A Gift from Celestia: Chapters 4.5 and 5 · 2:58am Jul 1st, 2014
First, a huge thanks to my pre-readers!
Metallusionismagic, AShadowOfCygnus (who pre-read as well as doing all the things to bring the reading of Scootaloo and Celestia: Adventures in Twilight's Gall Bladder to you), Punintended Consequences, and Yrfoxtaur.
Parchment paper is used in cooking. It's not the same as parchment. Parchment, as we all should know, was made out of animal hides, and so ponies probably wouldn't use it. Now, I should admit here that I'm sure I've used it in Celestia Sleeps In or Onto the Pony Planet, because I didn't know—but now I do. But parchment paper is safe for ponies; it's totally animal free.
There was some question of whether or not Ditzy's dad would write a note using slang terms. Properly, with a Yorkshire accent, he might write you as ye or thee, but I was worried that might get confused with Luna's accent, so I kept it tha.
If any of my readers are familiar with a Yorkshire accent, and feel that I have made a mistake, feel free to tell me! I will make changes, if needed. The accent I used was based on James Herriot books and some stuff I found on the internet.
While sourdough bread is most often associated with gold miners during the Gold Rush, it is believed to have been invented around 1500 BC by the Egyptians.
While I don't have personal experience with lye soap, I have used Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap, and while it leaves you clean and refreshed, there are places you really don't want to get it. Trust me on this.
Since horses are much more attuned to scent than humans are, and since scent plays an important role in Equine reproduction, and presumably the Equine sex drive in general, it would make sense that they would figure out how to make scented pinups. And while having such pictures at the workplace is no longer considered proper (at least in America), it wasn't that long ago that most auto shops had pinup girl calenders, posters, and heaven knows what else. I do have such a calender, but I keep it on the inside of my toolbox's side locker, where nobody can see it and get offended. (But the ponies are proudly displayed across the top, 'cause they won't offend anyone.)
(believe me, if NSFW images were allowed, I could find a much better representation of what's in the weather office)
(but sexy Spitfire)
As should be obvious, Ditzy's idea of ideal partners are taken from the common tropes in books, movies, TV shows, and so on.
Lightning Bolt is a commonly-appearing pegasus. She's even in the title sequence.
As I also mentioned in Onto the Pony Planet, when you get into rural areas, people hold on to the name of a thing long after it's gone. In Lansing, MI, all the old-timers called Martin Luther King Avenue “Logan St.,” since that's what it used to be called. I had a truck stored in the lot behind M-78 auto repair; I haven't been able to find a Michigan map old enough to have M-78 on it (and the oldest road map I have shows I-69 ending in Lapeer). For that matter, we kept calling one of the service bays at work 'Jim's bay,' long after he was gone. For all I know, it's still called that.
Much of the Lightning Bolt/Ditzy training is taken from my experience training new technicians. Some of them have taken classes in the past, and some of what is taught in those classes applies to an 'ideal' world. In reality, an experienced technician knows where shortcuts can be taken, and where you need to follow the book. There are times when you can bend something out of the way, or grind a small clearance notch with no adverse effects, and other times that you'd better put that bracket back on, even if it is a pain.
And, often times the materials you're working with aren't perfect, and maybe they don't have to be for the job in question. Certainly, while a natural gas pipeline needs to be rigorously inspected for defects, drain tile can have flaws in it that will not impede its function at all.
The Oatfield Cafe is in reference to In Which Twilight Sparkle Attempts to Eat a Sandwich by Maphysto.
I'm not sure we've ever seen a pegasus cruising on a thermal during the show, but it seems like something they'd want to do. IRL birds do, of course, so why wouldn't a pegasus? This also plays homage to the fan theory that Ditzy's bubbles signify her familiarity with air currents.
Obligatory cute pictures of Ditzy!
I actually did some pre-reading this time! Hooray!
Key word should. Same with leather, dagnabbit! *grumblegrumblegrumble*
In fact, they may improve it!
It's always amused me that the generally accepted rule for pony pr0n is that more clothes translates to sexy. In a way though, I suppose it does make sense. It would be slightly more difficult to feel driven if almost everyone was naked around you all the time, and your society had never taught you that modesty was the best policy.
I can't imagine how someone wouldn't know what leather was. Parchment's a little trickier, since nowadays, you can get 'parchment' that's paper dyed to look like a traditional hide. Heck, I didn't know until recently. I just assumed.
I seem to recall that when it came off the end of the line, if it was round, it passed QC.
Which makes one wonder if the mares with the hazmat suits were considered the sexiest ponies in Ponyville...
I'm not entirely sure . . . there are other social cues and signals in nude cultures (I don't think that a fully- or semi-nude tribe puts on more clothes when they want to get busy); for the ponies, I do think that scent would play a big role. That, and body language.
I can confirm.
Not fun.
At all.
2247515
So would a pony with anosmia lack a sex drive or would it just be impeded?
2247612
Well, IRL it would probably lack it entirely, if it was a stallion. I'm less sure what would happen if it was a mare--she'd certainly be getting attention from the stallions, but I don't know if she'd consent without being able to smell them.
In the case of the ponies, I think that since they're sapient and have other social cues, which might be able to partially or wholly stand in. It's plausible that their sex drive would be muted, though.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/6/544680__safe_comic_derpy+hooves_dialogue_food_artist-colon-madmax_eating_chocolate_chocolate+fountain_jack+and+jill.png
Now, perhaps the Royal Canterlot Archives would still have parchment texts collected from other sources, a less civilized medium for a less civilized era, but as for the modern day writing material, do you think you would go to the effort of switching all the 'parchment' out with papyrus or another material, or retcon calling some non-animal-skin substance 'parchment'?
