Friendship is Card Games: Tell Your Tale, Pt. 9 · 12:56pm Dec 18th, 2022
Back to Tell Your Tale this week, and the seasonal/holiday continues off and on. Let’s start catching up to the current point on the calendar.
Bit of a disconnect between the short’s name in the video title and the credits. Not the only time this will happen in this batch, actually. I’ll stick to the latter for archival purposes.
Ooh, I do like the fancy outfits on everypony. Especially how Zipp has a tux. (Well, the top 10% of a tux, but going by Hitch, that’s just how suits work going by the current fashion trends.) I wonder what the occasion is.
Also, I’m not entirely sure why Jazz has to crittersit. This is clearly going for the “rambunctious kids and beleaguered babysitter” trope, which is a very odd fit for G5. It also seems to imply the main cast is a five-pony polycule of uncertain layout, and I don’t the writers had that in mind.
I do appreciate the critters having to get that one bunnycorn to join in the group puppy-dog eyes.
“Just don’t let McSnipsalot get a hold of anything sharp.”
The crab has already demonstrated that he has nigh-vorpal pincers, Hitch. He always has something sharp.
Okay, given all of the things in the Brighthouse that need to be kept safe from the critters, maybe just… don’t let them inside without multiple experienced supervisors? They’re semi-wild animals. It’s not like they’re going to suffer outdoors. (Mind you, this could be how animals became so dependent on ponies during G4.)
Jazz had better be getting paid extra for this.
A crawling snail has no right being that unsettling.
“It’s bedtime,” Jazz says to normally nocturnal raccoons.
Dare I ask how McSnipsalot got to that cake, much less served himself a slice?
Ah. Good to know Jazz is similarly confused.
Wait, aren’t those jars in the bedroom full of Sunny’s alicorn magic residue? This could go very badly indeed.
The rampaging pets work—and raise the usual uncomfortable questions about the relative intelligence of nonpony animals—but offering them a bedtime story and it working feels off.
I do like how Pipp seems to have multiple Zipp figurines in her closet. She happily supports her sister’s merchandise.
… Wait, so Sunny’s locket can initiate contact with Opaline? I feel like she’d want to make that one receive calls only. I know it’s for a gag, but a gag that short-circuits the entire “there’s no easy way for the main cast to get information on the villain” thing is terribly ill-conceived.
(Alternatively, the critters managed to jailbreak the locket by accident, which I’m actually fine with.)
Ooh, Rainbow Dash plushie. Can’t recall if we’ve seen it before, but definitely feels like a gift from Sunny to Pipp.
The only reason Jazz hasn’t crushed any skulls at this point is because of the target audience.
… And seconds after I saw that, we have rabbit poop. Brightly colored rainbow rabbit poop, but rabbit poop. 
“I’m not a petsitter! I’m a stylist!”
Again, “Damn it, Pipp” omitted given the target audience.
Neat to see a recreation of the Friendship Journal. Makes me wonder what mutations that’s undergone in the intervening years.
The makeovers don’t feel like they should work any better than the bedtime story. And I see no reason why that one rabbit won’t ruin everything again. (Definitely Angel’s descendant, that one.)
As is sadly the norm for this generation, the song is meh at best and mildly irritating at worst.
“High fashion” apparently means “Cirque du Soleil” at this point in the trend cycle.
So… the main cast knew they were throwing Jazz to the proverbial wolves, going by their talk of how unmanageable the critters are at bedtime. Real nice, guys.
Ah. Yeah, Jazz definitely should have done some cleanup work upstairs rather than casually reading that magazine. It’s one thing to learn from your mistakes. It’s quite another to do nothing to fix them. On the other hand, again, a little petty revenge is more than justified.
Well! That’s certainly one way to open a short. Notable that Sparky can apparently keep up with two earth ponies at full gallop.
I do appreciate how the rampaging pumpkins range wide enough that running perpendicular to them doesn’t look like a viable way to avoid them.
Yeah, I can’t imagine the Zephyr Heights natives have any clue of what to do with an abundance of gourds. And I’m not surprised Zipp looks down on Pipp for not even trying to think of something before foisting the question onto her followers. You have a brain, filly. Use it for something other than social media posts. Or stalling for time.
I do appreciate the musical nod to Jeopardy!
