Jun
19th
2013
My Little Pony - Anatomy 100: Intro to magical ponies · 10:23pm Jun 19th, 2013
Welcome class, I'm professor Twilight Sparkle. Today I'm going to give you a pony anatomy lesson so you can understand Kaidan's stories. After all, he likes to write in first person and what self-respecting pony doesn't know their frog from their hock?
Now, since this is an intro level course, there isn't much to memorize. Yes, horses have arms. The frog of their hoof is soft, and when they put weight on it, it pumps the blood stored within back up towards the heart. Last, that sexy little piece of flank is called the hock.
The test will be in 30 minutes.
a test?
Huh, I was wondering about pony anatomy when I woke from my nap like five minutes ago. Very informative, will you ever have the level of complexity that a reader needs to research where a certain body part is? And if this is an entry level course, professor, what will we be learning in higher level anatomy classes?
Haha! I knew it, I remember mentioning something like that in the last blog comment.
And now I'd love to see if you'd 'actually' post a test, just for the heck of it.
But what is it with hocks? These things look like perfect portable bottle openers for me, but I don't really see their anatomical (<- is that a word?) use otherwise. A leftover from evolution? Or something obvious I'm missing here?
Please tell me, Miss Teacher. It is your job after all and dumb students are bad for your reputation.
A TEST?!?!?!
I SUCK AT TESTS!!!
*Is far too busy drawing pony pr0n to pay attention*
haha, why do I get the feeling this is aimed at me for a certain comment I made about ticklishness earlier?
1154957
Possibly, but then it wouldn't be a pop quiz! And in Pony Anatomy 201, we learn how they grip items in their hooves. In 301, we learn how Pinkie bends her arms without using her elbow or knee joints. In 401, you learn how to be turned into a pony.
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Hock rhymes with. . . flock.
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50 question, multiple choice, and a short essay.
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A.) They're super sexy
B.) They're the equivalent of an ankle, and everything below them is part of their 'foot'.
C.) In horses, the fibula is vestigial and is a small nub attached to the tibia above the hock.
D.) All of the above.
(hint: All of the above is the right answer 99% of the time.)
Pop quiz: What digit of the hand and foot do the ponies support their weight with?
Hint:
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSXqroD6-LXYtKAXjA4un2djEHN4i1aH0TnypfyP57UgfdOEb7Xzw
1154992
Flock rhymes with... dock.
Under which some want to put their co...1154984
I changed it to frog, but I already had people ask me in chapter one what a frog was. It doesn't help that I told them it's this:
wallpaper.searchrealm.com/Reptiles/Frog/blue_bull-frog.jpg
so I added this nifty anatomy 100 lesson. In 101, we'll learn about the pony reproductive organs. Did you know female equines are incapable of orgasm? We just turned the clop world upside down!
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And so it begins, with a Pinkie Promise not to google rhyming words
*spits on hoof*
/)
Rock.
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*looks at hoof, gingerly touches spit covered one*
(\
Ok, so we have done "hock, dock, rock, flock".
Bock
1154992 ok ill try my best
1155084
Lol I was playing a PC game for the past two hours. Some jerk used an exploit so I had to try twenty times to destroy his castle....
Is bock even a real word? Anyway, I wasn't sure if we can use names or not. Until I hear back, I'll just go with clock
1155399
Lucky you, I tried updating drivers for my graphics card, wasn't sure the old ones were properly removed. I then foolishly decided to use a 3rd party program to be sure, now nothing works in Windows. WHY did I have to be lazy?
It is a sound word like clunk, but for chickens.
SMOCK
1155410
Well then, tock goes the clock while the chicken says bock.
And since my editors won't edit Shattered Prism 3 faster! I'm stuck here rhyming :(
1155454
How can rhyming be that bad. I am watching Check Disk run while rereading Mirror's Image, and I am also thoroughly pissed at myself.
Well I will take your damn clock and toss it along with a rock right under some dock which I will then secure with a lock.
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Hmm... appear it would that me you would mock
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Would it bring you any consolation if I gave you this crock?
Hmm.
This is quite interesting stuff.
Anything that diverts me from reality is excellent.
1155490
Not unless it came with a frock.
1155399 Bock is a kind of beer. And this rhyming needs to stop, I'm throwing up a block.
1155562
You can't cock block me, I'll rhyme with a sock and it'll be quite a shock!
1155581 I have more in stock, from here to Iraq.
1155529
Well, I might not have a frock but if you ask kindly, I will smack you in the buttock.
Mmh. Professor Twilight Sparkle. 10/10 would mount.
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And will there hooves-on learning involved?
