Analysis of a Good Author's Works: Thanqol · 8:39pm Apr 23rd, 2013
Pacing is an important issue in writing a story. There are stories that move at a very brisk pace, in order to create a sense of action; The Descendant’s Certain Advantages would fit in this category, as would Sorren’s “Just Another Delivery.” There are stories that move at a leisurely pace to make people relax, like Martian’s “Dance.” Then there are stories that move at a much slower pace, either to help readers appreciate something in-depth, like in shortskirtsandexplosions’s “The Gift,” or if the author intends for people to contemplate the gravity of something.
On February ninth, 2012, Equestria Daily posted a story with the tags “shipping” and “bittersweet” with this synopsis: “ Distance can drive us apart. It can also bring us closer together. After all is said and done, and the ponies have gone their separate ways, the only way they have to keep in touch is through letters.” [1] This story is called “Yours Truly,” and it deals with the Mane 6 branching off into their own lives, and how they attempt to stay close to each other through letters. All but 120 words of this story is written as an epistolary, and the letters cover a wide range of concern the characters can have.
About two-and-a-half months later, it was published on FimFiction.Net, some time after his one-shot “The Zecorax.” Since then, Thanqol has published five more stories, giving him a total of seven stories on FimFiction.Net. Four of them are one-shots (sorta), three of them have multiple chapters, and his shortest one-shot is around 3,200 words, while his second-shortest is almost 8,500. What sort of content can be gathered from these stories? That will be explored in the second Author-in-Focus.
Author in Focus: #14727 Thanqol
Most Well-Known story: “Yours Truly”
Thanqol’s been a member since February 19th, 2012. He has written seven stories: three one-shots; one “one-shot” that is actually “a series of disconnected forum posts;” [2] and three multi-chapter stories, one being a sequel to the other. Two of them are Slice-of-Lives, the two-part stories are crossovers with the Sherlock Holmes series by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and the other three are a Dark, a Comedy, and a Romance/Sad.
In this blog, I will attempt to analyze Thanqol’s writing style as a whole, as well as analyze each individual story’s craft, as well as how they stand as stories themselves—not analyzing craft, but merely how enjoyable they could be. I will project some of my own opinions into this analysis, and I apologize if that bothers you.
Here is how the stories will be presented:
1. The Zecorax
2. Do Not Serve These Ponies
3. A Study In Rainbows & The Hound of Ponyville
4. Easy As Lying
5.The Old Stories
6. Yours Truly
“A Study In Rainbows” and “The Hound of Ponyville” are two different stories, but they’ll be talked about as one entry because “Hound” is the sequel to “A Study”. I’m also critiquing “The Old Stories” later than the others—even though it sequentially comes third—because this story has been featured in the Pony Fiction Vault; since “Yours Truly” is his most notable work, I’ll be looking at that last.
Before I get into the actual stories themselves, I feel like I should get my own personal biases and faults out of the way. I personally don’t care about Lyra-obsessed-with-human stories, so that may affect my opinion of “Do Not Serve These Ponies” negatively. I’ve read parts of “A Study in Scarlet” and part of “The Hound of the Baskervilles,” the source materials for his crossovers, so I have a rough inkling on how the stories are similar and different; I have also watched an audiobook version of “The Lorax” that you can find here. I believe that these are the only biases that will greatly affect my opinion on these stories.
Now that that’s out of the way, Let’s get into the works of Thanqol!
In case you haven’t already figured out by the title, this is a combination of “Zecora” and “The Lorax,” a Dr. Seuss book. Instead of cutting down Truffula trees and using their tuft to create thneeds, Filthy Rich wants to have control of the market of Zap Apples, and uses Derpy Hooves (he uses this name in this particular story) to help him.
According to Thanqol himself, this story was written in the span of fourteen hours for a contest, so focusing on the craft of it may not be as important as focusing on the story itself. It begins with Derpy Whooves recounting how she lost her job with little direct confessions(like once saying that “anvils were creatively relocated”). She is picked up by Filthy Rich, who believes her gullible enough to join him on a venture to collect Zap Apples out-of-season so he can sell them. Soon the story takes the course of “The Lorax,” where many ponies are battling for control of the Zap-Apple market.
Zecora acts as the pony that speaks for the trees, but unlike the Lorax, she doesn’t justify the importance of the flora or fauna in the Everfree Forest. in fact, she speaks more for safety of the characters than the safety of the forest. This could be because there’s not a lot known about the Everfree Forest still (and more importantly, at the time this was written), and really, the trees could be seen as a harbinger of monsters and such, a natural habitat that keeps them (usually) from roaming into Ponyville or other towns. When the climax of the story happens, the monsters are sent throughout Equestria, rampaging through various cities. This is somewhat different from the Lorax, where the death of the trees sends the much-less-threatening creatures out of their home, but the similarities between them fall on what lifelessness and ugliness replaces the scenery.