Ah, the classics. Though Sparky would make for a bizarre fairy godmother.
“What? I don’t make the laws.”
Other than that time when Hitch made a law. And nearly destroyed Maretime Bay in the process. (And who does make the laws, then?) Also, I have to wonder why there’s a law in the books forbidding produce-based vehicles. There’s definitely some reason behind it.
I really wasn’t sure what to make of a short with a title like “Filly Filling,” but I think I see where they’re going with this.
Neat to see that Hitch is getting Sparky to breathe fire on cue. Definitely better than spontaneous
It’s a good thing that pumpkin stayed mostly hollow with Pipp inside. Heck, it’s a good thing Pipp wasn’t incorporated into the fibrous inner structures of the pumpkin. Transmutation is not a toy.
Still, she should be able to just shoot a text to somepony…
Oh. Okay, Zipp’s teasing is a better reason to avoid taking the simple solution than, say, the pumpkin inexplicably acting like a Faraday cage. But at the same time, sending something to Zipp is also a viable option. Or to Hitch. He’s the one responsible for this mess. And any further mess Pipp may make as he rolls her like a Katamari.
Botty McBakertins demonstrates Izzy’s terrifying ability to craft, if not artificial life, then at least sophisticated automata from cardboard and random detritus. I, for one, welcome the unicorn mad scientist. We haven’t had a good one since Sci-Twi.
I do appreciate how the finalists in the pie-eating contest are both earth ponies, both culturally and anatomically. I also appreciate the cartoonishly immense pies for sheer absurdity.
So… Pipp survived the entire baking process unscathed? We’re just going to gloss over that? Again, consider the target audience, but I’m very concerned about how these pies were made if the pumpkins weren’t ever actually cut open.
Also, has anypony noticed her going missing?
I do have to wonder how Hitch settled on the walking pie also being undead, but hey, I won’t turn down an excuse to make more Zombie cards.
Even during the zompie rampage, Rufus is still trying to win the contest. I don’t know whether I should meet that kind of focus and tenacity with admiration or concern.
Mind you, that background gag is incompatible with the “running on the conveyor belt” joke five seconds later.
Also, what exactly does Hitch think an undead pie will do to ponies? And shouldn’t he be, you know. protecting them? Really wondering about his thought process here, though that may be best summarized as “PANIC!” Especially when the pie knows his name.
Hmm. Upon further reflection, the pie’s nature as a weapon in Old Equestria may be behind this panic. Imagine if an artillery shell came to life and decided it didn’t like you specifically.
Thank goodness for that signature hooficure. I assume the crust was muffling her voice beyond recognition.
Not sure if a moral of “Struggle until you muddle through unassisted” is the best message to send.
There’s no reason why Maretime Bay can’t have more pie-eating contests. Just make check the pumpkins for any inhabitants first.
Ooh, a rare non-furious Posey.
Pineta has a great blog here analyzing all the artistic references in this short.
Even so, I have several questions about the Nyan Beans…
I’m kind of amazed Posey doesn’t see what’s coming given what she’s saying and to whom she’s saying it. Mind you, Izzy already had a philosophy of “Art can be anything,” so anywhere isn’t the biggest leap for her.
Galloping on the ceiling. The Pinkie is strong with this one.
As with the legislative confusion of, get permission from whom? Kids can handle the concept of government officials, guys. Let Maretime Bay have a mayor.
I was assured that Izzy is medium sneaky at best. I suppose the extra “s” makes the difference. 
Okay, this was harmless-to-heartwarming up until Izzy bent a lamppost with zero apparent effort. 
I have to wonder if the power of ignorance applies here. She doesn’t know what’s impossible with magic, and thus she can do anything.
Also, kind of funny to think about how in one G5 video game, Izzy getting blamed for vandalism is a major plot point.
This song does work better than most in this generation, though rap sections are always a hard sell for me.
Oh, Pipp. The Canternet is a hell of a drug.
Once again, ZBS apparently has nothing better to do than cover equine interest stories in a neighboring city. Still, I suppose somepony has to air Plot Convenience News. 
Oh, that’s why ZBS is covering this. Haven is following the British attitude of “That’s lovely art, but it would look better with us.” If they had more than five minutes to explore this concept, this could lead to a massive diplomatic incident. (Also, if earth ponies had any defined authority figures other than Hitch and Sunny.) Zephyr Heights-issued royal decrees should hold water in Maretime Bay unless Haven annexed the rest of Equestria without telling anypony.
