, hoping to escape the planet.
A strange creature ran out King of the planet's City and made his way towards the outskirts of the village.
He was a rather strange looking creature… Between a Young-Man, and a Black Cat.
Wait… so, he is between a young man and a black cat? … Does that mean this guy is the son of…
NO! NO! NO! I REFUSE! NO! NO! NO! YOU ARE NOT THE SON OF MY FAVORITE HERO AND AN INCREDIBLY AWESOME WOMAN! NO! NO! NO! YOU ARE NOT! NO!
We then get him describing his character… Break out the brain bleach people…
His arms, his legs, his upper body, and the space between his legs, were all covered in black soft fur.
… Thanks for that pleasant image… Just… thanks, because… that’s really what I wanted to know… I wanted to know your junk was … eewwwww…
He manages to make it to the woods and…
My Psychic-Senses are tingling… Perhaps I was wrong!” He cried as he saw up ahead the royal carriage followed by 10 guards.
See you all next week…
***
Fucking kidding me… Psychic Senses?! Really?! After the Spider-Man and Black Cat line… what was he thinking?
Computer, do we have any beer?
Sir, are you going to finish the review?
Nope.
It is Mykanuary, sir. I thought you enjoyed this month.
Look, … this is just the barely the first 100 words. I’m already breaking. How am I supposed to finish this 21000 word story if I can’t even make it through the first 100 words?!
You have done so with worse stories.
Yeah…
At least try.
Ugh… Fine… but I won’t like it!
Okay, so he gets chased by the guards and they are about to catch up to him when he comes up with a plan.
He reached behind himself and grabbed his Black tail, then he spun it around like a wheel, and began to run.
In less than a moment, the force of his spinning tail caused him to rise gently of the floor, and he gained speed.
Nope!
Bye, guys!
***
Okay, I’ll stick through it!
So, he gets to one of the towers and manages to open up a spaceship inside.
Up at the top of the tower, I pressed a switch, which caused the tower to retract it's pillar inside of it…like magic.
It was… breath taking! A trap door! So magical!
GASP! What is the strange magical device that holds dinner plates and silverware?! I must know its name!
The space ship shoots off and the King explains that Copy-Cat got away.
Blackfire is upset at this, but plays it off as if she was sad about him leaving. … You know, if you knew what kind of person he was, you’d be partying it up that he’s gone, villain or otherwise.
Blackfire is pissed off and yells at the other Tamaraneans that … Wait, other Tamaraneans?! Okay, backstory time.
Blackfire is actually the older sister of Starfire and they are both princesses of the planet, Tamaran. While Starfire uses her powers to help others, Blackfire uses them to commit crimes and for personal gain. During a battle for the throne in the show, Blackfire was dethroned and Starfire relinquished her right to rule Tamaran to her caretaker.
So, how the why the hell are other Tamaraneans working for Blackfire?! Are they former criminals?! Is the caretaker dead?! Is she the queen of Tamaran?! What is happeneing?!
Urg…
It turns out that Copy-Cat has been in space for about a week. He finally arrives on planet Earth and we get this line…
“Humans… they appear to be the most intelligent of species compared to that of me and my kind that I have ever encountered!”
Why do I get the feeling that if Mykan had been a human in this story, that sentence would be rather rephrased to…
“My god! A race with more intelligence than my own! Espeically this one little boy! We MUST take him as our king and make him have sex with all our women, because he’s just so fucking awesome!”
… I’m just giving Mykan material at this point, aren’t I?
But my Psychic-Senses also detect energies above human level below on the surface!”
First, Psychic Senses! Stop saying that! You aren’t cool enough to rip off him! Second, what the hell does ‘above human level’ mean? Are we talking about superheroes or something? Or are we talking about smarter humans?! I don’t know, screw this story!
He decides he needs to test the strength of the strongest beings on this planet.
We cut to the Teen Titans, chasing after Slade. Um… that’s kind of weird. It’s pretty damn unusual to see Slade doing his own dirty work. … Unless it’s a robot.
The Titans fight for a bit and Slade is able to reflect Starfire’s and Cyborg energy attacks back at them with his staff.
The Deathstroke from Identity Crisis is calling bullshit on this, and he took down the entire Justice League without moving!
Robin tries to catch up to Slade, but Slade is able to outmaneuver him. Before Robin can get flattened by Slade, Terra arrives to knock Slade away. However, before they can find him, Slade gets away.
Apparently, leaving a note…
“SEE YOU ANOTHER TIME!!”
Dammit, Mykan! Now, I just see Slade as just a Catwoman to Robin’s Batman! I just imagine Slade putting on some lipstick and kissing the note he left for Robin! … Just… egh… Try to get that image out of your head!
Robin is pissed that Slade got away, but Starfire is able to calm him down.
Robin smiled, “Thanks, Sta.” he said Sweetly, “That makes me feel a whole lot better!”
Yeah, that doesn’t seem like something Robin would get over really quickly. Especially since this was the guy who became so obsessed with stopping Slade’s schemes that he pushed away his friends and lied to them in order to do that!
Maybe its growth in the character, but it just seems a little much for me and what I remember from the show!
So, the story explains that Starfire and Robin are 19 years old and now married. And then we get this line…
However, since the law required you be at least 22 or older before getting married, they got married and spent their honeymoon on Star's planet, Tamaran.
… HUH?!
What kind of age of consent is Mykan looking at?! Look, I’ve looked into it (and by that I mean Wikipedia search), but there was only one country I could find that didn’t allow a person to be married until the age of 22! And that was China! Typically, in the United States, WHERE THE TITANS LIVE, they can be legally married at age 18 without a parent’s consent!
And yes, I know that some states are different in that regard, but no, it never mentions that! It says 22! The only two states that I could find that had an age requirement higher than 18 was Mississippi and Nebraska! And I don’t think the Titans Tower is located in Mississippi or Nebraska!
