DEEP-DIVE REVIEW! We Are the Everfree - Everfree's Trees are not like other trees, by Loganberry 'the Wordsmith' (>1K Word Deep-Dives and Author Recommendations #1) · 10:16pm April 30th
Welcome to my first deep-dive recommendation here on FimFic, where I drill into what makes 'We Are the Everfree' a great fic and go on to explain why Loganberry is an author who is so amazing that you should not just read that fic, but consider going on to read everything by him!
Today's author is a pony I first met on a UK pony forum a long time ago, and he is also a staple of the fandom with a review blog many of you will know, louderyay.
Loganberry / Author Q/A below
I will break down my review in the same way I write my own stories, as follows: Overview; Character; Place; Relationship; Pink theme; Senses; Emotional interest; Emotional conflict; Practical conflict; Writing; Meta. Other than for the overview, I will score each of these, before giving a final score. Not every amazing fic will get great scores for every aspect, because some fics are more/less reliant on each.
There will be SPOILERS!!!
So, without further ado, on to the review!
Overview
A mysterious group of beings have been trapped in the Everfree and they wish to be rid of that irony. Their hopes for freedom rest on a mysterious being: ‘The One Who Sings’.
This gem is a tiny 1K+ word, flavour-fic submitted for the Arboreal Yearning contest. Its tags are Sad, Tragedy, OC and Other.
Character 6/10
The OC is very softly put across, but on the re-read, the character in the title, the Everfree, reveals itself: a trunk-hollow face with toadstool ears and a creaking voice.
How can a forest be a character and not a feeling? By having a ‘nature’ to it, as opposed to just being part of nature. Tolkien’s forests have so much nature that they spring to life. Tolkien does this within a half million-word epic, while Loganberry has barely over 1K, so managing to convey even a little of the Everfree’s character is impressive.
If that’s a little abstract, then there is also character in the narrator who is a cluster of Everfree trees. That is, to an extent, an anti-character whose identity has been subsumed by, or joined with, the forest. This is something that Loganberry conveys very well with his use of the first person plural (‘tree-persons’). More on this ‘identity’ below.
Place (Lore) 8/10
This really is outstanding in all Logan’s work. As a fan of the show, you will always know where you are when reading him. References to cockatrices, swamp fevers, giggles, ghosties, long-nights etc abound, but never bog down the narrative. Also, while I tried poking holes such as how the ‘trees’ knew about certain events from the show, it all holds up if you think about it.
Relationship 3/10
A fic with no real characters cannot depict much in the way of a relationship. However, I still wanted to see a bit more relationship than I got here. Without straying into ‘reviewer becomes writer’ territory (hopefully), there were possibilities, even given the word-count. The relationship between the Everfree trees and the One Who Sings could have been fleshed out, for instance. A short scene of genuine connection between the ‘tree-beings’ and the One Who Sings could have been a spark of light to contrast with the wonderfully oppressive, leaf-shrouded, narrative.
Pink theme “I <3 it, but is it pony?” 7/10
A great feature of FiM was the way it weaved world-building detail and deeper meanings into kiddie tropes, creating stories that respected the intended audience so much that even ‘adults’ could enjoy them. Loganberry does this wonderfully by connecting the idea of singing to trees (a Tolkien staple) with the singing in the show, and then surprising us by lending a deeper meaning to ‘Giggle at the Ghosty’, of all things. He uses the silly, childish, song to invite us to consider the values of laughter and kindness. The gentle way he opens his pony world to us while sticking within the corners of the show-writing, is something for readers to enjoy, and writers to learn.
Senses 2/10
Giving this a low score feels a little mean, because the senses of our narrator have woodified, but, even so, the sight, smell and feel of a forest was missing. Only the brilliant, claustrophobic narrative, conveys what, somatically, you would experience if you were lost to the Everfree.
Emotional interest 7/10
Like most trees, these ones are contemplative and sober. But there is also a stale sadness which mingles with the leaf litter. The anxiety at the attempt to stir is palpable near the start.
Emotional conflict N/A
While there might have been conflict, the trees’ emotions play out with phototropic inevitability.
Practical conflict 5/10
The reader wants to know if the ‘trees’ will succeed in their scheme, because the desire for freedom is understandable. The attempt to realise the desire is clever and the failure hits hard. It is difficult to see how a short fic of this type could ever deliver a fully satisfying practical conflict, though.
Writing and best lines 8/10
Both on my initial skim, and subsequently, no one best line leapt out. Unusually, from a writing perspective, this fic might be one that works best as a skim-read. That is not to say that the writing is poor, though – Loganberry’s writing is virtually flawless. Rather, it is a comment on the writing tone. I felt as much from the way this was written as from the subjects being written about. As I said in my smol review, my narrative voice caught Jungle Fever and woodified while reading this.
The title is great! Alongside knowing the author, that title really hooked me. It is wordsmithery that carries multiple meanings, is a reference to an EQG line and rolls off the tongue. Once you have read that title, your mind will not let go.
As for the image, it’s the Everfree, and there’s a mysterious swampy tree-scene. That’s great – suitably ominous. There’s two immediate problems with it: 1) it is a dark image, and so I actually did not take it in on first glance; 2) it adds little to the title. It does make sense and makes me feel the swampy Everfree atmosphere, though, so it helps give it a bit of context.