… Honestly, that wouldn’t surprise me.
It’s always concerning when Señor Butterscotch is the sensible one.
Pipp pleading to Sneaksy—not even posting it on any sites, just shouting it out—is the closest thing to prayer we’ve seen in this generation since Sunny talking to Argyle postmortem.
And thus Izzy learns that a signature style and anonymity do not mix well… though plot expediency might spare you anyway. It’s only fair; if ponies can’t put together Misty’s suspicious activity, why would they intuit anypony else’s deep secrets?
Interesting how Pipp’s phone wallpaper seems based on Cadence’s cutie mark. One could read quite a bit into that, in several ways depending on whether the symbol is significant to the royal family or Pipp in particular.
But seriously, is Haven even going to apologize for appropriating a chunk of the police station?
The other example of title disagreement. Not a good look, that.
Ah, Haven’s actually going to be in this short. I doubt the mural issue will be addressed, but I can hope.
Thinking about it, Old Equestria never really had a Thanksgiving analogue. I’ve seen some in fan works like Estee’s Homecoming, but the closest thing canon had was cider season at Sweet Apple Acres. I wonder how Harvest & Hugs Day came about. Going by the name, Hearts & Hooves Day might well be involved, but that’s in an entirely different part of the calendar. Still an interesting question to consider.
Ooh, I do love the floral tea set. One of Izzy’s more elegant creations.
On the other hand, I’m a bit concerned about what seem to be hairs in that carrot cake…
Even now, in the far future of Equestria, banjos are still associated with the harvest.
Going by how stressed she is, I do have to wonder what Pipp thinks will happen if Haven isn’t happy with her welcome at the Brighthouse.
Ah. Always nice to see the characters echo my questions.
I see carrot cake is the turkey equivalent for this holiday. (You’d think it would be pumpkin pie, but I suppose they already did something with that.)
Sparky: The cause of and/or solution to all life’s problems. Though it honestly kind of nice to see his fire just burn things for once.
Good on Izzy for quitting while she was behind. One more “At least X” and I’m pretty sure the Brighthouse would’ve collapsed.
Really wasn’t expecting Pipp to ever channel Twilight to this degree. Complete with hyperventilating into a paper bag!
Given her love for the holiday and… well, everything about her, I’d have expected Haven to arrive with more than enough decorations and cake to make up the difference.
Honestly, “Is this going on Cliptrot?” is a question one can always ask Pipp.
I wonder whether Alphabittle ever taught Izzy anything about brewing tea.
Huh. Unicorn eating pine cones. I wonder where Trixie may lie on Izzy’s family tree…
“How are we going to bake a cake without an oven!?” Sunny says ten feet from the queen.
Also, I can understand panic causing tunnel vision, but I still feel like somepony could’ve noticed the busted oven before now.
I always wanted an Easy-Bake Oven… though I don’t think that light bulb will be able to handle a full-sized cake quickly or evenly. I figured the plan was just to have Sparky breathe on things until they got a carrot cake.
Sparky’s scream sounds like something out of a Tom & Jerry cartoon. And I’ll be honest, it’s kind of nice to see him get karmic payback for causally wreaking havoc.
Ooh, rare shot of a young Haven and a much larger royal family than I thought. There’s definite fodder here, especially since Haven doesn’t appear to be the oldest sibling.
Izzy, that wasn’t a request.
Something tells me that desperate scavenging and being grateful for the company more than the meal is a lot more true to the spirit of Harvest & Hugs Day.
Huh. They still managed to get a pie together. I dare not ask what’s in it. Also sincere pine cone eating.
I honestly wish Sparky had launched another fireball that turned every dish on the table into a carrot cake.
In all, some fun shenanigans, with long-reaching implications both intriguing and bizarre. The shorts continue to tell me more about this world than Make Your Mark, though not always what the writers may have intended.
Now, let’s see what I can do with those messages:
Prison Pumpkin 1W
Artifact — Food
When Prison Pumpkin enters the battlefield, exile target creature until Prison Pumpkin leaves the battlefield.
