Oct
2nd
2014
Dear... Princess Celestia? chapter 4 · 3:09pm Oct 2nd, 2014
Hey guys I am struggling slightly with chapter 4 of Dear... Princess Celestia? I am wondering if anyone would be willing to pitch any idea they have in the comment section bellow or on Google docs itself. I of course will as usual place a goggle doc link bellow. But I need fresh and invigorating ideas to get the ball rolling if you would. I do not want to fuck this story up and want to keep the old fans happy as well as attract new ones. Any ideas, comments or concerns are all deeply appreciated. Also anyone who prides themselves on good grammar would be a huge asset to the chapters grammar and punctuation.
2501400 Fuck you move quickly mate not even up for a minute
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I'm everywhere.
...even under your bed.
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Bend over, darling.
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2501409 Good stuff
All I can say is that I'll be waiting on the release.
In the short run, there's the other mane 6 figuring out who he really is. And later on at some point, you could have someone from Dusk's world come there on an attempted rescue mission.
Trixie needs to lay eyes on him
Made some grammatical suggestions.
It's time for a DEATH BATTLE! No but seriously, I might suggest getting him out of Ponyville. I can't really see something happening besides a hydra attack or everyone's like omg twilight is that your other brother??
And for some reason I want Chrysalis involved. Maybe she takes a liking to Dusk or something... And then Luna goes all protective and shit hits the fan...
Idk I think I'm rambling at this point...
2501613 Apart from all of season 4? Twilight has just been crowned so you have the plunder seeds. Power ponies, countless other plots I can use. Luna awkwardly trying to woo him. Twilight scared that she will be replaced by him arguments over what to write to Celestia, Discord offer to return him home the list goes on. Main six reactions and so on.
2501765 True very true.
Personally, I think that it was a mistake to include Princess Twilight Sparkle instead of normal Twilight Sparkle. Sure, you get an interesting dynamic with how Dusk contemplates his future, but the parallel between the two versions of Sparkle become far apart. The interaction between the two will nowhere be near as interesting than if they were equal Unicorns. Twilight is now a more experienced being than Duck, and it will be difficult for Twilight to treat Dusk as an equal instead of somepony that acts like her slightly younger self.
As for direction of the story, well, you need to move Duck into Ponyville and have some character interactions with the Mane 6. I don't know how you're going to do it, because I can't see Celestia or Luna wanting that to ever happen, but because of the huge difference between Twilight and Duck, we the readers need to see some other kind of interaction with the other characters that are around the same level as Dusk. That is the major pull of your story after all: A unique but familiar character interacts with the favorites we all know and love.
2502821 I agree with you on that but with season 3 being one of the worse series to date I did not think it would be very interesting. At least this way their is more to explore.