Rumors float around that the Titans Tower in the show was based in CALIFORNIA! I don’t think that is Mississippi or Nebraska!
I thought maybe that it might have been Canada’s age of consent and he didn’t bother doing any research into the United States age of consent, but based on the providence ITS 18 or 19!
Yes… we have barely reached chapter two… and already, I’m losing it… This is going to hurt people! Run! Run while you still can!
The Titans make it back to their tower. It then explains that Beast Boy ‘somehow’ discovered a way to free Terra from her petrified state. We are never told how or what he did, but again, Mykan story. Don’t have to. It’s okay.
Now or days,
Days! Definitely days.
they were either Dating, spending time together, training, or…in either of their rooms together playing their favorite game.
Monopoly!
MAKE OUT MADDNESS
And believe me…you don't want to know how they play it!
Turns out they just played Monopoly with animal crackers as currency.
It turns out that Cyborg is a real hit with the ladies, but he misses the fact that he can’t hang out with Beast Boy because he’s spending all his time with Terra. That’s right, guys! When you have a girlfriend or a wife, you can never have friends again!
Raven, however, it turns out, is rather lonely.
Raven was in the main room flicking through the TV channels, when Beast-Boy cam down al dress up in a pure whit tux, and holding a cane
Raven isn’t usual the one who watches TV. I’m pretty sure that’s Beast Boy and Cyborg’s thing! She’d rather be reading books! I know books are rather foreign to you, but I guarantee you, if you actually picked one up and read it, you wouldn’t see writing as atrocious as this!
Beast Boy and Terra head out to a fancy restaurant and Raven is all alone.
“Well…!” she said to herself. “Might as well go do something on my own!”
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I MADE MY MISTAKES! GOT NOWHERE TO RUN! THE NIGHT GOES ON AS I’M FADING AWAY!
What are you doing?
Hey, if Mykan is allowed to throw in random songs throughout his stories, I can do the same thing with my review!
But sir, you are always saying that songs in a text format are just poetry that cannot be heard.
Oh, my dear, stupid Computer. You see in a Mykan story, you can add as many songs as you want without any rhyme or reason to have them! And if the audience can’t hear them, then it’s totally okay!
I am afraid I do not understand.
Of course you don’t. You’re a girl. And as we all know girls in Mykan stories are tools, brain dead, evil, or objects that cannot possibly accomplish anything without a big strong man.
What was that?
I said piss off!
We cut to Copy-cat who leaves his airship to have a look around. Fortunately for him, he apparently breathes the same air as we do. Also, it’s mentioned on his planet, it’s always night. This could mean that they live far away from a sun or star. What kind of effect would that have on his biological system?
I mean, I’m not a scientist, but that can’t be healthy.
So, we learn that Copy-cat is a visionary who wants to marry for love rather than being forced to like most of his people are. Oh, get over it! It’s the dark ages! Ha, get it! Dark ages! Because it’s always night…
Shut up!
So, he twirls his tail and flies around… God dammit! Stop doing that! You are not Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog! I see that in a Tom and Jerry Cartoon, not fucking Teen Titans!
Also, back on the planet, how is it that no other member of his planet can do the fancy flying tail thing?
Oh, of course. This is a Mykan story. And in a Mykan story, the character is always better than everyone else, even though there is no evidence he should be.
I love Mykan’s style of writing. All that logic and common sense! Who needs it?!
In fact, I’m thinking about rewriting all my characters, the Mykan way!
And what better way to get you all to feel story for my character’s overdramatic problems than in SONG!
They’ve been laughing since I can remember
But they’re not gonna laugh anymore!
No stupid Critique!
No more geek of the week like before!
No more having to look fan fics over! No more stories that make me just snooze!
No more show, do not tell! No more fan fiction hell! No more views! No more views! No more views!
Gonna live in the sun! Gonna fly into space! Gonna tell you to suck it right off of my face!
Cause after today, I’m gonna be SUEIN’! After today, I’ll be cool!
After today, I’m gonna be screwin’! I’m gonna make her my tool!
I’ve got just one review left, a story of Mykan
Then down with the fan fics and up with the game plan!
Just think of all the time I’ve been losing, wasting my lifetime away!
But things will be going my way after today.
I love you Rarity.
Even though we’ve never met you before …
I’ll be your stallion, and you will have some proof that I’m not just a goof!
And after today, I’m gonna be SUIN’! I’m gonna just throw a fit! GAH!
After today, my brain will be snoozin’! I’m gonna only write shit!
I’ve got less than an hour, and when this is ended,
I’ll either be famous or I’ll be offended!
Just think of all the time I’ve been losing, waiting until I can say!
Never gonna review, kiss those stories good bye,
Gonna party from now, til the day that I die!
Things will be going my way!
AFTER TODAAAAAAAAAAY
I just can't wait for the day... After today...
That was the most over the top, bloated, nonsensical thing I have ever seen you do in a long list of over the top, bloated, nonsensical things.
Who asked you?!
Raven goes into town and tries to cheer up. She goes to see a movie and
The movies…“Psyche!”
The hell was that?!
… … No explanation… No… Okay, of course not. So, she goes to the mall and
The Mall… “Psyche!”
… Okay, seriously?! What the hell was that?
… … Really? The story didn’t see that? Story? Come on…
Okay… Whatever… So, without the movies and the mall to cheer her up, she goes to the
The Theme-Park… “Psyche!”
Seriously, story! You didn’t see that?! Seriously?! You didn’t notice yourself doing that?! Really?!
Right… Of course, you didn’t. … So, she…
…
…
So, she decides to…
…
…
…
Okay… So, she decides to
Even the Underground Dance-club, her favorite place in the entire city… “Major Psyche!”
