Fanfic Reviews – Pascoite Edition · 9:09pm Oct 3rd, 2014
I have read a lot of Pascoite’s stories lately, or at least my distorted concept of lately that seems to include “last year”. In order not to have a review of his stuff in every post for the foreseeable future, have a compilation. Reviewed at no discernible order, you will find below:
Pilgrimage
There Will Never be a Last Laugh
The Colors of a Rainbow
Making Friends
A Hiccup in Time
A Taxing Situation
As a reminder, scores are in a 0~10 scale, with 3 representing a mediocre fic, and 8 being where I can say I like a story.
Pascoite – Pilgrimage – Character Drama
Applejack does her yearly pilgrimage with her sister.
Anyone with a minimum of experience with pony fic will know what this story is all about right from the start. Their parents are dead, and every year Applejack drags her sister to see their graves. Often, this would be treated as a way to wring out some cheap tears, but here it feels very down to earth and honest. Applejack’s suffering is very crisp and believable, and the plot explores very well how Apple Bloom sees her sister (essentially as a mother figure), and is intelligent in showing how Applejack tries to hide her suffering. This leads to very natural and interesting interactions between both, feeling real but still show accurate. This isn’t a story with great surprises, but then, most familial relations aren’t either.
The stupid thing is, as much as I want to like this fic for all it does right, the ending contained just enough to shatter my suspension of disbelief and dampen its emotional impact. Applejack gets in a river searching for a red rock from her mother’s grave, and it is cold, so she gets Hypothermia, and her sister believes she will die unless she gets dry, so she uses her Ribbon as a towel. The ribbon was a gift from their mother, and it gets ruined, so Applejack gets mad at her sister. The way it is presented, it requires multiple leaps of logic from the reader, and the whole situation is so heavy handed that it just screams “this is a metaphor for the emotional significance we ascribe to physical items!” In such a subtle story, it feels incredibly out of place, and ruined much of the overall experience for me. Still, I gotta give credit for what it does right, and that is a lot, so while I believe it could have been so much more, it is still a good fic.
Why it should be read: For the great sisterly interaction.
Stand-out moments: The way it shows the cracks in Applejack’s mask through her sister’s eyes.
8/10
Pascoite – There will Never be a Last Laugh – Bittersweet
Luna walks Pinkie through her last journey.
This is a story with a nice concept, but at times poor execution. Despite it being fairly obtuse in its descriptions (the nature of the situation is concealed under spoilers below), never stating outright what it is doing or what is happening to Pinkie, it is very “in your face”, and is full of obvious twists, and too direct emotions. It avoids the “are you feeling sad now” feeling that many sad fics go for, focusing more on being bittersweet, but it still goes to a great length to reinforce that, yes, those are sad things happening, even if the characters themselves don’t seem to feel that way.
It is pretty genuine in its emotions, but fails in a death by a thousand cuts kind of way. The themes are well used, and there is a strong undercurrent of Laughter being transcendent. Still, much of it fell flat to me, and I was unable to emotionally relate to much of what was being said.
I do have some personal, and more specific issues with Luna’s role in the fic, as well as Pinkie’s destiny. The way death is handled in this fic with Pinkie being so happy, feels very hokey. Not that people don’t talk like that, but it has always bothered me, and this story fails to fully explore this idea. Luna acting as Death, or at least giving ponies their last wish, also bothers me a little. The scene with her talking to her granddaughter in the womb was pretty disturbing. Still, I guess most of that falls down to personal taste, and the score doesn’t mean that this is a particularly bad story.
Why it should be read: For a well characterized Pinkie, and an interesting treatment of its themes.
Stand-out moments: The way that Pinkie lives on through their memories in a very vivid way was great.
5/10
Pascoite – The Colors of a Rainbow – Character Study
Rainbow Dash gets famous for a very different reason than she wishes to.