And unlike “The Lorax,” which is told from the point-of-view of the antagonist, “The Zecorax” is told from the viewpoint of Derpy Whooves, a pony that acts mainly as a witness. She tags along with the malevolent Filthy Rich in systematically destroying the forest, and doesn’t have any interaction with the Flim Flam Brothers, who show up about halfway through the story. She stays loyal to Filthy even as she witnessed the destruction, but there is hope for her. She is the pony that realizes that there is hope for the future, and that she can help the forest grow again. It may grow to once again be a place for monsters, but it would be preferred to the desolate place where the sun and moon don’t shine.
Craft-wise, there probably isn’t a lot to gleam from this story, but as a story on its own, I personally find it to be an enjoyable story. The similarities with “The Lorax” help drive the theme across, while the differences help keep it consistent with the universe it takes place in. It’s short, it’s simple, and though not exactly sweet, it’s worth at least one readthrough.
Cloud Kicker’s train of thought ran headlong into a passing whale, who had been briefly confused about what he was doing on the railroad tracks.
I might as well say it: this is my favorite Thanqol piece. I like it better than both “The Old Stories” and “Yours Truly.” It’s a rare story that has me laughing all the way through, and this one had me laughing all the way through (the only other one I can recall that’s done this is The Descendants’s “Certain Advantages”). It’s not only hilarious, but the plot takes the concept of Lyra’s obsession with humans and goes on a tangent so odd that it stays gripping throughout.
Craft-wise, I think this may be a very good story to read to see how a good third-person omniscient story is told. At least, I think it’s third-person omniscient. It jumps around from scene to scene, describing what different characters are doing at certain times; Bon Bon are two important characters that are followed along in the story. The point-of-view is used for some great comedic timing, as well as to show various aspects of the action, from Lyra’s speculation on a certain human to Shining Armor’s dealings with hats—both a major plot point. It doesn’t jump around in a haphazard manner, but instead pops with life as the action happens.
It’s also a great story to read in an observation of lively pacing and characterization. The characters all sound like the characters, and with the background characters with little-to-no defining dialogue, like Lyra and Bon Bon, the dynamic with them is both consistent and believable. The action plays out in a lively manner, and even the scenes of planning have an adventurous feel to them It’s hard to articulate how lively the pacing and characterization is, so the best that I can say is the simply say the pacing is lively and the characters are all believable and life-like.
And there is the actual story itself. Lyra is on her human craze yet again, and eventually she finds a tar-covered “human.” A search for the human on Prince Blueblood’s part brings up a conspiracy dealing with hats, as well as a marriage that was not meant to be. Shining Armor and Bon Bon are drawn into Lyra and Blueblood’s antics, and soon a full-fledged problem arises. I think this story is great in melding so many plot elements together, while still having a comedic air to it and making sense.
To reiterate, this is my favorite story by Thanqol overall. I like its comedy and how it’s paced, the story and how complicated, fluid and interesting it is, and the characters and how varied and believable they. Thanqol also plays around with quotations with the character Trustworthy McLegitimate, and it sets him apart from the rest in an eye-catching manner. I could probably go into more detail on this, but in the interest of keeping this short, I’ll end talking about it here before I go on nothing but lavish praise for it (I will say that if you’re looking for a good comedy, check this out).
Note: This is the cover for “A Study In Rainbows”; there is no cover for “The Hound of Ponyville”.
This will be difficult for me to do.
These two stories are adapted from two stories of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle: “A Study in Scarlet” and “The Hound of the Baskervilles. On Equestria Daily, “A Study In Rainbows” has been hailed as Thanqol’s masterpiece. It places Rarity as Sherlock Holmes Rainbow Dash and Rainbow Dash as Watson; in “A Study,” Fluttershy acts as the character of Lestrade, and in “The Hound,” Trixie acts as Dr. Mortimer. The first showcases Rarity’s attempt to solve a fashion-sabotage scandal, while the second deals with trying to find Fluttershy, who has been ponynapped.
I will say that he adheres to the style of the stories well enough, and the similarities between events of the books and events in his stories are fairly similar. It’s quite impressive how he related certain characters in the MLP universe to characters in Sherlock’s world, such as Trixie as Dr. Mortimer, and how certain clues are similar in both stories. I also find it neat how he differed in certain aspects; for example, in Doyle’s “A Study,” Sherlock is the one who follows the carriage of the person that retrieved the ring, while in Thanqol’s story, it’s Rainbow Dash (as Watson) that goes after it because she’s more of an athlete. These similarities and differences, in my opinion, make these stories fairly special.
However, it is with a heavy heart that I say I didn’t like “A Study In Rainbows.” I don’t believe it’s a bad story; I just don’t have a taste for it, and I think I know why. Do not take what I’m about to say as a criticism against Thanqol, but take it as something I personally gripe about: I think Rainbow Dash made a good Watson, but I don’t like how she narrated. It sounds almost exactly like Watson, and that’s my problem: It doesn’t sound at all like Rainbow Dash. It’s antiquated, and Thanqol was going for that, so he succeeded; in my own opinion, though, reading Rainbow Dash as this character was infuriating. I liked “The Hound of Ponyville” better, since there seemed to be more action for Rainbow Dash, but my problems with the tone still arise.