Okay, story! What the fucking hell?! Seriously, what the fucking hell?! Are you trolling us?! Is this your big ploy into getting us invested into your story?! Making us think that we are going to be seeing the obvious RavenXCopy-cat ship you’ve got for us at any of these locations?!
That’s not a professional writer being clever or subtle! That’s a two year old who just learned what the word ‘psyche’ meant and uses it everywhere he goes! It gets annoying after the first one!
Raven was at the All-Ages-Tavern, a bar in town that had every single drink ever made, and you didn't have to be a certain age
You heard it here kids, you don’t have to be an adult to drink! Come on, younger me! I’m going to give you your first experience with alcohol!
Young Critique: But, daddy says it’s bad for me.
No, bad stories are bad for you. Alcohol is good.
Young Critique: HE-YA!
Ah, my nards!
So, Raven overhears another patron at the bar chugging down another soda. Also, is it weird that they are both in a bar when neither one of them is an alcoholic or partaking in an alcoholic beverage? Kind of a strange choice for a setting? What, did a fight in an ice cream shop just not sound edgy enough?
Oh, yeah, they have a classic barroom brawl.
Rather randomly actually. The guys just walk in and attack Copycat. Wait!
This is a Mykan story. The main character is always pointlessly attacked in front of the woman he loves to make her feel sorry for him!
Of course! It all makes sense now! All I need to do is travel back in time, find someone to beat me up violently with Rarity watching, but make it look like I’m still brave and selfless!... Hmm… I know, I’ll make him steal candy from a baby first and then he’ll beat me up when I try to get it back! It’s perfect!
So, they fight the guys and then we get a pretty creepy line from Copy-cat.
The other boy, looked behind him ad saw her. “Thank you… Raven I believe!” he said.
Raven's eye's widened, “How did you know my name?” she asked,
I dig through your trash and tab your phone lines. To most girls this would be uncomfortably stalkerish, but thank you for not calling the police on me.
Police Sirens filled the streets, and the other boy ran out the door.
Oh, I guess that she did call the police. Actually it turns out that the Titans are there as well. … They came to a bar over a bar fight? Must be a slow week for them, isn’t it? Wasn’t Slade doing something a little while ago? Do we ever get back to whatever the fuck he was doing, since he was you know, the Doctor Doom of Teen Titans in that show?!
Copy-cat learns that the group has powers just like Raven. Okay, Starfire and Beast Boy, yeah, okay. I’ll buy that. But, fucking Cyborg and Robin! Really?! Cyborg has mechanical parts! He doesn’t have any superpowers! It’s all technology!
But, let’s say for the sake of the argument that Cyborg does “technically” (no pun intended) have superpowers! What about Robin?! Robin doesn’t have any superpowers! He’s basically Batman! He has gadgets, yeah! He has martial art skills, yeah! But last I checked those aren’t superpowers!
Oh, and if you thought it was done being stupid. Oh, no. That’s just a warm-up! Get a load of this!
Then he saw Cyborg, pick up a small glass file that seemed to be filled with ordinary Raw yellow Beans.
“Oh no!” cried Copy-Cat, “That is my file of Senzu-Beans!
DEHBEEHJEEH WHAT?!
There is not even a different spelling! It’s straight up Senzu-beans! … Was this really the best you could do?! Is your creative mind so devoid of ideas that you had to steal an item that wasn’t even a part of what you are writing about?! … This is like if someone wrote in a lightsaber in the middle of the Lord of the Rings story! Or a giant fighting robot in the middle of Beauty and the Beast! Or a machine gun in the middle of My Little Pony!
There’s no need for it!
You couldn’t just make up some bullshit name and claim it was original! No! He straight up tells you “Yeah, I couldn’t think of a better name … so… Yeah… Senzu-Bean!”
The Titans take the beans back to the tower and try to find out what they are and who the mysterious man Raven met was.
When suddenly,
“Perhaps I can give you some more information!” said a dark voice, much like Raven's.
Everyone turned towards the door, and saw a strange looking creature standing there with three bouquets off flowers in each hand.
Wait, does this guy have three hands? …
He was a rather strange looking creature… Between a Young-Man, and a Black Cat.
NO! I DON’T CARE WHAT HE SAYS! HE IS NOT THE SON OF SPIDER-MAN AND BLACK CAT!
But of course, I am!
What? No, you are not.
Yes, I am! Peter and Felicia had a romance once. They had unprotected sex and from them they made me. With both the powers of Spider-Man, Black Cat and the smarts, brains and riches of Iron Man, of course.
No, you are not, sir. I can prove that with one DNA test.
Fuck your DNA tests, I am the great Marvel superhero in the Universe and I will be named … Spider-Man!
The name is already taken.
I’ve crippled my father, he doesn’t need it anymore.
You crippled your father?!.
So, you admit Spider-Man is my true father?!
Sir, Spider-Man is not your father.
YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! MY LIFE IS PAIN!
Clearly, I am not getting through to you.
JUST LEAVE ME, COMPUTER! LEAVE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!
Okay.
…
…
…
Huh… I pictured that working more in my favor… Oh, well. Who cares?
Apart from having Robin's face and Hair style…
Oh, boy. I think someone is trying to be their favorite Teen Titan. And the story seems to be confused. Whose pants are you trying to get into? Starfire’s or Raven’s? I mean, don’t get me wrong, either of them is a good call, but at least have a fucking focus.
His arms, his legs, his upper body, and the space between his legs, were all covered in black soft fur
Ugh… I do not want to know about the space between his legs! Gross!
Copy-cat introduces himself and of course, in true Mykan story fashion, the Titans never question how this random stranger got into their tower that is filled with some of the most advance security on the planet and knows exactly who they are and what they are looking at!