I particularly love the concept of this story, but I think it is stretched too thin. This story contains a lot of unnecessary repetition of certain things, which really hurted the story. In fact, it could have probably been told in just a few scenes. This issue affects pacing, and dulls the emotional impact of the last few scenes.
The ending, with Scootaloo being revealed as being color blind, came out of nowhere, but it works in the context of the fic, and is something very interesting as a headcanon. Sadly, it also seems to exist more for convenience than for being a good idea in and of itself.
Despite all that, this is a great story about Dash’s ego, and also the nature and fickleness of fame. Much of it is dedicated to throwing salt at that narcissistic wound, and while that is interesting in and of itself, I think that would have worked better with some tighter focus.
Why it should be read: For a well characterized Rainbow Dash, and a well used Scootaloo.
Stand-out moments: The scene of her in the art gallery, everyone appreciating the images of the Rainboom but ignoring Rainbow herself.
7.5/10
Pascoite – Making Friends – Crossover
Lyra and her human friend have to say goodbye.
This fic is weird. It is a predictable Crossover, but it deviates so much from both shows canon as to be confusing, without using the changes to good effect. Foster’s inhabitants are now a thing in Equestria? This isn’t a fic that stands up very well as soon as you start questioning its logic. Still, it is a nice twist on Human Obsessed Lyra, and it deals very well with the idea of growing up.
Why it should be read: For some light reading, so long as you don’t question the premise too much.
Stand out moment: The ending is as good as it could be.
5/10
Pascoite – A Hiccup in Time – Comedy
Twilight messes up a time traveling spell.
This was some nice comedy, with the added benefit of putting level-headed characters in humorous and bizarre situations. I love how, no matter how insane the situation got, Twi kept her calm, while Spike kept his snark about the whole situation. It works well as a time travel story too, with stable loops, violated causality, all that fun stuff. A bit too basic for my tastes, but great for some light reading.
Why it should be read: For a straightforward comedy involving time travel.
Stand out moment: How she keeps track of all the different Twilights, and how that falls apart.
7/10
Pascoite – A Taxing Situation – Character Study(?)
As an alternative to paying her taxes, Derpy writes a play.
As well written as this fic is, it feels off. The whole idea of Derpy writing and putting up a play in order to avoid paying unexpected taxes comes off as incredibly contrived. That is then compounded by the seemingly small amount she was supposed to pay, as well as the fact that she is writing the Hearth’s Warming pageant of all things. Not only that detracts from the fic, but the time spent on those things keep the focus away from the emotional core of the fic: Derpy doing working on her hobbies on her past time, and how the town accepts and helps with that.
There is also the whole subplot of Celestia helping Derpy in a very roundabout way. It is revealed by a lot of little hints that there is more to the actions of the town than it may seem, but it is so in our face that they quickly become annoying. A little more subtlety would have gone a long way here. Also, in the way it is shown, it makes it look like the whole of Ponyville are only helpful thanks to royal decree, which made their eventual help unpalatable, and left me severely weirded out. Why this is kept “secret” also makes no sense, and seems to be there only for a small section of forced drama, where Derpy feels that it was all for naught, which goes by too fast to have any real impact.
This is one of those "death by a thousand paper cuts" kind of situations, sadly. There is a great core here, but it would need some extensive rework to make it shine.
Why it should be read: For the glimpses of Derpy working her creative side.
Stand out moment: Her budding relationship with Twilight Sparkle.
4,5/10
And that's a wrap! Pascoite is one of those authors that seems able to write in any genre, and tends to have some great concepts. And even for the stories I don't particularly enjoy, they tend to be remarkable.
Huh. Pascoite is Equestria Daily's darling, so it's interesting to see him reviewed in a bit more of a neutral light. I did really enjoy A Hiccup in Time.
Personally, A Taxing Situation was my favorite story of the writeoff round that it scored second place in (and thanks for the reminder to add it to the Writeoff Assoc. group). It's been interesting to see the variety of reactions to the story.
I loved Making Friends, though. It's such a perfect inversion of a classic trope (admittedly, one I like on its own merits).