I will say that, objectively, his plots play out quite well, and there’s a high amount of innovation here. These stories show a great sense of character on Thanqol’s part. Having Rarity as Sherlock Holmes instead of Twilight Sparkle appears to be a good move. Twilight Sparkle is a busy character whose knowledge stems from all the reading she does; Rarity, on the other hand, reads smutty romances and makes dresses, and her knowledge comes from astute observations (and the dark spells both Holmes and Rarity experience create a nice link). Rainbow Dash as Watson is a nice choice of character (although, again, hearing her narrate like Watson takes away her personality as Rainbow Dash for me); she’s brash and likes to get things done. Gilda makes a nice brief appearance as Rainbow Dash’s orderly, while Fluttershy makes a nice appearance as Lestrade. His choice of other characters, including the villains, also makes coherent sense. Also included in “The Hound of Ponyville” is Pinkie Pie and Blueblood, who’re used most effectively as victim and infatuation-interest.
So, in conclusion with these two stories, they’re put together well, and their similarities AND differences make them good reads; I’m just turned off by the style Thanqol chose to write Rainbow Dash’s thoughts in, turning this from “This is really innovative, I can totally see it happening” to “This is almost unbearable [TO ME]”. Don’t let my talking about its style deter you from giving it a go. If you like Sherlock Holmes, you’ll most likely enjoy these two stories.
This story’s (or “experimental psychology,” as Thanqol puts it) discussion will have to be brief, since revealing anything about darn-near any part of this would give this story away. I must post an apology to Thanqol about this story: despite it not being intended to be enjoyable as you’ve indicated in your summary, I did enjoy it, and I apologize for that.
Anywho, like in “The Zecorax,” quotation marks play a role in the overall effect of the story; in fact, they are absolutely vital. Take a look at his first sentence:
“Rarity woke up.
In case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t forget a quotation mark at the end of this. Nor is there another quotation mark in the next paragraph. This is not a mistype on his part; it actually plays an important role in the story.
How the story is arranged also plays an important role in the story. It begin with Rarity finding herself in a treasure-filled cave. After indulging herself in the gold and jewels, she eventually decides she has to escape. As she wanders on, she eventually decides to lie down and die. The next moment finds herself sitting across the table from Applejack. This is an awkward transition, but that’s not a criticism. It’s necessary for the story.
That really is all I can impart with before I get into spoiling the richness of this piece. If you want to look for psychological experimentation, then I highly recommend reading this story. It’s definitely one where a person can observe how punctuation and stylistic choices can greatly alter a story, and how a plot can be flipped around and jumbled up to the benefit of the story.
These are five stories out of the way. Thanqol does have a way with dealing with characters and punctuation marks, and he knows quite a bit about timing and plot. These last two stories are stories that have been put into the Pony Fiction Vault, so these can be considered Thanqol’s best work.
Note: This will spoil most of “The Old Stories” for those who haven’t read it yet. It’s not as much a discussion of it as much as its significance.
I’ll do my best to treat these last two with a bit more detail, since they encompass quite a bit. This story’s main point is the Mane 6 telling stories of old, of when Celestia was younger and was working on creating the sun. The events are told from these ponies in order: Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash. This story also includes an entry by Princess Celestia, who sets out to correct the stories and add a crucial piece of information that links them all together and makes them more accurate.
I’d like to begin this not by going into a discussion of what’s good or not, but rather talking about its entry into the Pony Fiction Vault. Why, out of every story that deals with the past and Celestia’s past, why this story?
My first theory about this is what is being discussed. Thanqol doesn’t talk about the formation of Equestria as a whole, but rather two topics that are much simpler than that: Celestia’s creation of the sun and rise to power, as well as exemplars of the elements of harmony being either created or demonstrated. What’s nice about Thanqol’s style of storytelling here is nice, as the two points of focus—the creation and rise of Celestia & the importance of the elements of harmony—are not completely separate from each other. It’s a story of discovery, and the discoveries Celestia makes in relation to the elements of harmony actually play a part in the creation of the sun and her eventual rule. It’s not just some person interpretation of how it was like before Equestria; there’s actually a personal story told to it, which most likely entices readers to root for somepony.
Speaking of personal stories, another theory as to why this story is worthy of going into the Vault is how the stories are presented. It isn’t told from some text that just praises Princess Celestia (not that that's a bad thing, but it wouldn’t fit this particular story). Thanqol utilizes the Mane 6 to portray stories in a semi-personal manner. Applejack tells the story of how the spirit of Honesty was used by a pony to do his bidding, and Rarity tells the story of how the spirit of Generosity tried to win the heart of a lady. With these stories, readers not only get to see how Celestia grows, but bits of what the Mane 6 find important to them. Fluttershy holds the act of helping, and not the act of forcing others to do what she wants, to be personal, while Rainbow Dash holds the story of Soarin von Richtofen as a sign of offering loyalty to true friends.