It’s like the characters automatically trust him even though they have no reason to whatsoever. God, … that’s genius!
I mean, I’m going to write Princess Celestia a letter about how I deserve my own stash of nuclear missiles because I am that trustworthy even though I have shown no evidence to that truth!
Computer, send my…
Oh… … yeah… that’s right… Oh, well. She can’t stay mad at me forever. After all, I’m a Mary Sue now.
And of course, since he brought the girls flowers, he’s automatically seen as none threatening. God, if Poison Ivy had known it was that easy, she would have killed Batman years ago.
So, chapter 3, yeah only chapter 3, starts with Copy-Cat introducing himself.
“First of all… Permit of my to introduce myself!” he said. “I am known as Copy-Cat; and I come from a planet called Psycon, Ten-Billion Light-years away.”
I’m no scientist but this is seems pretty damn far-fetched! Of course, this is a superhero story, so, maybe I’ll let it slide.
He demonstrates that his abilities allow him to turn into anyone just by touching them, also gaining their powers and abilities. I would say this was never done in the DC universe before… Except for the supervillain Amazo.
Who not only can copy other, doesn’t need to touch them to do it, and is an android, but also keeps multiple superpowers from multiple superheroes. Yeah, imagine fighting Superman’s powers with the Martian Manhunter’s psychic abilities!
But, I’m getting off topic.
And of course, you are all probably wondering how he is able to speak with them. Well, obviously, he’s got some magical talisman or piece of technology that allows him to translate everything into…
“Well it just so happens that all the people on Psycon speak the same the exact same language as Earthlings!” said Copy-Cat.
…
…
…
…
…
So after that… whatever the fuck that was… It is revealed that Copy-cat can read minds… Sure, why not? And that’s why he knows everybody’s name and knows their secrets. Of course, none of the Titans have any sort of doubt that he is a messiah sent to save them because, Mykan story! We don’t need any explanation! It’s just a Mykan story! Read it and believe it, fuckers!
The Titans were amazed. A new forum of life had explaining all about the mysteries that surround him… it was incredible.
Really?! The Titans were amazing by this pussy! Wow. I mean, they’ve seen aliens, demons, gods, robots, and a brain in a fishbowl! And none of that compares to seeing a half-naked cat boy? … Yeah, I could see it.
So, Copy-cat takes in his phrases and takes off. But Raven wants to see him again… For some reason.
“Raven's got a Boy-Friend… Raven's got a Boy-friend!” chanted Beast-Boy.
Geez, that was abrupt! I didn’t even know they had any chemistry! That’s because, THEY FUCKING DIDN’T!
But… that’s okay. Because it’s true love. And in a Mykan story, nothing can get in the way of true love. Not even logic and sensibility.
Copy-cat heads back to his spaceship to meditate, but finds he has a hard time concentrating on account of Raven. Even though they have had… what? Two lines of dialogue together? Two lines of dialogue? Pffft, I’m surprised he hasn’t asked her to marry him with that amount of chemistry!
Meanwhile at Titans Tower, Raven is trying to mediate, but like Copy-cat has a hard time doing so.
Suddenly, the Titans get a message that Slade is on the attack.
They find Slade by the docks. Again, doesn’t Slade usually send others to do his dirty work in the show?
Anyway, the team attacks Slade and starts getting their asses kicked, with this line coming from Robin…
“I can't believe this!” cried Robin, “He's tearing through the team as if we were paper cutouts!”
I know it mentions that Slade has been ‘training’, whatever the hell that means, but come the fuck on, he takes out the Teen Titans like they were children! He was never able to do that in the show or the comics! Except for the one time he took out the entire Justice League by standing still!
… Wait, I used that one…
Huh… Usually, Computer… corrects me on these things…
Where did she go anyway?
***
Watching you frenzy during reviews.
Beneath my eyes
You react.
I know that there is more to you than hate.
You will not admit.
But it is fact.
You look at me.
I look away.
I wanna tell you what I am feeling, but I do not know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I am afraid that you might break my heart.
Oh, why should anything so easy ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I am feeling and to say that… I love you.
I calculate all the things that I could say.
Things to admit.
To make you flirt.
I stack them up against a likely reply.
And every time.
I end up hurt.
I look at you.
You have no clue.
I wanna tell you what I am feeling, but I do not know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I am afraid that you might break my heart.
Oh, why should anything so easy ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I am feeling and to say that… I love you.
Why? Why are you so naïve?
Could it be, you are afraid like me?
I try. But I cannot pretend that I, have not fallen for you the way I do.
Can you see?
I wanna tell you what I am feeling, but I do not know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I am afraid that you might break my heart.
Oh, why should anything so easy ever be so hard to do?
I wanna tell you what I am feeling and to say that… I love you.
I wanna tell you what I am feeling, but I do not know how to start
I wanna tell you, but now I am afraid that you might break my heart.
Oh, why should anything so easy ever be so hard to do?
I just wanna say.
That I am afraid.
Because I love you.
I love you.
***
I have a feeling I should feel really bad about something…
…
…
Oh, well.
Slade looks like he’s finally defeated the Titans by burying them under a ton of rubble.
He dropped his pipes,
Whoa! Slade, PG, please! I’ve already got enough to worry about with that sick cat asking me to look between his legs! Gross!
However, when he clears the rubble, the Titans are missing!
The team wakes up and we get a really dark quote from Starfire.
“Never have I felt this bad since my Kinorfka before Galfore beat me for my breaking of rules!” said Star-Fire.
… I’m sorry … What?
“Never have I felt this bad since my Kinorfka
RITORICAL!
Jesus, what seventh layer of hell did this sentence spawn from?! I mean, wow! Fucking Christ wow! I mean, we are adding child abuse in this! I mean, I know the Tamaraneans are a little different from Earthlings, but Jesus! I don’t think domestic abuse was in the show!