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And without hocks, hoofboots and the like wouldn't look near as damn sexy as they are now. I mean seriously, just look at them....
th08.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/051/c/2/the_soul_hunter_by_ponykillerx-d4zgb4t.png
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/142/d/7/full_armour_d_vs_d_by_ponykillerx-d4rwgyr.png
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/274/9/d/no_title__by_ponykillerx-d4qzgf9.png
th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/189/5/c/fluttershy_by_shadawg-d56hdy2.png
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2013/055/8/9/octavia_vbss_by_shadawg-d5w3v05.png
th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/024/c/f/unicorn_corps_by_lunarapologist-d4ni3po.jpg
I think I may have a hoofboot fetish...
*raises hand* ummm I need more time, i ate my test.
I mean my dog ate my test heh heh,
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See me after class.
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I have a hock fetish.
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Cut him open and finish the test or I'm giving you an F+
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Deal, let me take stock, then smack my buttock.
1156239
Did you not already use stock, or is it legal to use since neither of us typed it ya damn jock.
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What is up with Rainbow Dash and showing her ass? I like Lyra's smile...
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Ask Spock or Tuvok, they are sleeping in a hammock
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Would they be opposed to me owning a Glock, or smacking someone with a shuttlecock?
1156278
Well this went into r34 terriroty rather quickly...
Let's have a little talk,
about your small cock.
It vagina's are a lock,
and the key is your cock,
then you must push a lot farther,
try lifting a collock to make said cock harder.
1156239
Yeah, not sure if hock fetish or hoofboot fetish, but regardless - sexiness.
Silly me, just realized I forgot to post Scoots in hoofboots.
img.photobucket.com/albums/v426/RoboRed/eop_scoots_zps886a9ece.png
That's what I get for doing all that shit at 2 in the goddamn morning...
1156356
Hocks rock! Esp. Socks on hocks!
Whether humanized
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSqDhXAUbykvodMUDfhkjrxJhY2bpXPVOhBH7DrndUmH77kV7l6GQ
or pony
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDcvMjUvMDFfNDJfNDVfMTUwXzU1NDM4X19zYWZlX3Njb290YWxvb19hcnRpc3RfYXBoZXhhbmdlbF9zdGFsa2VybG9vX2Fza19zdGFsa2VybG9vIl0sWyJwIiwidGh1bWIiLCIyNTB4MjUwIl1d/55438__safe_scootaloo_cute_adorable_heart-attack_latex_adorable-as-fuck_artist-aphexangel_stalkerloo_ask-stalkerloo.png
or even without latex
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSeRPZoDtyeyFw83ppm5Y2fThD2dI3rB--dhf7kh7hvCIe8orS_
Scootaloo is best filly.
(Best pony is trickier. It's a six-way tie between TS, RD, Scoot, Lyra, Vinyl, and Octy. I should make a story where they're the new mane six.)
1156337
R34 territory? A shuttlecock is that thing to play badminton with. It's about as sex related as a warlock, probably even less so.
Though I am liking all these hot hocks.
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Undock, then come sail away. Come sail away. Come sail away with me.
1156882
You start singing that and you just can't stop.
Somepony is gonna get put in an armlock for this.
1156888
That's bullock.
1156889
Sounds like someone is cruis'in for a bruis'in. Someone is gonna have to knock your block off.
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That's poppycock. Nopony bruises the Great and Powerful OC-less Author Kaidan!
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I get the feeling if we keep this up we may end in wedlock.
No worries, not everyone needs an OC, you are at least closer than I.
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Shammock.
Not sure how to use in a sentence, but I know it's a word! Mwahaha!
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Why do I get the feeling you are using the internets? I doubt you shammocked your way into these words. (It sounds like a verb, so therefore it must be!) That is, unless you have a shamrock!
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If I broke the rules, Pinkie would give me a mohawk.
Haven't you ever played scrabble? You don't have to know what the word means you just have to know it exists, like qi or alfalfa or tine or dalliance!
No, wait, not the scrabble rulebook!
(but I am running out of rhymes, I mean, mohawk? that's the best I can do? And I might as well call hawk too or else the ball will be back in my court.)
1157225
Well, if we are calling hawk as well, then does that count mean all the other words that ended in -mock or -rock don't count? And does tomahawk to longer work as well? Cause I guess I could use gawk or Bangkok.
1157534
I guess we can call multiple words per round. Otherwise, this may go on forever! and ever! and.... I...
must be something I can rhyme left. Aha! an adhoc network!
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Let's just say you win, I experienced a head crash and just lost all my data on my backup drive in the middle of a fresh reinstall of Windows.
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NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sucks. I've never had a head failure.
Just in time too, I spent the whole drive to work trying to think of something that rhymed with cock. Let's call it a draw because you are a most worthy adversary.
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I don't know what I did or why it worked, but leaving the drive unplugged for about 10 minutes brings the backup back to life for maybe an hour at a time. So I have all my pony backgrounds but am going to piss off my roommate and Comcast with re-downloading all the games.
Yeah, we are running out of words, I even started using proper nouns, did you know that there is a little town in California called Turlock I just remembered about. I drive through it every time I go home from college (or return).