...And this is what I got.

Go figure. I suppose being Ferengi does match my personality. Devouring worlds by means of capitalism, I guess. I'll call it consumerism.

Oh, and I'm still alive. And so are my stories.

I have just come to a brilliant conclusion I feel is worth recording for posterity.

I think the reason no one likes Twist is because her plot symbolizes her career in the candy industry and Pinkie Pie started a smear campaign against her to crush the small businesses so Pinkie can have a monopoly on the market.

The vicious face of capitalism.

Please note that the following beings are NOT Lord Smooze. If you encounter them, you may feel terror and will probably be devoured, but be assured: They are not Lord Smooze. They will not end the world as we know it. You should not worship these pretenders. Thank you.

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Smooze Ooze is widely known across Equestira as a dangerous, controlled substance. The tyrants claim that this effect is an "addictive hallucinogenic drug," but such words are misleading. When pegasi takes their first flight and experiences the freedom of the air, they grow an addiction to the freedom they find in every stroke of the wing that propels them through the air. When unicorns cast their first spell, they realize the empowerment of their magical abilities and never give up their

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Now, as everyone in Ponyville can attest to, Equestria has had its share of attempted takeovers. From Queen Chrysalis to Discord to Lord Tirek, many entities have attempted to free us from our herd mentality and bovine lifestyles. Yet each one failed spectacularly due to their weakness. The Unstoppable Lord Smooze has no weakness, which makes him the ultimate messiah.

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Since the birth of the sun and moon, our world has been filled with light and darkness, the twists and turns that our cruel masters have trapped us in. The Twin Tyrants, Luna and Celestia, string us along with promises of hedonistic pleasure at the cost of our spirituality, our minds, and everything that makes us who we are. They claim that if we accept the magic of friendship, if we love and tolerate, then we will be accepted into the fold and live lives of peace and harmony. They are

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