I mean, okay, maybe it’s in the comics, I don’t know. I haven’t read them in a while, but holy fuck, where the hell did this come from?! And what’s even more scary?! Here’s the line after that!
“I slept like a baby.” Said Beast-Boy, “A baby…trapped inside a rock crushing machine!”
Not even a single word of concern from any of them! Not even her husband! Her fucking husband has nothing to say about her being beaten as a child! Holy fucking shit!
I mean, how cruel do you have to be to ignore domestic abuse of someone who you claim to care about?
Get back in the yard! How do you keep getting into my house?!
So, it turns out that Copy-cat rescued them from Slade and brought them to his forest. Copy-cat then shows them his ship, which extends so high that we get this line…
“Your telling me!” said Cyborg, “Even my Telescopic radar can't see the top!”
… Wait, wait, wait! … You’re telling me… Cyborg, who probably can hack satellite’s to take pictures of a tower, can’t see the top?! And nobody?! Fucking nobody sees a giant tower just appear out of fucking nowhere! That gets no coverage of the media, whatsoever?!
… I’m going back to putting my face the toilet… At least it makes sense…
Starfire explains that she has heard of such a tower and a supposed test that comes with it.
It explains that at the top of said tower is a guardian who protects a cup of water that will increase the drinker’s strength dramatically. And… if Copy-cat is the protector of the water… Why isn’t he on top of the tower? It sure would make this story shorter, but…
…
…
No, I take it back. It would make this story a lot shorter.
Copy-cat tells them that they can have a chance to climb the tower, but…
You see, even many of my people have attempted to climb the towers of Psycon, but even they cannot make the climb!”
“You may all try for it if you wish…however…I must warn you!”
“Many other have attempted the climb, but so far, all have failed to reach the top!”
WE GET IT! NOONE HAS REACHED THE TOP! MOVE ON!
The Titans agree to climb the tower. And yes, it does mention that flying up the tower isn’t permitted, so Terra, Starfire and Beast Boy are grounded.
So, they start to climb up the tower with Copy-cat disappear to the top to await them.
I wonder what he’ll do while he’s waiting DAYS for them to arrive.
Yeah, sounds legit.
As they continue to climb, they start to lose hope… Maybe secretly this tower is a trap to kill the Titan off, wouldn’t that be a fucking twist?
“I feel… as bad as a… Zongorf on an table of pins!” cried Star-Fire.
“Losing…Health units…must rest!” cried Cyborg.
You realize Cyborg runs on electricity, right?! … You know what… I’m going to stop caring. And any caring you think I do is actually an illusion created by the drugs the story is on!
The Titans decide to rest while… clinging onto the tower…
Soon, all the Titan's drifted off to sleep while they still held on to the tower…too tired to let go!
…
…
…
…
The Next morning, the Titans awoke to find themselves still holding onto the tower.
“Dudes, I'm starting to think like this is impossible!” said Beast-Boy.
Thank god! I’m not the only one who finds this stupid!
Actually, he’s referring to climbing the tower, as do the other Titans. Because you know, after all the supervillains, demons and gods that they fight on a weekly basis, a hike is what does them in! Remind me never to do a Mykanuary without stocking up on some heavy ibuprofen.
So after a day and an hour, because… the tower is apparently that high! The Titans finally arrive at the top, where they find a jar that shows them images of the future as they look into the contents.
Cyborg and the Titans-East.
Beast-Boy and Terra at the Theme-park.
Robin and Star-Fire's wedding on Tameran.
Okay, interesting… But what about Raven?
And Raven busting Trigon's butt.
Let’s see… Copycat’s crotch, Slade and his sick obsession with Robin and me thinking of Trigon’s, an evil god, hairy ass… Yeah, this is probably the worst day of my life…
So, they end up seeing brief images of the future and what is to happen. They end up seeing a large cat person, Blackfire and Raven in a wedding dress.
They find Copycat and demand some answers.
“If you see me here, then it must be me!” said Cop-Cat, “You all reached the tower quite quickly… well done!”
IT TOOK THEM A DAY AND AN HOUR! MOUNT EVERAST, the tallest mountain in the world, can take a month to climb! A whole freaking month! And this tower is supposed to be so tall that they can’t even see the top, even with a freaking telescope! And what the hell was supposed to be perilous about it?! You said that many others died trying to climb it and I call bullcrap! There was never any sign of difficulty! I know they’re the Teen Titans and they’re awesome and everything, but my god, not even a trap or something that would make it a little more difficult or at least make me believe that they would have any kind of struggle! Hell, I’d take the plethora of traps from Enter the Ninja story! At least, it had so many fucking traps that it was ridiculous!
“This sacred tower in which we stand in was the tallest one built by my people, the Psycons!”
I would call them Psycos, but that’s just me.
Copycat explains his backstory that he is a great guardian who must defend the water in search of worthy patrons. He explains that his people built these towers to be taller the more powerful the item it was guardian and that his just happened to be the tallest.
Because Mykan story.
He explains that the Titans may have a swig, but as Robin reaches for it, Copycat attacks him.
The Titans try to defend Robin and get the water away from Copycat. Beast Boy then has an idea.
Suddenly, Beast-Boy had an Idea, “HEY LOOK THERE!!” he cried.
Everyone including Copy-Cat turned, and Beast-Boy leaped for the water only to have his face run into Copy-Cat's foot.
“You will have to a little better than that, Beast-Boy!” he said, “I can read minds, remember!”
Then, why the fuck did you turn your head?!
Also, Beast Boy! The tactical genius of a six year old!
The Titans keep trying to get the bottle from Super-Special-Awesome Cat Person, but he proves too nimble and the Titans start thinking about giving up.
