• Member Since 12th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Dusty the Royal Janitor


Who needs sleep when you've been dead inside for years? :)

More Blog Posts284

  • 13 weeks
    That Time of the Season Once Again

    Hello all, hope everybody is having a good holiday.

    I'm a bit too hopped up on eggnog right now to really go into depth, but for anybody who remains who cares to hear it, I'll try and have a status update pretty soon.

    Hope everybody is enjoying the season! Merry Christmas~!

    2 comments · 64 views
  • 58 weeks
    I found some VINTAGE Brony Meme Stupidity in the back of my closet

    So, no real work done on anything creative right now, my dudes. Still working through my shit. Getting a lot of therapy, but unfortunately the "greater situation" I'm dealing with is both existential, ongoing, and an annoyingly hot topic right now, so it's an uphill battle.

    Read More

    6 comments · 288 views
  • 65 weeks
    Happy Yearly Holiday Update

    Huh. I wonder if anybody still checks this page. I've been pretty dead on this site for a while now.

    Happy Holidays to everybody out there who still finds themselves entranced by stories of technicolor equines. I hope everybody is having a Merry Christmas.

    Read More

    8 comments · 194 views
  • 117 weeks
    The Yearly Holiday Janitorial Update

    *peeks in*

    ...Is anybody even still watching this space?

    So, another year has gone by and I'm afraid, once again, I have little to show for it.

    Read More

    5 comments · 482 views
  • 169 weeks
    Christmas Wishes, Apologies, and Updates

    Hello, everybody. Long time no... well... anything really.

    It's been exactly one year since I've given anybody here any blog whatsoever, and that was just a quick Christmas gag. It's been even longer since I've actually given anybody any updates on any of my stories or what's going on in my life.

    Read More

    9 comments · 554 views
Feb
11th
2023

I found some VINTAGE Brony Meme Stupidity in the back of my closet · 7:09am Feb 11th, 2023

So, no real work done on anything creative right now, my dudes. Still working through my shit. Getting a lot of therapy, but unfortunately the "greater situation" I'm dealing with is both existential, ongoing, and an annoyingly hot topic right now, so it's an uphill battle.

But interestingly, something my therapist suggested caused me to stumble on something OLD. Something CURSED. Something that should have been left buried.

So basically, my therapist suggested that I should try drawing something to release the creative block I've been feeling, and as I was digging through old sketchbooks (I used to draw a lot), I found that one sketchbook in particular wasn't filled with drawings, but with "jokes."

See, way way back in the halcyon days of... jeez probably about 2011 or 2012, I used to write MLP fanfiction (I know, crazy, can you believe it?)

And one idea I had for a fanfiction, all the way back in the days of yore when Seasons 1 and 2 were coming out, was a fanfiction titled "Pinkie and the Brain"

Now to all you zoomer whippersnappers out there who don't get it, this is a reference to the old 90's Spielberg cartoon, "Pinky and the Brain," a cartoon about two lab mice gifted with humanlike intelligence (though one is noticeably brighter than the other) by "Acme Labs" science experiments. Their nightly escapades revolve around "The Brain's" attempts to take over the world.

Seriously, tho. I shouldn't have to explain that part. If you actually haven't seen it, go track it down. I'm sure some streaming service has it.

Anyway, the premise of the fanfiction was that, in an alternate universe, Twilight Sparkle is actually secretly a supervillain seeking to usurp Princess Celestia and bring about a new age of scientific egalitarianism, rather than the old aristocracy that hangs onto Canterlot, and by extension all of Equestrian society, like a bad smell. She concocts various magical/scientific schemes with the intent of deposing Celestia and Luna, and convincing pony society to follow her.

The only one who knows about her schemes is Pinkie Pie (because Pinkie found her secret lab under the library because Pinkie knows and sees all). So Twilight roped her into trying to take over the world together.

So why am I telling you all of this when this is clearly something I never actually wrote and never intend to actually write? Well, my friends, while searching for a clean sketchbook, I found a notebook filled with jokes that I planned to use in this fic.

You see, in the original "Pinky and the Brain," there was a running gag where the Brain would ask Pinky, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" and Pinky would respond with something absurd and inane, clearly proving that no, he was not, in fact, pondering what the Brain was pondering.

Clearly I wished to emulate these jokes, because I found an entire multi-page list of "Pinkie Responses" for when Twilight would ask if Pinkie was pondering what she was pondering.

and boy oh fucking boy is it a blast from the past. A whole bunch of them are references or meta jokes that the fandom circulated back in the early days, or references to other fanfictions or other things like that. I have to wonder just how many of the more modern MLP fans will even recognize any of these old "brony memes"

So now, I intend to prepare you all a dish of pure, distilled cringe - finely aged for eleven years in the back of my closet - and served up directly to you, my friends.

Come, let's cringe together at 21-year-old Dusty's stupid brain spew. Bone Apple Teeth.



TWILIGHT: Pinkie, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

PINKIE RESPONSE 1: I think so Twilight, but if we were twenty percent cooler wouldn't we need jackets?

PINKIE RESPONSE 2: I think so Twilight, but how can ten seconds be flat when time, by nature, is fourth dimensional?

