22nd May. Random thoughts, writing, music and pony · 5:24am May 22nd
the piggy song, except its a pretentious fic
First you jiggle your tail like a gelatinous hulk of goo
Then your snout writhes! A small 'Oink,' emerges from your mass.
Your jerking rump takes over, forcing out more oinks.
Then you scream. "Oink oink oink!"
Daily Toavs
HOW ARE THERE NOT MORE SAILOR PONIES IN SAILOR OUTFITS
I AM VERY DISAPPOINT FANDOM!
Ocean Mist trots back onto the quiet landing.
She idly looks at a wall-cupboard. Even though she knew it couldn’t be in there, she opens the door anyway. She wrinkles her nose at the musty smell from a stack of used dusters.
Under these is a stepladder which she looks at curiously.
“Ah!” she exclaims, out loud, the sound echoing.
She looks directly up to the square wooden trapdoor entrance to the loft.
What's wrong here? Grammar is OK-ish. It's clear who's doing what....
The problem is repetition. She X, she Y, she Z. When I reread it my brain started sneezing. This is quite an annoying issue, because subject/verbs are such an obvious way to direct a characters actions. I'll have to be a little inventive.
Ocean Mist trots back onto the quiet landing.
She idly looks at a wall-cupboard. Despite knowing it couldn’t be in there, she opens the door anyway and wrinkles her nose at the musty smell from a stack of used dusters.
Under these is a stepladder which Ocean looks at curiously.
“Ah!” she exclaims, out loud, the sound echoing.
Directly above her is the square wooden trapdoor entrance to the loft.
Been hanging round sweet ponies for so long
you forget that some bronies still bring the fire >:3
knick-knacks & bric-a-brac
first is english and tricky
second is french and random
WARNING: SENSITIVE TOPIC
Dying defines us.
Snow isn’t snow until it falls
(Quote from Dr Who)