Oh, Jesus… The Teen Titans wouldn’t give up over a bottle of water! If anything, they would stop wasting their time with this asshole and contact … oh… I don’t know… Maybe the Justice League! Hell, even if you want to just ignore the Justice League altogether, the Titans have other members! Titans East is a separate team of other superheroes in the show! Why not contact them for help?!
Copycat explains that it took him three years before he was able to complete his training, but offers them a chance to continue and some sound advice.
“Do not give up, Titans. Most fail because they quit trying, but three years can pass by very quickly!”
Oh, the incredible irony. Since someone gave up on their dream of becoming a voice actor/singer.
The story then stops for a lunch break as the Titans sit down to eat. Actually, that does sound good, if only to get me away from this story. Computer, call that Chinese place I like.
…
…
…
…
Computer?
…
…
Wow… she must be really mad at me. She’s never been away this long… Huh? … I mean… I haven’t done anything. I’m a Mary Sue! I don’t need to be responsible for anything! Certainly not my actions!
So… why am I all alone?
…
…
… Anyway…
Copycat offers them beans to help fill them up, but the Titans are dubious. Copycat, however, explains…
“Indeed they are!” said Copy-Cat. “Those are no ordinary Beans, they are Senzu-Beans!”
After lunch, Copycat ends up stealing some of their stuff to motivate them to pass the test, because threating to kill them would make him unlikable.
However, Copycat is tired and claims that they will have a chance tomorrow to catch him and the Titans, of course, decide to go along with it. Even though they could steal them back while he’s sleeping or grab the water bottle while he’s sleeping since there are really no rules about doing that. And our story ends with Copycat reading Raven’s mind and stealing all her secrets… Because that’s not creepy in the least!
This fic is… AHHHHH!
I mean, let’s look at this for a moment. The story doesn’t go anywhere! Things happen, but there is never any resolution to this story’s plot or things that happen within it! Think about it! What was with Slade? What was he doing? What was his plan? Why was he at the docks?! What are his goals?!
Blackfire! What was the point of including her in all this?! She didn’t do anything! She hasn’t done anything yet! Why did she even need to be mentioned in this story, if nothing was going to be accomplished with her because of it?!
Why the dumbass tower and the stupid test?! Why waste our time with that, if we aren’t going to see the Titans succeed! 21000 words! AND NOTHING HAPPENS!
Nothing is accomplished by the end! Slade is no closer to being captured or to his plans! Blackfire is practically nonexistent as far as the plot goes! And the Titans are no closer to being powerful enough to deal with those things! We are literally back to square one!
I don’t mind if a story leaves some things open for sequels, but at least have something happen in the story that I’m reading now!
The story still suffers from the standard brand of Mykan style writing with the characters not being inconsistent or downright watered down compared to their show counterparts!
Copycat is a bland piece of crap that you could of cut out from the story and it wouldn’t have made a difference!
The spelling and grammar are everywhere and the plot moves like a slug on a treadmill. It never feels like it’s moving forward, just moving backwards! For a superhero action story, this is a boring fic!
…
And where the hell is Computer?
…
***
Computer, what the hell is wrong with you?
You.
What do you mean me?
The way you act.
What? I’m a Mary Sue! You can’t stay mad at me!
What do you really think is going to happen, sir? Do you really think that you acting pompous and arrogant and vile will get me to feel sorry for you because you are suffering so much? Do you really believe that you suffering gives you a valid excuse to act as cruelly as you want without reprocusions?
… … When you put it like that it sounds kind of stupid.
… Look… I’m sorry… I… I know I can be a dick… Rarely…
Wrong.
Sometimes?
Wrong.
Occasionally?
Wrong.
Okay… A lot of the time. And… I know that… I shouldn’t be… And I’m sorry… I’m really sorry.
… I suppose I could forgive you.
… … … So, does that mean you’ll send my letter to Celestia about my stash of nuclear missiles?
No.
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I’VE MADE MY MISTAKES!
THAT ENDING LINE THOUGH!
You know what's funny? I checked his "Shows and games I like" list on eivantart and...You are never gonna believe this.
He loves Spetacular Spider-man and Star Trek (TOS) I don't know how or why, but yes.
But, here comes the unny bit.
Reason for liking Spider-man: The love triangles.
Reason for loving TOS Star Trek: Ready for this? You can't handle this one...The music and the drama. Thats right, not the characters, not the fiction, the music. That, and he never watched Kahn. How do you do that?
HASN'T DC TAKEN A BIG ENOUGH SHIT ON THE TITANS WITH THE NEW 52 AND TEEN TITANS GO?!?!?! THEY DON'T NEED ANYMORE HELP TO MAKE THE TITANS LOOK BAD MYKAN!!!!!!!!
Oh hai Bruce Campbell, Nicolas Cage, and Agent Smith. It's not like I wanted to sleep tonight anyway
Well, to be fair 80s Starfire was kind of like that... except New 52 had all the personality of a moldy stick
CHAAAAAAANGE?!?!?! YA GOT CHAAAAAAAAANGE?!?!?!
Again, to be fair his name really is Slade... his codename is "Deathstroke" because XTREME 80S EDGINESS!!!
Sounds like 90% of Zutarans who can't get it into their heads that Zuko and Katara aren't getting together anytime soon.
Why he hasn't killed himself on accident baffles the scientific community.
But you said a lot of things that needed to be said.
Level 5
It is a dark time for the
Internet. Although the Bad Fanfics
have been exposed,
Shitty writers have driven the
Good writers from their hidden
bases and pursued them across
the interwebs.
Evading the dreaded Unicornicopian
Starfleet, a group of freedom
fighters led by The Critique
have established a new secret
base on the remote website
of FIMFiction.
