A glimpse at things to come... · 1:10pm Jan 11th, 2014
Blech... I think I may have to extend that deadline... >_<
Chapter is about half finished. That traveling on the ninth really cut into my writing time, especially since I spent pretty much all of yesterday resting from the trip. Lazy ass, that's what I am.
I doubt there's any way I'll be able to write it and get it proofread by the end of the day. :iconajsleepy: I'm sorry.
Ugh... Okay, how can I make this up to you guys...
How about a preview?
The gigantic metal door embedded into the hill in Whitetail Wood whooshed open as the three little fillies galloped into the failing light. Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all let out a collective groan of dismay. The sun was already beginning to set on the horizon as Celestia’s day made way for Luna’s night. Sweetie Belle rubbed her forehead with a hoof as the light dimmed.
“Oh great,” she whined. “We were supposed to be back at Sweet Apple Acres before dark! Oh, Rarity’s gonna kill me.” She said, burying her face in her hooves.
Scootaloo looked up at the sky. “I could maybe get back there on my scooter, but it’d be pushing it,” she said with a glance to the other crusaders. “And there’s not a chance I could get you two there without the wagon.”
Applebloom frowned, trotting over to her beloved wagon. The yellow filly sighed as she looked at the pile of scrap metal. She had told Applejack that she’d be back before curfew, and she knew that she’d be punished if she didn’t keep her word. It was an extra kick in the flank that not only would she probably be grounded for a day or two, but she’d also lost one of her favorite possessions as well.
“I guess we’d better get moving,” Sweetie Belle sighed. “Scootaloo, why don’t you ride ahead on the scooter and let our sisters know we’re coming at least?”
“Yeah,” Applebloom agreed as she put a hoof to her forehead. “That... nngh...” she grunted as a lance of pain shot through her skull. “That sounds like a good plan.”
Scootaloo blinked as she put on her helmet. “Are you okay, Applebloom? You having another memory headache thingy?”
Applebloom shook her head, clenching her eyes shut. “I don’t know. It feels kinda like somethin’s pushing out from behind my eyes.”
“Are you going to transform again?” Sweetie Belle asked, watching her friend closely.
“Nah, that feels different.” The yellow filly grit her teeth. “It feels more like- GAH!” Applebloom suddenly stumbled, barely regaining her footing before she fell to the ground. Her eyes snapped open, glowing bright green.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle jumped back in alarm as beams of green light fired out of Applebloom’s eyes, engulfing the remains of the wagon. Applebloom yelped as the eerie light rays moved up and down over the scrap metal, taking in every detail of its make. Applebloom began to twitch, her mouth falling open and foaming a little as the beams receded and the lights in her eyes grew dimmer. Her eyes still shone a bright green as she stood there twitching and foaming.
“Applebloom!” Sweetie and Scootaloo both shouted as the two of them rushed over to help their friend. Applebloom didn’t respond as she continued to seize up.
“What’s wrong with her?!” Sweetie Belle shouted as the yellow filly shook. “Scootaloo, go get Applejack!”
Scootaloo nodded and jumped onto her scooter. Before the little pegasus could take off, though, a familiar sound rang out through the clearing.
Applebloom’s back split open and shifted outwards. Her head and tail retracted into her torso and her legs split to reveal small wheels. Her body sunk inwards and compacted into itself, flesh folding inwards to reveal red metal. The process continued as her torso widened outward and got flatter with a large basin in the middle. Her legs shrank and compacted into the rectangular bowl that was once Applebloom’s torso, and a handled rod expanded from where her tail used to be. With a resounding clank, the transformation completed.
The two crusaders gasped. Where Applebloom stood before, there was now a small red wagon.
How was that? Mind, it's very rough. This hasn't been edited at all and it'll probably go through one or two revisions before it is actually posted, but tell me what you think, since I doubt that I'll actually get the chapter out by the end of the day.
My only complaint is using the term 'the yellow filly'.
Try to avoid doing that unless it's relevant. Otherwise, random use of descriptive pony terms like that is called 'lavender unicorn syndrome'.
1705782
I'm aware of that
It's a problem I've always known I have. I brought it up with my proofreaders last chapter and I think in the author's notes as well...
This will be one of the many things that I'll be going over with a fine-toothed comb once I get around to editing.
Aside from that, what'd you think of the rest?
1705784 Well it's not really a problem. I honestly didn't even notice ituntil other writers brought it up to me.
Liked it! Can't wait for the full thing.
The bit Merlos pointed out would work fine with just a "she". The antecedent is clear.
Also, very interesting bit. Especially since the wagon color scheme differs so much from pony Apple Bloom. Not sure if this makes her a triple-changer or a Transmetal.
No, wait, definitely the former. If she were a Transmetal, it'd be much more obvious.
In any case, I just hope her wagon mode can be self-propelled. It'd be kind of embarrassing, otherwise. Like if Megatron turned into a gun with no one nearby to hold him.
Sorry, kind of waded into the stream of consciousness there.
In any case, looking forward to the full chapter.
So she's a triple changer, eh?
1705784
1705782 you should of read the Original version of my fic before a Editor hit it with the Fixstick... i think the only NAME i used was Angel.
1705823 ... I Support Transmetal Applebloom.
I hope she gets a Holographic Filly to pull the Wagon, like Arcee and Prowl's Riders.
I also hope this means her Body Color, under the Filly-skin, is red now...
I also like how her Internal Components rearranging and modifying themselves looked like a seizure to those on the Outside, Skin and shit hides internal alterations less well to Car Chassis.
Amazing THREE MODES, vehicle, Organic and robotic. But how dose that work? Sounds well Impossible. If she was to transform into her wagon wouldn't it replace her pony form.
But ye forget mate that she seems ta be HALF pony HALF autobot. and like {Cliff Robotnic} Said she can hide de wagon plating under er skin.
But even then the parts of the waggon would make her skin bulky and-.
Boss i'm sure the Author will Explain in die time we seem to be Frighting the other readers.
OK your right. Like i said great story can't wait for more.
1710208 1706707 1705823
Well, since I've revealed this preview, I might as well come out with this particular detail. Applebloom is a Triple Changer.
You'll likely find as the story goes on that Applebloom is going to turn out a bit OP. This was somewhat inevitable as she is going to be facing down five rather powerful Decepticons, as well as a small army of Vehicons with little backup aside from the Mane 6 every now and again.
Anyway, there is a story reason in mind as to why she is going to turn out so OP, but I'm not sure I'll be capable of revealing it in this story.
1710379 I am aware of her Nature as a triple-changer, i am just considering Cosmetic attributes in ehr Robot Form now that she's assimulated a Wagon..
As for Power.... well, Magic.
She's absorbed a Buttload of Magic on Equestria, which amps up her Robo-powers!
It's just a Theory, a Game The-*shot*
1710379
Well, even if you can't find a way to put the explanation in a character's mouth, that's what author's notes are for.