Although these miniature stories are good stories that can stand alone, some of them don’t go well with the morals the characters imbue on them at the end of them. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie’s stories have morals that go hoof-in-hoof with the stories being told; Rarity’s story goes somewhat well with the moral presented. Applejack, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash’s stories, while enjoyable for the most part, do not go well with their morals. Celestia’s moral to all of these stories doesn’t address the morals of the stories, but something held dear to her: her love for her sister. It dawns on the reader that these stories can have an entirely new dimension, and the fact that they’re old really deems them more as legends than stories, if something important like Luna’s involvement is forgotten.
The first story told is by Applejack, and it’s about Metal Mask (this being the name of Thanqol’s OC) acquiring the power to bend the truth to his (or rather, when Celestia clarifies the stories, her) will. It’s a story where a pony wins a bet with the spirit of Honesty, and uses her to make her a pony of great-yet-false talents.
This story shows Celestia when she first comes to power, and this is where I have to begin to complain about the moral aspect of the stories. It’s not a cautionary tale about the value of honesty; it’s more of a tale of how a pony manipulated Honesty to do his/her bidding, basically making every lie she had become the truth. The problem I have with it is that it becomes a tale of how Celestia uses her own lie to claim a throne, making this story be about how more clever manipulation, and not the simple truth, won in the end. If it had just been about how cruel she was to everypony, even though everything she said was the truth—like, for example, if there was a famine and upon being questioned by it she said everything was fine, and they believed it—the truth about the value of honesty would be more apparent. It is, however, just a tale of manipulation.
Before recently, I would’ve excused this as bad writing, but something has come up recently that has made me rethink the values of these stories. Thanqol posted a blog on 13 April 2013 explaining why Rarity’s ending in “Yours Truly” was so unsatisfying (which I’ll get to in that review), and it made me think that perhaps I shouldn’t look at the stories just as is, but rather on what it shows about the universe. For example, from Celestia’s confession about Applejack’s story, it’s revealed that the reason she chose to confront Metal Mask was because Luna made a mask for Celestia, and said it was prettier than Metal Mask’s; it’s also revealed that lies and dishonesty are a result of the corruption that happened while Honesty was imprisoned. These details have been lost with time, though, and Applejack has taken simple facts—that Celestia is their ruler and that being dishonest is bad—and put them at the forefront. This detail about the corruption of Honesty would probably ruin what Applejack was taught, that honesty was the best policy and that it took guts, and not merely an avoiding of the corruption, to tell the truth. This is what I’m getting from it.
So what does this have to do with bad writing and all that? Perhaps the stories should, ultimately, be flawed in a sense, and not be too wound up by logic. Perhaps those small flaws in it speak about the characters telling them, like Applejack not knowing the corruption of Honesty to focus on the strength of the truth; that’d make sense, since it’s revealed that Metal Mask is a descendant of the Apple family, and they may not wish for others to know that they were the cause of deceit and dishonesty—either that, or their lineage was just lost, and they heard about this cruel tyrant, and took it as a sign of the strength of honesty. I believe thinking like this would help mitigate the flaws in Twilight Sparkle’s story as well, because her story is probably the most flawed of them all. In it, Celestia attempts to make the sun, and she asks for the help of the foremost scholar of magic at the time, Starry Notions. They research how to make a sustainable fuel and how to control it, but Starry Notion concludes that it’s impossible. Twilight, in her admiration of magic-scholars in the past, talks a great deal about Starry Notions, even though, as Celestia suggests, he was a grouch and a recluse. In Twilight’s version of the story, the scholar comes to Celestia’s aid at the end and helps her make the sun—not in the friendship manner so much as the deux ex machina manner, while in Celestia’s version, it was not him but Luna who helped her make the sun (and out of which the moon was born). Twilight’s story has a deus ex machina, and since Starry Notions was a recluse, it is odd that he was placed as the helper for Celestia; however, given that it is Twilight Sparkle, her admiration for magic and learning would probably have her elevate Starry Notions and misplace him in this role. The “flaw,” if that’s what it is, helps define the character.
The same thing can also be applied for Rainbow Dash’s story, although the link to the Elements of Harmony is a bit clearer in this one. This story isn’t a picture of loyalty gained, but rather a picture of where loyalty begins. Loyalty must begin with a sign of either trust or compassion, and Celestia does come through to help Soarin von Richtofen (a reference to the user darthbobcat) when he needs it. It begins with two feuding kingdoms, and the leader of each kingdom, Celestia and Soarin, decide to have a competition to prove who deserves to rule the land. This fits Rainbow Dash’s characterization of being attracted to strength, speed, and all-around awesomeness. Celestia herself says that the story that happens is mostly true, except it’s missing one character, so it is a story that shows how to gain loyalty, even when you’re enemies. It’s a story that fits Rainbow Dash’s bravado very well.
