Update and Changes · 2:13pm Jan 17th, 2015
Hihi everyone.
I would like to start of with a thank you to all of those who have read my story, even those that did not like it. 
I, am not the greatest writer around, and I have no delusions that I ever will be. I try to write my story to the best of my abilities. However, that means I still have lots of flaws. While I am extremely proud of what I have been able to write so far, I have in recent weeks, even a couple months, come to the conclusion based on feedback that I have totally messed up a few sections of my story.
Upon review, I have determined that I do need to go fix a few things in the earlier chapters. I am not 100% sure where to start on any fixes, though. The entire portrayal of why the ponies thought that Cassie was no intelligent was... mishandled. My thoughts and ideas were not properly translated to text. That will be the biggest issue I wish to try and fix.
With that said, Chapter 10, is being put on hold for a little bit. I kind of want to get this sorted out before I go to much farther forward. At least get some of it fixed up. Pretty sure I won't be able to get it all on my first tweaking pass.
I plan on NOTHING, that gets changed effecting any of the story. I will strive to only have the way it is presented be what changes. Okay, there is one thing I know of that will change. It will be in chapter 2 with the Discord section. My current idea (subject to change) will modify one of the charges against Cassie that is brought forth in chapter 7.
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Opinion:An idea I have toyed with since the posting of chapter 6 has got me thinking. Currently chapter 1 is chronologically chapter 3. As the readers, do you think it would be appropriate for me to move chapter 1, back into the chapter 3 spot. This would put the current chapters 2 and 3 into chapter 1 and 2. It would also removed the three weeks prior flashback, since it would be in order now. So, what do you all think?
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Anyways, that is my current plan. Once I figure out how I am going to make the fixes, I will probably try to find someone to look it over before I update. Any updates to the chapters will be listed in the chapter title.
I don't plan on it taking me too long, so that I can get back to chapter 10. But, work and stuff do take up my time also. I will try my best not to take too long, though.
I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend,
-Topaz
There's nothing wrong with a flashback sequence so long as its done appropriately. I didn't see such glaring issues when I initially read those chapters, then again I have yet to do a full re-read now that the newer chapters are in place to see how it all flows together.
2728745 I think you already have read all the chapters posted. I remember a comment about the incident in chapter 8 you mentioned, and an edit after you read chapter 9.
All the proposed order change would do, is put what is already up into chronological order, and remove the three weeks prior tag for chapter 2. I highly doubt I will go that route unless a holy crap majority think it might be best. I do like it a lot the way it is, just thought I would ask is all.
Do these changes include an edited chapter 9? I keep noting that part 2 still says 'Unedited'
2729067 No, the changes would be all in chapters 1-4. And, mostly fixing up how I portrayed the intelligence misconception. I don't plan on any actual elements of the story to change. Just how I presented certain parts to make it... not as bad as it is.
As for the whole (unedited) thing on chapter 9 and back on chapter 5... That would take someone actually editing it. My primary editor has had some r/l issues for quite some time. My backup, who has done chapter 6-8, is... procrastinating (his words)... still. I don't wish to push him too hard about getting around too it.
2729318
Fair enough.
Takin' my advice.
As for the chapter order, I didn't think anything was wrong with that. Not all stories are told from beginning to end. I myself have been considering reworking one of my long-unpublished fics to actually start from the middle instead of the beginning.
Btw, you gonna fix the thing with all the characters eating instead of doing important stuff?
2732257 Yours and a few other peoples suggestions.
Nope, they still eating.
For Cassie and Kozlov, it has been many hours since the crash and when they pass out after putting the fire out (the entire night). Plus, before they try to open the emergency bulkhead all the way they do want to do the better scan of the air, and energy will be needed.
Twilight eats because she waiting for her friends, before going off to check on whatever it is Derpy (Ditzy Doo) woke her up about, partly thinking its just some random thing that wandered out from the Everfree forest so not in the biggest hurry.
For both cases, I will probably (not sure totally) add some of that information. At least most likely for Cassie and Kozlov.
Yeah, I have decided I still like the order it is in.
The whole thing with flashbacks early in the story to catch up where the story started being told has been used to great effect in many tales, often movies with Edward Norton in them. But I often see it used, even in commercial works, where there's really no need for it, and it becomes kind of annoying after a while.
Now, in many other cases I would indeed say that having a flashback early in the story, to show us how we got to this part while it's still early in the story, would indeed be pointless. But! There is one good reason for you to keep the chapters in the current order: People come here because they are fans of ponies. They might like your original characters after reading about them for a while. But still, starting off a story with 15000 words featuring almost no ponies seems like a hard sell around here.