random pointless whinging · 8:46pm Sep 13th, 2013
(Before anyone gets any ideas, this blog shouldn't be taken too seriously. I'll probably be back to my arrogant, procrastinating self by tomorrow, after some good night's sleep. Teenager stuff, you know how it goes)
(Seriously, this is just me venting. Pointless and random and all that)
Goddammit.
Yesterday, I was on top of the world. I was plenty proud, satisfied with stuff, and generally genial about everything.
Today? I feel disgruntled. Not just sad. Not just pissed. Disgruntled. The sort of feeling that can be succinctly summed up with a big fat harrumph, and maybe a bit of an upper lip wriggle.
See, I've been looking at my stuff; specifically, my 2 current projects. 2000 words of the way through one of them, and 300 words or so through the other one. I took a great long look at them, then took a big look at my assorted notes and outlines and things.
I was suddenly struck by how sparse they were. This rather unwelcome epiphany rapidly descended into harrumph-worthy levels of angst and jimmy-rustledness. I literally spent my grandfather's birthday restaurant dinner just sitting and asking myself what the hell I've been doing.
I mean, an E-rated TwiLuna fic where they have an awkward blind date? Is that really the best I can do?
Let me cut the bullshit and give it to you straight: firstly, I am not an idea guy. I have never experienced one of those "eureka" story ideas — the ones that people describe with such reverence that it sounds as if the almighty Shrek himself bestowed it upon them. I have never ran home, leapt on the computer, and spewed a story onto the screen. My outlines, honestly, leave much to be desired.
Two: I have something I can only call "incredibly narrow focus". Give me a sentence, a picture, even a word, I can give you an excellent 500-ish word scene, no problem. 1000 words? Yeah, sure. 2000 word long chapter? Phew, that's pretty hefty, but maybe. 4000? Nope, nada, never, can't do it, bye.
I have never breached 4000 words in a chapter/one-shot. Actually, I've never written a (decent) story that has broken that.
I tried writing something meaty once. I ended up with "Tree on Top of the Hill", which I will not link here because I loathe it.
I tried writing a multi-chapter fic once. I got one chapter done. Admittedly, that one chapter is probably the best piece I've ever done. Remember that part that goes between the beginning and end? Yeah, that's giving me some problems. (well, i say that, i've got a little idea of where to go with it, but no promises) To be honest, I probably shot my bolt too early with that one.
I've been sticking to writing TwiLuna parables to pass the time and stop myself from stagnating. I do enjoy it, and I will keep doing them, but I still feel useless.
I told my dad about this lack of inspiration. He basically said this: "You're still only 15. Maybe you should stop tormenting yourself so much about this."
He also said I have a very "can't do" attitude. I can't really deny that, honestly.
So yeah. My first proper rant.
Maybe I'll start another collection of parables/mini-fics, like this or this.
Maybe I'll grab a bunch of people and force them to give me ideas while I threaten them with more bitching.
Maybe I'll reach some form of enlightenment and become uber-efficient.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I haven't stopped writing those two projects, btw, I'll probably shit them out some time this month (hopefully).
I actually feel a lot better now. Maybe I'll go have a wank or something.
Rants are a bit like wanking for the soul.
1347490
Trudat.
Also your new profile pic is literally the greatest thing I have ever seen.
Goatee donkle
Good lord, man! I wondered when I see one of these from you!
I figured with the lack of fics, you were having the same problem I have at the moment (though mine involves copious amounts of back-breaking and mental exhaustion). Perhaps you've forgotten the many authors who are more than willing to aid you, my friend.
I'm actually relieved that you're actively keeping your self un-stagnated, with writing-prompts. More so with your talks of collaborative stories and such. Just keep writing, and as you've proven time and again (thanks for that, btw
) your pieces will out shine the ones before them.
Just. Keep. Writing.
Craine...
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Thank you for putting up with me and my crap. Seriously, I owe you a lot, and helping you in return is always a pleasure.
Also, reading your fic. I'll drop some critique on it soon.
Craine is right.
Just keep writing. It will come to you. Eventually.
I've put up with my own fair share of Writer's Block recently. I have trouble getting started. I stare at a blank Word file for hours knowing full well that if I just start typing the words will flow. It might not be a lot of words, but they will come and sit peacfully on the screen until I re-read over them and start hacking them apart. The Twiluna Prompt thread has been a great exercise for me in consistent production.
I'm working on three stories concurrently while also writing for the prompts. It isn't getting done quickly, but it's moving and that's the important part.
Don't worry too much about it. And I'd like to point something out:
You have a lot of life left ahead of you. By the time you are twice as old as you are now(which is still younger than I am now), you will still have quite a lot of life left before you. Take solace in the fact that you a damn fine writer for one so young.
1348169
You're right, of course. I just... I dunno, really. Just felt rather down. I'll get back into the swing of things soon enough.
Wait, really? D'aww, thanks. It means a lot.
I should say, if you ever need help or want to collaborate or whatever, feel free to send me a PM my way.
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I'll keep that in mind.