Questions · 6:59pm Oct 16th, 2013
Let me preface this post by guaranteeing that progress has indeed been made, and actually, I'll go ahead and brag a bit by saying that I've been writing a lot as of late, even despite my new work schedule. I am now working two jobs, normally six to seven days a week (I recently worked seventeen days straight without a day off), and as one could imagine, I've less free time. However, my second job is both ridiculously fun and emotionally uplifting, because for a few hours I get paid a trifling sum to act like Pinkie Pie. That's right, I now work in a soda/candy/novelty shop, and it's too fantastic to adequately describe (though if you can imagine being paid to have fun at a theme park where there were wait times, that might come close). My boss is super cool, has nothing but "mad respect" for my being a brony, and is even bringing in a ton of MLP merchandise for me to sell in the store because he was so impressed with both my performance and my "pony testimony," as it were. So, while I'm working more now, I often come home feeling energized, and I'm sure that has something to do with all the writing I've been getting done. "So Ceru," one might say, "if you're getting more writing done, then why the hay aren't we reading it?" A fine, although difficult, question...
Those who read my last blog post may recall that I intended to begin posting chapters for "In Swept a Blizzard" when I had finished five chapters. Well, I recently finished six and began working on seven, so the problem with posting no longer relates to volume of content, but the content itself. There are times when one must let the characters write the story themselves, and watching such a thing happen is genuinely exciting for me, the author, but that also means that things don't always go as I had planned I will speak plainly: The story now stands teetering on the brink of something that would completely alter the series as you all have come to know it. Ordinarily, I would wipe such a thought from my mind and get back to crafting a tale worthy of carrying the rest of the ones that follow, but the bigger issue is that I find this new direction so invigorating, so inspiring, that I can't bring myself to leave it, even while knowing it will not only necessitate hours upon hours of editing, but no doubt draw the ire of some of you, my readers. It feels like it has been absolute ages since I felt excited to write, that I actually looked forward to sitting at my desk so that I could discover for myself what mysteries lay untapped within my heart, and as you might imagine, that's not something I'd like to simply cast aside. At the same time, what if that is what would be best for the series in the long haul? As I find myself struggling to answer these questions, so also do I find it a rather frightening prospect to begin posting: if I don't follow this new direction, I've little doubt that my progress will once again slow to a trickle. For lack of a more eloquent way to say it, I'm stuck: just like I was upon finishing "Under the Starry Skies."
It's commonly held that self-inserts are an absolutely atrocious form of fiction that are nothing but twisted fantasies of equally deranged ponies (perhaps slight exaggeration, but the bias is definitely there). However, whether ponies realize it or not, this entire series I've crafted was founded upon what was, to be sure, a self insert. I, needing a place to escape reality, put myself into the MLP universe, and in so doing created a story that some ponies actually seemed to like. It was therapeutic, and helped me overcome much of the hurt that was left in the wake of my divorce. Having never written before, there were plenty of mistakes that were made, and it is likely exactly the sort of thing that those who rail against self-inserts would sooner remove their eyelids than read, but can I really consider such a thing "bad?" Yes, there are obvious pitfalls for being so emotionally invested in a story, and I'm sure that psychology would warn of becoming too entrenched in a world that doesn't exist, but the desires, hopes, and dreams that I used to write "Tears in the Snow" were from the heart, and that's why I was able to write, and why things dried up the moment I stopped.
After "Under the Starry Skies," I was jarred from the funtastic little place I'd made for myself and forced to confront some rather challenging sides of reality. In response, I cut myself off from my stories, tried to keep myself distant from the characters for the sake of being able to claim that it wasn't "a self-insert" universe. While there were many factors, not the least of which is depression and physical condition, severing my emotional ties was perhaps the most harmful thing I could have done, both for my stories and for myself. Was it a good exercise in learning to write for characters than didn't interest me? Yes, yes it was, and that's a good skill to know. Did I make a ton of mistakes in my following story? Yes, I did. Did I enjoy writing? No... no, after that point, I didn't, and I only forced myself to continue because I hate letting people down. Could I continue to write, continuing to keep myself detached? Yes, but if doing so doesn't bring me any joy, then it will continue to come only in infrequent waves of productivity, and never linger for long. If, however, I write what pleases me, write what eases my fears and brings me comfort, then I should think that the words would come much easier.
Allow me to summarize: writing started as, and likely will continue to be, a way to express and, in part, fulfill desires that reality has seen fit to neglect. Apologies if this makes me sound like some needy, whining whelp that needs to buck up and deal with it, but I'm just being honest. My Little Pony made me feel worth when I felt worthless, clean when I felt desecrated, brought me hope for change, and offered shelter from the worries that never cease to find me. I looked at something beautiful, and genuinely wanted to be part of it. I would challenge those that speak against self-inserts to look within themselves and ask if they could honestly say that they don't feel the same. Going back to the start, to where this journey began, has helped me see that I write with my heart, not my head, and that trying to force myself to do otherwise is an exercise in exasperation. I've been told many a time to enjoy writing... well, I suppose that raises to my mind a question.
