• Published 8th Feb 2012
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Rainbow and Clyde - protractror



Rainbow Dash tries to impress Clyde Pie

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Make-Over!

"Hold still Rainbow Dash! Your flinching isn't going to make this go by any quicker!" Rarity said as she pulled Rainbow's mane for the thousandth time. Needless to say Rainbow was not enjoying herself. This was the second time today she had her mane combed, after this she would be good for the next month. Rainbow never usually did anything with her hair because she really didn't need to. Honestly, when you have hair that's a rainbow you could go to the gala with bed head and no one would care. This was an anecdote she often loved to recite to Rarity whenever she would spend her third consecutive hour on her mane. However now the tables had turned.

Rarity wasn't combing Rainbow's hair though, and Rainbow really had no idea what she was doing. She knew she had washed her hair, and then had tried to stick some curly things in her mane before 'inspiration struck'. Now Rarity was just pulling out a treasure chest of objects Rainbow didn't want to see within a hundred feet of her. Razors, some crazy unicorn thing called scissors, and a clamp. Thankfully Rarity was seemed to settle on the clamp, or as she called it, a straightener. Rainbow was just beginning to calm down when she saw a fly land on the straightener and burn to a crisp.


"Gaaaah! You are not coming anywhere near me with that!" The scream was followed by much crashing and hollering, and then by a very slow closing of the door to the back of the Boutique by the owner's little sister.

"It's better if we just wait till it ends." Sweetie Belle said as she walked over to Clyde. Clyde chuckled before motioning beside him for Sweetie Belle to sit down.

"I haven't seen you in forever Sweetie Belle. How's Clyde favourite little singer?" Clyde said warmly. He had always treated Rarity and Sweetie like his own children whenever they had came over to his farm. The two families were rather close, and Clyde was almost like an uncle to the girls. Still, they only really met up about twice a year, and with a foal like Sweetie, that meant there was a lot to catch up on.

"Horrible! I just spent an entire afternoon being chased by bees and I still don't have a cutie mark." Sweetie pouted, looking almost defeated.

"Well, would you have wanted your cutie mark to be evading bees?"

"No, but at least it would have been something. Right now I'm just a big old blank flank! Well, today I have a few bee stings there, but that's not the point." Sweetie Belle let out a sigh. "I really thought I was going to get it this time. I mean, I out ran those bees way farther than Scootaloo!" She looked at Clyde like his acknowledgement would make a cutie mark appear on her flank spontaneously. Clyde for his part was used to this discussion by now after raising three fully grown mares. Celestia knows he wouldn't be a good example for Sweetie, all he had to do to earn his cutie mark was hit a rock with a pick axe. However, he had a better story to tell.

"I'm sure you ran circles around Scootaloo, Sweetie. But listen to an old Stallion here, you don't need to keep trying to get a cutie mark! These things come naturally, and most often when you least expect it." Sensing that Sweetie was just waiting to tell him how wrong he was, he kept pressing on. " Have you ever heard about how Pinkie got her cutie mark?"

"Oh yeah! There was a rainbow explosion in the sky and then she had a big party!"

"Uhm, yes that did happen. But I think your missing the moral of the story. Here, let me fill you in on some of the parts Pinkie didn't tell you. I'm sure you've realized that you can only do so much on the rock farm, right? Well Pinkie tried to do just about all of it one day. She had seen one of the girls at her school get a cutie mark of a boulder and she was so entranced she raced right home that day." Clyde let out a nostalgic chuckle, remembering the day like it was yesterday. "Next thing you know Pinkie was hitting every rock with every tool she could find. I swear if she didn't have to look back at her flank occasionally she wouldn't have ever stopped."

" So why didn't she get her cutie mark if she was doing all that work?" Clyde couldn't help but let out a quick snort.

"Because she was terrible at farming rocks! I swear she would pick up the axe by the pick half the time. The only reason I can think of why she did all this is because she wanted to make me and her mother proud. Pinkie always wanted to make everybody happy, even if it meant slaving away in the quarry fruitlessly. What she didn't realize at the time was that we never wanted her to be a rock farmer, we wanted her to be happy."

"When Pinkie finally gave up though, you know what happened? She did what she loved instead of just trying to get her cutie mark. She tried to make her family happy, and guess what? She got her cutie mark. Now, I think she was a bit to ecstatic back then to see what I'm getting at, but do you understand what I'm saying?"

"That by trying to get my cutie mark I'm really just delaying it?"