6: Prison Pumpkin’s controller sacrifices it and gains 8 life. Only the exiled card’s owner may activate this ability and only as a sorcery.
To the Nines 1W
Instant
Creatures you control get +1/+1 until end of turn. Modified creatures you control gain indestructible until end of turn. (Equipment, Auras you control, and counters are modifications.)
“I may go, but fashion is eternal.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity, last words
Infraction Tallier 3W
Creature — Pony Soldier
Flash
When Infraction Tallier enters the battlefield, detain up to X target creatures your opponents control, where X is the number of spells cast this turn. (Until your next turn, those creatures can’t attack or block and their activated abilities can’t be activated.)
2/3
Lay Low U
Instant
Casualty 1 (As you cast this spell, you may sacrifice a creature with power 1 or greater. When you do, copy this spell. You may choose new targets for the copy.)
Target creature phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don’t exist until its controller’s next turn.)
Glittertrail Snail 2U
Creature — Slug
Glittertrail Snail doesn’t untap during your untap step unless you remove two counters from among permanents you control.
Glittertrail Snail can’t be blocked.
Whenever Glittertrail Snail deals combat damage to a player, proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
2/5
Desperate Deception 3U
Instant
Exile any number of target nontoken creatures you control in a face-down pile, shuffle that pile, then manifest those cards. (To manifest a card, put it onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)
A flimsy pretense may be the only one left.
Royal Claim 5UU
Enchantment — Aura
This spell costs 3 less to cast if you’re the monarch.
Enchant permanent
You control enchanted permanent.
The crown’s authority is leverage strong enough to move the world.
Magus of the Oven B
Creature — Pegasus Wizard
Flying
T, Sacrifice a creature: Create a Food token. If the sacrificed creature’s toughness was 4 or greater, create two Food tokens instead. (They’re artifacts with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
“… and that’s why cats hate me.”
1/1
Faltering Optimism 1B
Instant
This turn, players can’t gain life and cards can’t leave graveyards.
Draw a card.
“A smile can do a lot, but it won’t solve all your problems.”
—Izzy Moonbow
Undercity Cuisine 3B
Sorcery
Undergrowth — Each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is the number of creature cards in your graveyard.
“Rarity calls it ‘an acquired taste.’ Pretty sure that means she won’t go near it.”
—Applejack, rot farmer
Canternet Addict RR
Creature — Pegasus Berserker
Trample, haste
Cumulative upkeep — Sacrifice an artifact. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it.)
No data plan survives contact.
4/3
Artistic Vandal 1R
Creature — Unicorn Rogue
Revolt — When Artistic Vandal enters the battlefield, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, create a Treasure token. (It’s an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
Making Maretime Bay more interesting, one twisted streetlight at a time.
2/1
Creative Frenzy 2R
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice X artifacts.
Exile the top X cards of your library. Until the end of your next turn, you may play those cards. Artifact spells you cast this way cost 2 less to cast.
Izzy’s process is more of a fugue state.
Herald of Flame 2RR
Creature — Dragon
Flash
When Herald of Flame enters the battlefield, choose one —
• All creatures get +2/+0 until end of turn.
• Herald of Flame deals 2 damage to each other creature.
Every note a torch song.
2/2
Scion of Angel 1G
Creature — Rabbit Unicorn
2: Target creature gains shroud until end of turn. This ability costs U more to activate if it targets a creature you don’t control. (A creature with shroud can’t be the target of spells or abilities.)
His legacy of bothersome assistance lives on.
2/2
Brighthouse Baker 2G
Creature — Unicorn Citizen
Whenever you cast a multicolored spell, create a Food token.
T, Sacrifice a Food: Add two mana of different colors.
Proximity to the Prisbeam imbues everything with a little extra magic.
1/3
Ferocious Feast 4GG
Sorcery
Affinity for Foods (This spell costs 1 less for each Food you control.)
Creatures you control gain trample until end of turn. Whenever you gain life this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
Hungry earth ponies are best avoided.
Idol of Loyalty 3
Artifact
T: Add one mana of any color.
Converge — 5: Until end of turn, Idol of Loyalty becomes an X/X artifact creature with flying and first strike that’s all colors, where X is the number of colors of mana spent to activate this ability.
A memory of excellence sealed in felt.