In relation to the text, the long description plays to the strengths of the fic, to an extent, but the hook could be sharper. The reference to the trees ‘changing’ could be more urgent and specific eg being trapped in the Everfree, which would convey a sense of claustrophobia and escape, making the reader think. If the art is not going to be the main hook, then the long description has to be as punchy as humanly possible to compete.
To illustrate, there are loads of examples of the meta working together in the 'featured' tab. One has Starlight trying to be a Wonderbolt and disputing the need for wings. The title and image that goes with the fic punches that core practical issue directly into your brain, almost rendering the long-description irrelevant.
Of course, this stuff is all well and good, but maybe retaining a complex and mysterious tone is preferable. Views aren't everything, after all!
Score ‘Very good’ 6.5/10
This piece is short, flavourful fun. It is silly in places, clever in others, and evocative throughout. For a short piece, it is remarkably re-readable. I have read this six times now and I am still discovering new depths.
It is not without flaws, though; in particular, the lack of vividness of sense or emotion in the main ‘character’. This issue is likely to be due to the limits of a short competition-story which demanded woodenness. It may also be part of Loganberry's preference to use the magic of canon characters, rather than set forth his own? Even if the latter, this is no problem when those are his focus (Here / Here).
Loganberry comes across as kind and thoughtful in his approach to fiction, and he is a great user of words, lore and canon themes. If you are a new or experienced reader who fancies a break from an epic, then Loganberry is your unicorn. And if you are a new writer, or an old writer looking to improve, then his stories are a treasure trove, especially when it comes to narrative style, whether that is voiced directly, or comes through the words and conduct of his canon characters.
While I enjoyed the other fics I short-reviewed immensely, it was this fic that left me wondering. Also, this one was more of a challenge to write well. That’s not me looking for flaws – if I can recommend on a tricky fic like this, then I can strongly recommend the others.
Author Q/A
What message were you trying to portray, when writing ‘We Are The Everfree’?
I don't often do "message fiction", and that was the case here as well. I was mostly just hoping to write a story people would enjoy, but one with a slightly unusual twist. I also wanted to find a different angle on Equestria's magical nature, which is after all a big way in which it differs from Earth -- and given the (spoilery, sorry!) canon background to this fic the idea fitted the bill rather satisfyingly.
What do you think your favourite pony would make of your story?
Fluttershy would, I think, be both intrigued and disconcerted. She's closer to Nature than almost anypony else, after all. I wouldn't actually be surprised if some years after the events of my story, she perhaps had gained at least a nagging suspicion at the back of her mind about what was going on. She does, after all, live right next to the Everfree Forest -- even though, at least in early FiM, that was a genuinely scary place. Again, I have to stay slightly vague here to avoid giving away the story!
Did you have a plan for the story? If so, did you end up going beyond it as you wrote?
Given it was written for Mockingbirb's Arboreal Yearnings contest, the fic had to be about a pony wanting to be, trying to be, pretending to be, actually being, etc a tree. From the start I thought that trees in the Everfree might not see themselves as entirely separate from each other, and the challenge of writing a story in first-person plural while avoiding too much reader confusion appealed to me. It's not always the case for me, but this time around I knew where the fic was going from early on in the writing process.
Is there anyone you would like to thank? (Either for story-inspiration or more directly.)
Mockingbirb especially, for setting up a very interesting contest. My fellow contest entrants. Everyone who's read my stories over the years. Knighty and co for providing what is still the nicest fanfiction platform to use. The show itself for providing canon background I could use to springboard off. All of you taking the time to read this rambling!
Thanks for reading!
Now go check out Loganberry!
okay, wow :O I did not expect this sort of depth, you're really knocking it out of the park here!
5778818
glad you liked it
thanks!
Thank you very much!
I really wasn't expecting something so detailed and thoughtful, but I'm very glad that you put all that effort into doing that! Some very interesting points here, and some food for thought for me. This was a difficult fic to write -- after all, trees (or even Trees...) are limited in some ways compared with ponies, and tbh I'm not entirely sure the "woodenness" of emotion that you mention is a weakness in this very specific case. I think you're right that a little more sensuous description of the Everfree atmosphere could have given an extra boost, though.
One very minor, small correction: my blog is Louder Yay, not "thelouderyay".
Thank you again!
5778917
had a blast writing it, glad there was some food for thought in there!
thank you!
I know what you mean - write a great wooden character and then get scored on excessive woodenness
oh, and ups about the name. I kept on writing thelouderyay when looking for the blog too :P I have articles on the brain. Have tidied that up
5778926
Just about to post on my blog about this! Thank you once again, and I hope you're enjoying doing these reviews. I'll keep reading them!
One small point: I'd suggest making story links in reviews much more prominent. Here, for example, the "Story" link under the first picture is barely visible, and what looks like an embed further down is only an image.
5779234
yay! thanks :) I hope people like it
oh, and good point about the embed, thanks - I am starting to do this. I will edit that in, actually. Still new to FimFic and only discovered the embed feature by accident. I <3 this site to bits, but the embed feature has a camera on it, so I thought it was only for film site like yt
5779235
Yeah, the icons aren't always the clearest. But my experience in reviewing has been that the thing people want most of all (after the review itself, of course!) is a clear, one-click way to get to the story being reviewed. If readers have to search for it, they don't like it.
5779239
absolutely - I've edited it now, with embeds and a strong link at the start. Do you think that's enough? Or should there be another?
5779239
I added another at the end too, for good measure :P hopefully that's better now
5779241
Yeah, it's certainly not easily missed now! Thanks!