PINKIE RESPONSE 3: I think so Twilight, but we don't even have hands to PLAY the banjo

PINKIE RESPONSE 4: I think so Twilight, but her full name is actually Inkabella Octavia Pie

PINKIE RESPONSE 5: I think so Twilight, but we'll need a looooot of cake for a party THAT big

PINKIE RESPONSE 6: I think so Twilight, but I always thought I was way more silly than Applejack ever was!

PINKIE RESPONSE 7: I think so Twilight, but I don't even have a Pinkie sense for that!

PINKIE RESPONSE 8: I think so Twilight, but when I called Rarity a 'crazy cat lady' I didn't mean THAT!

PINKIE RESPONSE 9: I think so Twilight, but just 'cause Princess Luna only comes out at night doesn't make her the lean and hungry type!

PINKIE RESPONSE 10: I think so Twilight, but just 'cause her name is Faust doesn't necessarily mean she made a deal with the Devil.

PINKIE RESPONSE 11: I think so Twilight, but if a bear tried to make a cave into a house how would he install the plumbing?

PINKIE RESPONSE 12: I think so Twilight, but I'm pretty sure it's not actually an unauthorized biography about you. You're not even a vampony!

PINKIE RESPONSE 13: I think so Twilight, but I haven't broken any walls since I helped AJ remodel her barn!

PINKIE RESPONSE 14: I think so Twilight, but if Celestia was actually a troll wouldn't she live under a bridge?

PINKIE RESPONSE 15: I think so Twilight, but wouldn't he be cramped trying to live in a tiny blue shed like that?

PINKIE RESPONSE 16: I think so Twilight, but I don't think Dashie likes Fluttershy that way.

PINKIE RESPONSE 17: I think so Twilight, but why would Princess Luna be scared of a microwave of all things?

PINKIE RESPONSE 18: I think so Twilight, but Blinky isn't that kind of doctor!

PINKIE RESPONSE 19: I think so Twilight, but I don't think marriage between an alicorn and an abacus is strictly legal.

PINKIE RESPONSE 20: I think so Twilight, but doesn't Vinyl Scratch already have a radio show?

PINKIE RESPONSE 21: I think so Twilight, but Blinky isn't much of a singer.

PINKIE RESPONSE 22: I think so Twilight, but where would we find that many bananas at this hour?!

PINKIE RESPONSE 23: I think so Twilight, but me and Dashie? What would the children look like?

PINKIE RESPONSE 24: I think so Twilight, but socks just get so itchy in the summertime!

PINKIE RESPONSE 25: I think so Twilight, but if you tried to make cupcakes out of that then they just wouldn't taste any good!

PINKIE RESPONSE 26: I think so Twilight, but how will we convince Big Macintosh to wear garters?

PINKIE RESPONSE 27: I think so Twilight, but then wouldn't Scootaloo lay eggs?

PINKIE RESPONSE 28: I think so Twilight, but if we replaced the P with an O my name would be "Oinkie" wouldn't it?

PINKIE RESPONSE 29: I think so Twilight, but how will we convince Rarity to wear a jockstrap?

PINKIE RESPONSE 30: I think so Twilight, but arugula flavored cupcakes?!!

PINKIE RESPONSE 31: I think so Twilight, but a slice-of-life animated cartoon about us and our friends? It'd never make it past two seasons!

PINKIE RESPONSE 32: I think so Twilight, but if wishes were fishes then Fluttershy would need to put in a really big aquarium!

PINKIE RESPONSE 33: I think so Twilight, but I've been in Fluttershy's shed. There's just gardening tools in there.

PINKIE RESPONSE 34: I think so Twilight, but we're already naked!

PINKIE RESPONSE 35: I think so Twilight, but how will we ever get three manticores into one pair of overalls?!

PINKIE RESPONSE 36: I think so Twilight, but why would anypony want to pierce Pokey?

PINKIE RESPONSE 37: I think so Twilight, but I find that scratching just makes it worse.

PINKIE RESPONSE 38: I think so Twilight, but have you seen her on the floor? More like Princess Can't-Dance!

PINKIE RESPONSE 39: I think so Twilight, but I've never known anyone named Bullwinkle.

PINKIE RESPONSE 40: I think so Twilight, but... no no, it's just too silly.
TWILIGHT REPLY: We're going to steal the Declaration of Indeponydence!!!
PINKIE REPLY: THAT'S IT! THAT WAS IT EXACTLY!!!!

So there you go. Hopefully that gave you a bit of a cringechuckle to all you old fogeys like me out there.

Anyway, don't expect too much from me too soon. I'm still dealing with my own stupid bullshit, but I just kinda felt like sharing this.

Later, gators.

Comments ( 6 )

Ngl a number of the gave me chuckles.

Oh man, that’s good.
By “good” I mean pure cringe and smiles.

It’s like watching old PMV’s... you can tell how old they are by the clips.

Ah, classic in-house referential humor. Thanks, Dusty, this put a smile on my face several times over.

That story idea, from the jokes that you had, sound's like it would have been fun to write. Thanks for the share.

That's a trip down memory lane.

Glad to hear from you and sorry to hear you are struggling so much. Take care of yourself .

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