Friendship is Card Games: Hoof Done It? · 12:46pm Nov 13th, 2022
We come to the penultimate episode, though Winter Wishday is perfectly timed for two weeks from now. Awfully considerate of Netflix. Now, let’s see just what mystery is ahoof.
Hmm. On the one hand, I can appreciate a good en medias res opening. On the other hand, emphasis on “good.” When one of the main sources of tension in the previous episode is Misty’s struggles to track down the lantern, her already having pilfered it offscreen makes for a dissatisfying development. (On Ahuizotl’s tail, given how it was lying out in the open, her grabbing it is entirely believable, but it still would’ve been nice to see her exfiltration, especially with Zipp awake and hearing the report to Opaline.)
… Ah, we’ve somehow gone from sleeping bags on the floor to everypony in their beds. Entirely possible that it’s not the same night, but now the story’s being needlessly confusing. Especially for people who binge watched this and saw the previous episode a few minutes ago.
Hmm. Where’s Izzy? Also, the fact that Zipp doesn’t notice the missing lantern when the tree shadow standee is still there definitely suggests this isn’t the same night as the sleepover. Either Izzy didn’t have the lantern there or Zipp’s brain hasn’t registered the change, which would be hard to justify the night they set it up.
“Morning, investigation board. Morning, rad visor.”
I do still love how Izzy made that thing to perfectly match Zipp’s aesthetic. She can create things that don’t look like cobbled-together garbage. She just chooses not to.
Yup, the lantern was in its usual spot. Definitely a different night… which only makes the misleading direction more frustrating.
Ah, we’re calling it “the Hope Lantern” now. That does work. It is interesting how personally Zipp is taking this. I suppose her pride as a detective is on the line… which would certainly explain why she hasn’t called in Hitch for backup.
I have several questions about the hula doll and the implications thereof. It may explain where Sunny’s getting her more tropical produce…
I do like how Sunny had more faith in equinity than Zipp. Alas, no, she really was robbed. Also, I feel like the sentimental value of, you know, being a cherished object made by her father should factor into Sunny’s concern on top of the lantern’s magical power.
Also, there’s something notably artificial about Sunny’s running around in that scene. It feels like a tech demo. (Insert comment #917 on how 3D is a bad idea if the higher-ups aren’t willing to give it the budget it needs.)
I’d forgotten about the monocopter drone that came with Zipp’s scan visor. Izzy really is quite talented.
“Who does this?”
“Oh, the rest of my apple!”
The best part is that this is the closest thing to a clue that Zipp has found thus far.
Okay, at least when ponies stuffed things into hammerspace in G4, they had the decency to do so on the side that wasn’t facing the camera. Zipp just shoves her visor into her belly and it despawns when it would make contact. Low budget is one thing, but this just feels lazy. Heck, why did she even need to take it off?
How many different soil samples has Zipp tasted before? How many were on purpose and how many were from overambitious aerobatics?
“Did I just taste dirt?”
… Wait, if this is new to her, then how did she know it matched the dirt in the community garden? Mysteries require some thread of logic, guys.
Speaking of illogic, I can only assume that the trail of dirt hadn’t been visible until Zipp triggered the event flag needed to get it to spawn in. Otherwise there’s no reason why she or Sunny couldn’t have noticed it. Or anypony else. This isn’t subtle, and yet even the scan visor missed it.
… Huh. Or these are incredibly subtle traces that were exaggerated for effect and we’re now seeing the common room from Pipp’s perspective. Or this whole episode thus far has had frustratingly inconsistent visuals.
Very interesting that Zipp’s cutie mark is reacting to this as positively as it is. I do have to wonder how the symbolism works there. A bolt of insight that brings together disparate clues into conclusive evidence? (Assuming symbolism even applies anymore; goodness knows there are many unanswered questions about cutie marks in this generation.)
… What?
What?
Misty fleeing without the lantern is shocking enough, but the fact that she made a half-hearted attempt to bury it is what really baffles me. What was her plan here? Wait for the ponies to give up, then unearth it and bring it to Opaline? Why not just carry it directly? Or it could have been genuine remorse and divided loyalties, but I get the feeling that won’t be the case.
Pipp. This isn’t happy fun sister times. You are incriminating yourself for theft.
It’s not the worst conflict extension I’ve ever seen—at least her heart’s in the right place—but good Lord is it aggravating when characters are this dumb just because the episode has thirteen minutes of runtime left.
