A Drill Sergeant's thoughts on today's episode · 8:39pm Dec 15th, 2012

So, today we had a boot camp-esque episode. Naturally, everypony and their mother wanst to know what I thought of it. Well, brace yourselves, because...

I really, really liked it! Seriously, it had some great characterization for Dash. Did you SEE'D it?! She quit the Wonderbolts! For principle! The Rainbow Dash of season one, even two, would not have done that. See, this is why I praise the show so highly. I loike it for many reasons, but actually, measurable character growth in a kids cartoon? Spledid!

But more than that, it was just awesome. Snowflake made his appearence, even though I was hoping he'd get some actual dialogue beyond, "YEAH!" Thunderlane was there, along with... um, was it Flitter or Cloudchaser? Not sure. Anywho, Lightning Dust confirmed for worst pony, animation was great, Pinkie was hilarious. For real, this season just keeps getting better and better.

Oh, yeah, what you came here for. My reactions to how the ponies talked/treated Spitfire:

WHAT IN THE HOLY MOTHER OF DOG FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU MALFORMED COAT HANGER DODGERS?!

PRIVATE DASH, IF YOU DON'T STOP MOVING AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION, SO HELP ME BALD BABY JESUS YOU'LL BE IN THE FRONT LEANING REST SO LONG YOU'LL EARN THAT REPUTATION AS A RUG MUNCHER! WHAT'S YOUR MOMMA'S PHONE NUMBER? I WANT TO CAL HER AND TELL HER SHE SHOULD'VE SWALLOWED!

PRIVATE SNOWFLAKE! WHY YOU SO BIG? YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? YOU WANNA JUMP OFF? TRY IT! SO HELP ME LUNA, I'LL KNUCKLE-FUCK YOUR DIRTY SHAFT-SUCKER SO FAST YOU'LL BE SHITTING OUT MY FIST BABIES BY THE END OF CYCLE!

PRIVATE THUNDERLANE, WHY IN THE SWEET NAME OF PONY SHIT ARE YOU FEELING UP RARITY?! GET YOUR FILTHY STALLION-PLEASERS OFF OF HER BEFORE I INTRODUCE YOU TO THE FLOOR IN A VERY PERSONAL WAY! SWEET CADANCE YOU'RE ABOUT AS USELESS AS YOUR MOMMA IN A WORLD WITHOUT DICKS!

...Private Dust. Oh, my, Private Dust. I want to know, honestly, tell me because I'm confused like a retard in a school house. What, exactly, in the wide, wide, sweet world of FUCK MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN MOUTH OFF TO AN OFFICER LIKE THAT?! DO YOU WANNA DIE, PRIVATE? WHY DON'T YOU DO THE WORLD A FAVOR AND GO PRACTICE HOW TO SUCK START AN M-16! YOU THINK YOU'RE HOT SHIT? WELL, GUESS WHAT, YOU ARE HOT SHIT! HOT, STEAMY, WET SHIT HANGING' OUT OF A BUFFALO'S AS AFTER TOO MANY APPLE PIES! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?! DON'T LOOK AT ME! YOU'RE AT THE POSITION OF ATTENTION! HEAD AND EYES STRAIGHT FORWARD, YOU POSTER CHILD FOR BACK-ALLEY ABORTIONS! YOU BETTER STOP EYEBALL FUCKING ME, PRIVATE, OR SO HELP ME DISCORD, I'LL SKULL DRAG YOU UNTIL NOT EVEN A NECROPHILIAC WOULD TOUCH YOU WITH A TEN-FOOT DONKEY DICK!

...Or, you know, something like that?

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Miki

Miki #1 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · ·

I approve. Oh dear jesus I so greatly approve of this post.

Mayojar77

Mayojar77 #2 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · ·

that last one was kind of a clusterfuq.

Seether00

Seether00 #3 · Dec 15th, 2012 · 1 · ·

Honestly, Spitfire didn't make any sense to me here.

Lightning Dust, did what Spitfire told her to do. 'Hey, you set a new record that is good.'
'I liked your interesting tornado idea.'

Then Dash quits and Spitfire does a 180 and kicks Dust out. How is that fair? Spitfire okayed everything Dust did up to that point!

She could have given a warning or something.

Piquo Pie

Piquo Pie #4 · Dec 15th, 2012 · · ·

Meep...

Oh wait never mind you don't know where I live

EDIT: Also I think this was more like a camp for civilians. You know like the ones private security host for people who pay way to much because they want to feel like a soldier while getting pampered; except in this case it is more like a audition at the same time. If it was real then it would have been longer than a week and the "drill master" would not be signing autographs while meeting with a trainee.

Jake The Army Guy