If my enjoyment of this medium results in putting myself into the fim universe to escape the harshness of reality for a time, would you all still wish to read it?
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And to the people who say
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I say
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Seriously, Ceru... DUN MAEK ME COME OVER THERE! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SHARE SAID INFORMATION WITH THE WORLD! >:[
Sounds like an Awesome job. I'm a tutor, and while it's not as awesome as being a soda jerk, I dig and know that feeling of getting paid to do something you love.
TL:DR... Lol, joking!!
I have fully understood that in reinventing the beginning of this series, that some elements of the sequels will have to change. I assume that means any and all sections that involve Cerulean.
As long as... they don't detract from the main couples in said stories, I don't think there will be many problems. Like I said before, we all came to love that bumbling oaf that Twilight fell for, and hope that in this new beginning his hoof is still well acquainted with his mouth. He has become a mainstay of the series, and I think it will burn you out pretty quickly if you have to go through them all for a full edit.
But yes, if writing from the heart makes you feel good about writing, then do so. I do, and my stories seem to do quite well. (Don't read them... they're crap.) Yes, I still wish to read it.
And I still hope that Twilight is still her adorkable self, the CMC mess about with de-coloured rainbow, and his back story remains the same. Out of all the relationships that this story has spawned, I identify easily with BangFall. I'm pretty much Freefall, so need to find my Bangles.
So in short... yes, wrtie from your heart, but do your best not to impact the other relationships that you have created. That's why we follow you, along with your amazing skills at writing.
Also... and this may sound a little weird... if you enjoy your second job so much... why don't you make that your first job?
1425036 I'm on my way... checks airline ticket prices to 'merica. Yep, I'm on my way!!!
1425050 He WANTS to. They don't need him for enough hours yet is the problem.
Are we talking a full on HIE self insert, or just more of the self-insertedness the story always had?
1425059 I don't like HiE, so just more of the "same," I guess?
1425059 The same it's already had. Not actual human human, but more his personality. (Like the original Ceru is.)
1425056 Ah.. shame that, especially as it sound that he really enjoys it.
1425059 I don't think that's what he means. I think it's putting more of 'him' into Cerulean, which will just flesh the character out more, so it's a good thing.
Although... I think Ceru would write a pretty damn good HiE...
1425074 You have no idea. I would move to where Ceru lives if I could get a job there full time. That's how awesome it is.
I would read it
You should do what you think is best for both you and the story. If a person does not like it, then they shouldn't read it and be happy with the ones you already wrote... but I mean, who wouldn't like your stories? They're awesome 
1425075 Damn Atlantic ocean... do you think a 3000+ mile commute is a little much each day?
quality of story is what I read for
Self insert doesn't matter, I still want more
So continue writing in the way that makes you soar
-Eclipse
1425078 Nah. Not if you have Pokemon, or stuff like that.
Cerulean, you can't rely on something that won't love you back to bring you back up all the time. You have to put faith and love in someone who'll love you back or has already loved you.
This kind of writing can have its place, but it shouldn't be this important to you. I'm not trying to rule over your life; I just want what's best for you, even if you don't care for what I have to say. I care for what you have to say, and I'll talk back if you talk to me.
1425071
Hard pressed, one would be
To find a story where a character is not the writers "me"
-Eclipse
...I want your job.
1425137 You mean stories with OC's, since there's a fair number where there aren't any OC's. And I'd argue that point, thank you very much! The only self-insert I have is in my Pokemon story, and even then he's quickly become another character. It's hard to make a good OC that isn't a self-insert, but some of us do know how to write them. (I own easily over 100 individual O.C's, each with a unique backstory and personality.)
1425146
Complaining I was not,
simply stating a thought
most have at least one OC
that take cues from the writers personality
-Eclipse
PS: I realize I am not one to talk
as I write worse than a newborn can walk
1425139 Tough, I already called dibs, and I did it within a few days of his having GOTTEN the job! (Yay for Skype and being a pre-reader. X3 )
Writing what you enjoy should always be your priority, having people reading and liking it is just a bonus.
1425068 Sounds great to me then.
"The Risks of Braving a Storm" and "Under the Starry Skies" are my favorite 40k+ words romance storys
. " Tears in the Snow" was good but i didnt like "Song of Whispers" 
. So if completly altering the series means that you will go back and write like tRoBaS or UtSS I'm all in 
Yeah, see what most others are saying.