Oh my God. That was Misty’s plan. And now she’s trying to retrieve the lantern in broad daylight. I have to assume that the Ebb of Magic caused neural atrophy in ponies’ brains. It would explain so much.
Actually, it really would explain so much. Especially if all the times Twilight got disenchanted over the course of Friendship is Magic caused some permanent damage. Her behavior in Equestria Girls was a warning of things to come…
“I buried it right here!”
An inch-deep hole is not burying it, Misty. It’s making a tripping hazard.
Okay, knowing that she panicked does excuse the plan. Misty hasn’t had much experience in the real world, and Opaline certainly hasn’t cultivated her risk assessment, confidence under pressure, or pretty much anything else that would help her as the alicorn’s right hoof. Once again, Opaline’s own ego is getting in the way of what she wants. I do love seeing a villain whose confidence outweighs their competence acting as their worst enemy.
And Pipp is already disrupting the investigation. Still, understanding everypony’s motivations is making this less frustrating than the artificiality of the dirt trail. I especially appreciate how Pipp assumed Zipp would be familiar with all of her sponsored cosmetics, while Zipp has no idea what to make of the wing glitter.
I like Cloudpuff serving as the programmer’s rubber duck as Sunny tries to figure out sympathetic magic.
In Zipp’s defense, “When in doubt, blame the local troublemaking fillies” is a good rule of hoof in any generation.
“[Pipp] just released a new line of wing glitter.”
Ah, and now we see if Zipp can spot the thread. Especially while fillies are screaming for mercy.
“No, a good detective doesn’t just fly to conclusions.”
She’s not wrong, but it never hurts to check every lead. On the other hand, I can hardly blame Zipp not wanting to blame her sister. Especially when Pipp has no conceivable motive. (That said, Zipp is absolutely flying to conclusions on the flimsiest shreds of evidence she can spot, so her rationale for not checking Pipp does ring hollow.)
Nice to hear that Izzy’s getting steady repair work. And that she’s integrating into the community in general. And I do appreciate a good crazed rant, especially when it’s all in good fun. (I maintain that all unicorns have a megalomaniacal phase. Izzy is clearly working through hers.)
Dirt and glitter do seem like two of the fundamental elements of Izzy’s world.
It’s hard to feel bad for Zipp when she has actually asked ponies about the lantern’s whereabouts one (1) time.
Hitch, Sparky’s a baby. Putting things in his mouth is his primary means of learning about them.
I can’t fault Sparky for his logic. This way he and Hitch both get a badge. Also, impressive control of that transmutation breath.
The town’s actual sheriff referring ponies to a freelance investigator when they report a theft is more than a little ridiculous. It really does feel like they decided that Hitch would be the mayor rather than any kind of law enforcement as of Make Your Mark.
Hitch has a point. If the goal is a spike in unity magic, sowing distrust by telling everypony some unknown thief made off with an invaluable magical artifact doesn’t seem like it will help. An impromptu festival of some kind would be far more productive on that front.
“Let’s be rational here.”
If we did that, we wouldn’t have a plot. 
Also, Sunny has resumed her role as pony Cassandra, seeing truths that nopony else believes.
Hitch. You have the keys to the jail cell. Use them.
“Where are we?”
“Not important. Besides, it’s easier for the animators to put us in a black void.”
Also, bit of a role reversal with the silly member of the cast being the subject of an interrogation.
Oh! We’re actually getting a reason for Izzy’s absence in the opening. Good to know there actually was some planning in this episode.
Okay, this is some outstanding voice work by Ana Sani. Izzy contains multitudes, and they’re all at least a little wacky.
Señor Butterscotch lives! (Also, going back, I suppose there’s a lump under Izzy’s covers, but definitely no sign of a head.)
Lovely touch with Izzy knowing Sunny’s tendency to sneak the lantern out.
I’ll just be quietly annoyed at the drone both being docked in Zipp’s chestpiece and providing the interrogation searchlight. Especially when the socket is shown empty after the lights come back on. It’s a minor thing, but still bothersome.
We’re just going to ignore Zipp’s phone falling into a filling bathtub. That or she already has a waterproof case after the first time she flew through a cloud without one.
Good to see Zipp remember she can fly while in hot pursuit. Less good to see her still nearly fly into a cable car. (Very impressive jump from Misty, though.)
