Feb
12th
2013
I am officially a terrible writer · 11:06am Feb 12th, 2013
It's true. I just found out. I lost the AppleDash contest. BADLY. So badly I didn't even get the bullshit juice box honorable mention prize. I'm not even worth honoring.
FML. Hard. I have to go buy some booze now, maybe invest in some punching bags.
Oh, and for the curious, yes this is genuinely upsetting. What else do I have but my writing? Let me have my self-loathing and rage. I have earned it with all the work I put into that piece of crap. It must be crap. I wasn't even mentioned.
Report
Gabriel LaVedier · 369 views
·
Don't be going all DH on me man. Let off some steam, then take a few breaths and calm down.
It sucks that they snubbed you, but it really wasn't your finest piece of work. It was still better than most, but they just really aren't your best voices. Now if you lost a TwiPie or a Luna contest, I'd be there with you wielding the requisite torch and pitchfork, but you were unlikely to win on Appledash.
All I can say now is that I am still your number one fan and will keep you honest, one way or another.
The greats are so rarely appreciated in their own time.
819903
Indeed
Shut up, I liked it, and I don't really like AJ or RD in the first place. You must be doing something right.
You do yourself - and me - a great disservice by choosing to judge yourself based on this silly contest.
You insult yourself, because imagining that one ridiculous situation can in any way represent a valid judgement of your talent makes you out to be foolish. You are not normally a fool, and your talent is exceptional. A stupid writing contest is no metric of talent.
You insult me, because I say you are a good writer capable of moments of genuine brilliance - and you would call me a liar because people devoid of taste or real judgement failed to notice you in one miserable fuss? For shame!
Cease insulting the both of us, and instead recognize that this contest was not worth your effort, rather than you being unworthy of it.
I will accept your apology in the form of you realizing that you are worthwhile, talented, and capable.
Don't judge yourself so hard. I honestly think you're a great writer. So what if those pricks didn't appreciate your work, don't be too hard on yourself.
And hey, maybe AppleDash stories aren't your thing (I didn't read the story mentioned, so I don't know). I know that I can't write AppleDash stories. I can only write stories for ships that I fully support.
All in all, pick yourself up, blow off some steam, and get writing again. Don't let this stop you, instead you this to better yourself.
Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. How on earth can you say such things?
I am close to one of your earlier followers. I hope it gives you some assurance to say that I still watch you, even after all this time, and that I am delighted by (and still delight in) your works; each of which by nature displays such prowess and potential with the written word that it makes me feel very small and very silly. I was reading myself to sleep on my iphone - I leapt from my bed at 12:30am to type a response to this. It took me 45 minutes. That's how strongly I feel about this. I even took the trouble of wondering how to be as serious as I could while not being too obsequious or overly sincere. (I failed. But not a word of this is a lie, I assure you).
You have a talent! Clearly this is the case. I've never even read anything of yours that I didn't like unreservedly, and I can't express just how big of an awful, horrific, petulant snob I am when it comes to your general subject matter. But you make this strange, cloppy topic exquisite to read for the sake of reading.
I mean it, I really do. I pedestal you as among my favourite authors. You were the one of the first writers I followed. You paint with words. You are, quite literally, the dog's bollocks. You speak of failing to qualify in an utterly arbitrary competition, but you have already won the hearts and minds of many on the basis of the sheer quality of your writing. Many writers must pander to audiences for such amounts of followers; but not you. You simply write, and then the results flow easily.
People have the audacity to call my work eloquent, and I laugh at them. Without exaggerating, I feel that my writing holds but a very small candle when compared to yours. You can do anything with anything for any abundant reason and have people praise it as 'good', so long as you hit the right subject, and that a good story is in itself as much idea as it is talent, creativity, and timing. A good idea is not neccessarily defunct because you did not shoot the moon with it (though I doubt you know this already).
All that said, I'm afraid I have to agree with 819981 mon ami, though perhaps without forcing you to apologize. I will not force a man to apologize for doubting himself, as we all do from time to time, and especially not now. Likewise, we are all victims of failing where we thought we would succeed.
Your mistake is the error of a perfectionist; of a man who holds himself to such a high standard that he can hardly bear the thought of anything but the best.
I hope to make you change your mind on the matter of whether Gabriel LeVerdier is what you might call a 'good writer'. You certainly cannot change mine.
