I HAVE BEEN DRY-HUMPING MY LAPTOP FOR THE LAST TWO HOURS BECAUSE I NEED TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR THIS EPISODE IN SOME KIND OF WAY. I STOLE MY ROOMMATE'S IPAD, I WENT TO YOUTUBE, I SELECTED THE EPISODE, AND THEN I SHOVED THE IPAD UP MY ASSHOLE.

I HAVEN'T STOPPED SCREAMING FOR THE LAST SEVEN HOURS.

MASSIVE SPOILERS AFTER THE BREAK.

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I’m twenty years old, I’ve been living on my own for three years, I’ve been buying groceries at the same fucking supermarket every single week, and they still ask me if I’m of age when I try to buy alcohol.

I say I am, they don’t buy it, and then I have to show my ID. This happens almost every. Goddamn. Time.

I sure wish that when I’m fifty I look twenty-five, because otherwise I’m calling bullshit on this.

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Boy howdy, I’ve been pretty fucking dead lately in the Fimfiction field, haven’t I? If Internet activity was self-awareness, I’d be an American citizen complaining because I can’t bring guns to the mall in Canada. Or maybe a white guy with a confederate flag on my truck explaining that I have one black friend thus I am not a racist. Pick one.

Bam. Cussing and predictable jokes in the first paragraph. We’ve already established the tone of this blog. I'm so good at this.

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So I needed a friend to pass me some notes I had lost to prepare for an exam that was coming soon. She was reluctant to do so at first, because she hates people borrowing her notes, but I knew she’ll eventually let me take a photo because we’re pretty close and help each other all the time.

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This is one of those blogs that I’ve always planned to write, but I never got to it. Why? Many reasons. First, I’m a lazy idiot. Second, I didn’t know how to face the issue. Third, I was afraid this could get repetitive or something. Fourth, I’m a lazy idiot.

But eventually I got myself together and started it. I thought something like “Meh, what’s the worst that could happen?”

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The bad thing about having a set of characters you really like is that you tend to use them a lot. Like, a lot. That is the case with the characters from Long Story Short, Things Went Down, for example.

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Okay, no.

Like, just. Just no.

Not apologizing here.

I mean, to be honest? That is partially my sister’s fault. So if you wanna get an apology, you talk to her. You’re not getting anything from this guy. If I did what I did, I did it because I’m human.

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As of today, one of the greatest authors of the last century, Sir Terry Pratchett, is no more.

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Aragón opened the door and got in with a heavy sigh. “Golly gee, this has been a horrible day,” he said. “Hi, Dad!”

Dad was sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper and sipping coffee from a mug that read 'Hitler's Father Had An Easier Life Than Me (Seriously, Fuck My Son)'. He didn't look at Aragón, he merely nodded to acknowledge he existed. “You're an abomination. I wish I could retroactively abort you,” he said.

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Ironically enough, I’ve been struggling with this blog post because I have no idea how to start it. Eventually, I just thought “fuck it, let’s go with the truth”. That always works. Plus, that way I avoid being overly dramatic for something that, truth be told, isn’t that big of a deal.

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