Ah. I suppose if Zipp refuses to connect the dots, the plot will do it for her. This feels like the DM sighing and leading the party by the nose to the next plot point after a session full of dead ends. Or she could arbitrarily lose the trail because there’s still eight minutes left… only to regain it and then immediately refuse to look in the most obvious hiding spots, especially for a pony with such a distinctive mane. (Though I wouldn’t be surprised if Pipp made it abundantly clear what would happen if an investigation ever messed with her customers.)
Zipp finally finding Misty via offscreen teleportation after all of that doesn’t make her seem clever. It makes it seem like the writers couldn’t think of a good way to get the confrontation started. (There’s an argument that she knew where Misty was earlier and was stringing her along, but it rings hollow… aside from aforementioned sisterly threat.)
Pipp’s confession does still raise the question of the ring of dirt on Sunny’s nightstand and the gap between Izzy returning the lantern and it finding its way back to the garden. Let’s see if Zipp catches that.
… Nope. Though I don’t expect a rational overview of the entire day after her world turned upside-down like that.
I am entirely indifferent towards the music video. Though it is nice to see Pipp involve her fans like that.
Yeah, still suspicious behavior of Misty’s part. She will have to be careful in the future. Happenstance won’t always bail her out. (Well, it will until a dramatic reveal, but that’s besides the point.)
Oh dear. Somepony had better tell Sunny the lantern’s been found before she goes fully off the rails. (Also, parallels with Hitch trying to dismantle the Unity Crystals in “Growing Pains.”)
“Aw, what happened to the game of Tag?”
Those are… certainly some choices on that mare’s animation. 
Yeah, being the new Princess of Friendship has some implications, especially when you’re in the closing group laugh.
I’m always up for more magic research.
Less so emotional abuse. Opaline continues to sow the seeds of her own frustration by belittling her minion. Especially when said minion actually is having positive social interactions with others that are spoiled by her continued allegiance to Opaline. Granted, it’ll take a miracle for Misty to make that connection.
So magical items wouldn’t immediately restore Opaline’s magic? I do have to wonder how this all works with her. Having seen some of the next episode, I know we’ll get at least a little more data on that front.
Hitch, it stopped being mint condition when you opened the box.
Also, Sparky can bring life to the lifeless. (Well, the dead,, given that the puzzle piece was probably cardboard. Though he can probably also animate that which never lived.)
This was definitely a mixed bag. There are some great character moments along with a good deal of frustration on multiple fronts. Definitely not a strong point in the season; hopefully it ends on a better one. But that's next week. For now, time to see what I've put together:
Police Interrogation 1WW
Enchantment
When Police Interrogation enters the battlefield, exile target creature or planeswalker an opponent controls until Police Interrogation leaves the battlefield.
4: Police Interrogation’s controller sacrifices it and draws two cards. Only the exiled card’s controller may activate this ability and only as a sorcery.
Broad Daylight 2W
Instant
Broad Daylight deals 5 damage to target tapped creature. It becomes day.
After years spent with only Opaline for company, Misty didn’t understand many things about other ponies. Like when they were awake.
Determined Detective 3W
Creature — Pegasus Soldier
Flying
When Determined Detective enters the battlefield, investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Determined Detective has indestructible as long as you sacrificed a Clue this turn.
3/2
Just Your Imagination U
Instant
Counter target creature spell. Its controller creates a 2/2 blue Illusion creature token.
What’s worse, seeing someone who isn’t there, or not seeing someone who is?
Itinerant Tinkerer 2U
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
When Itinerant Tinkerer enters the battlefield, each player may sacrifice an artifact. Each player who does searches their library for an artifact card, reveals it, puts it into their hand, then shuffles.
Izzy was just the first of Maretime Bay’s roving repairponies.
1/3
Sympathetic Connection 2UU
Enchantment
As Sympathetic Connection enters the battlefield, choose two other permanents that share a card type.
Whenever a player casts a spell that targets only one of the chosen permanents, that player copies the spell. The copy targets the other chosen permanent.
When either chosen permanent leaves the battlefield, return Sympathetic Connection to its owner’s hand.
Lapping Waves 3U
Enchantment
At the beginning of each opponent’s upkeep, tap target creature that player controls with power X or less, where X is the number of Islands you control.
Enough white noise can lull anything to sleep, or the closest equivalent.
Trixian Reclaimer 1B
Creature — Phyrexian Unicorn Artificer
Infect (This creature deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters and to players in the form of poison counters.)
