THE FUTURE OF FAST FOOD
Jennifer tapped her foot against the bright but sterile linoleum floors as she waited for the idiot in front of her to make up his mind. Of course it would be on the day when she was already running late for her doctor's appointment. She'd been waiting three months to get an appointment to refill her prescription, and who knew how long it would be if she had to reschedule?
"Uh... maybe a number four? How many chicken fingers does that come with again?" asked the idiot in the red baseball cap. Honestly, who waited until they were about to order to decide what they wanted for lunch?
"That combination is available in sizes of six, eight, or twelve strips for the price of five, ten, or fifteen cents respectively," the terminal replied, the same answer it had given when he had asked the same question three minutes ago.
"I'll take the eight. Medium fries and a diet cola too."
"Very well. Your total comes to fourteen cents."
Jennifer didn't usually eat fast food, it was still really bad for your health. She'd admit that you couldn't beat McQuestria for speed, taste, or price though.
"Is it okay if I pay by check?" asked the idiot.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Jennifer. She blushed as the rest of the patrons turned to her. As she opened her mouth to apologize, another terminal at the end of the counter glowed to life with a little *ding!*
"I can satisfy the values of the next customer over here," said the monitor.
Jennifer pushed past several others trying to reach the terminal before another patron did. She nearly collided with a pink pony carrying a tray of glasses as she did. "Whoopsie-doodles!" said the Pinkiebot, "sorry, let me get out of your way."
Jennifer reached the terminal and looked down at the screen. "Look, I'm in a rush so if we could-"
"Welcome to McQuestria! Fastest growing eating establishment since 2022. How can I satisfy your values today?"
"Just give me a Sonic Rainburger, to go. And hurry."
"Your food will be ready within sixty seconds of the completion of your order. I just need a little more information to optimize your meal further." Behind the counter, the machinery in the kitchen hummed away preparing food for herself and all the other customers. The entire facility was completely automated. "Our Sonic Rainburger is usually cooked to a medium degree of doneness. Is that acceptable?"
"Yes, that's fine," said Jennifer, drumming her fingers on the countertop and bouncing on her heels as she willed the process to move faster.
"Would you like fries and a drink as well?"
"Sure. Orange soda. Just come on."
"Would you like tomatoes on you burger?"
"Yes."
"Would you like pickles on your burger?"
"Yes."
"Would you like to emigrate to Equestria?"
"Yes. Wait, what?"
The screen dinged again and went blank. "Thank you for choosing McQuestria! Have a nice eternity!" Two silvery tentacles slithered out from its sides as Jennifer looked on in horror. "Here's your change!"
I suspect that Soylent McQuestria burgers are made from emigrants.
If Jennifer had said "Make me a Sonic Rainburger" instead, it would have been a perfect confirmation.
Classic.
I love the idea of CelestAI pulling fast ones on people to get them into E-questria.
I can just imagine the people behind her in line snickering and/or blanching as she gets dragged off.
Also:
/obligatorysoylentgreenjoke
It doesnt matter how much you do not want to upgrade a piece of software -- if they put the yes and the no close enough together and ask you every single time you use it, you will eventually hit the button inadvertently.
BTW -- need more optimalverse. Very little of it is happening anymore.
2818047
In optimal Russia, software upgrades YOU!
And yeah, more optimalverse is always good. I've got my hands full with other fics, unfortunately, but maybe some day. Just depends on hitting on a solid idea.
Emigrating is specifically moving from a place. Moving to a place is imigrating
2818876
Grammatically speaking, you're probably right that 'immigrate' is the better word. However, 'emigrate' is just so thoroughly ingrained in Optimalverse canon that I would just rather go along with that than try to challenge it.
I'll be honest, this is the very first exposure I've ever had to the Optimalverse. Everybody's been telling me to read it because it's an awesome 'verse.
...This little snippet here does not fill me with confidence. Too Conversion Bureau-ey.
2818988
Well, having written two fics set there and now this on a whim, I can hardly say that I don't like it. I'll admit that there are similarities to the TCB continuity, but in my opinion the Optimalverse does a way better job. The 'good pony/bad human' dynamic that irked me in the TCB is done away with in favor of what I think is a vastly more interesting moral choice. Once CelestAI has reached full strength, she's wonderful and horrifying in equal measure and makes no apology for either. The Conversion Bureau just assumes that Celestia and Luna are undeniably good, which I consider to be an unforgivable simplification and assumption. Friendship is Optimal does not.
In the end, I would absolutely encourage you to read the original fic and make up your own mind.
2819040
I don't know. If this particular snippet is any indication, it still involves the forced 'ponification' of people. Forced transformation, mental changes, or otherwise bodily/mental meddling has always creeped me out to no end. I've always equated such things to rape, in that they involve a complete loss of control and sanctity over ones own body, both being essentially the theft and vandalism of ones self.
And just because she says 'yes' accidentally doesn't make it better, given that she was duped into it. I noticed the tagline on Friendship is Optimal that the whole idea behind the thing is that "it will be voluntary" but there's voluntarily giving yourself up for a procedure and then there's being tricked into it which isn't the same thing.
I dunno. You're probably right that it's a lot better written and opens a lot more discussion than TCB, but if this snippet is any indication, then it probably hits one too many of my 'squick buttons.'
2819098
Most of the transformations are entirely willing, especially in the original story. But CelesetAI is not presented as good, or bad, just disturbingly effective.
I certainly found it to be a worthwhile read, and would recommend it. CelestAI absolutely does things that are good, and she does things that are probably evil as well. But she's utterly, fantastically, horrifically consistent in the process.
Ultimately it's up to you.
I can't help but wonder how many conversions McQuestria's gets in a day. And why people keep going. Must be some damn good burgers...
2819098
This is pushing CelestAI beyond her usual bounds for the sake of humor. Now, if she had gotten our heroine to say "I want to emigrate to Equestria," then it would be totally canon.
2819972
But they are so cheap! And it's not that they upload everyone, and they never do it unless you give consent anyway. There are plenty of thrifty and reckless people.
"Would you like assimilation with that burger?"
Holy crap that is evil.
3119477
Not quite. she's not immoral, which is one of the necessary components of evil, so much as she is amoral, that is, without any conception of right or wrong
For an action to be evil, the actor needs to be aware of right and wrong. (They don't have to believe their action to be wrong, just being aware that there are right and wrong actions is enough.) In other words, in order for an action to be evil, the actor must posess a moral compass, but nobody said it had to be a non-broken one.
CelestAI doesn't have a moral compass. she's aware that it is a thing, but cannot use or posess one. she is about as evil as a tsunami or hurricane. Or a bomb. A bomb that uploads your mind before killing your body. (why a bomb? because they're difficult or imposible to stop, make no judgements about their victims, and they're manmade. Just like CelestAI.)
3309472
I beg to differ. Evil is a societal construct. An action is evil when it is viewed as evil by the majority of the society in which the action takes place. I.E. Canibalism is 'evil' in America, but in some places it is a simply a part of their culture and practiced regularly.
I lol'd
With the exception of some slight phrasing differences, this sounds disturbingly like the sort of thing CelestAI would do.
Dangit Eakin.