State of the Writer, June 2012 · 10:09pm May 31st, 2012
Allow me to vent for a moment.
Today is the one-month anniversary of me starting this new job. And I hate it. I hated being unemployed, too, and I've come to realize that I am meant to be unhappy. I don't think there is a job that I could honestly enjoy, because having a job takes away from doing what I actually enjoy: creating. Right now, I have about an hour a night to write (which is easily squandered), plus Sunday for editing. Saturdays I generally spend having a life, and I can't do much during that time. So yeah. I guess it's good that my output slowed so much over the past few months, because it's not like you're all missing anything.
Anyway, on to the news.
Epic Unicorn History: The Beards of Harmony has sadly fallen by the wayside. I was moving very slowly on it, thinking and rethinking everything. I'll pick it back up next, but now I have more pressing concerns.
To see some of those concerns, watch this. You get to see my (horrible) face and I reveal details of my current project. The less I say about it, the better, I think.
Along with that, I've also started in on another writing contest on /fic/. This one's allowed me to revisit an old idea, and I'll reveal it once everything's done of course. EDIT: MAKE THAT TWO WRITING CONTESTS ARFGUBHDFKGBAS
Oh, I did get back into the Elements of Awesomery sequel, thanks to some big help from kits. I'm on the right track to finish that now, so stay tuned.
It's unfortunate, going back up to the opening of this blog post, that my general feelings of self-worth and esteem are tied to my creations. When I'm denied the ability to create, I get really grumpy, sometimes even despondent. I do have an outlet though: other accounts. Some people know what one of them is, no one knows the second. The great thing about these accounts is that the pieces I write aren't as important as what I put up here. I don't have to pour out my soul and polish everything to a fine luster; the writing process is more like whacking the thing with an angle grinder a few times. So it's easier to get things out quickly, which is kind of like a drug.
But like a drug, it's an artificial way to keep myself feeling good. Not to mention it seriously impacts my daily life, if I can use my output here as such a metaphor. So I'm trying to focus on actual writing for the moment; hopefully something will finish soon.
If it makes you feel better, it is a rare person indeed that enjoys their job. If anyone says they do, they are lying to make themselves feel better!
Have you considered day trading?
Ugh, PP.
I really empathize with what you're feeling here. An hour a day just isn't enough for someone who needs that outlet, huh? Sometimes I find that heavy brainstorming during commutes helps a little, as well as staying up too late ~once a week to do things I want to do before I pass out for the next day. But, these may not work for you, of course. I just hope you find some wiggle room in your life for creating.
145239 Argh, I have the same problem. I try to brainstorm as much as possible when I'm driving - thing is, mostly I have to concentrate on driving - and wasting time online is easier done that actually doing anything productive.
I weave from loathing my job to loving it - right now, I'm liking it but it's taxing and tiring. It doesn't help that it's tree bukkake season; all that tree sperm plays merry hell with my asthma, and it's so bad around here that even those who have never had hayfever are getting it.
Chin up, and don't worry, I'm stalking all your extra accounts.
/Midnight
I'm in the unhappy situation of loving my job, but that it's a entry-level position. It's quite like drowning in chocolate.
Still, Present...
*Hugs*
Your faec. Goddammit!
(j/k it's only 60% as scary as looking in a mirror)
But yeah, noone "loves" their job because, deep down, working is something we should do for ourselves and our community, not for money. But some people like a decent portion of what their job entails. I am one of those. I think it's because my job tangibly benefits my community in an immediate sense.
145239
Did you know that you guys make everything better? I always look forward to getting home and logging on to IRC. You all make life worth living. ;_;
145362
Yeah. My job only benefits businesses, mine and others. The person who I work closest with is horribly obnoxious, I still don't understand half of what I'm doing, and at least one person there hates me, not to mention the heat, noise, smells, etc. I just don't feel like I belong there.
Of course, today I was told that I was doing excellent work. D: Goddammit.