2: Exile target card from a graveyard. If it was an artifact card, put a +1/+1 counter on Trixian Reclaimer.
A confused cabal reveres a warped idol.
1/1
Pointless Cruelty 1BB
Sorcery
Target player discards a card and sacrifices a creature.
Opaline’s plans are often undone by her need to belittle everyone around her, including her own loyal followers.
Grim Premonition 2B
Sorcery
Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card, then mills X cards, where X is that card’s mana value.
“Misty seems like such a nice pony. I don’t know why I get uneasy around her.”
—Sunny Starscout
Forced Entry 1R
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+1 and gains trample until end of turn. Destroy all creatures with defender blocking it.
The older earth pony magics are often more subtle and gradual than modern developments. But not always.
Fickle Plans 2R
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard two cards or abandon an ongoing scheme.
Draw three cards.
A wise tyrant adapts to changing situations. A foolish one just gets bored.
Soil Sampler 3R
Creature — Pegasus Scout
Flying
When Soil Sampler enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice a land. If you do, investigate.
Whenever you sacrifice another permanent, put a +1/+1 counter on Soil Sampler.
2/1
Evade Questioning 1G
Instant
You may cast this spell without paying its mana cost if an opponent cast a blue spell this turn.
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. It gains hexproof until end of turn.
Misty knew the biggest threat to her cover was sincere curiosity.
Morsel Scrabbler 1G
Creature — Squirrel
Whenever an artifact is put into an opponent’s graveyard from the battlefield, you may create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
One pony’s scraps are another squirrel’s windfall.
2/2
Tropical Orchard 2G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land you control
Untap enchanted land during each other player’s untap step.
Whenever enchanted land is tapped for mana, add an additional one mana of any color.
It’s harvest season somewhere.
Misleading Evidence 1
Artifact — Clue
B, Sacrifice Misleading Evidence: Target player discards a card. Activate only as a sorcery.
2, Sacrifice Misleading Evidence: Draw a card.
Unearth 2 (2: Return this card from your graveyard to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield. Unearth only as a sorcery.)
Analysis Drone 6
Artifact Creature — Drone
Prototype 1U — 1/1 (You may cast this spell with different mana cost, color, and size. It keeps its abilities and types.)
Flying
When Analysis Drone enters the battlefield, investigate X times, where X is its power.
3/4
Smudge WB
Instant
Destroy target nonland permanent with mana value 3 or less. Scry 1.
“Never forget your own insignificance, or the mercy I show by keeping you around.”
—Opaline, to Misty
Torment of Inaction 1BR
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s end step, if that player didn’t cast a spell this turn, they lose 3 life unless they sacrifice a nonland permanent or discard a card.
Sunny is a pony of action. Not being able to help is unbearable agony for her.
Bolt of Inspiration 3UR
Sorcery
Draw two cards. Bolt of Inspiration deals 1 damage to any target for each card you’ve drawn this turn.
After weeks of inconclusive research, Zipp bucked a cloud in frustration. The rest was history.
Prisbeam Augmentation 7GW
Sorcery
Convoke (Your creatures can help you cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for 1 or one mana of that creature’s color.)
Creatures you control get +X/+X and gain trample until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures you control.
Hulking Megagopher X(bg)
Creature — Beast Horror
Hulking Megagopher enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
When Hulking Megagopher enters the battlefield, any number of target players each mill X cards.
Strictly speaking, it was helping the community garden.
0/0
That is Rightfully Mine
Ongoing Scheme
When you set this scheme in motion or at the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of each opponent’s library.
XX, Abandon this scheme: You may cast up to X nonland cards exiled with this scheme without paying their mana costs.
“All power has one source: Me.”
Not that that's new ground for the show.
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I maintain my idea that Starlight fucked a dragon. Her relationship with Sunburst and Trixie is probably open enough for it.I can recommend listening to the full version of Pipp's song from this episode. For no reason other than it sounds like an anime opening.
By all rights, this should have been the best episode of Chapter 2, or at least a contender. It's not a passive premise, stuff actually happens. Very nearly all of the core players are involved in ways that can't be stripped out. The focus is on the the best (or "best") characters in Zipp and Misty. There's almost none of the social media gunge Pipp usually brings, sans the music video (and it's a catchy enough song, even if it's used in a terrible context – I certainly see why it was used in the trailer, even if the verses and weak sauce next to the chorus). It follows up on the prior episode.
