• Published 8th Feb 2012
  • 2,101 Views, 50 Comments

Rainbow and Clyde - protractror

Rainbow Dash tries to impress Clyde Pie

  • ...


It was rare that Twilight had to actually open the door to her house for visitors, being a public library most folks just strolled in. However, some days she would have to welcome very formal visitors, ones who would knock before entering. It was for this reason which a knock on the door always gave Twilight a sense of dread. This was magnified when she actually opened the door, standing face to face with the most intimidating stallion she had ever seen.

She had seen him before, this was Pinkie's dad. Clyde Pie was an enigma to Twilight. Twilight had heard all of her friends laugh about him, or say his name in passing. From these stories Clyde seemed like a fun, honest Stallion. However, she had also seen him several times around town a few months back and he looked terrifying. Rainbow Dash, the bravest pony around, the pony who kicked a dragon in the face, had been cowering around him. She realized now that it would be the perfect time to research this conundrum and felt a little surge of glee.

Clyde's face however was so lacking glee that it sucked hers up like a vacuum. "Are you Miss Sparkle?" Clyde wasn't especially tall, but Twilight felt like he was twenty feet tall, scrunching up and taking a step back.

"Yes, that would be me. Are you looking for Pinkie?" Twilight asked hopefully, trying to deflect him before anything could happen.

"No, I already talked to her. In fact that's the reason I'm here. Apparently you've been spreading some rumors about my daughter." Twilight's eyes couldn't have gotten any wider, and her heart was approaching terminal velocity. Clyde wasn't just grumpy, he was mad. At her! Twilight took another instinctive step back, and to her horror Clyde followed her in.

"What? Pinkie's one of my best friends, I'd never say anything bad about her. I only learned what gossip even was a year ago!" Clyde wasn't disarmed by her friendly demeanor however, he in fact just looked even more mad.

"I know what you said Twilight, do you need me to read it out too you?" Clyde said as he pulled out a scroll he had brought with him. Twilight was surprised, she knew this scroll. She had written it, but there was nothing bad on it, especially towards Pinkie.

"Wait Clyde, erm, Mr. Pie, this must be a big misunderstanding! That's just a poem I wrote for my friends to celebrate my one year anniversary in Ponyville."

"Well that explains the repeating at the top. 'My little pony, my little pony, what is friendship all about?'" Clyde read the first line of Twilight's poem. It wasn't a coincidence that Twilight hadn't written since, her poem wasn't exactly loved. But she had thought that was because it was too simple, not because it was offensive. " Let me skip to the reason why I'm here. 'You all make fun and laughter as easy as Pinkie Pie.'" Do you see why I'm here?"

"No," Twilight stammered "I mean it isn't Shakespeare but I don't think the poem is mean."

"You just called my daughter promiscuous. Since when is her 'easiness' so well known that you can use it as a line in your poem? Is that all you know her for?" It took a second for the gears in Twilight's head to realize what she had said, but then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Oh, no no no no no! I meant as easy as Pie! I just threw in Pinkie so she would be included!"

"Are you saying my family is a bunch of promiscuous ponies? I'll have you know that the Pie's are known for their stoic and rigid self discipline. You on the other hand have done nothing but slander!" Clyde said, taking another step towards Twilight, who umped into the wall behind her. "I talked to Princess Celestia about this and we both agreed that there is only one punishment that fits the crime."

Twilight was distraught, nothing made sense to her anymore. She didn't have time for sense though now, because Celestia was mad at her! Too quote a friend, this was the worst possible thing. As she cowered, she somehow managed to let out a "what?", not out of curiosity but out of pure instinct.

"You're going back to magic kindergarten."

"Nooooooo!" Twilight screamed in defeat. She would have most likely curled up into the fetal position if she didn't hear uproarious laughter from outside her window. Looking up to figure out who could be laughing at something so serious, she saw even Clyde now had a smirk on his face. Pinkie was entering the library now, pulling in Rainbow by her tail. Rainbow was still laughing so hard that she couldn't walk straight.

"What's going on? Am I going to magic kindergarten?"

It was now Pinkie's turn to speak. "Hah, no silly! Daddy just helped us teach you a lesson about picking your words carefully."

"That applies to your poetry in more than one way." Clyde added, to which Rainbow just started laughing even more.

"Wait, so all of this is just a joke?" Twilight was just starting to calm down, beginning to realize what had just happened.

Clyde however had turned to leave, motioning for Pinkie and her luggage to follow her. "Yes, this was all just a prank. It's a pleasure to meet you by the way Miss Sparkle, I hope I'll see more of you this week." Twilight was alone in the library again, however now she was completely lost. With a sigh she just mumbled about Pinkie being Pinkie, and tried to go back to where she left off in her book.