As your series is one of my favorite romance fics on fimfiction, I feel I must comment!
A lot of times people assume self-insert stories means bad story-writing, a lack of imagination, unable to make up you're own unique OC, so falling back on putting yourself into the story. Some see it as just an ego boast or self-wishing.
My opinion? I've read a lot of self-insert stories(I've read A LOT of fics
) Self-inserts, as long as the story itself is good, I don't see a problem. I've read great ones, and bad ones. But the way I see it, I don't KNOW the author who's the self-insert, so it's still like learning about someone new, an OC I have not seen before. So I say keep going as you wish, how you think YOUR story should go. If the story is good, that's all that matters. Heck, I've read a few stories where it was a hardcore mary sue/stue OC, but the story was still good enough I enjoyed it. 
I love everyone one of your stories, and am very much looking forward to more in the future!
What if I told you that I have a folder on my phone just for the .epub's of your stories? (all of them)
1425068
I liked all of them, sure a few parts were slow, but all in all I loved the stories.
"Cutie Mark Catastrophe" was by far on of my favorites. (Mostly because of the "If that colt gets through this..." Scene with AJ)
If you have to go through again be my guest.
Whether its screws up even the side story (possibly will) or not is fine by me.
I will say I agree, the way most people write are quite good and they all say just that. Every good story makes its self, with a bit of hard work and characters with a soul.
I love writing and I'm trying to write a book at the moment that is actually going pretty well. I luckily learned how to adept my writing to the stories mood.
Anyways good to see you in high spirits.
Well, if that's what got us here, than I say if it ain't broke don't fix it!
I'm still going to read it, when I have the time to do so.
All stories are, to some degree, a self-insert. As you noticed, it's really hard to write for a character you don't care about. Even famous authors put themselves into the characters they write (Terry Pratchett is a really good example).
The reason people tend to hate on self-inserts so much is because a lot of writers on this site assume that because the character is based on themselves, they don't have to actually give the character a real personality. The characters you create are aspects of yourself, different facets of who you are brought to life in your writing. As long as you can keep doing that--bringing the characters you create to life rather than just making shallow, one-dimensional characters like so many others do--we'll gladly keep reading, no matter what direction you choose to take things.
Write what you want, write it well, and enjoy what you do.
My Two Cents: Roll with it.
Tears in the Snow was a story I passed up many times. It wasn't till Cutie Mark Catastrophes that I felt the need to fully read the beginning, still I was not impressed. You have crafted a wonderful world and brought loveable characters to into and around those we already know and love. Tears in the Snow was predictable and held no real respect for itself or the source material, instead being written off as "another self insert" by myself and others.
I believe that, if you are aware of the risks and changes you create through out the entire series, you should follow this new and exciting path and create a strong beginning to this legacy. We True Believers and Cerulean fans alike know and understand that the story was, and is, a self insert and accept the fact because your writing and story have been engaging and made with a love for not only the writing but the source material.
A self insert is not a bad thing. It just needs to be crafted with Love, Respect and Care
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~Grimm
p.s. I'm not sure if i want to brohoof or buck you for being able to work as Pinkie.
As most of the fellows already said, sure it's a self-insert, but it is a well written and enjoyable self insert.
Some, if not most, of SI lack an emotional depth that you do with the greatest of skill. That separates the you and the others from the twisted grotesque mass that is the standard people use.
Write what makes you happy the way you want. This is fanfiction you are writing for your own enjoyment.
Granted I will still read regardless because your skill deserves it.
I got hooked to this series because of the CMC, dude. That includes the smaller appearances even after I finally started reading 'Tears'. I haven't been reading the series for a while, but please don't stop cranking in more. If you can get me hooked even with the smaller stuff that I enjoy within your little world, I think you could afford to do whatever you want with the series.
Oh yeah, and do try to give little Dawn her own series. I LOVE her! Of course, who doesn't...
So, you're worried we won't want to read a self insert?
BWAHAHAHAAA
I'll read anything you write.
And if I were you, I would write the entire thing in the direction you want it to be heading in, and slap an AU tag on it while keeping the originals up. However, that seems like a shitload of work, so I'm fine with whatever you do.
To answer your question: Yeah, sure.
MY GOD YES.
in all honesty, I am the same, writing to escape reality, and I have to say, your stories are some amazing BECAUSE you are invested in it, your soul is put into this work and it is the singularly most amazing work I have ever read, ever, and I am directly comparing this to all the books I have read in my lifetime, your stories are the only ones I truly have these reactions to, I feel as if I am not reading words on a page, or watching a tv show, I feel like I am experiencing the soul of an amazing person with every word I read, and I love every second of it. I hope that in the future I can experience your soul's expression more. best to you and all of your days, for you are blessed with an amazing gift. thank you.