A Rarity Such as I

by Touch the Sky

We Will Run and Scream

Rainbow sped through the air, leading the two unicorns towards the town centre. Rarity cantered after the colourful pegasus, and cried, "I don't understand... what would anypony want with Pinkie Pie?"
Rainbow executed a sharp U-turn, moving to skim the ground beside the other two. "I don't know... they said something about marshmallows..."

As Rainbow zoomed back up to roof level, Rarity and Twilight exchanged a concerned glance.
"If they wanted marshmallows, they could have just asked her. She'd have pelted them with about a million marshmallows if they just asked for a few. But they just grabbed her and barricaded her in Sugarcube Corner with every pink or white pony in town." Rainbow said, then looked down at Rarity. "They must have missed you."

Twilight looked at Rarity again, and Rainbow said irritably, "What is with the glances? Do you guys know something I don't?"
Rarity gave a tiny, imperceptible headshake and Twilight looked up at the blue pegasus. "No, we were just... uh..."
"...telepathically discussing plans for rescuing Pinkie!" gabbled Rarity hurriedly. Rainbow narrowed her magenta eyes, but then just said,
"Wow. I didn't know you unicorns could do that. Still, you're nowhere near as awesome as pegasi."

Twilight mouthed 'Telepathy?' to Rarity, pulling an incredulous face. Rarity rolled her eyes and kept running. Suddenly Rainbow yelled, "There!" and shot in a flash of spectrum towards a black and white stallion in camouflage armour, barrelling into him and pinning him down. "What gives, soldier boy? Why have you rounded up all the pink and white ponies?"
The stallion struggled beneath Rainbow's hooves. "None of your business, civilian. We'll release the ponies when we've found the one we're looking for."

"Oh? And who are you looking for?" snapped Rainbow. "You let Pinkie and the others go, now!"
The soldier pushed her off and stood up. He was a tall earth pony, similar in build to Applejack's brother Big Macintosh, with a predominantly black coat, a few splashes of white showing around his armour. His mane was obscured by his helmet, though his short tail was spattered with green and brown paint, giving it a camouflage effect and making it impossible to identify his tail's natural hue.
"We can't. We were sent here with orders to find a specific pony, and we aren't leaving without them." Suddenly the soldier spotted Rarity and pounded his hoof on the ground. "Troops, fall in. We've another to check."

Immediately three more soldiers, almost exactly like him except for variations in size and species- for there was a pegasus, unicorn and another earth pony- sprung from nowhere to surround the two unicorns. Rarity's ears flattened, but Twilight just growled, lowering her head like a bull preparing to charge.
"Don't be foolish, purple one." said the first soldier. "We only wish to examine your companion."

Twilight ignored him and purple magical aura surrounded her horn. She fired a spell at the unicorn soldier, who raised a magical barrier with a flash of emerald glow. Twilight's spell dissipated, but so did the shield, and Twilight prepared another spell.

Rainbow launched herself with a yell at the pegasus soldier, who threw himself on the ground as she swept so close by him that she could touch him, and so she reached out and with a quick strike of a blue hoof knocked him sprawling.

Rarity was left to contend with the two earth ponies, who advanced on her, stopping as she threatened with a spell, pale blue aura surrounding her horn.
The first earth pony spoke. "You have nothing to fear. If we examine you and find you are not the pony we seek, we will let you go immediately."

"Yes." chimed the second. "One simple check."
But Rarity knew it was almost certainly she they sought, and was about to cast the spell when Twilight shouted something. There was a flash of purple, then white, and then Rarity was standing in Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow and Twilight stood beside her, Rainbow looking just as confused as Rarity felt.

Just then there was a squeal and Pinkie crashed into them, hugging all three of them at once. "Ohmygoodness, you guys, it's been so boring, I mean, those weird ponies caught me and brought me here all of ten minutes ago, and there's nothing to do! And I've already eaten all the cakes and sweets, but nopony has any idea what's going on, andtheninoticedthatallthepinkandwhiteponiesexceptRaritywerehereandwonderedwhy, andthen-"

Rainbow shoved a cyan hoof in Pinkie's mouth. "Okay," the pegasus said crossly. "Will somepony please tell me what the hay is going on here?"
"I don't know." lied Rarity. "Maybe-"
But before Rarity could panic at her lack of a plausible story, a small white filly trotted over. "Rarity?" said Sweetie Belle. "What are you doing here?"

"Sweetie Belle?" cried Rarity. "They didn't hurt you, did they?"
"No." came the reply. "I was with Applebloom and Scootaloo planning new schemes for getting our cutie marks in the town square, when one of those soldiers showed up. He told me I needed to come with him, so I followed him. The next thing I knew, I was locked in here."
"Sweetie Belle, how many times have I told you not to wander off with strangers?"
"Too many." muttered Sweetie Belle. "But he seemed so official, and he sounded really serious. I wondered if... something had happened to you, or our parents."
Rarity hugged her little sister. "It's okay. I'd probably have done the same."

"Ahem!" declared Rainbow Dash. "Now that touching moment is over, don't you think we should put our heads to busting out of here?"
"Way ahead of you, Dashie!" said Pinkie Pie cheerfully, as the last lock on the door clicked open.Pinkie was about to shove the door open when Twilight intervened. "Wait! We don't know how many of those soldiers are out there."
"Who cares?" Rainbow blustered. "I can take them all, hooves down."
"Rainbow, you know that isn't true. We need to think this through."