The other three stories portray the Elements they’re linked to much more closely than Applejack’s, Twilight’s or Rainbow Dash’s. Rarity’s story is a romance—a fitting genre for her—that focuses on the spirit of Generosity trying to woo the fair mare Olympia—a name that is based on a shotgun owned by one of Thanqol’s friends. It shows how just having a great deal of wealth isn’t all that people want, and what it truly means to be generous. Pinkie Pie’s story of The Fox—a reference to Raz Fox—is about a wily spirit that, for some unknown reason (and this is not a criticism), pranks and terrorizes ponies. However, when he does his deeds to Celestia, she ends up laughing, and the Fox becomes determined to help everypony smile. Laughter may not be the panacea of all problems, but Pinkie Pie’s story shows that laughter can help people get through tough times like the one the Fox caused. Rarity’s romance is more a fable, and Pinkie Pie’s story is a very small story, and along with having morals, both stories are interesting.
Fluttershy’s tale is probably the story that most exemplifies a well-balanced mixture of a gripping story and a good moral, while still being linked to the character. In this story, Fluttershy tells of Red’s Keeper (an anagram of EsperDerek), who controls the weather. The pegasi try to help her, and when one is injured, Keeper keeps the pegasi from entering the air, and also does her best to make sure nopony steps a single hoof in danger. Like Fluttershy, who has influence over her animals, Keeper makes an effort to exert a lot of influence over Equestria; both of them want to make sure that nopony gets into danger, and will step up to make sure it doesn’t happen. Keeper’s overbearing kindness comes into conflict when Celestia tries to complete her journey with the sun, almost killing her. It is the tale of how the sun was placed in the sky, and how Red’s Keeper found the balance between kindness and free will. It is a story that shows that kindness in a state of power doesn’t come from controlling every little thing, but being a helper when things go awry. It’s a large-scale story for the pony that prefers the comfort of her small cottage.
With all of these stories, they explore the origins or great demonstrations of the Elements of Harmony, while still being pertinent to the ponies that are telling them. It’s a great story to look at to observe how point-of-view affects the tone, revelations and validity of stories that are told in the first person, as well as to observe how stories can be linked by one simple concept, which is revealed by Celestia in the end. It tickles the imagination while still being near and dear to the characters we love.
And now to the big one. Thanqol’s most well-known story, the one that has recently reached 1,000 likes on Fimfiction.Net. A story about relationships kept, changed and lost. This is
In his interview for the Pony Fiction Vault concerning this story, he said some things that should be noted for this observation. His inspiration was seeing Rainbow Dash writing a letter to Fluttershy asking “What do you want from me,” and the story evolved from there. Letters are important to Thanqol, since he was once in a long-distance relationship that didn’t work out. He also set out to show the power of both honesty and distance in terms of friendships drifting apart.
I don’t mean to justify how late this entire project has been, but it may’ve been in good fortune that I didn’t complete it. In what I know to be his very first blog post on FimFiction.Net, Thanqol talks about why he cut off Rarity’s story arc without so much as a ho-hum from anypony else. That was something that had also bothered me when I first read it, but his explanation made me think about stories in a new way. Sometimes stories are cut off and we don’t get to know how anyone else sees it, merely because they’re forgotten. Rarity’s story was Thanqol’s portrayal of a friendship that had been forgotten. This isn’t talking about the story yet; it’s only meant to present an enlightenment for me in terms of personal stories, which affected how I viewed “The old Stories” upon reading it again; my review of that would’ve been much more negative and immature if I had posted it earlier.
Are there flaws with “Yours Truly”? Perhaps. But this story isn’t known for its flaws. It’s known for being a very touching, sad story that shows how friendships drift apart and how important letters are in maintaining them. So I feel that it would benefit most to focus on how Thanqol portrays such powerful bonds between the characters, and shows how distance really strengthens or weakens friendships.
Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Rarity all move out of Ponyville in order to either pursue their dreams (Rainbow Dash becomes a Wonderbolt) or take up great opportunities (Twilight becomes a professor in Hoofington while Rarity sets up her business in Canterlot); Applejack and Fluttershy both stay in Ponyville and go about their business. While Pinkie Pie prepares for… well something big (spoilers: she becomes an air pirate). This set-up immediately feels relatable, how some of our friends move on to bigger and better things while others are content with what they’re doing in their hometown. This set-up also feels like it couldn’t have happened any other way. Rainbow Dash and Rarity do seem to be destined to move on to bigger and better things, while Twilight’s bright mind and study of magic would lead her to bigger and “better” things; Applejack and Fluttershy, being the down-to-earth ponies as they are, would stay in their town. I theorize that one reason this story sticks so strongly with people is that the set-up for the distance created feels like it must happen, and that creates the test for friendship and love.
