Wiggling Toes on a Furred Carpet | Afterward to 'Held Hostage' · 2:17am Feb 17th, 2023
Suffice to say I was disappointed when none equated the title of 'Held Hostage' to my current scenario.
The best titles are all-encompassing.
They're inherently interesting, explain the story, and evoke the story's theme/vibe. Even better are the titles that describe the context around it. It's not often one checks all the boxes—but it's a nice delight when it happens.
Especially when it happens by surprise.
Let's talk a bit about that.
It was in August 2022 that I finally 'retired' from this website; in some sense, that remains the case. My ideas had dried up, and my purple passion had been extinguished. The friends I've made, and the people I've met on this site have largely left to continue their lives. And this fandom boils down to porn, politics, and drivel.
Don't take this as a statement to say that sex is bad and that you should be reading more for enlightenment than pleasure. Not at all. Whatever you desire should be your pleasure. But the problem we're finding is that Fimfiction has become more of a Pornhub than it is for finding a vast range of stories. Even stories with sex in them suffer against sweaty-smut.
One alternative for 'normal' users is to turn off the mature tag. The stories that will be shown will mostly be actual stories. This isn't to say that porn stories aren't stories—that they can't be more than fap material. But, once again, we run into the issue of having two drastic functions of the website in contrast.
Porn stories don't have to be anything more than what they are. They don't have to be injected with further or greater qualities. And there is nothing wrong with enjoying them, either. But because they go side and side with all the other stories, they easily rank the box, views and comments, and make it harder to have a place where all kinds of content are as enjoyed.
Because this place has mainly become porn and watered-down stories, my interest in it as a reader has decreased. There are still gems. You can find them written or being written. There are still people doing decent to good work. However, if I'm to think of a story that's come onto the site in the last two years that has really blown my socks off—I am at a loss.
So I use this site sparingly. The stories worth reading—for me—aren't there.
Others still enjoy them, and that is fine. But I feel the overall 'bar' has been lowered. Some may consider me acting above such content or others—or I could do better. Rest assured, I cannot. I am not any better than the average person.
But what I feel is what I feel. And there isn't any harm in having and sharing such feelings.
So… tangent inside. Why am I talking about all this when my very first story back is poorly written, hazy clop? I left this site with a story that meant a lot to me—that's theme is significant. Now, I'm back with Celestia shoving and imprisoning a tiny griffon in her pussy.
Let me explain, officer.
I left this website because, if I didn't, I would be writing the same ol' stuff, over and over, until I was dead. Around me, other writers and artists were moving on to original works. NC went from MLP to his own host of giant anime girls, and barn animals turned nearly Zootopia-like. I wanted to go much the same way. Take the skills developed here and use to carve my own path.
However, as I did so, I ran into various issues, started and dropped multiple stories, and found that even though a lot of micro/macro porn stories can easily be done with human characters… I missed the fuzzy side of things. In short, I came upon the image that inspired Held Hostage. There was something about it that I loved—that made me want to make the artwork liveable in prose.
But I failed. And did so for multiple reasons.
First, I realized the vibe wasn't the same as a normal human. It entered the weird territory of 'mommy' shit real fucking quick. The look and aesthetic wouldn't fit. Some pony ideas are easily transferable to human/original fiction. However, I learned some ideas/vibes could only work with pony.
So. I followed my instinct, and wrote the idea as it demanded to be written.
Except, I didn't. I tried writing the idea 'well.' This means none of my usual bullshit, and trying to write like how a 'proper' writer would write it. You have to try something different to acquire something new. This lesson is true, and I have gained a lot. However, the writing wasn't pleasurable, becoming a task.
I wrote the story regardless, in a stuttered, frame by frame way, and I did not enjoy the process, and was left with a power point of a story. Some elements worked. Most of it did not. If I could do it again, I would write naturally, doing as I liked, and then revising until it was right. Self-consciousness is no way to paint.
I wish I also took more time with the story. I've tried outlining, and it's worked to a degree. If you outline too much, I've found that you are converting beats to prose. This isn't fun. It's hard, tedious work that barely comes out as coherent anyway. Even if it leads to improvement—damn it.
But I also found I could have played with the idea more. Instead of keeping it strict to what happens in the photo, I could have created my own world with it, having Celestia fuck more with the griffon inside the baster.
She could have kissed and licked it more. Even NSFW, with more NSFW on top. She could have dragged it down her coat, teasing him, watching the white sea of fluffy divide beneath him. Then Celestia would Not Safe for Work, and then EVEN MORE NOT SAFE FOR WORK.
These ideas came after the story. I asked myself: "How could I have done that story better?"
My mind gave me the answers.
Then, I asked: "Why the fuck didn't you let me know during the story."
My mind shrugged.
You didn't ask. Didn't allow the kind of flow state that allows such happenings to come cleanly through.
So it's helpful to write a wish list or a brief story outline. Write about what happens, think about it, then jot down whatever details emerge. When it comes to writing, ditch the outline, keeping it in mind. Resort to it only when you must.
So.
Why a weird, fetish story instead of a proper, thematic narrative explaining why one has returned to this place?
One, I don't feel like anyone would give a shit. Two… because I didn't want to.
I wanted to retire because I wanted to do different things that could lead to something more. I also wanted to say goodbye if I am robbed of that chance. Furthermore, I desired that last story to encapsulate what I wanted my last story to be.
But. I'm a bizarre person. I also wanted to write about Celestia and a tiny griffon.
And there you have it.
I won't say I'm unretired or coming back with a vengeance. Truth be told, I don't have my usual romance or slice-of-life stories to write here. All I have is mindless smut that just doesn't work in other contexts. And the only place it'll fit is here.
I've learned that if an idea arises, write it, and once it's done, revise it; once that's done, post it where it belongs. If I have a pony idea, write it and post it here. If you have another idea that's not pony, write it and post it in a place that's not pony, and go on.
It's not the most enlightened of revelations. And I am not the best person to be reading for quality stories or blogs. I'm just me. Or whatever 'me' I'm feeling at the moment. I cannot be like other writers or other people. I cannot live by a certain example and preach it. I can only do as I can to the best of my ability. It is your call to read on, or stop. To decide whatever it is I am to you.
But that's it.
I hope everyone is well.
[Also. I took down the story and pretended it was a community fever dream to piss off Shakes. I waited for his usual gloating 'retired, unretired' comments, and then removed the story, pretending the old man had finally lost his mind.
God bless.]
~ Yr. Pal, B
Huh. Interesting to know.
It was a nice story. Sad you feel held hostage
I didn’t even know that was you that posted it.
Be like Gary Larson
I've had similar feelings in the past. To me, there's never a right way to end something. The human mind has a thing for attachments. There will always be some lingering regret if you look long enough. Writing isn't the pinnacle of being human. It's just a bag of language tricks and tools. It's less real than reality itself, and reality is itself and unreal illusion.
BUUUUT I love reading your weird shit and hope you continue to plow along in some capacity or another. Hell, your blogs are just as entertaining as your stories!
5714083
Uh-oh.
5714129
You crazy.
Love you.
It's okay to want to be one of the big fish in the small pond. It's a nice pond.