Fanfiction Review: My Roommate is a Vampire · 4:18am Oct 17th, 2013
Remember when I used to review fanfics, or for that matter, write them and do things other than lament about how much my life sucked and I deserved to die in a ditch? Well, the ditch part is still true, but this review was on the backburner for a long time. And since it is the season of All Hallows Eve, I figured it was about time to finally put this thing to bed. So let's look at Dennis the Menace's My Roommate is a Vampire.
SYNOPSIS:
Octavia and Vinyl Scratch have moved into an apartment together, and are enjoying the usual antics the fandom prescribes to them. But Octavia is starting to have suspicions about her roommate's true genus. Could the pale unicorn who only goes out at night, hates garlic, and drinks red stuff possibly be a vampire? Yes, she is.
...
No point in spoiling, because the story goes on for another twenty-something chapters after the reveal.
REVIEW:
From a technical standpoint, My Roommate is a Vampire isn't very good. Outside of the usual grammar guffaws (which aren't too bad considering how long this story is), the first-person narrative style is not utilized in a really good way. The speaker constantly makes little asides that aren't particularly amusing or informative, but instead just knock you out of the story entirely. The story also borrows heavily from the stock Vinyl/Octavia stories of old, albeit with the twist of one pony being a vampire. Really, that last sentence just about sums up the entire first half or so of the fic.
The first few chapters show a great deal of promise. Octavia's suspicions about Vinyl are brought up quite abruptly, but the weight of the reveal and its effect on the two is handled fairly well. And while I do have issues with how formulaic the Vinyl/Octavia fics can get, the vampire twist is a good idea and is executed very well in the story's early stages. But as the story progresses, things slowly unravel piece-by-piece. By the seventh chapter, I could feel that there really wasn't much to the story outside of making Vinyl Scratch a bloodsucker and repeating The Vinyl Scratch Tapes, Allegrezza, and many other fanfics of the same ilk. Vinyl's parents show up, are revealed to be two particular ponies we've seen on the show (I won't reveal who), Octavia's mom gets punched out, and the cycle repeats.
Still, I have to make an ugly confession: I actually like a good Vinyl/Octavia fic. I'm not into shipping or anything, but the fandom personalities do work off each other, and in good hands are a lot of fun to read. It's just that, having read the story for the first time since it ended, it's obvious that the vampirism was the only original twist. But those chapters were still enjoyable...
And then Octavia gets turned into a werewolf, Luna is revealed to be a vampire, and it all goes downhill.
The werewolf twist is startling for two reasons: it legitimately comes out of nowhere (in a bad way), and messes up the story's flow tremendously. What was originally a normal pony learning to live and love a vampire turns into a werewolf and a vampire attending support groups and dealing with a grand conspiracy. Dennis did say that it was all planned out, but it really didn't work in the story's best interest and sidelined what was originally a standard-but-fun story into something else entirely. And this wasn't an uncommon feeling; the comments box became a pit of molten magma pretty much every chapter after that. It also doesn't help that the story is obscenely long and, while I did enjoy the ending for being sweet and all that, pretty much everything between it and Octavia being bitten is rather dull.
CONCLUSION:
I know I've been negative, but...for all its faults, I did enjoy this fic when it was being posted and still like parts. If you're not a fan of Vinyl and Octavia's comedy duet, this really isn't the story for you. But if you like the duo...you've read this already, unless you haven't, in which case you should at least read through the first ten chapters and then see if you like what comes after.
...Sorry if I'm rusty. It's been a long time since I did these.
...
And it's time for that to change.
Yes, the reviews are back for good! And I might just bring back that blogger thing while I'm at it! And together, we can be justice!
youlikethistshirts.com/images/JUSTICE-BATMAN-LIKES-THIS-225.jpg
...Because I can.
~Momentai
Looking forward for more!
Btw, great to have you back.
1426810 omg that clip was great lol....
Welcome back!
I am SO pleased to see that somebody else thought that story completely hit the crapper when Octy turned into a werewolf. I tried to argue that myself, but everybody reading the story just whined about "why it wasn't comparable to Twilight," completely missing the point of my argument because I happened to make the mistake of saying "the lycanthropy is nothing but a superpower, like the werewolves in Twilight, which upsets the story and sends it in a bad direction."
Everyone latched onto my bringing up Twilight and completely ignored EVERYTHING else I, and anybody else who criticised the direction, were arguing.
Not to mention I find Dennis the Menace himself to be a particularly pompous example of a writer... >_>
Yay, you are my favorite fanfiction blogger, so I am glad you are back to reviewing!
Also, hugs if you need them.
Yes, it's baaaaack.
Welcome back! And I agree - you shouldn't just bring major game-changing plot points up out of nowhere like that.
...
but I don't care, I liked Antithesis
Never read the story and in all honesty I got turned off for two reasons, the paring since it has been done to death and the whole vampire thing since I really do not see the fascination with vampires or zombies. I can't judge how good this review is but I can say this, at the moment you said Luna turns out to be a vampire I know that I will definitely not read it
Still sounds like nothing I really want to read. I already knew about most of what you wrote about, or at least had it in mind.
1427560 Believe me, you didn't miss much. I read it up to and and maybone or two chapters past Octavia becoming werewolf-ified and then quit. Insertauthorhere is being too nice. Past that point, the fic took a nosedive into Suckville and never came out. Apparently Celestia is perfectly fine with her sister being an undead, bloodsucking abomination that reel in ponies to suck their blood. Well she does let Luna feed on her....somehow this doesn't turn Celestia into a vampire, but the story has other plotholes so why worry about one?!