"Um... I think I might be able to help..." came a inconspicuous whisper.
"Huh? Fluttershy, is that you?" said Twilight. The yellow pegasus emerged from the storeroom, head down so that she couldn't see the incredulous stares directed at her. "What are you doing here? You aren't white, or pink."

Fluttershy let out a frightened squeak. "I was getting some carrot cake for Angel... when those soldiers barged in and pushed everyone out. I ran into the storeroom and hid, and they didn't find me. Then they locked the door and only opened it to shove ponies in... I didn't want to be caught, so I stayed hidden."

"Well, how can you help us get out?" demanded Rainbow Dash.
"There's... there's a back entrance which I think is unguarded..." squeaked Fluttershy.

"Oh, I remember! The kitchen entrance!" chimed Pinkie Pie. "Silly me!"
"Well come on, let's go!" said Twilight.
Pinkie showed them the exit, and Twilight tentatively pushed the door. It was unlocked. Confident that the soldiers did not know about this exit, all of the ponies filed out. Rainbow spread her wings and prepared to take flight, but Rarity grabbed the pegasus's colourful tail.
"You can't, Rainbow! You'll show them all where we are!"
Grumbling, Rainbow folded her wings again. "So now what do we do?" she demanded.
"Well, we can't just disperse to our homes, the soldiers would catch us again!" said Sweetie Belle.

"I agree." nodded Rarity. "We should stay here until we think of a plan to get rid of those soldiers."
"Troops, fall in!" came a shout and what appeared to be a whole squadron of the soldiers appeared, the pegasi flying in, the unicorns teleporting in and the earth ponies sprinting to form a circle around the escapees. A few pegasi stayed in the air to stop any pegasi breaking free.
Twilight, Rarity and the other unicorns were held by a spell from the unicorn soldiers, and try as they might they could not use their magic.

Fluttershy huddled against the ground as a pair of soldiers trotted into the circle. Where they passed a white or pink pony, a tuft of pink or white coat was pulled out and licked by the smaller soldier. Each time, the soldier shook his head, sometimes shuddering at the unpleasant texture of hair on his tongue, and the pony which had given the tuft of their coat was dismissed and allowed to leave the circle. They trotted quickly away, wondering what on earth the point had been.

Eventually Rarity's turn came. After Sweetie Belle and Pinkie had been checked and dismissed, Rarity was the last pony to undergo the 'examination.' A tuft of fur was yanked from her shoulder, and the soldier licked it. Excitedly, he bounced up and down, nodding and jabbing a hoof at Rarity. Rainbow, Fluttershy and Twilight, though not checked themselves, had waited for Rarity and Pinkie, and were standing on the outside with the pink party pony, and all of them, except Twilight, were throwing confused stares at each other. Twilight just gazed at Rarity and looked miserable.

"Miss." said a soldier, the earth pony soldier they had first run into. "You must accompany my command. We have sought you for several months."
Rarity turned an imperious gaze on him. "Excuse me, sir, but I have no intention of trekking around with a horde of scruffy stallions playing soldiers. I have a business to run."

The soldier stepped forward. "Miss, on my authority as General Blackthorn, I must insist you accompany us. If you refuse, we will take you by force."
The surrounding soldiers took a step forwards, but just then there was a loud, "Yee-haw!" and an orange blur knocked over one of the unicorns.
"Applejack!" cried Twilight, as Rainbow, needing no invitation, shot into the air and began to batter the pegasi guards.

Rarity spotted a gap, and turned back to General Blackthorn. "I apologise, dear sir, but it appears that the wisest course of action for me is to..."

"RUN!" screamed Rarity to the other five, and fled towards the boutique.

Author's Note:

Yeah... I couldn't think of any other definite test the soldiers could do... so... meh.

Not sure whether to carry on. I've been working on a tragedy to see if I could pull it off, so that's been taking priority over this.

That and I don't actually know what's going to happen next.

Comments

[Darkstar195]

What. The. Heck.
I can't tell if this is a troll fic or a normal fic, but it seems to be the latter. Anyway, Ima think about what I just read.
I wonder if there are any jelly bean ponies as well...

[Touch the Sky]

I needed something original... I'm not trolling, I just thought it would be interesting.
Thanks for reading, anyway.

[GreyAcumane]

Son, you better add a freaking "random" tag to this story, I don't care how sad its supposed to be.

[Touch the Sky]

Done and done
After I read it through again, I agreed with you.
I also removed the 'Sad' tag, because I trial-wrote the ending and decided it wasn't that sad.

Thanks.

[Tonto the Trotter]

This could be a pretty fun adventure story, all you need to do so is keep up this flowing narrative you seem to have. Keep at it, I smell and see potential in this.

[CeresBane]

2395583

trollfics are only troll fics because you're an idiot looking to be trolled.

[Touch the Sky]

>>Tonto the Trotter Thanks!

I predict I will now be unable to replicate the 'flowing narrative' in later chapters.

[Sonic Derpboom]

It's been quite a while since I've seen this meme.

[Fimbulvinter]

Soldiers prick her hoof with a needle. If she bleeds blood she is normal. If gooey white molten marshmallow comes out instead, then she is the one.

This seems like a fun little random, not trying to be too serious about itself. I wonder how long it will be before Pinkie begins to hear the voices commanding her to 'eat the marshmallow'

[Fresh Cookies]

2396330

[re- Yamsmos]

Oh shi! Are they gonna cut off her hooves?

[Touch the Sky]

>> Fimbulvinter
Why didn't I think of that

[Darkstar195]

2395756 Um. Thanks for that glowing compliment, which I deserved, and which I totally get.