Fluttershy had been tending to her animals near her cottage when a loud bang startled her, causing her to jump into the nearest bush to hide. As she looked out from her leafy cover, she saw a massive thunderstorm spinning in the sky over the nearby field. Out of the dark grey clouds in the sky fell two objects, both covered in an electric blue aura and leaving a trail of energy in the same color. She watched the two objects plummet for a minute before they impacted in the hill, creating a shockwave that spread throughout the area. Gathering what courage Fluttershy had, she left the protection of her bush and set out to investigate.
When she was about halfway there, she started thinking to herself, Maybe I should call Twilight or Rainbow Dash. What if those things are dangerous? Oh, I knew this was a bad idea.
She arrived in the field within minutes, contemplating the fate of the crashed objects. The field consisted of a few small hills covered in bright green grass. It had a few patches of flowers dotting its landscape, but it was mostly barren of anything unique.
From where she stood on the edge of the field, Fluttershy could see the steam rising from the crash site. She cautiously made her way there, ducking behind bushes and diving into divots, fearful of what could lie in the now much closer pile of smoldering dirt. She considered simply giving up and attempting to escape back to her cottage to get help from Twilight or Rainbow Dash, but she decided to steal herself and push ahead.
When she finally arrived, she slowly peeked her head over the edge of the small crater that the two objects had created. Inside, she saw two, still aliens. As she looked them over, plenty of questions started flashing through her head. What are they? Are they hurt? They don't look okay, but maybe aliens just fall from the sky all the time? No, that doesn't make any sense.
Slowly, Fluttershy crept over the edge of the crater and approached the first one. It had long, spiky brown hair and wore black, damaged clothes. It was badly scraped up, but its breathing was normal.
Carefully, she stuck out her hoof and poked it in the face. It started to stir, causing Fluttershy to take a cautious step back. She forced herself to hold her ground as she poked the alien again, this time in what appeared to be its shoulder. The creature lifted its arm, causing Fluttershy to freeze in fear. It slowly brushed its shoulder and in a male voice said, "Ugh, just five more minutes."
Fluttershy could understand it. At first, she wasn't sure if that was good or bad. The creature stirred once more as it slowly opened its eyes and looked around. "Kairi?" it asked in a slurred voice.
"Um, excuse me. Are you alright?" asked Fluttershy calmly.
/)*#*(\
Sora looked into the yellow creature's big teal eyes. As soon as he realized that it wasn't human, he rolled to his side, back flipped into the air, summoned his keyblade, then landed in a perfect combat stance. Only half a second passed before Sora fell on one knee, still wounded from his fight with Xehanort.
As he brought his head up, he saw the creature that had woken him. It appeared to be a pegasus(1), and it was cowering on the other side of the crater that he and Riku created.
He dismissed his keyblade and slowly made his way toward the pony. "Hi," he said in a weak tone. "I'm Sora. What's your name?"
"I'm Fluttershy," she stammered.
"Sorry, what?"
"I said my name is Fluttershy," she said quieter.
"Didn't quite catch that." Fluttershy made a small squeak. "Um, ok. Where am I?" asked Sora as he slowly stood up straight.
Fluttershy gathered her courage and finally managed to form an audible sentence. "You're outside of Ponyville," she whispered.
"Ponyville? I've never heard of it." Suddenly, Sora remembered the events of the past few hours. "Where's Riku?" he asked frantically.
"Is that Riku?" responded Fluttershy as she pointed a hoof in the direction of the crater. Sora swept his eyes over the crater he had made until he found the still form of Riku.
He hobbled to his friend's side then got down on one knee next to him. He lifted his head and said, "Don't worry Riku, I'll get you help." He then turned to the yellow pegasus. "Hey, can you help us?" After a second of thought, Fluttershy nodded her head nervously. After all, she took care of wild animals all day. How hard could it be to take care of a couple of aliens?
Kinda short for just one chapter, dont you think?
2445246
Yeah, but I needed to put in some actual MLP content so that the story could be initially approved.
I think it will be more difficult than beating a Purifier Warmech with nothing more than your bare hands/hoofs. Just so you know Fluttershy.
solaris7.com/files/members/4898/Purifier.jpg
Last line was the best *giggles*. MOAR!
The premise of this story is great, but you spend too much time eplaing the story instead of telling it. I think you should rewrite this using the first person perspective to tell the story (IE telling the story from one of the characters perspectives. You can even switch between characters to tell different parts of the plot.) use internal monologue to illuminate past events and remember that with a story like this you don't really need to explain the set up as your audience will have played the games. If you do need to explain anything do it at the end of the fic in an authors note so that it doesn't interrupt the flow of the story. Again I like the premise but to do the story justice it needs to be told not explained.
It was good, but you seem to be skipping forward a lot.
Looking good..... Like and fave!
2446634
I see what you mean. The reason I threw in the past of the games is because I personally know a few people who haven't played all of the games. It was there mainly for those who needed the rest of the information and build up to where the KH plot is so far. Also, I understand what you mean about telling it and not explaining it, but I'm having a hard time doing that with a third person story. I'm not too good with first person, and the plot revolves around many characters, not just a few, so I thought it would be better to go with third person this time around. Thanks for the feedback though. It always helps.
Can it be?!
A fic where sora is not a pony?!
HUZZAH!
Please don't let me down!
-Kiryu
2447434
You're welcome. I'll definitely check out your other stuff.You know they say practice makes perfect so keep at.
2449110
Ah. Good to know. It still fits into the story though, her being captured by Xehanort and all, because originally, the X-Blade was forged using the 7 princesses of heart as the 7 pieces of light. It's fair to say that Xehanort could've used Kairi to replace the missing slot for the keyblade wielders. Continuity remains!
2449415
Just to get facts straight: if you wathced the secret movie from KH3D, it is made known that Kairi does in fact have the ability to wield the Keyblade.
Woah, woah, woah! This story is going way too fast! Fluttershy is way out of character, and surprisingly, so is Sora!
3764551 I've been working on a few short edits recently in the hopes of improving the pacing, something that I struggle with quite often. Also, after analyzing the games even more now to get ready for the release of KH3, I'm getting a better understanding of everyone. I guess playing through both the first game and the second one over thirty times each just isn't enough.
she slowly peaked her head
1. Peeked.