Is it not possible that what you wrote was genuinely really really good but the other were just slightly better? I mean if you take an exam and get a 96 that doesn't mean you're stupid if a handful of other folks got 97s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZlLkOGxPus
Here's to that strage, wild man I found roaming the phonelines of the world
The one who made a compelling sympathetic rogue. The one who prssented a unique take on pony society and sociology. The one who inspired another writer to join him in world-building.
One piece of advice I found that applies to all fields of art. "You are your own worst critic."
D' ya think maybe the might not have received your entry?
As one of your earlier followers, let me say this. Buck up. It's just fanfic and you're really good at it. I've not read a single thing close to your style on this site. You have the best old school Luna out there. I require more of it, plus Long Eared Temptress.
We all write a flop story from time to time gab, don't beat yourself up over it. Merely look at it as a necessary step forward, for only once you have tasted failure, can you beat it. Okay all trying to sound wise and zen like aside, don't sweat it, really. Anyway who has ever written, has on at least one occasion, written a story that was poorly received. Chin up eh?
Would a bad writer have a 133 followers? Maybe you're not the best, but you're still good and you can be better.
You're not bad. I liked First Blush!
819901
How correct you are. You have been a good friend full of good sooth, as Luna might say. I just had that moment of self-doubt. I didn't even drink anyhting, on Mardi Gras no less! But that's because I don't have a car and it's too much hassle to get anywhere, even my favorite pub (And that's not favorite as in "I go there all the time to get smashed" it's favorite as in "It's a wonderful place to go once or twice a year for a pint of stout and a plate of Irish stew.") After a good bit of grumbling, some Sly Cooper 4 and a good night's sleep I felt a bit more like myself. Now that I see these responses, I feel better still.
819903>>819918
Thank you both.
819919
Heh heh. So strident. But a good dose of reality. Very bracing. I thank you.
819981
It takes the likes of you to show me the truth behind the appearances. I see, sometimes, only dark Equestria, molested foals, psychotic mares and a cheering throng of bloodthirsty monsters eager to lap it up with wagging tongues. And that often makes me very sad. Combine that with a stinging loss and, well, you see what becomes of such. I am very sorry. I am terribly sorry to have inslted you, dear Chat. And I am sorry I insulted myself by viewing myself though a lens made of the expectation of others who are not for me. I do not seek their company, so why should I covet their praise? Thank you, so much.
820036
Mmm, I fully support AppleDash. And Flarity, Twinkie and a lot of others. But I write some folks better than others. For example, I feel that I am very weak writing for Fluttershy, and that Rarity is a struggle. Dash comes off a bit broadly and AJ... well, I have her but the way I do the accent is not appreciated. Twilight and Pinkie are, oddly, easier. And of course, other characters flow very smoothly, like Luna, Lime or Fleur. Or Bad.
Thank you for the kind words.
820096
Your words are very kind and exactly what I needed. I had my doubts and concerns about my skill. And you gave me the assurances I needed.
Though I am very curious... what subject of mine is it that you do not enjoy? You say "cloppy" but the only cloppish things are the blatant ones, which are three in number. All the rest is romantic and tender, or modestly action-y and about sociopolitical situations.
It wasn't necessarily about "the best" but, oddly, about recognition. I wanted the Honorable Mention just to acknowlege the effort that I put in, whuich was far more than normal. I really jammed on that project. It was a pace that I have rarely been able to maintain. As well...
As I said to Chat, sometimes I covet the praise of those I would normally find creepy and disturbing simply because there are a lot of them, and they all flock to folks that would make a decent "False unsub lead" on Criminal Minds. These folk are becoming more and more common, as Equestria appears do descend into a cesspool of molested foals, murdered and raped innocents, psychotic serial killers, callous goddesses and dark mosters from other worlds. If that is the direction it is all going... tastes are moving away from me. And I want eyes. I need to be seen so that my skills, which you say I have, can be seen and appreciated. you see my quandry? If no one sees, no one can appreciate. But Chat was right, and you are as well. I should not seek to pander to the kind of folks I would normally deride and mock. Thank you for helping me see it.
820180
True enough. This is going to sound dorky but that's not something I have experienced much. For most of my undergrad career I was top of all my classes. Overachieving to bring up my GPA and make up for a former habit of slacking. I've been top of the mark for a while, so dropping is a bit of a sting
820188
Worst critic indeed. I was rather harsh. Thank you for your comment. I hope you will long continue to work as well.
820219
They did. It was on the list.
820318
Hehe. As you can see, there is more "Long Eared Temptress" and should be the last of it next week. I'm glad you like it. Much like with "Bad Girls" I wanted to give the likes of Blueblood, normally used as a joke or a villain, some love that made him not so bad.
