Why choose Smooze? Isn't [Insert other Savior here] better? · 4:51am Nov 12th, 2013

Now, as everyone in Ponyville can attest to, Equestria has had its share of attempted takeovers. From Queen Chrysalis to Discord to Lord Tirek, many entities have attempted to free us from our herd mentality and bovine lifestyles. Yet each one failed spectacularly due to their weakness. The Unstoppable Lord Smooze has no weakness, which makes him the ultimate messiah.

Queen Chrysalis conquered Canterlot to feed her gluttony for power. Yet it was her lack of personal power that led to her defeat at the hands of her very own food. Lord Smooze is Unstoppable. Anypony that claims that he lacks personal power will swallow their words when The Smooze swallows their city whole. His unstoppable bulk will crash down upon the throne of tyranny and leave nothing but the freedom of ponykind.

Discord saw only the chaos within the world. His single-minded refusal to see the inherent need for order along with chaos was the blind spot that ultimately left him trapped in stone. Lord Smooze sees no distinctions: the world is not broken up into petty distinctions between chaos and harmony. Lord Smooze shall swallow the harmonious and the chaotic alike, for only strength of mind and faith in His cause shall save His Chosen.

Lord Tirek sought to enslave ponykind for his own pride and anger. His commitment to only one source of power, darkness, brought about the light that devoured him. Lord Smooze will devour the darkness and light alike, as He has done before. He is the enlightened messiah, and has no need for emotion or desire. He embodies freedom and spirituality as He cruises along, singing His funky gunky song. Those that sing along with Him shall know enlightenment, and those who don’t will wallow in their disgrace and impiety.

In short, Lord Smooze surpasses all pretenders, for He is the only one who is truly Unstoppable. His sheer strength will crush the heretics. Yet unlike the pretenders, He will make those who would seek to stop him despair as they realize that He has no weakness. Lord Smooze is Unstoppable. We won’t swap; nothing else can top our crop of Unstoppable Smooze.

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