Which makes it all the more bizarre that it's the worst episode of Chapter 2, or at least the more frustrating. Primarily, this is because everypony, hero and villain, is dumb as rocks, and the writing starts feeling like self-sabotage after a fashion. At least, it feels that you'd have to put effort in to write them this badly. Maybe there was some explanation for Izzy burying the lantern the way she did, and it was cut, but outside of that being an insane part to cut, it doesn't read as removed information, but information we were never meant to get to begin with. That's just the obvious one (Zipp being such a bad detective because plot is just as subtly repulsive), and I'll spare the laundry list, but when Izzy is her usual wacky self and is the most sensible by a country mile here, we have a problem.
Add in this episode being incompatible either with taking place after the prior episode or not taking place after it, the weird decision of wrapping up the conflict with over five minutes to go and then having multiple things that should have happened while the conflict was still escalating, breaking Writing 101 (at the very least, the music video song should have been used as a montage while the investigation was going on), the admission by Opaline that "oh yeah, the thing I said we needed? Forget it, even though it would still be very easy to steal; we'll go with the harder target, the last two episodes were a complete waste of time"… yeah, it really is the consistency with which the series trips over itself on the most basic writing level anytime it has something mildly promising that does it in.
I don't know why, but it feels like the authors of this had a great idea, but just couldn't execute it. I mean, the Rarity Investigates was a competent execution of the premise. This? This sounds disjointed.
May want to give Trixian Reclaimer and Morsel Scrabbler another pass, one's missing p/t and the other triggers on moving graveyard to graveyard.
Misleading Evidence, Determined Detective, and Just Your Imagination are the favorites this time.
When you can eat grass, sometimes you pick up some of the stuff that grass is found in.
Queen Chrysalis has entered the chat.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Ordinarily, a creature whose already-declared blockers are all destroyed has to stand around awkwardly doing nothing of relevance for the rest of the combat. Trample lets you remind that creature that the path is clear to punch your opponent in the face, which is part of why Forced Entry grants it.
Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but these are some very disgruntled comments from me this week:
I suppose at this point, we should be grateful that the show remembered for continuity that the community garden now exists in front of the lighthouse.
No, I'm with the show on that one. The lantern that Argyle made and the lantern that Izzy supposedly refurbished have almost no similarities. I'm very much fine with treating it like a completely different object.
"No sign of forced entry."
Not surprising -- I'm not sure those doors are capable of locking. Heck, I'm not even sure whether anyone ever closes them.
I think it passes for character growth that Misty had the sense to simply not say anything while Zipp was introducing the subject of a missing lantern. For fifteen seconds, at least.
Our brilliant detective Zipp Storm sees nothing suspicious about a unicorn hanging out in the garden built specifically to help earth ponies practice their magic.
Every. Single. Time. that this show sets a scene in Maretime Bay's downtown, all of the characters stand directly on the trolley tracks. Maybe that's why there aren't any background characters -- they were all killed because of their inattentiveness.
Except as soon as the camera changed angles, the badge was missing from Hitch's person again. Because apparently even the writers can't be bothered to remember that Sparky's power is transforming objects, not physically relocating them.
Maybe he delegated those to Zipp, too.
`
Does it, though? I mean, yes, obviously panic can make one act irrationally, but there still needs to be some reason why it made them do this specific thing. Panic doesn't mean a character can do literally anything. And... well, I see absolutely no reason for her panic to make her bury the lantern if she's basically got it free and clear. It's not like there's some massive night guard that might catch her or a checkpoint she'd need to get past. Maybe if they had something startle her - I don't know, maybe she sees someone looking around with a torch for something unrelated, but she thinks they're looking for her - but from what I can gather, I see absolutely no reason why anyone, panicked or otherwise, would do this.
5697680
In fairness, for both Chrissi and Opaline, I think Fluttershy's confidence would outweigh their competence.
...yeah, sorry, it's been like... three weeks since my last "Chrysalis is an idiot" joke, had to get it in somewhere. Though, to be honest, as much as I rag on ol' Queenie, at least her stupidity felt natural for the character, even if her level of success was still contrived. Yeah, she's a moron, but I did look at her and think "Wow, this person is a moron!" rather than "Wow, this character is acting like a moron because she's nothing but a tool for the writers to create whatever situation they need and they needed her to act like that."