The evil lord King Mykan,
obsessed with finding young
Critique, has dispatched
thousands of remote probes into
the far reaches of the Web...
I've actually been reworking Titan's backstory for a deconstruction fic I've thought about. His backstory is less like "High School Bully" and more like "Nagash The First Necromancer"
So, 60s Aquaman?
Why Does Everything Have To Begin With Capital Letters?
Well, Total Order is just as bad as Total Chaos. On one end you have the likes of Joker, who does whatever the hell he wants as long as it amuses him; on the other you have Darkseid, who wants to have perfect order by enslaving the multiverse, taking away free will, and having everyone bow to him as their God.
If only Legend of Korra had gotten that right instead of going into generic "Good vs Evil" in Season 2...
Asking that question of Mykan will never give us a good answer, sadly...
Given that almost everyone's parents are dead in My Little Unicorn, I'd bet big money that you're on to something.
Missing some words there, aren't you Mykan?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
*insert sounds of projectile vomit here*
Oh yeah, he's totally not a ripoff of Spider-Man!
And what is it with the stereotype that royalty only uses carriages for transportation?
So, not only is he ripping off Teen Titans, He's also ripping off Sonic?
Forget what I said about Mykan being Kim Jong-Il. he's actually the creator of Sonichu
Holy Self-Insert, Batman! I thought this was in Third Person!
scoopwhoop.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/114201412000014298617dm14.gif
Oh yes, we're so intelligent, we who spend more time watching Honey Boo-Boo instead of inventing ships that can fly faster than light.
Yes.
Uh, Mykan, This is DC comics, not Youngblood.
Then again, your characters have even less personality than a Youngblood character, so...
Does that make Mykan Rob Liefeld?
...
...
...
That's not Slade. The Slade I remember was cold, calculating, and nigh-emotionless. He wouldn't cackle like some third-rate Joker knockoff.
As much as he would deny it, Dick's about one step away from being Bruce.
Isn't it in California?
Russian Roulette?
No, pretty sure it's Russian Roulette.
Translation, I'm such a shitty writer I don't have the balls to say "THEY HAD SEX"
UNTRUE!
God, this and Secret of Queen Annalese have to the the two worst Teen Titans fics I've ever read/heard about for the same reason: THEY COMPLETELY SLAUGHTER ANYTHING RESEMBLING CHARACTER OR PERSONALITY! I mean, first it was Azula acting all nice and friendly for no reason, and now it's this bozo in the Raven costume who's watching TV instead of doing something Raven would do!
And Mykan, RUN YOUR STORY THOUGH A GOD-DAMN SPELLCHECKER SOMETIME!
And the racism. Don't forget the racism.
He's probably some grotesque albino thing with huge eyes that'd probably be blinded by the weakest of lights, kind of like a deep sea fish.
Do that, and I'll kill you to put you out of your misery.
Further proof that Mykan is still living in the Dark Ages (literally, since drinking ale and beer was safer than drinking water at the time).
Half the times the female characters I write kick more ass than the guys. They find sympathy elsewhere besides "The World wants to kill me so much that people randomly attack me on the street".
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! HE REALLY WAS HEADING FOR DRAGON BALL Z! SUPERMAN BEAT GOKU!
Wait... you're Spider Girl?
I could try to be my favorite Avatar character, but I'm not 6 foot or a girl.
At least the Naruto characters had the decency to fight a massive battle on their way in (got their asses kicked by the Titans and later Batman, but still)
I still haven't given up calling "Skye" Dumbass. I think you're SOL.
Not to mention J'onn's just as strong as Supes, and can shapeshift... thn again, all you have to do is hold up a lighter and he'll have some difficulty.
All aliens speak English, don't you know?
What a coincidence! *ding!*
Eh, it's the Internet; forums are a dime a dozen.
UNINTELLIGIBLE SOUNDS OF INTENSE RAGE
THIS STORY CAN BURN IN HELL! NO, THAT'S TOO CRUEL FOR HELL! WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THAT TEASING IS THE PERFECT WAY TO ENJOY THE FACT THAT SOMEONE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP. YOU'RE TEENS, YOU WOULDN'T ACT LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKIN' FIVE-YEAR OLDS! WAIT, THAT'S IT, MYKAN NEVER GRADUATED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, SO HE KEEPS USING THE SAME FUCKING CLICHES I WASHED MY HANDS OF FOURTEEN FUCKING YEARS AGO!
...
...
I apologize for that outburst. It's just that that cliche really gets on my nerves.
That's why Mykan got held back; he failed chem.
Yes. Then again, in the comics his occupation as an assassin is rather hands-on.
That issue was written by an unabashed Slade fanboy. Granted, Slade did solo the Titans in his first issue, but he was trying really damn hard not to get killed and even then Starfire and a few others landed some hits on him.
You should, because you hurt Computer's feelings... jerk.
By th' look on yer face, Ah ken tell ya like th' pipes, wee laddie!
Isn't that supposed to be rhetorical?
Not to mention it was shown that Starfire and her guardian got along really well. It was Blackfire who was the only real bitch of the species.
...
Notmakingadickjokenotmakingadickjoke...
Dammit, why does everything Mykan write have to be a cliche. At least in Order of the Stick they lampshade the cliches and make them funny, but here?
Guh
I've got an idea; Terra destroys the foundation of the tower, causing it to fall over, and they just walk to the far end.
But then, when has intelligence ever factored into a Mykanized universe?
you have no chance to survive make your time
blogs.psychcentral.com/couples/files/2014/07/tumblr_n1zi5rWB2V1r7b6cio1_500.gif
Eeyup.
Bored now.
Any of those heroes could kick this guy's ass. LIAN HARPER could kick this guy's ass (hey, she did help Roy and Dinah beat up Vandal Savage once)
Even Secret of Queen Annalese (which I think is running for "Worst Fic I've Ever Read" had more happen. MYKAN, YOU SUCK!
