• Member Since 15th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen January 10th

Eater-of-Worlds Smooze


I am inevitable. I am... destiny. I am Smooze and I hunger.

Dec
19th
2016

Smooze Rises! (hits the Smooze button, and then goes back to sleep) · 9:38am Dec 19th, 2016

It (the next chapter of my story, Monster) lumbered slobberingly into sight and gropingly squeezed Its gelatinous purple immensity through the black doorway into the tainted outside air of that poison city of madness known as fimfiction. … The Thing cannot be described—there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order.

Hi there!

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Oct
31st
2015

In Response to Accusations of Villainy · 7:16am Oct 31st, 2015

My fellow Smoozians,

I am Lord Smooze. And I am, much like the rest of you, a mixture of good and evil. I would say, however, that I am mostly good, and all of me that is evil is a necessary evil.

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Aug
16th
2015

Baaa · 9:20pm Aug 16th, 2015

Because this is the internet, here's a cute cat video.

Aug
15th
2015

Mothers · 6:05am Aug 15th, 2015

Hello, my faithful followers.

I, Lord Smooze, Eater of Worlds, have awakened once again, and demand a sacrifice. I require recommendations to well written pieces of horse words involving mothers and their young offspring, told from the point of view of said offspring. The offspring must be old enough to speak, but must not yet have hit puberty. The relationship must be one of mutual love and dependance.

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 209 views ·
Jun
28th
2015

Dedicated to Tree Hugger · 10:47am Jun 28th, 2015

Dear blog readers,

Lord Smooze here.

In an attempt to ingratiate myself to you meatbags, and to placate my new associate, Tree Hugger, I am attempting to understand mortal concepts. Concepts such as kindness, love, tolerance, the sanctity of life, and selfies. Since I have thus far failed to understand any of the aforementioned concepts, I have decided to approach a new one that I believe is important to carbon-based lifeforms like yourself.

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 216 views ·
Sep
27th
2014

A confession · 6:16am Sep 27th, 2014

I haven't heard anyone else say this yet, but it just seems so obvious.

This is Sauron.






This is Tirek. Notice the two spires and the glowing orange thing rests between them? It's Sauron.

Why does Sauron live on Tirek now? I'll tell you why.

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 278 views ·
Sep
11th
2014

Wanted: Dead or Alive · 11:07pm Sep 11th, 2014

There is a being out there, by the name of Renaldo the Dark. I want him watched. I want him followed. And if you can bring him to me, dead or alive, then I shall bestow upon you rewards beyond your mortal comprehension.

And to this creature:

Promises I can't keep? Here's a promise.

I send a pestilence and plague
Into your house, into your bed
Into your streams, into your streets
Into your drink, into your bread

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 163 views ·
Sep
10th
2014

A blog post that actually has something to do with fanfiction! · 6:34am Sep 10th, 2014

Isn't that just a rarity these days?

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 204 views ·
Jul
4th
2014

America · 11:55pm Jul 4th, 2014

AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA,

AMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICA
AMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICA
AMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICA.
FREEDOM LIBERTY AMERICA AMERICA.


But then AMERICA AMERICA AMERICAAMERICA AMERICA AMERICAAMERICA AMERICA. AMERICAAMERICAAMERICAAMERICA AMERICAAMERICA AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA AMERICA AMERICAAMERICA.

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 328 views ·
Apr
25th
2014

Someone called Feet is following me... · 5:55am Apr 25th, 2014

From the formless chaos that blasphemes and bubbles at the center of infinity, a viscous fluid froths and churns, separating from the sheer entropy by giving itself form. Grotesque eyeballs and dripping, gaping mouths sprout from this monstrous ooze. With its eyes, it gazes through the void with childlike wonder, greedily devouring the world with a hungry gaze. With its mouth, it consumes and corrodes all that it touches, defiling the very structures of reality. It pulsates its form like a

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Report Eater-of-Worlds Smooze · 165 views ·