"Who ever said you city folk are dense?" Clyde got a gentle headbutt from Sweetie for that. However the moment was soon broken by another crashing sound from the back of the boutique.

"So why is Rainbow doing this anyway? What could you possibly have on her to make her do this?"

"Oh I've got nothing," Clyde smirked," but a winning poker face. Lets just say that Rainbow might be over thinking things as well. If she were to take as step back and actually think everything through, well, she wouldn't be getting her hair done."

"What's stopping her then?" Sweetie Belle said with eyes that made every trickster part of Clyde cringe.

"Let's just say it's been a busy day for her." Before Sweetie's eyes could break him he added "Busy, but for the best."

"How so?" As if on cue, Rainbow finally leaped out of the back room. she was panting and in a pile on the floor from her dramatic escape, but there was no denying the truth. She looked pretty. Her mane had been straightened, her coat exfoliated and her colours brightened. Rarity promptly followed Rainbow, choosing to walk instead of trying out Rainbow's dramatic leap of death. She seemed tired, but also extremely pleased with herself.

"Am I good or am I good? Rainbow darling, you can thank me later. And don't worry about paying me back, you get the friend's discount of course." Panting on the floor, Rainbow blew her hair off her face so she could retort.

"Thanks, I owe you one." The sarcasm was dripping to the point of flooding the room. Before Rainbow could collect herself though, Clyde had stood up and tipped his hat at the sisters.

"Mighty fine work as always Rarity. I hope to see you folks down at the farm soon. Remember you're always welcome as long as you give us a chance to whip up a fresh pie for you all. On he topic of that Rainbow, c'mon and get up. We have an initiation to do."

"I'm not done proving myself am I?" Rainbow said in a daze.

"Last one I promise. But I warn you, it is a doozy. Because really, how can you be with a Pie if you can't make a pie?"

"Wait, are we talking baking? Sir, honestly I haven't baked in years under court order. I'm not exactly a chef!"

"Humble pie doesn't count Rainbow, now come along. We've got work to do."


Meanwhile, back at the cottage Pinkie was finally packing up and getting ready to talk to Dashie. Although Fluttershy's advice wasn't exactly useable in any way, the day hadn't been a complete bust. Any day spent with a friend was a day well spent, and Pinkie wouldn't let horrible advice get in that way. With a quiet goodbye, Pinkie marched back down the road to Ponyville. She didn't know what to expect, but her mind was just full of possibilities.

Her first thought was that maybe Rainbow would be in the middle of a sonic rainboom when she would see Pinkie and coat the skies with a rainbow streaked confession of love. That's what Pinkie would have done if she was Rainbow Dash. Actually, that's what she would do regardless of the situation if she was Rainbow Dash,except spelling out different things. She'd probably never land. But Rainbow wasn't her, so that probably wasn't going to happen.

Her second thought was that maybe Rainbow would drop by sugar cube corner and have a full plate of sweets out in front of her. It was the perfect segue and dinner, allowing Pinkie to have an in by offering to help eat all the sweets. However, Pinkie eating was probably not her most becoming position, so she tried to think of something else.

The most prevalent scenario in her mind however was just something simple. Rainbow Dash was standing in town square, maybe checking out the cloudless sky she had just created. Pinkie would walk right up to her and say hi, and Rainbow would do the same. Then Pinkie would get right to it and spill out her soul. That was as far as that train of thought went though, Pinkie didn't try and go anywhere past that. One obstacle at a time was her mantra.

Really, Pinkie figured she was ready for anything. On a related note, Pinkie was also quite naive. So when she eventually saw her crush, she was blindsided by the situation. Rainbow was looking beautiful! Pinkie was seeing something on the scale of unapproachable levels of beauty. She was also flanked by her father, something Pinkie had somehow managed to block out of her scenarios. Panicking, she relapsed to what her training had taught her. With an "eep" she leaped into a nearby bush before waiting for her father and crush to pass.

"Maybe Rarity is still giving out assertiveness lessons" Pinkie thought to herself as she slowly sunk into the depths of the bush. It wasn't a perfect disguise, and to many passer-byes it was glaringly obvious. However, it was Pinkie and they more or less ignored by this point.


While all of this unfolded, Gummy found himself on a dangerous ledge. On one side was death by starvation and the presumably imminent seizure, the other a fall of great length to a future where he could live. He knew it was practically suicide, but he had no choice. Taking a step back, he then threw himself into the abyss.

A half second later he had landed unscathed. One step down, nineteen to go before the bottom floor.

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