820429
Chin up indeed. I have dulce de leche ice cream and had a delicious smoked sausage sandwich for lunch. Thanks for the kind words.
820895
Thank you. Heck, even I'm neutral on that one. So it means a lot.
827750 No problem! Hell, even I enjoy your comments on FSTDT.
827929
You're on FSTDT? Under what name?
827965 Him:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Fawful.jpg
(Fawful)
827687
I only mean that one part of your writing, not the whole thing. And I wouldn't give it too much creed, because I like your other work (that Long-eared Jenny really needs to lighten up) - I'm just torn when it comes to clop. Cognitive dissonance demands I say 'no', you see, but I won't pretend that reading clippety clop every now and again can be satisfying. In more ways than one. *AHEM*.
Pace lends things a certain weight in your mind. If something occupies a lot of your free time, and you work on it routinely, then you're going to attach a lot of importance to it as well. That's just a normal part of being human - we all want to think what we're doing is worth doing and will be good, and so when it doesn't live up to our expectations we get a little cross.
I think the answer is definitely a more puritan outlook, like what I have. For instance, I only get disappointed in the lack of my ability to to get what I know to be a good idea out of my head and onto the paper. I guess there's a certain arrogance there in assuming that most ideas that I have are good ones, but I find that the act of writing itself tends to weed the good ideas from the bad. I won't publish something unless I feel good about it.
Sometimes, time is required for our ideas to come to fruition. Simply sitting and thinking about an idea is sometimes required, which isn't something that you can get on a timed article. That's one of the great flaws within the Western education system - timed essays and timed exams places unnecessary duress on academics that would otherwise be totally fluid in expressing themselves and their opinions.
"Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what hold you back."
--Buddha
You might not need to MEDITATE to achieve enlightenment, or to step over a stumbling block, but if you were to just think about your ideas for a bit longer, then they'd be more satisfying for both you and your audience.
Again, another part of being human. Everybody loves praise and wants it from people, and there's nothing selfish or silly about saying so. I adore praise, people telling me that my work is great and that my stories are superb is everything I ever need.
But, of course, moderation is required. You can't simply have it like that all the time, and often times, the idea doesn't get a lot of praise, even though we want it.
I'm happy that you've come to this conclusion. But try not to think of your audience as plebeians, yes? There is nothing wrong with writing for an audience. There is everything wrong with being incapable of writing across a broad range of subjects. And besides, some of us like to think we are quite intelligent.
827687
Argh, I am so annoyed - I typed a thoughtful response to this post, and then firefox crashed. No matter.
MY LAST POST; TL;DR VERSION:
Don't mind me, I'm just a prude when it comes to enjoying clop. Cognitive dissonance demands I say no, even though I might enjoy it. For more than once reason, *ahem*.
1. Time limits are the devil. They place constrictions on what you want to do, and your task becomes less a matter of expressing yourself properly and instead 'doing your best within the time limit'. You need to adopt a more Puritan outlook on the matter, particularly that of 'take your time' in all things.
“Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back."
(Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)
Obviously you don't have to meditate, but simply leaving an idea in the back of your mind can be a good way of making it flourish. Mental meditation can be simply not thinking about it for a while, and letting ideas come to you. Inner peace, etc, etc.
1. There's nothing wrong with writing to an audience, or 'pandering' as it were. There's everything wrong with being incapable of writing on a broad range of topics well. You're welcome to do as you like.
2. There's nothing wrong with the need to feel appreciated, or to have something we've put time and effort into be recognised by others. That is an essential part of being a human in a society, we all look for praise. Try to simply accept that not every idea is a good one, even though we put a lot of effort into it.
3. Try not to be too hard on your audience. Too much of those sort of those sorts of thoughts only breeds a complacency that your work is flawless. It never is. And besides, some of us are pretty clever in our own right, too. Sometimes, appealing to a large audience is a good way to draw attention to work that exists already. I think that's just a part of being a writer - not everything that you think is a good thing will be as successful as you want it to be. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was always bitter that Sherlock Holmes got more attention then some of his other work.
829617
I wish to clarify one point (And thank you for all the helpful comments, they do give me much food for thought.)
When I talk about " I do not seek their company, so why should I covet their praise? " I mean, VERY specifically, the folks who are always making comments like "Rape Sweetie Belle More" or "Have Rarity murder more underage donkeys." Perhaps it is perception but there seem to be more of them than most other types. That is what I mean when I say I look down on some folks. They're just... making me uncomfortable.
828166
Awesome! I'll look for your comments and try to comment more.