The two anchor ponies, Applejack and Fluttershy, note how quiet and lonely things are when their friends go off their separate ways. In the beginning of the story, Applejack notes how everypony is taking it, with Rarity being dramatic and Fluttershy pining away for Rainbow Dash. When Rarity and Pinkie Pie leave, Applejack begins to think that sending Twilight letters about herself would bore her, and Fluttershy soon faces the conflict of having Rainbow Dash visit more often or keeping out of her life to help her achieve her dream. With the quieter characters, the loss of adventure—especially the ones with their friends—makes questions of their influence on their friends arise. Applejack wonders if anypony would find her boring, and the fact that Twilight does find her interesting brings them closer; with Fluttershy, she really wishes to spend time with Rainbow Dash, hoping not to lose her to the fast-paced life of the Wonderbolts.
The other three ponies have their own problems to deal with. Twilight enjoys most of her time in Canterlot, but doesn’t seem to bond with anypony there like she did in Ponyville; the letters from Applejack are the only place where she can truly be herself, and she values them highly. Rainbow Dash wants to spend her time with Fluttershy, and is willing to play truant to her Wonderbolts training. Despite her success in Canterlot, Rarity finds herself wanting to be with Spike, who has began a century-long slumber so he can grow. In Rarity’s particular case, she fades from the story mid-way, which is significant to Thanqol in that it represents how friends can fall out from each other. The conclusion of Rarity’s story arc is bittersweet: it makes two characters happy, but it also cuts Rarity out of the others’ lives. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy’s arc, as well as Twilight and Applejack, continues on a less bitter note.
How does this tie in to the actual craft of storytelling? I believe it shows how tied together characters are, how characters don’t really react the same way they would with other characters; it also shows that no characters really have the same destiny. Like at the end of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy (I must confess to not reading the books yet), where every character went their separate ways, sometimes characters branch off to do their own thing, united only in certain causes. There are various things that drive characters apart, but there are also forces that drive characters closer together, and this story shows that sometimes, distance is needed to show characters what is truly important to them.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy’s story differs from Twilight and Applejack’s story in one crucial aspect: how close they are. Whereas Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy become closer than ever before, and plan on staying close to each other, Twilight and Applejack decide not to drop everything and be with each other, because that would betray who they are. I won’t say that this is ideal for relationships to truly work—I’ll let you make your own opinion on that—but I will say that it is believable, and sympathizable, even admirable, possibly. Both pairs take a far different approach to their relationships, which shows a wide range of how to deal with situations; these paths are also believable given who the characters are.
Pinkie Pie is the neutral character in all of this, interacting with all characters and keeping the motif of friendship strong. Unlike some characters, she doesn’t find romance, but she does up her antics to a greater cause. She is the pony two characters go to for advice, and she consistently goes around interacting with them. She seems to be an otherworldly pony in this story; when people drift apart, they don’t usually have anchors to relay to for interactions with each other, but Pinkie Pie, being a pony that can be crazy with ideas, whose goal in life is to make ponies happy, fits the position of anchor very well.
Getting back to that thought of uniting in certain causes, the characters are all drawn to something about ¾ of the way through the story. With this situation, dealing with Celestia and Luna, various characters work together to make the best of the situation, seeing a cameo from Lyra and Pip. It is a conflict that tests one of the greater powers, and all of the characters’ working together is the climax of the story (I think), where despite the distance, they can be brought back together. There is even a moment after the resolution of the conflict that they all come together to celebrate. It was a conflict that spanned across Equestria, and it united the friends once again.
Cutting ahead fifty years, the letters are still going, although only eight more (and a WANTED sign) appear. There is a feeling of fading times happening at the end, where things are beginning to conclude quickly, as there’s a fifty-year jump from one letter to the very next. From these aged letters that show a great deal of wisdom and contemplation in them, the story ends with one letter that was lost way back when, bringing Twilight and Applejack’s arc to full circle. I believe Thanqol ended the story this way because this particular thing needed to be shown, it needed to be present to show that Applejack had been honest with her all along. It keeps the characterization consistent, while resolving everything with a sense of peace, renewal and surprise.
Does this story have any flaws to it? Maybe. Any problems I have with it are either microscopic grammatically-questionable things (and I don’t mean incorrect grammar; I mean grammar that doesn’t seem to fit the tone of certain letters) or trivial things reached by overly overthinking. This story is beautiful that shows the importance of honesty, characterization, reaching out to important characters, and distance. It explores the characters’ various futures with both bright hopes and bittersweet choices. Craftwise, I think it’s a great story to study to see how exploring implications of actions can lead to various other actions and thoughts, as well as how certain characters interact with other characters (which isn’t the be-all-end-all of character interactions, but merely how it can be achieved believably and, more importantly, significantly). “Yours Truly” is a story of significant character interactions, words and choices, and I think if I were to scour it for flaws, I’d be wasting my time. Sorry, critics, you may find something wrong with it, and that’s fine, but I find it compact enough to satisfy me.
And there would be my analysis and thoughts on Thanqol’s stories. So what do I think I can take from his works?