Street Art Gear 3
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has menace.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create two Treasure tokens unless that player sacrifices an artifact.
Equip 1
Thick-Crust Transmogrant 8
Artifact Creature — Food Zombie
Prototype 4B — 2/5 (You may cast this spell with different mana cost, color, and size. It keeps its abilities and types.)
When Thick-Crust Transmogrant enters the battlefield or dies, each opponent loses X life and you gain X life, where X is Thick-Crust Transmogrant’s power.
4/7
Ignorant Adept U(ur)R
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
You may look at the top card of your library any time.
Hellbent — As long as you have no cards in your hand, you may play lands and cast spells from the top of your library.
New disciplines are open to unicorns who don’t know they’re impossible.
2/3
Glamorized Raccoonicorns 2RW
Creature — Raccoon Unicorn
Vigilance
When Glamorized Raccoonicorns dies, create X 1/1 red Raccoon creature tokens with menace, where X is one plus the number of permanents attached to Glamorized Raccoonicorns.
The nicer the trenchcoat, the more want in.
3/3
Omnipresent Art 3GW
Enchantment
All permanents are enchantments in addition to their other types.
Whenever you cast an enchantment spell, draw a card.
Izzy wanted to share her perspective with the world. For good and for ill, she succeeded.
Gourdslide XRG
Sorcery
Gourdslide deals X damage to each creature. For each creature dealt excess damage this way, create a Food token.
Hitch did not appreciate later learning that pumpkins are technically berries.
I feel like the banning of production based vehicles is a result of some memory of Flim and Flam partially remaining in the civilization, maybe they tried the super speedy cider squeeze 3000 again and it went even worse then the first time.
I love that this is a meaningful question in G5
>It also seems to imply the main cast is a five-pony polycule of uncertain layout, and I don’t the writers had that in mind.
Why not beat the shippers to it?
Also, odd rules question with Ferocious Feast that I don't think I've considered before. If a creature has lifelink (because why wouldn't you) and trample, and it tramples something, is that one or two damage packets? Does it happen "slowly" enough for the second pass to get a counter and deal 1 more? I'm guessing no, but i actually don't know off the top of my head. Obviously pairs incredibly with True Conviction (but what doesn't).
Favorites are Faltering Optimism (though not sure it helps with bojuka bog), Prison Pumpkin (though I feel like food should still be built around the self sac), and Creative Frenzy (Don't think it'd go too crazy, but probably some shenanigan. Could even see an instant version).
And Izzy once again proves to be my favorite character in G5.
Worth repeating, Cadance is the only confirmed ascended pegasus.
He's transfiguring flammable things into ashes.
Inside Baseball Alert (with a side of Stupid Complicated Game): Magus of the Oven's flavor text is based on a combo that uses the original card to repeatedly feed a cat its own corpse. Some combos are really f
ed up when you think about the flavor.
Inside Baseball Alert: Applejack, "rot farmer" is the character's iteration in The Implicit Neighs, where the ponies we know and love are native to Ravnica instead of Ungula. Since the Ravnican farmer's guild is also the necromancer's guild, she's considerably more interesting than her canon counterpart.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Omnipresent Art's first effect only applies to permanents on the battlefield. The stack is unaffected, so you need to have "real" enchantments to benefit from its draw. Honestly kind of turns the first effect into trinket text (something that isn't technically flavor text but also has no real effect on the power level of the card).
I'm more concerned about how he was able to walk up a flat, vertical wall. Crabs... normally can't do that, right?
That incident in "One Bad Apple" wasn't the most disastrous Summer Harvest Parade on record...
Yes, just as we're going to ignore how she didn't run out of oxygen while trapped inside a fully intact pumpkin.
Presumably her
thousands ofdozens ofthree followers, but they're not in this episode.Probably the same sort of area than literally every unicorn and many non-unicorns in the FIM period do - Greatn Aunts/Uncles at least and Greatn-1 Grandparents more likely. Remember that the further back you go, the more people you're "directly descended" from due to the nature of familty trees. And while the whole tribal schism may have messed with that somewhat, any given pony's place at that level of said tree is as probable as it is insignificant. I know I'm over-analyzing a bit, but it's still something to keep in mind. Especially since I would not put it past this series to pull some "direct descendant" silliness on us.
So he can get bitten and turn into a zompie himself?