"Well, I'd say that we knocked that out of the park!" Pinkie said as she bounced down the street.

"I still can't believe how gullible Twilight is! Does Celestia even have that type of power?" Rainbow said as she tried to keep pace with Pinkie.

"Well, back in my day that was actually the usual punishment for crimes." Clyde chimed in.

"Really? That's hilarious!"

"And you say Twilight is the gullible one." Now it was Pinkie's turn to laugh. She had heard a lot of ponies feared when their parents came to visit them and their other halves, but Pinkie didn't understand where they were coming from at all. The weeks where the three musketeers could get together were the best times for Pinkie. No one was safe in Ponyville from their pranks, and there wasn't better dinner conversation in all of Equestria. Even when Pinkie would have to work at SugarCube Corner, Rainbow and Clyde had finally started to get along well. In fact, better than well.

"So what's the next stop, Pinkie?" Rainbow asked her marefriend. Six months in and their relationship was only growing stronger. Pinkie did eventually move back into Sugarcube corner, but she wasn't alone. Once Rainbow had found a way to secure her cloud bed to the loft, she had moved in immediately. At first she missed the altitude, but that's easy to forget about when you wake up every morning to a fresh batch of cupcakes. However she did remember it a little every time she instead woke up to a face full of alligator. "Mr. Cake?"

"I think that poor man has been through enough recently" Clyde said as he casually strolled along.

"Nope, up next is Applejack! Apparently she said something last time you guys were here?"

"Oh right! Oh I have been waiting so long for this!" Rainbow said as she walked back too Clyde.

"Lets just try and avoid her brother today. I still haven't exactly paid for those apples we took." Clyde said as he took out two hoof rings he had brought especially for today. One for him, and one for Rainbow. "Are you ready darling?"

"Lead the way Clyde" Rainbow said as she put the ring around her hoof.

"Wait for me!" Pinkie cried as she hopped after her. Applejack would never know what hit her.

The End

(Wow, that was a blast to write! It's nice to have a project that was so well received that I enjoyed tow rite and can look back on.

I never expected when I started writing this to get some of the attention it got, and it was a fantastic shot to my ego to see people who I've read follow my story. It was also fantastic that really anybody tracked it, and to anyone who stuck through with it to the end, thank you.

I have a few ideas for my next story, but I'll just say that they both involve Discord and neither of them are comedies. Pinkie and Rainbow are in them too though, so I hope I'll see you all around when I upload them here.

Thanks for reading and I hope you've enjoyed my take on Clyde!)

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Comments ( 9 )

Trolldad extreme. Simply epic :rainbowlaugh:

hahaa, I feel so sorry for Applejack now xD
This story was a blast! I enjoyed every minute of it :rainbowkiss:

Applejack will have a heartattack. I am most pleased:rainbowlaugh:

I enjoy the dynamic between Clyde, Pinkie, and Rainbow here--it's nice that Clyde and Rainbow made up. I was amused by the reference to the extended theme song (and having it be a poem that Twilight wrote) as well as Rainbow getting pay-back against Applejack. Those were both nice touches. I do wonder if the prank against Twilight was a bit mean for Pinkie's tastes--she made a big deal in "Griffon the Brush-Off" about only doing pranks where everyone ended up laughing.

Also, one small thing:

"It was now Pinkie's turn to speak. 'Hah, no silly! Clyde just helped us teach you a lesson ...'" Shouldn't Pinkie be calling him Dad or Daddy instead of Clyde?

Overall, this was a really nice, light-hearted read. More comedy than romance, but there's nothing wrong with that. Plus, Clyde Pie finally gets to have a personality! :pinkiehappy:

309643 Thank you, I will definitely be using "simply epic" to describe myself from now on.

309837 Ahh, Applejack had it coming. Also, you don't know how much I enjoy that comment.

311050 :rainbowlaugh:, we'll see.

313686 I actually think that the prank here wasn't completely fun and games. Saying something is as easy as Pinkie Pie, Twilight should know better (She didn't mean it, but she still said it.). I feel like Rainbow would do something for her in her honour, so she called up Clyde.

I fixed the Clyde part, and thank you for your comments. They were always a blast and helpful, and that goes out to everyone who commented at all. I couldn't have done it without you guys.

It makes more sense to me if I think of it as more of a Dash prank than as a Pinkie prank. Rainbow's a bit more mean-spirited than Pinkie is.

Hah! that was funny and it's nice to see a different take on Pinkie's family, and a neat twist on the start of a PinkieDash relationship.

This is hilarious! I love Clyde!

Oh if only we could see AJ get pranked by Clude and Dash with this. It would be comedy gold!

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