On a side note, I guess I know why it's called parchment now.
My shop is still known by many locals as 'Charley's Transmission,' even if it's been J&B for almost 7 years. Though, to be fair, old man Charley himself is still working there. He's 82 and he can still dead lift a transmission. Oh, we also refer to the transmission bench as 'Charley's Table' and that's probably never going to change.
I miss mechanic shop pornography. Is that weird? It's not just because of smexy babes (though that is certainly a perk), but, to me at least, it seems to be one of those things that's a defining characteristic of a particular business. Or perhaps I should say a part of its soul. Idk. I guess I'm a bit nostalgic of it myself, because I grew up (yes as awkward as this sounds) in old fashioned shops, seeing skimpy tramps draped over classic cars and tool boxes. Mind you, this was way before I was even old enough to understand such things. As I grew older, I saw less and less of what, to me, seemed to be a part of the business, a tradition even, that was dying off.
Though, even in my shop there is a remnant or two. In our dark back storage room filled from floor to ceiling with tranmission parts, there's a poster from the 80s featuring a Pontiac concept car (looks roughly like the 90s Firebird, apparently called the Banshee), painted Snap On red, to match a row of toolboxes behind it. The hotty is a tall lady in a tight dress, and in typical 80s style, she has enormous fuzzy hair.
Also, now you have me wanting to put a Spitfire pin-up somewhere at work.
I imagine the term 'parchment' is probably one of those words that just stick. Even long after they no longer apply or make sense. Or, hell, for all we know, that's just what they call shitty old fashioned tree-paper. Hell, I'd say that griffons used parchment over a 1000 years ago, and traded it to ponies. Who either knowingly or unknowingly used it, at the time. And the word just stuck, long after they ceased using actual parchment, replacing it with... tree paper.
Imagining pony history involving griffons in some way always leads to simple answers for these odd types of questions that only spring up because we're overthinking this stuff.
2247674
I would think they do.
Probably, but it might depend on the specific document, and whether or not they might offend the other party by doing so. One imagines that all diplomats to the Royal Castle would follow proper protocol, but if she made peace with a tribe of rogue griffons, let's say? Maybe not. I think Celestia is wise enough to not spit on a sincerely given gift.
On the other hand, here's a thought: it's already part of my headcanon that ponies use quills so often because they have a practically limitless supply from the pegasi (who are happy to sell them, I'm sure). What if to a noble unicorn, the greatest remembrance isn't a crappy tombstone, but to be turned into an important document?
2247999
No, I think it's just one of those things that seems like it belongs in a shop (along with greasy rags, overflowing ashtrays, and maybe some beers in the fridge).
Ours, too--in the brake lathe room, there are a few older posters of Matco girls (and of course the nudie calendar in my toolbox).
Is it weird that I kind of miss that hairstyle? It was still semi-popular when I was in high school.
Hey, I've got ponies on my toolbox.
It's a possibility. As a writer, I have no problem with characters saying things that are wrong [if it's in character for them], but narrative descriptions ought to be accurate. For example, I never use the word fur in a narrative description, but some of the characters (generally the less-educated ones) do use it, on occasion.
Plausible. I have a hard time imagining the griffons as the civilization with writing and paper, and the ponies not having it, but maybe they were once the dominant race, and then after unification the ponies were able to defeat them, at which point their culture crumbled . . . or maybe I'm just overthinking things again.
2250164 Well when I said pin-up, I meant something that would be... erring on the side of NSFW. Something kinky lol.
Why does it have to be that griffons were a dominant species? Or even a vastly advanced one? It could be as simple as paper being expensive in pony territory, and griffons offering a cheaper alternative. Economics ftw.
Though I do generally think griffons would be more technologically inclined. What without de magicks and all. I mean, for about 1000 years (to compare, for us it would have been the dark ages til now), all tribes probably had a lot more access to unicorn magic shit, so... less inclination towards technology. Therefore, imo, griffon tech > pony tech.
2250581
Well, I can't post any of those here.
th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/351/5/8/spitfire_by_rb_d-d6yb4vy.png
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/034/8/9/spitfire_would_go____by_spitshy-d4ojrvp.jpg
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/104/0/5/spitfire________painting_a_spitfire_by_spitshy-d61qpdd.jpg
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130322043329/tumblrpony/images/thumb/4/49/Spitfire_portrait_3-2013.jpg/500px-Spitfire_portrait_3-2013.jpg
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/147/8/d/saucy_spitfire_by_gsphere-d51bqy2.jpg
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/072/1/c/commission__spitfire_pinup_by_spittfireart-d5xz1uc.png
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/357/c/1/spitfire_pinup_no__2_by_pluckyninja-d4k0a8y.jpg
gamesprays.com/files/resource_media/preview/spitfire-pinup-6906_preview.png
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2014/131/a/7/wonderbolts_pinup_wallpaper_by_taharon-d7i0tkp.png
s14.postimg.org/3v32i5bmp/132660050158.jpg
,,,but I'll just leave these here.
2251343 Nice.
That top pic of Spits was hot. Too bad scented technology on earth always falls flat when they try it. Otherwise that'd be even hotter.
And yeah, I can see ponies perfecting scented technology for their pics. Especially since they have unicorns who can do a simple enchantment to mimic scents / custom smells.