-Grammar: Thanqol likes to play around with quotation marks in his stories, making some great effects with them. I think, with some more practice, I may try playing around with punctuation marks in the future to possibly benefit my stories.
-Characterization: Thanqol's characterizations are not only spot-on for the characters, but most of them appear to be significant to the plot, and further advance the story and the character's relationships. I think I've learned that character actions shouldn't just be there to keep a character in character; they should also be used to create something, and if they're not, then it needs to be worked on, because it would be dead space there regardless of accurate characterization.
-Focus: Recently, I've been thinking that stories should explore as much as possible. They should tell a story, yes, but there should also be reaching implications of both the theme and the main action. Like in Yours Truly, where the concept of distance was explored with all of the Mane 6, but we also got a glimpse into other characters like Lyra and the royal sisters, and with Easy as Lying, where the concept of perfect thoughts is explored with various areas of life and facts known or created about Rarity. I personally like this branching inclusiveness, and I'll strive and work that into my own writing.
There are probably many more things I have gleamed or will gleam from re-reading his works, but these are the big ones. You can take whatever you want from him, but I strongly urge you to give his works a readthrough. If you're looking for stories that leave you contemplating about the future of the beloved characters, Thanqol's stories are a good place to go.
I am striving to improve the way I review things, so if you have suggestions as to how I can improve, please feel free to say so. Also, I tried reducing the number of times I used the words "nice" and "interesting".
Also, if you're interested, here are other reviews I've done:
An Analysis of the works of Sorren
A review of Martian's Dance
A review of bookplayer's Of Cottages and Cloud Homes
Notes Upon Conclusion of this analysis:
-For notes on why Thanqol named his characters that way in The Old Stories, look at this comment.
-Easy as Lying appears to stem from Yours Truly, so I'd suggest reading the latter before reading the former.
Could've saved you a lot of trouble on Yours Truly--bittersweet as fuck, worth your time and tears every time.
I admit I've never read anything else of his, but in general I think you're pretty spot on with your reviews. If perhaps suffering from that 'thinking too much' syndrome that more casual readers can find aggravating. Still, it's good--there's thought and meaning behind your review and criticisms, so keep on keepin' on, man.
Also, be careful on your point in 'Inclusiveness'. I'd advise against 'as much as possible', because sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes people just want a duck, man. Not a yellow, feathered, web-footed, waterproof, flying avian.
1029394 Thank you for your reply, PC!
As for the inclusiveness bit, it wasn't meant to talk about purple prose; it was meant to talk about looking at how one single concept can reach out to a lot of other things. Take your duck example, for instance. I don't mean that I'd say it's "yellow, feathered, web-footed, waterproof, flying avian;" if the duck was the focus of the story, I'd say it's a bird that swims with other ducks in the lake, and humans react to it this way, and it reacts to other ducks this way, and it plays around with one particular duck/human this way and that.
I do agree that it is too much sometimes; I think I'll reword that to "focus" instead. Thank you for the feedback, and I do suggest at least checking out "Easy as Lying".
I figure if he "thinks too much," it compensates for those of us (like, um, me) who think too little.
I've read three of Thanqol's stories; I'll be more than happy to read the rest.
1029682 What stories have you read?
And, if you don't mind, what did you think of the blog overall?
1029712
I've read Do Not Serve These Ponies, The Old Stories and Easy As Lying. (Brief confession: Yours Truly has been sitting in Read Later entirely too long; it's my own fault for not following when I should have, and now I have no excuse,)
Aside from pushing my I Wish My Stuff Were Good Enough To Review button, this particular post does two things I'd like to see more reviewers adopt: a reference to purely syntactical behavior (the "grammar" paragraph), and a proper balance between the informative and the spoiler-y. (This latter was the highlight of your previous review of one of Martian's stories.) I figure, I'm already reading the Wanderer D roundups and the Vault inductions; I'd happily add your commentaries to those, since there's no way any individual can keep track of all the Good Stuff.
I only read the intro and your analysis of Yours Truly (since it is regrettably the only story of his that I have read), but it looks incredibly comprehensive.
I love the introduction. It's clean, it's clear, and it's concise. But it is a little long. If you include the blurb before the official start (which I assume to be Author in Focus: #14727 Thanqol) then the segment is longer than your analysis of The Zecorax and Do Not Serve. I don't know whether that's a large problem (or if it's even relevant) but it's something to watch out for.
As for the body, I have few complaints, though I'm hardly the most discerning reader.
However,
the above paragraph seems out of place to me. The paragraph begins right after you started referencing the story (even if you stated that you're not talking about it yet), so it appears like it dips into the analysis, then pulls out before starting again in the following paragraph. In my opinion it does a better job of introducing the story than your first paragraph, which I believe should be the primary objective.
But honestly, I'm pretty much just nitpicking, this is an awesome review, for the small part that I've read.
Unrelated: have you looked at Chris' analysis of "Yours Truly?" You may find something worth thinking about.
