Present Perfect vs. The Keepers of Discord · 4:21pm Apr 18th, 2014
Hoopy McGee's The Keepers of Discord is not a story I've heard a lot about. It's on the Vault, yes, but the main reason for this journal is that, up until this month, it was the highest-rated story on Fimfiction. (Someone posted a journal about its dethronement; I'm not sure what took its place, you can look it up yourself.)
This is a solidly season 2 fic about a family of ponies tasked with maintaining Discord's statue after the events of The Return of Harmony. The most immediate comparison is to Diary of a Silent/Pliant Tyrant. Though not the same juggernaught (pun intended) of character voicing as those two pieces, it proves that you can have two good stories about more or less the same thing existing in tandem.
Because this is a very good story. Discord regales us with his opinions, most of them grumpy, on the goings-on of the various characters and we get to watch ponies grow, have families, and die over the course of the story. It's something I've always wanted to do. Using the captive Discord as the window into these characters' lives is quite an excellent narrative frame. There's a real sense of time being something very fluid to an immortal (though at least part of this was because the reader, Fredo, didn't pause for scene breaks, so I had to tease them out somewhat; he was otherwise a good reader, for the record, and his voice well-suited to Discord; Dr. Wolf does a better job, and not just because he turned it into a movie!) It would have been a very different animal of a story had we seen everything from their perspectives.
Those characters are all pretty good, as well, though of course Sunny Meadows is the best. I found myself lamenting that her mother and grandmother had been given short shrift in the wordcount, but as she ends up being the most important member of her family, where Discord is concerned, it's no wonder that she gets the lion's share of the story. I was very thankful that she turned out to be a fun and relatable character.
Missteps were few. I had to wonder at the timeline in play, for one. Discord is aware of when the mane cast begin to pass away, as he can feel the magic of the Elements weaken, but the first doesn't die until after the first Keeper has been dead for quite some time. There are explanations I can come to for this, but none given in the story. I was also a bit underwhelmed by what actually sets Discord free at the end, once the Bearers have all passed away. Given that there's a sibling fight near him earlier in the story (that has no effect, for a well-explained reason), it just seemed an odd and slightly semantically fishy excuse to finally break his prison. I also felt like, given that the titular Keepers position was, y'know, appointed by the Princess, Sunny et. al. were kind of wibbly with their carrying out of the job. Granted, we only get to see some of the most important events in their lives, but there are still places where Discord notes having seen nopony for a length of time, and I had to wonder just how laissez-faire Celestia can possibly afford to be with Discord.
The biggest misstep, I would say, would be the two 'extra' chapters. The publication order is chronologically reversed, so I have no idea what the story is behind them, but they definitely felt like an unnecessary tying up of loose ends to satisfy whiny readers. Given their total 1700 words to the main story's 9600, and the fact that that main body ends in just the most perfect spot, I couldn't help but feel that chapter 2 and the epilogue are entirely superfluous, laying out things that were implied well enough by the story. But, what can you do?
Is this story deserving of high ratings? Absolutely. It reforms Discord better than the show did and puts temporality to work for the narrative. Should it be the highest-rated story on the site? YMMV. There are other stories I like more, but at some point, it's all "these are great stories here", and this one is definitely great.
4/5
Would be higher if not for the second chapter and epilogue. This is still an excellent character piece that is entirely worth reading.
Yaaaaaaay, best Discord story!
Yeah, that's a good one. It's one of the reasons (the rest being everything else he's written) that Hoopy ranked pretty highly on my list of favorite authors on the site.
It's actually back on top again. Interestingly "Princess Twilight Sparkle's 500th Birthday" was in the #2 spot for a while and I think might have been #1 briefly before it picked up its 10th downgoat.
Hmm. I remember the chapter with Celestia and Luna rocking up to stone him again seeming a bit out of place, though not enough to "mark it down". But I thought the epilogue with the letter was fantastic. It really made me stop and consider the opposite side of the equation, what Sunny was feeling and that she would never actually see Discord break out. Sure, that kinda clicked while I was reading the main chapter, but Discord's narration ensured that I never properly realised it, which shows that Hoopy absolutely succeeded on that account. At least with me. Plus, it wasn't too long, and delivered some incredible sads that were earned over the course of the story.
I didn't view it as "another tacked on chapter", I saw it as "more". Which for a story that good, I can't really begrudge.
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Thing is, we really didn't have to see the letter. Discord's reaction to it is all we need; the contents were nothing illuminative beyond what I could assume was in it based on the events of part 1. The same goes with the Celestia chapter, it doesn't add anything to the story save confirming that Celestia is going to leave Discord be, but that's not the point of the story at all.
The Keepers of Discord came out about two weeks after Diary of a Silent Tyrant. In my naiveté, I was amazed. I thought that I'd had a wholly original idea. I was stunned that two people would have roughly the same fic idea at the same time. I just shake my head at that now. So naive...
The second chapter was a way for me to introduce a third party (Celestia) to how much Discord had changed during his most recent incarceration. I wanted to show the difference through her eyes. She went in expecting battle and was caught off-guard by an unexpectedly introspective and depressed spirit of chaos.
But then I couldn't leave it there. The focus had to end back on Discord and what he'd learned, which is where the third chapter came in.
Or, at least, that was my intention. You're not the only one who has expressed the opinion that I should have ended it sooner and skipped the second and third chapters. And, honestly, I considered doing just that. Leaving the contents of Sunny's letter a mystery, leaving how much Discord changed even more up to interpretation than I did, and just ending on the first chapter. I think, maybe, I just wasn't ready to leave that particular story yet, which is why I continued on.
Thanks for taking the time to write up a review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the story overall, flaws and all
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I think we went up on Equestria Daily just a week or so apart, as well. I remember one of the first comments I got over there being "another 'Discord trapped in stone' story?" or something like that
2032359 Yeah, it was really close, and I don't think we were the only ones. At least one other "Discord as a statue" fic was published here on FIMFiction.net at the time. I remember seeing it in your blog or your story comments or something because you linked it. I was thinking, "Oh, what a nice guy! He linked my story." Then it wasn't mine.
I have to admit that it's weird having any level of comparison between The Keepers of Discord and Diary of a Silent Tyrant. Yours is, um, just a tad more ambitious...
Love this fic. Good review!