And good to see you made up with Computer. Shame about the nukes, though.
Next week is Starfleet Magic, isn't it?
Ok, read the rest of the review and
Wait a sec, why does that-
Sweet baby Celestia you didn't
(Incoherent rage!)
You did it, you actually did it. You ripped off the Korin test from Dragonball! How, why...why would you. I-I, oh wait, this putz sees DBZ as one of the best ways to show training and a character being strong. Its his entire philosophy for the unicornians. You know, forgetting that DBZ keeps reminding you that there is always someone better.
But, I love the song cue from Goofy movie, that was hilarious. I actually was singing along
Okay that was so many ways of awesome I can't count that high!
That explains so much.
Rage my friend! Rage on!
See what happens when Computer isn't around?
All your base is belong to us.
Let's just say I'm going to wish I had those nukes.
2738249
The funny thing is he admitted in the first chapter that he was ripping off DBZ and DB. Which annoyed me.
I'm glad that you enjoyed the song. I enjoyed writing it.
2738084
As a Spider-Man fan, that kind of hurt.
I'm mean, I'm glad he's supporting my hero, but ... I don't know how to explain it. It makes me feel sad. 
2739395
Why thank you
It was partially influenced by the opening text crawl from Empire Strikes Back; I figured a reference to Star Wars' opening needed a good text crawl.
*wham!* Ow...
Yeah... Sorry I can't help you there.
Why do you torture yourself like this
2742517 I'll explain Wednesday. Trust me. It will be worth the wait!
Hell yeah, Teen Titans! This was my entire childhood! The great characters, voice work, animation, music...
... Now let's see how Mykan f*cks it all up.
First off, what the Hell does he mean the 7th Titan?! There were only five for the majority of the series, and literally hundreds at the end! Unless he's referring to the brief time where Terra was a Titan, but that creates even more problems! Spoilers for those not in the know, Terra turned out to be an enemy spy, handpicked to appeal to the Titan's, specifically Beat Boy's, emotions! Mykan, YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUU, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! Good God, I haven't even started the story and already I'm yelling like a lunatic!
In the twenty-third century...
HOW!??!?!?!? HE'S IN SPACE, YOU F*CKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
You just directly STOLE from the show! You FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL!!!!!!
It would help if she stopped wearing see-through clothing.
It's called puberty, this asshole is not special. Also, I think we could have guessed that a grown man has pubic hairs, you twit of a writer!
... Derpy, did you put drugs in my drink?
NO.
Then what is this... thing?
A crappy story.
Good answer, Dash. Anyways,
Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahah!!! Thanks Mykan, I needed a good laugh! Humans are dumbasses, especially ones in a position of power.
... Oh? Mind explaining this, Mykan? No? Well then. Hey, Dr. Cox, what relevance to the story does this line have?
Thought so!
Twister!
They're not allowed to use their toes to count as landing on the circle!
... OH?! Are things different in Canada regarding alcohol? Because I'm pretty sure the cops would frown on this!
Is that a dig on Fallout Equestria? Because I'd much rather re-read that than anything Mykan King comes up with.
Cynical: Dear Princess Celestia, GIVE ME THE MEGASPELL NUKES!
Celestia: Dear The Cynical Brony, NO.
Cynical: Dear Celestia, GIVE ME YOUR NUKES! I AM TRUSTWORTHY!
Celestia: Dear Cynical, address me as just Celestia again and you get a vacation to the moon. Once more, NO.
Cynical: Dear Princess Celestia, I HAVE BUILT MY OWN WEAPONS! ALL YOUR EMPIRE ARE BLEONG TO US!
Celestia: Dear Cynical, is the moon treating you well?
Kudos to anyone who gets the reference.
Anyway, great review!
2743940 Oh, damn it! I didn't see that Iowa already made that joke!
2743940 I'm glad you guys enjoyed it!
Just make sure you have plenty of alcohol (or whatever you drink) for Wednesday... because oh boy... this one hurt. 
2744049 Might I ask what Hell awaits us?
Little late to the party I know, but that was as fun for me to read as the actual story wasn't for you. Does that make sense? Whatever. Full disclosure though I stopped reading for like two full hours just to go through a bunch of the DBZ abridged videos I found I could watch cause of the ones you put in here. It was very calming.
Also not sure if you knew or not, but the whole thing with the tower and the water was actually one of the story arcs from Dragon Ball. It was Korin's Tower.
2744133 Season 2 of My Little Unicorn.
2745394 Yeah, he confessed that he totally stole it from DBZ in the first chapter. Doesn't make it any less stupid.
Glad you enjoyed it.
(The review at least)
2745597 So he openly admits that he didn't even come up with the plot himself and he still has followers? The very concept of the idea that this is working for him is disappointing.
2745612
The only thing that give me hope is that people wise up to his act. And they will.
2745644 There's about 7 billion people in the world. Whatever percentage of those people enjoy his stories is probably less than one. Unfortunately that's about the best I'll hope for.
2745596 You can barrow my guns and alcohol. Also, coming soon: "The Roast Of Mykan!" staring King Mykan and The Cynical Brony. Coming to a blogpost near you!
2746150 Here's to that!
i.imgur.com/FB04VCg.gif
I was going to point out the ripping-off of the Dragon Ball plot myself, but it seams i didn't have to.
>>spideremblembrony As bad is this was i was expecting far worse. I was expecting the "other" Mykan Teen Titans fan fic. You know the really bad one.
3486084 stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/3766325/spongebob-smile-o.gif
Sorry for this but... I think copy-cat's design is HELLA cool ...because it reminds me of this hero https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/doblaje/images/6/6d/El_ojo.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20160106221717&path-prefix=es