And the blog itself does provide some exemplary reviews for future reference.
1029902 With that paragraph, I was going for one of those this-is-only-somewhat-related introductions to it, and then slowly get into it. I can see what you're talking about, though. I also experimented with the introduction to this; that's why it's so long.
I hadn't read this review beforehand, but now that I have, yeah there are things to consider. I'm not familiar with a lot of pony memes, so I didn't pick up on that; I do agree with some of the criticisms, though.
But looking at Thanqol's comment for "Easy as Lying" . . . I don't think he'll like what I had to say about is all that much.
But thank you for the comment and the feedback, as well as the example review! I shall do my best to use it to better my reviews!
1029435
Well, I asked for that, considering my metaphor. I wasn't talking about purple prose, but rather exactly what you were--going too in depth on ANYthing when sometimes you just need a quick, simple thing instead. Not just in written description, but in applying meaning and symbolism to your work, or how concepts and ideas can spread to a variety of situations. Not that it's a bad thing; just that, like with anything, moderation in all things.
1030218 Ah, okay. My apologies. I shall do my best to be wary of that. Thank you very much for your advice!
Thank you for taking the time to write this. What is always the greatest goal in writing is to inspire an act of creative response in another.
What I found the most interesting was your analysis of the Old Stories. I'm glad that blog entry inspired such a re-think of your thoughts on it, because you've touched on the real heart of that story. The Old Stories isn't about the stories, it's about what the stories mean to the storytellers. It's about what we can learn about someone by the stories they tell, the changes and embellishments they make, the morals that they think hold true.
Noting dissonance with the morals was half the step. If you stopped there and said, 'there is dissonance, and dissonance is bad' then you'd have missed the point.
A few other points, miscellaneously sorted:
Grammar: A lot of my inspiration for playing around with grammar and structure comes from House of Leaves. It's an expensive book, but it's also a one-of-a-kind experience.
Rainbows: Some people just can't tolerate Old Style Bullshit. I know I can't. I am firmly of the opinion that 80% of so-called "Classics" are only classics because they existed in a time where there were no other books to compete with them. There were some abysmal writing habits in the 18th and 19th centuries. Particularly egregious was the habit of "And now that the story is done, I, the criminal, shall now tell everyone my tragic backstory. This may take more time than it took to catch me in the first place so get fucking comfortable."
I love the Sherlock Holmes books, straight up, and I don't enjoy reading anything more than first person narration. But I totally understand each person who doesn't.
Easy as Lying: I fucking hate this story.
That was the point.
All of my stories have emotional cores, feelings I was trying to convey to my readers. Easy as Lying was a story I wrote to channel rage, insecurity, and a twisted black loathing of everything. Writing it was awful and exhausting. When I put it up for review, my usual team said that it made them feel angry and/or tired and concluded the story sucked. Hence I didn't submit it to EQD until like six months later and drunk, and was kind of amazed when it sailed past the prereaders.
The point of Easy as Lying was to take a horrible concept for a story, a deeply unsettling and crooked premise, and execute it really well. There are a lot of thoughts and concepts in that story, and even some really beautiful writing, but it's all underscored by that inherent wrongness.
After people started to tell me they enjoyed it, I think I came to realise that it really is the thought that counts. A terrible story that's pulsing with dark truth and emotional energy has value. All emotions are worthwhile and worth seeking out, experiencing, and reflecting on. How boring would it be to be happy and satisfied all the time?
Thank you again for taking the time,
Sincerely,
- Thanqol
1030823 In that case, I'm very glad I waited so long before I published it!
Not to excuse m putting it off, and I apologize for doing so, but I suppose it worked out for the better.
As for the Easy as Lying bit... I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to pick up on the rage you're referring to.
I think I can see insecurities, but not rage.
Anywho, thank you for taking your time to comment on this, and I'm very glad that you appreciate it!
Hey, author analysis! This is something I wish I had time to do myself, but I'm glad to see someone trying their hand at it. I hope you do more of these--sometimes there's a lot to be gained by looking at someone's entire oeuvre, rather than treating their individual stories in isolation.
>I am striving to improve the way I review things, so if you have suggestions as to how I can improve, please feel free to say so.
Only one thing comes to mind: when reviewing an author's collected works, it'd be nice to see a bit more cross-story comparison, especially as relates to the time of writing. In Thanqol's case, there's a gap between the writing of A Study in Rainbows and Do Not Serve These Ponies of what, a year and a half? Two years? I'd like to see a little more about how the author's style has changed over that interval, especially past obvious stuff like "their editing got better."
Anyway, very interesting analysis you've done here. Have yourself a follow, you've earned it.
1031582 I had no idea that there was so long of a gap between those two stories! That is an interesting thing to consider for future reviews; thank you for the advice! I still have a lot to learn, and I thank you for taking the time to read this.
Also, *squee* a follow! twilight.ponychan.net/chan/collab/src/131580770102.gif That makes 50 now! Thank you so so so much! (I tend to get excited at times.
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