We're all afraid of something. Some ponies fear death. Some ponies fear tightly enclosed rooms. However, many ponies will agree that children will usually fear the same things at some point in their lives. They're afraid of simplistic things, of course, like strangers and the dark. Snails, unlike other foals, isn't scared of the dark. He's scared of what hides inside it.

It's a harsh world that we live in, full of dastardly deeds and villainous villains. It's like a kitchen floor, splattered with so much syrup that the tile is naught but a disgusting heap of caramelizing sugar. This is where I come in. My job is to clean up the messes that ponies leave behind. I am the wet mop, rubbing against the tile to restore it back to it's former luster. I am, in simplistic terms, the janitor of Equestria.

I am Pinkie Pie.

The King of all Cosmos has never been one to shirk living vicariously through his unfortunate son, so what will happen when an ambassador of a far-off land crashes at his feet?