Alexmagnet Explains: The Whiskey Rebellion (Oh, and there's a fic reading at the end too) · 6:16pm Jun 2nd, 2014
Hey, so look at that. I’m sorta, kinda, trying to keep up this once a week schedule for my history shit. This week I’m going to be talking about a little-discussed event in American history. It happened very shortly after the American Revolution, when we were still just a fledgling country, but it helped shape some of our future laws, and additionally set precedents for later confrontations. The event I’m talking about is The Whiskey Rebellion, or, as it’s sometimes called, The Whiskey Insurrection, though I prefer “Rebellion” myself. Sounds more badass, y’know?
Anyway, as with the last blog, I’ll post the first bit of it here on Fimfic, and then provide a link to my website where you can read the rest of it. Oh yeah, and it does cost me a bit of money each month to keep the site running, so if you’d consider whitelisting it so I can make some change off ads, I’d greatly appreciate it.
No joke, this was the third result I got in Google when I typed in “Shameless Begging”.
So, you might find yourself, right now, asking, “What is this… Whiskey Rebellion?” Well, sit down and shut up so I can tell you, ya dumb idiot. That’s why we’re here, ain’t it? Now, as you might recall, The United States gained its independence from Great Britain in the late 1770s. And, if you’re an American yourself, you probably heard, in at least one dingy classroom with a broken light and an air conditioner that didn’t quite work, the much-lauded phrase “No taxation without representation!” This was the rallying cry of the American revolutionists who were pissed over the British taxation of the colonies without said colonies having any say in said taxation. What you may not have heard is how people were still saying that shit nearly 20 years after the revolution.
Now then, what would prompt a bunch of people who’d just gained their independence to start bitching again not two decades later? Well, it turns out that in 1789, after the US had incurred over $50 million in debt due to the Revolutionary War, Alexander Hamilton (then-Secretary of the Treasury) decided it would be a good idea to introduce a new excise tax on locally distilled alcohol, namely whiskey. They had discovered previously, under the Articles of Confederation, that the national government had no way of levying taxes, and this was kind of a major problem. A lot of states had simply not ponied up the cost of their defense, and so the government was stuck with this huge tab they had no way to pay. Thus he convinced Congress to combine the national and state debts into one so he could levy taxes.
Pictured: Washington crossing the Delaware… to levy taxes.
By 1790, Hamilton was sure the import duties tax, which was the best source of revenue the US had at the time, was about as high as it could reasonably go. So, he looked elsewhere for a solution. If you thought that raising taxes was unpopular now, just imagine what it must’ve been like for the first US citizens. Hamilton proposed an excise tax on whiskey because he saw it as a luxury, and the least controversial thing he could add a tax to. A few people agreed with his decision, since they saw it as more of “sin tax” and that hopefully charging more for whiskey would make people stop drinking the evil stuff. Who would’ve guessed that this might piss off the whiskey salesmen, most of whom were farmers who simply used their leftover grain to make the drink? The Whiskey Act became law in 1791, and George Washington set about doing all the shit necessary to be able to properly regulate the law.
Pretty much immediately people, specifically western distillery owners, were not very happy about this new law. They thought Hamilton was being a real asshole and was purposefully targeting smaller distilleries to promote big business. See, the whiskey tax was such that you could pay either a flat fee, or a “per gallon” amount, which, according to Hamilton, amounted to less than 10 cents per gallon. The problem, as the westerners saw it, was that large companies, who were more efficient due to a larger workforce, would end up paying less on the tax (as low as 6 cents/gallon), and they, who were unable to work year round due to farming and shit, would be paying more (around 9 cents/gallon). Some historians believe this tax was purposefully favorable to big business, and that Hamilton was trying to run out the small distilleries, but others believe that’s a load of crap. I’m sort of in the “load of crap” category, since, the way I see it, this is just the way things happened to play out. If Hamilton had really wanted to shut down small businesses, he would’ve done a better job of it.
If Hamilton had really been a shill for big business, I have to imagine he would’ve been given a more lofty position than the $10 bill.
It should be noted that the westerners of the United States at that time were already kinda pissed at the government for various other reasons, including not adequately dealing with the Northwestern Indian War or the Spanish, so the whiskey excise tax was just the straw that broke the whiskey salesman’s back. Some of the westerners, many of whom were veterans of the Revolutionary War, saw the tax as the same thing the British had done, but what was different is that they did have representation, it just wasn’t in their backyard. Basically, the way supporters of the tax saw it, “Bitch, you elected these guys to represent you. If you don’t like their taxes, then don’t elect them.” They had had a say, it just didn’t work the way they wanted, which, tough shit, that’s what happens when you lose an election. Sometimes a guy you don’t agree with is going to be elected.
Now, all this would’ve been fine had it not been for what happened a little later on. It’s perfectly acceptable to protest a tax, or to try and get it repealed, that’s fine. This is ‘Murica, and we pride ourselves on our laws guaranteeing free speech. What is not okay is when you tar and feather the man sent to collect taxes you don’t agree with. And that’s exactly what happened in late 1791. A man by the name of Robert Johnson (who probably couldn’t have a more generic name if he tried) was newly appointed as the tax collector for Washington County, Pennsylvania, and was attacked by a disguised gang, then tarred and feathered. The person later sent to apprehend these criminals was also tarred and feathered.
Several months before this attack, a conference had been held in Philadelphia (where the capital of the US was at the time), and several petitions were made against the excise tax. They were semi-successful, and managed to get a small reduction in the tax, but this wasn’t enough for some westerners, who were now just out and out refusing to pay the tax, hence the later tar and feathering of some poor sap just trying to do his job.
And here's the fic reading I promised at the beginning.
Huh. This was actually really fascinating... Have you considered sending in something to Cracked.com? You can make money doing that right.
So, Mondays, then? Good to know.
I forgot to mention it, but thanks for the reading goes to Arwhale, who did an excellent job making me realize how unbelievably silly that story is.
Heh.. History was always my favorite. This actually told me some things I didn't know. I'm amazed, and thankful, and a lot of other things.
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If there's one thing that could be said about Nixon, it's that he really hated whiskey. Oh, and that he was the only President to be impeached. So there's two things you can say about Nixon. Oh, and he also thought it was a good idea to tape everything he said because it might be of "historical" significance... which it was. Right, so there are three things you can say about Nixon.
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Yeah, I looked into it, but they didn't seem all that interested if it wasn't a list article, and I don't want to change everything just to make it fit within a list. I like the way these things are formatted now. However, if you want to help me out, the best thing you can do is click on some ads on my site. That's the only way I have to make money off this stuff right now.
fyi, bbcode doesn't translate onto your site. :B
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Yeah, I know. I go through it add all the html tags myself... but I guess I must've missed some by accident. Derpity derp.
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ctrl-f is your friend!
I don't know about you guys, but I remember being taught about this in middle school and it seems that very few people remember it at all. Hell, even with history repeating itself with Cliven Bundy in Neveda, it's still only been brought up once: this wasn't even by a news network, but The Daily Show.
White text on a black background hurts; my eyes are bleeding now.